"I never had to say goodbye,

You must have known I wouldn't stay.

While you were talking about our life,

You killed the beauty of today."

Cry For You by September

XXXI

Trees came in and out of her vision as Kisara stared out of the window, blipping in and out of existence one by one. As she felt the train rumble, her eyes remained focused on the passing trees. Some were larger than others. Some were farther away. No matter their size or shape, the train passed each one and in a matter of seconds, it was gone. Kisara couldn't remember all the trees she had seen on the side of the tracks. Instead, each one that passed was another mark of how close she was to returning to him. Not her actual home, but the other place she had come to call home. The one that could be found in Domino City, Japan.

Her eyes shifted down to the CD player that sat in her lap. A portion of the device was see-through, and her eyes followed as the CD spun around and around indefinitely. The soothing melody of Chopin Nocturne Op.9 No.2 by Arthur Rubinstein echoed in her ears and centered her. Classical music was her favorite to listen to on any occasion, but watching the CD spin as it played the album she had heard a hundred times before, she was reminded of how much time had passed in a blink of an eye. The days of preparation for her move to Japan, the hours that it took to fly there, and even the first couple of months she lived in Japan had all occurred over a year ago and yet she still remembered everything like it was yesterday.

Kisara looked away from the window and down at the CD player that sat in her lap. As the music continued to play, she remembered one memory in particular. October 25th… Seto's birthday. Tomorrow would mark a year since she witnessed Seto go on a rampage in his office. She remembered standing there, watching him destroy everything in sight and attempting to reason him back to consciousness. When Seto couldn't be reached, she turned on classical music and blasted it into the room. It was the music that brought Seto back to his senses.

Kisara placed a hand on her CD player and closed her eyes. So much had changed since then. In the year that had passed, Seto and Kisara had dated, broken up, gotten back together, and fallen in love with one another. It was astonishing to think of a time where Seto didn't make Kisara's heart leap out of her chest upon seeing him, though perhaps he had always had that effect on her. It was impossible to deny, even from the earliest of their interactions, that there was something special between them.

"Next stop: Domino City," stated the automated voice from the intercom. Kisara unplugged her headphones and began gathering her things together. It wouldn't be long now before she arrived at the station where Seto would greet her. Yes, much had changed between them, but she liked to think it was for the better. As hard as they had tried to keep themselves from falling apart, perhaps they were meant to come together the way they had. Their relationship was never perfect but it was real, just like the feelings they had for one another.

"Now arriving at: Domino City Station." The train proceeded to put on the brakes and slowly come to a stop. Kisara swung the small bag she had brought over her shoulder and got up from her seat. Her legs were shaking a bit from anticipation, making it difficult to stand upright without teetering a bit. She always got this way right before she would see Seto for the first time in a week. Nevertheless, she put all of her energy into calming herself and neutralizing her face. Big, bursts of emotions seemed to daunt Seto, especially in crowds, so she wanted to appear just as cool and collected as he was.

The doors opened and passengers began to pool out of the train. Kisara took a deep breath. Typical symptoms she experienced upon first seeing Seto included squealing, jumping up and down, and uncontrollable hugging. She would get lost in her own excitement when she first saw Seto but she was determined that this time would be different. After all, it wasn't every day that she came home to Domino City to see him. In fact, it was the first time she had been back since the day she left for college.

Kisara exited the train and immediately spotted Seto in the crowd. He was incredibly tall, and dashingly handsome, so it wasn't hard to miss him. She could feel her heart doing a back flip in her chest but kept herself from doing anything other than walking forward. As thrilled as she was, she was even more so over the fact that she was actually managing to keep calm. Her eyes locked with Seto's as she moved forward, distracting her from the pair of arms that locked themselves around her waist. She never fell over from impact.

"Kisara! You're here!" Kisara looked down to see a mess of black hair and two gray eyes looking back up at her, "Nii-sama let me skip school just to come and see you. Isn't that great?" All of her preparation and composure went right out of the window the moment she saw Mokuba. Her bags fell to the ground instantly. She bent down and brought the boy into her arms, lifting him up into the air.

"Oh my gosh, Mokuba! Look at you! I can't believe you're here! I'm so happy to see you!" Kisara squealed so loudly that nearly everyone in the station stopped and stared at her for a moment. Tears formed on the edge of her eyes as she twisted back and forth, clutching Mokuba against her. The sight of Mokuba reminded her of how long it had been since she had seen the boy and how important he had been to helping her survive her first year in Japan.

"Aw, I'm happy to see you too… but could you put me down? Everyone is looking at us," Mokuba asked, shocked by Kisara's burst of energy and feeling uncomfortable by the many eyes that were looking his way. She placed him back down and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. It's just been so long since I've seen you, I can hardly believe you're standing right here."

"The last time you saw him must've been the day I showed up at your apartment." Kisara looked up at Seto and smiled. His arms were open and inviting. Kisara graciously rose to her feet and planted a kiss right on his lips. "Which means it's been about two and a half months since you've seen him." Kisara turned back to Mokuba, noticing that he turned away as they kissed.

"Does our kissing gross you out? Don't tell me you still think girls have cooties."

"What? Of course not! I haven't thought that since I was in second grade."

Kisara laughed. Seto picked up the bags at her feet and the three of them began walking towards the parking lot. Seto walked ahead as Kisara and Mokuba followed a few steps behind, walking side by side.

"Well, that's good to hear. Aren't you in high school now? Pretty soon you'll be getting a girlfriend of your own!" Kisara said. Seto tensed up and stopped walking. Kisara and Mokuba stopped as well.

"I wouldn't give him any ideas," Seto stated sternly, looking back at Kisara and Mokuba, "Mokuba isn't old enough to start dating and I'll be deciding when he's of age for that." Mokuba smirked and crossed his arms with pride.

"How do you know I don't already have a girlfriend and you just don't know about it?" There was a split second of terror that flashed on Seto's face before his expression changed to anger. It was so brief, Kisara almost wondered if she had seen the look of terror at all. It seemed Mokuba had seen it too as he laughed to lighten the mood. He ran up to him and nudged Seto's side.

"Calm down, Nii-sama. You know I wouldn't do something like that. Besides, girls are annoying. The only girl I like is Kisara, and that's just because she's like my sister." Seto smiled, giving Mokuba a ruffle of his hair in affirmation. There were a few moments where the pair of brothers stood apart in silence, looking up at each other knowingly with a smile on their faces that confirmed everything they knew would never change: they would always be a team. It always warmed her heart to see how close Seto and Mokuba were to one another. Although the two didn't look like brothers in appearance, it was the way they smiled that marked their kinship.

"How about we get a move on then? The car's not far from here." Kisara snapped out of her thoughts and followed them into the parking lot where Seto's car was waiting for them. It wasn't until everything was packed up and they were on the road heading to her apartment that she remembered a very pressing issue she had meant to bring up earlier.

"Seto, are you heading to my place?"

"Yeah, I thought maybe you would want to drop your stuff off before we hung out. Why?"

"There's a bit of a problem with that. I sort of don't live there anymore." Seto's eyes shot up into the rear-view mirror.

"What?! Since when? You said everything was going to be fine in terms of covering your rent while you were at school."

"And I was telling the truth when I said that. You see, the apartment I was staying in was never mine, it was my aunt's and, well, she moved back in when I moved out for school. She called me up a couple weeks before I was due to start the semester and said it was perfect timing." Seto pulled the car over into the next open parking lot he could find and parked the car. Seto turned around to face Kisara. She didn't want to meet his gaze, looking away and slumping in her seat.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't upset me—I'm just confused. When were you planning on telling me you were homeless?" Kisara shrugged, turning her face back towards Seto.

"I figured I would tell you when I was actually homeless. I technically live in my dorm right now," She continued, her voice trailing off a bit. "That is until the end of the semester when I come back home. I only saved up enough money to attend for one semester." The conversation became quiet after that. Mokuba's attention switched back and forth between Seto and Kisara. Both of them avoided each other's gaze, neither knowing what to say or who should speak first. Seto shifted in his seat, facing forward and placing his hands firmly on the steering wheel. Kisara turned her head to look out the side window. Mokuba considered suggesting a solution himself but then again, he didn't know what that solution would be. He sat back in his seat and decided it was best if they worked it out amongst themselves.

"So… yeah. Anyway, is it cool if I stay at your place this weekend since I don't have anywhere else to go?" Kisara asked, breaking the incredibly long two minutes of silence between them. She didn't know what else to say or if there was anything else to say. The situation was what it was. For now, she just wanted to enjoy the weekend that was ahead and get a break from all her stress.

"Of course. It's not like we don't have room at our place," Mokuba answered, happy he finally had something to contribute to the rather awkward lack of conversation. Seto said nothing, instead he started up the car again and began heading in the complete opposite direction, towards the Kaiba Mansion. It wasn't that Seto was mad at Kisara but more… flustered. Why wouldn't Kisara provide him with such crucial information on her own? He only ever found out these things after the fact, and it made him wonder if there were other things Kisara kept from him. After nearly a year of dating, could Seto honestly say he knew her?

Seto was determined to have his questions answered before Kisara returned to school at the end of the weekend.

It was only 11 p.m. but there Kisara was, already in her pajamas, and getting ready for bed. Even though it was Friday night, her strange sleep habits—namely her inability to sleep past 4 a.m.—made it undesirable for her to stay up late, whether it was the weekend or not. The only reason she had stayed up so late was because she was chatting with Mokuba until Seto told him it was time to go to bed which was when Kisara realized she should probably head to bed too.

After changing out of her clothes, she unpacked some of her things in order to take out what she was really looking for. A large, thin envelope with Seto's name printed on it with a card attached to the exterior. It was the gift she planned on giving Seto tomorrow when it was his birthday. She wasn't entirely convinced Seto would like it, but working with what little money she had, Kisara liked to think it was the thought that would count.

It was then that Kisara heard a soft knocking on the door. She quickly stashed the item under the bed before greeting the stranger that lurked outside, though she had an idea who might be gracing her at this hour. When she opened the door, it didn't surprise her to see Seto standing opposite to her.

"I hope I didn't wake you," Seto said, cautious as to whether he was disturbing her or not.

"No, no. I was getting ready to sleep but hadn't actually made it to bed yet," Kisara replied with a tired smile. "I'm sure by now you know that I tend to be an early sleeper to accommodate my sleeping habits." She stepped to the side, giving Seto the okay to come in. Despite his stoic exterior, she could tell there was something on his mind. Seto was hesitant to accept the invitation.

"Are you sure? If you were planning on sleeping, I don't mind going back to my office. I have some stuff I need to work on anyway." Kisara held his wrist and pulled him into her room. She led him to the side of her bed before they both sat down. Seto still appeared worried that he was intruding.

"It's okay, Seto. I can tell you want to talk. What's going on?" Seto appreciated Kisara being direct. It made him feel more comfortable about what he was going to ask. He shifted his body to face her completely before speaking.

"I came here because sometimes I feel as though there isn't a lot I know about you. I mean, I certainly know things about you, but when it comes to the really important stuff, I wonder if you've been holding back." Seto was greeted by a quizzical look on Kisara's end.

"What do you mean? Do you think I've been lying to you?"

"No, not that. It's like I said… I just feel as though, in a lot of ways, you're a mystery to me. There's so much I don't know about you, stuff that probably should've come up by now." Seto was one to talk, Kisara thought. After all, it wasn't like Seto had told her much about himself either. Though, to be fair, a lot of his life was in the public eye. Perhaps it was possible that they were uneven in what they knew about each other.

"Well, what is it you want to know? Ask me whatever questions you have and I'll answer them." Seto took no time at all to answer, as if the question had been present in his mind from before he walked into the room.

"What was the reason you and Mahad broke up? You've made it clear why you guys didn't work as a couple but I don't think you've ever told me what it was that finally ended your relationship." Kisara was silent for a moment, feeling her body tense up at the mere memory of what happened between her and Mahad. She would never forget the day but she never liked to remember what happened. Recalling it brought back too much pain for her.

"He…" Kisara was lost for words. Seto was sitting across from her, waiting for her to speak, and she knew she couldn't get around it. He wanted to know, needed to know, what it was that happened. It had been a year since she retold the story, but perhaps talking about it would make it hurt less.

Seto could tell that she was lost in her own thoughts, though it looked more like she was drowning in them. Her face was darkened as she mentally sunk into the painful memories. He wanted her to know that he didn't want to hurt her. Seto placed his hand on Kisara's.

"Kisara, are you okay?" Her hand immediately retracted from his, as if the mere touch of his hand had burned her skin.

"He told me we needed to see other people. He said that our relationship had become routine and that he felt like we were bored with each other. We never did anything new so what reason was there for us to stay together?" Kisara's eyes stared down at the tightly folded hands in her lap. Her fingers clasped onto each other for dear life, as if they were the chain links to the anchor that maintained her sanity. She was fighting back tears… or rather, fighting herself from being on the brink of tears.

"The fact of the matter was that he was bored with me. I wouldn't let him sleep with me and he knew that there were other girls that would. There were plenty of reasons why we needed to break up, but being bored of each other wasn't one of them. I didn't say anything to him, though. I was willing to take any reason to get out of that relationship so that's exactly what I did."

"What happened after you guys did break up?"

"I left. I got all of my stuff together, bought a plane ticket, and arrived in Domino City, Japan with nothing but a suitcase and my determination to follow my dreams," Kisara continued, finally meeting his gaze with hers, "It's like I told you before; I always dreamed of coming to Japan and working for you. Mahad and I breaking up only provided the realization that it was time to go sooner rather than later. Leaving was always part of my plan."

There was still confusion on Seto's face although Kisara couldn't pinpoint why. She told him everything there was to say. There wasn't anything left to the story and quite frankly, she didn't really want to keep talking about it. Kisara became cross, staring at Seto's face that seemed to yearn for more answers.

"I don't know why you keep looking at me like there's more to ask."

"I just don't understand why. If your relationship with Mahad was that bad, why not leave sooner? Why did you wait until he was bored with you to leave?" There it was. The question Kisara couldn't answer. No, it wasn't a question she couldn't answer. It was a question she didn't know how to answer.

"I honestly don't know," Kisara spoke slowly, softly, contemplating each word as it came out, "I guess he just had this hold over me. I wanted to leave him, but I couldn't let go. I tried all throughout our relationship but there's something about him…" Kisara didn't even know what it was about Mahad that kept him in her life for as long as he did. Her voice trailed off as she pondered what it was inside of her that refused to let him go, from her head and her heart.

Kisara hadn't noticed she was crying until she felt Seto wipe away some of her tears. She looked up, having spaced out for a while, lost in the vast memories and emotions of a strange and mysterious time in her life. She looked at Seto who looked back at her. Without saying anything, he brought her into his arms and held her close to his chest. She let herself be engulfed in Seto's warmth, his scent, and his presence as the tears began to flow freely now and her thoughts wandered to darker places.

What did it mean to have spent a year being with someone who caused her pain? Why did she allow herself to be hurt by someone who didn't treat her with respect? What part of herself held such great self-loathing that she actually allowed someone to treat her so poorly for so long? Seto may have begun the conversation in search of answers, but the conversation ended with Kisara finding she had even more questions than he did. The most prominent being: what was wrong with her?

She hoped to never find out or at the very least, that Seto never did. Maybe he would stop loving her if he ever knew. She also hoped to never see Mahad again, because she knew he was responsible for making her question herself. Mahad was the reason she would never be sure she could truly love another man again.

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! And depending on where you live, happy snow day too! I spent most of my snow day yesterday inside editing this fabulous piece of work so that I would be on time to post it today. Why today? Well, not only is it the holiday of love, but today also marks the three year anniversary of this story! I don't think there's ever been a story that I've worked on for this long before but because of college and life and my absolute determination for this to be a great story, I think it's been a three years well spent. Although I had hoped to have finished this story a lot sooner, I think it's all part of the journey of life and perhaps one day I will miss feeling guilty about belated updates. On that note, I do want to get back to updating once a month. This year it'll be posted every 14th of the month. Don't you dare think this story is anywhere close to finished because there's still a lot more where this came from! Not only that, but my amazing friend and fellow college graduate, Caroline, has been my unofficial beta reader for the past two chapters and she's done a great job of really tidying up my work and making it flawless. Other than that, a thousand thanks to all of you who have been reading, reviewing, and supporting this piece for as long as you have! It's been a great three years but I'm hoping that it'll be done before next year's Valentine's Day. Until then, enjoy your holiday and see you next month!