"Heart still beating but it's not working,

It's like a hundred thousand voices that just can't sing.

I reached out trying to love but I feel nothing.

Oh, my heart is numb."

Feel Again by OneRepublic

XXXII

She woke up from her body's natural need to be awake when the sun was up, the dryness of her face from where the tears had soaked her skin, and a single arm draped across her chest. Kisara opened her eyes to find her back pressed against Seto's chest, feeling every breath that entered and escaped his body. She took a couple moments to assess where she was and why she was there.

She slowly raised her hand to her eyes and rubbed them. When finished, she turned her head and gazed at the sleeping man laying beside her. She hadn't remembered falling asleep in Seto's arms and yet here he was, lost in another world. For a brief moment, Kisara wondered where it was that Seto's dreams took him and how it was that after almost a year of dating, she had never seen him sleep.

Seto, much like Kisara, had strange, built-in sleeping habits that allowed for very little rest. While she was unable to sleep past 4am, Seto was unable to sleep for more than two or three hours at a time. Neither of them had ever explained to one another why it was that they tended to maintain such irrational sleeping patterns but perhaps neither of them had an explanation either. But, at least for a night, they had broken their habits and slept well.

The soft ticking of Seto's wristwatch drew Kisara's attention in the silence of the room. Kisara was at the Kaiba Mansion, she had been crying the night before, and today was Seto's birthday. Her body shifted up realizing this all at once, waking the birthday boy. Kisara was greeted by two blue eyes staring back at her, engulfing her with warmth.

"Good morning," Seto murmured, before stretching his head to give Kisara a light kiss on the cheek. He then looked around and noticed that the room they were residing in was the guest room and not Kisara's dorm, the place where Seto had become used to seeing her face the first moment he woke up. "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep in your room last night." Kisara turned around so that she was lying on her side, facing Seto.

"You don't have to be sorry. I don't mind." Kisara placed her hand on Seto's cheek as she gazed at him. She traced her hand along the side of his cheek, feeling the roughness of the stubble on his face. Seto always had this way of looking dapper, as if he naturally woke up looking as good as he did in front of the cameras. But feeling his stubble made her realize just how close she and Seto had become. For a brief moment, she pondered whether she was the first and only person who had ever gotten so close to him that she was able to feel his facial hair.

"I love this," Seto said, after their five minute span of silence.

"What do you mean?" Kisara asked, her hands still entranced by the roughness of Seto's face. She continued to stroke Seto's cheek, mesmerized by both the touch and the way Seto was staring at her. His eyes were locked onto hers, making her believe he never wanted to look away.

"Waking up with you. I don't know why, but for some reason I'm able to sleep when you're laying beside me. It's something I noticed a while ago when I started sleeping over at your dorm," Seto continued. "I'm not much of a sleeper, but when I'm with you… I don't know. I feel like I'm home."

Suddenly, Kisara's lips were met with Seto's. As they kissed, she couldn't help but wonder if Seto made her feel the same way… if he was like home to her. Sure, she could acknowledge that Japan had become a second home to her after living there for a year, but was there really anything that Seto did that made her feel at home? She didn't think there was but then again, being in his arms was where she felt safest, where she felt at peace. Perhaps it was her fear of loving someone who truly loved her back that kept her from knowing the difference.

Kisara cut the kiss short by pulling away.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Seto asked.

"For last night. I spent most of it crying… I'm not sure where it came from. All you wanted to do was ask questions, not stay up all night comforting me."

Seto placed his hand on Kisara's shoulder.

"You don't have to apologize. If anything, I should be apologizing to you. I didn't mean to upset you and you never have to feel bad about getting upset," Seto reassured her. "You've been through a lot and I appreciate you opening up to me about it. I want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything… just like how I feel about talking to you." Kisara was baffled. Six months ago, neither of them would've ever come close to a conversation like this, where they felt like they could be open and honest with each other. It was strange how the simple notion of love seemed to change the playing field completely. Before she could respond, the bedroom door opened and they were greeted by Mokuba.

"There you are, Nii-sama! I've been looking all over for you," Mokuba exclaimed, leaping onto the bed. He quickly climbed up from the foot of the bed and sat between the two love birds. "I had to come say 'Happy birthday!' to the best big brother in the whole wide world the minute I woke up." Mokuba ruffled Seto's hair furiously, giggling at their roles being reversed. Seto laughed and then sat up along with Kisara.

"Sorry, kiddo. I know I'm usually up earlier with breakfast ready but I somehow slept in instead. If you're hungry, I can cook breakfast now." Seto was about to get off the bed but was stopped by Mokuba's quizzical look.

"Hold on, did you just say you slept in?" Seto stared back at him, even more confused than Mokuba.

"Yeah…? Why?"

"Are you joking right now? You, who never sleeps, were able to sleep in?" Mokuba twisted around to look at Kisara next. "Did you have something to do with this?" Kisara raised her eyebrows. Mokuba's tone was so serious it almost sounded as if he were accusing her of doing something wrong. She tried not to think of it that way; knowing Mokuba, that probably wasn't his intention.

"According to your brother, I did," Kisara said. "Seto says I help him sleep. I don't believe him, but I did think it was a cute thing to say." A laugh followed the statement, trying to make light of the intimate conversation she and Seto had earlier. She didn't really feel comfortable acknowledging how intense their conversation was—nor did she feel comfortable acknowledging how serious Seto was about her. It scared her to think of how much he cared for her.

"I believe him," Mokuba stated. "Nii-sama has a hard time sleeping. He has for as long as I've known him and there's never once been a day where he's slept in. If having you around makes Seto sleep better, maybe you should just move in! You don't have anywhere else to live, right? So why not?" Kisara's eyes widened. Her chest suddenly tighten and her breath stopped for a moment. The mere thought of moving in with Seto horrified her, but she didn't want Mokuba to know that.

"I should probably go brush my teeth," Kisara responded, getting up from the bed and walking into the bathroom. Mokuba turned to Seto, looking for answers.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No… but you do realize you have to ask me before you invite people to live in our house, right? After all, I'm the big brother and what I say goes." Seto said, "And I say we should get started on making breakfast."

"Nii-sama, is it time to open your presents yet?" Mokuba asked, a sparkle of wonder in his eyes. The three of them had just finished dinner and the younger Kaiba was eager to celebrate Seto's birthday. Hours had passed since that morning's conversation and little had occurred since. Seto expressed a desire early on not to make a big deal about his birthday. He only felt the need to acknowledge the day of his birth because his brother cared about it. Not that Kisara needed much convincing of this… she was just happy that, unlike his birthday last year, Seto actually seemed to be enjoying himself.

"Alright, alright. We can open presents now. I'll be down here while you get it." Mokuba's face immediately lit up right before he jumped to his feet.

"Okay! Be right back!" Mokuba shouted, bounding up the stairs and disappearing down the hall. Seto turned to Kisara and saw that she had produced a large envelope addressed to him. He looked more bewildered than pleased to see that Kisara had a gift for him.

"That's… not a gift, is it?" Seto asked, seeming as though he didn't know what to say, "You really didn't have to get me anything; I know money's tight on your end. Having you here is enough." Kisara shook her head and took the seat across from him at the table. She slid the envelope over to his hands.

"No money was spent, only time and effort. I know it's not much and I know you're not the type that likes a lot of artsy stuff, but it was what I could do. I hope you like it." Seto took the envelope into his hands and looked back up at Kisara.

"I'm sure I'll love it, whatever it may be."

"Hey, you guys didn't start without me, did you?" Mokuba ran back into the dining room, a wrapped gift of his own in hand. Seto shook his head.

"Of course not. Take a seat." Mokuba took the seat next to Seto and placed his gift on the table. "Do you guys have a preference for which one I open?" Mokuba pointed to the envelope in Seto's hands.

"I want you to open Kisara's gift first!" Seto looked to Kisara to make note of her preference.

"I don't mind either way." Seto then took up the envelope and began to open it with careful precision. Kisara waited patiently as he pulled out a large piece of paper. Mokuba scooted over to the side to get a glimpse at what was printed on it while Kisara's eyes were fixed on Seto's. She watched his every movement; the delicate fingers as they held up the paper, the dilation of his pupils, and the smile that crept onto his face.

"Wow! Did you draw this, Kisara?" Mokuba asked as Seto set down the paper and revealed an elaborate drawing of the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. The illustration had been done with pencil first, but then traced over with pen. The dragon appeared as though it were flying through the sky with each indentation on its body included. There was no color on the paper, save for the dark blue that had been colored in for the eyes. The shade of blue was identical to that of Seto's eyes.

"I did. Do you like it?" Kisara asked. "I'm not much of an artist and I know you're not much of an art collector, but I know how much that card means to you so I figured, if you ever were an art person, this is what you would want to have."

"I love it," Seto said. "I can tell you really took your time on this and it shows. The detail is outstanding." As happy as Kisara was to hear the compliment, she was more relieved that it made for an adequate gift. Seto was a hard man to read, but there were a few things she knew for sure: his love for his brother, his love for his company, and his love for the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Mokuba began bouncing up and down.

"My turn! My turn! My turn!" Seto delicately placed Kisara's drawing down before picking up the wrapped gift Mokuba had placed in front of him. With the same precision, he began stripping the gift of its wrapping paper. A small photo album was what laid inside. Seto turned to Mokuba with curiosity.

"A photo album?" Mokuba nodded.

"Look inside." Seto opened it and was dumbstruck by what he saw inside. He held the photo album closer to his face to observe the photo below.

"How did you…?" Seto turned to Mokuba, not sure what to say. Kisara remained silent, unsure whether she was allowed to ask what was going on or not. From where she was seated, she couldn't see what the photo revealed.

"Now, Nii-sama… I don't want you to be angry but I did contact our uncle to get a hold of these photos." Seto's face contorted with some sort of mix of perplexity and anger as Mokuba continued, "I know you don't want me talking to them but I swear it was only for this one time. I just wanted to do something special for you and I couldn't find these pictures anywhere else." Seto put the photo album down and sighed. He needed a couple seconds to assess how he would respond. Kisara took the opportunity to snag the photo album and see what was inside.

The first picture shown was of a young, five year old Seto… standing in a hospital room. Beside him was a man who looked almost identical to Seto, only thirty years older. His hand was placed on Seto's shoulder, his face pointed down. In Seto's arms was a newly born Mokuba, wrapped in a towel and screaming at the top of his lungs. On the other side of Seto was a hospital bed containing a woman who was also staring gingerly at the infant. Mokuba was clearly the beholder of everyone's attention in the photo, but Kisara couldn't help but stare at Seto's mother.

Her messy, black hair nearly covered the entire pillow that rested beneath her head while her body lay limp on the bed that contained her. The color of her skin didn't help the way she looked either, as it was a much paler shade than everyone else's. It was her eyes, however, that truly caught Kisara's attention. There was a twinkle in them, although small, that seemed to bring life to the photo. The way she was looking at her sons showed the limitless love she felt for them, even in her weakened state.

"My mother began experiencing complications minutes after that photo was taken," Seto stated coolly, drawing Kisara's eyes away from the photo in her hands, "She died within the hour. That remains to be the only photo ever taken of my whole family." Kisara closed the photo album out of respect.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. What happened, happened. It's no one's fault that it did." His voice was hard and detached… almost like Seto didn't feel anything describing his mother's last moments of life. He also seemed distracted, focused on something else. Seto turned back to Mokuba, ready to address the real issue he had, while Mokuba snatched the photo album up from the table. He opened it up and began flipping through the pages.

"There are more photos in here, too. Pictures of us when we were kids… and some from when you were a baby, Nii-sama." Mokuba held up the photo album to Seto, hoping to lighten the mood. The air had become thick with tension and Mokuba was sure he knew why. Seto took up the photo album and closed it, placing it onto the table once more.

"You know my feelings about our family. Why would you contact them without my permission, without even telling me?"

"I wanted to surprise you with a good gift this year and I knew you wouldn't let me do it if I told you." With each word Mokuba said, Seto became angrier. Not so much in how he looked, but in his eyes. Seto's glare was cutting razors into Mokuba's soul. On a much deeper level, what Mokuba had done was an act of betrayal, and the boy became frightened the more furious Seto got. "I'm sorry, Nii-sama. I didn't mean to upset you. I made it clear to our uncle that I would never speak to him again. I just did it this one time, promise!"

Seto was quick to open his mouth to reply, but no words came out. The words were there, but rationality swooped in and stopped him. All at once, a stern, cold look overshadowed his face. Within seconds, the energy in the room shifted and Seto looked like a different person altogether. He turned away from both Mokuba and Kisara.

"I've got to go," was Seto's retort. "There's work to be done. I'll be in my office if anyone needs me." With that, he left the room. Kisara was dumbfounded—she had never seen Seto dismiss Mokuba like that. It was only when she looked Mokuba's way, that he ran out of the room as well. To do what, she wasn't sure, but it was clear he was upset. Kisara didn't know what to make of what just happened but she wasn't about to involve herself without being asked.

Instead, she opted to sit at the empty table… waiting, watching, and wondering. The Kaiba Mansion remained unnaturally quiet until the late hours of nightfall. She neither saw nor spoke to either Kaiba brother before she went to bed. She figured it was probably better that way. Whatever they were going through, she couldn't help them. She only hoped that by morning, all would be resolved.

A/N: Hello fanfiction fans and friends! HiKari here with an update which is unfortunately nine days later than I promised in my last chapter. The reasoning? This chapter was difficult. There are some events in my story that have been in the works since before I even began putting this story on paper and there are others that come to me in the moment. This whole birthday weekend event is one of those that came to me in the moment. As a result, I haven't had as much time to plot out what I want to happen and how it ties into everything else I have planned. Apologies all around for that and I do plan on posting the next chapter on the 14th of next month, as I promised at the beginning of the year. Another thing I would like to say is thank you! My story broke 200 reviews shortly after the last chapter was posted and I've gotten a ton more follows and favorites since. I can't thank you guys enough, both new and old readers, for supporting me. It's been a delight to share my story with you and, in turn, receive your feedback. My only hope is that my story continues to get better and better with each chapter. So thanks again and see you guys in a month (for real this time)!