"Memories fade,

Like looking through a fogged mirror.

Decisions to decisions are made and not bought,

But I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot,

I guess not."

Kids by MGMT

XXXIII

What finally stopped Seto from his never ending typing was a bright, orange light that seeped through the shades, blinding him and forcing him to break his focus from the screen. Seto flinched from the glaring sunrise and looked down at his watch. He couldn't believe that it was already 7:30am. The last time he had looked away from his computer or even talked to another person was twelve hours earlier, when he was celebrating his birthday.

Seto rubbed his temples, trying to distract himself from the dryness in his eyes and the grueling headache that was pounding in his head. He had thrown himself so deeply into his work for so long that he had barely even noticed the headache was there in the first place. He began to wonder how long his head had been pounding like this when he heard knocking on his office door.

Seto twisted his chair around to see who it was that wished to enter his fortress.

"Hello?" The door creaked open and revealed Kisara standing on the other side.

"Hey Seto." Seto opened his mouth but was faced with the dilemma of not knowing what to say. Was he expected to explain himself? Apologize for his behavior? Tell her to kindly excuse herself from the room because he hadn't slept in over 24 hours? He didn't know what to do or what to say, but thankfully Kisara was the one to speak up before he felt too pressured to say anything at all. "I just thought you should know there's someone waiting outside here for you." Kisara's eyes glanced over to the other side of the cracked door.

Out of curiosity, Seto rose from his seat and walked over to the doorway. Although he nearly fell over at first, considering his legs had fallen asleep without his knowledge, Seto was able to catch himself before Kisara noticed his lack of balance. He got up and slowly walked over to see what it was that her eyes were locked onto so intensely. When he reached the doorway, he found Mokuba sleeping, curled up and leaning against the wall.

"How long has he been lying here?" Seto whispered, his eyes never leaving Mokuba. The mere sight of his brother like this made his insides twist and turn with guilt. He knew this had everything to do with what had happened the night before. Seto couldn't imagine how awful he must've made Mokuba feel. He assumed Mokuba had fallen asleep waiting for him to leave the room with the hope of talking things out.

"I'm not sure. I've been up for a while packing up my stuff, but I only just now left my room to come find you. That's when I saw Mokuba here." Seto reached down and gently scooped up his brother from the ground. When he did, the boy stirred for just a moment, but then went limp again once in his brother's arms. He buried his face into Seto's chest, letting his body be carried down the hall to his room.

"Nii-sama," Mokuba muttered once he heard the opening of his bedroom door, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Mokuba," Seto said, after gingerly placing the boy in his bed and pulling the covers over him. Seto pushed away the bangs in Mokuba's face before giving him a kiss on the forehead. Mokuba rolled onto his side when he felt Seto pull away, curling up into the same ball he was in before and letting his head sink into the pillow. His ears followed Seto's every footstep as they headed towards the door.

"Nii-sama…" Mokuba murmured, just before Seto was out of the room, "I love you." Seto's hand froze on the knob and his head turned back to look at his little brother.

"I love you, too." Seto slowly closed the door until he heard a soft click. When he did, he turned around and saw Kisara standing at the end of the hall. Seto shrugged and motioned for Kisara to follow him down the steps that led to the kitchen. Kisara obliged, and followed the same path to the kitchen without any questions. Once in the kitchen, she saw Seto turn on the coffee machine.

"Coffee?" Kisara nodded. Seto placed both his hands on the counter and let his head hang for a moment. Kisara remained silent, continuing to watch him. She had seen him exhausted and running on very little sleep before, but never like this. He seemed completely worn down in a way that wasn't only physical. As if there were something internally bothering him, something he was still trying to figure out in his head.

Kisara was suddenly snapped out of her ponderings when Seto turned off the coffee maker.

"Let's go somewhere to get coffee. I need to get out of this house for a bit." Kisara didn't question Seto. She didn't want to upset or disturb him in any way. Instead, the only question she asked was where he wanted to go and if they were going to the train station afterwards.

Every minute of silence that went by between them forced Kisara to have another sip of her coffee. Seto sat across from her, but for the past fifteen minutes, he hadn't said a word outside of, "Is black okay?" Black coffee wasn't her preference, but she didn't feel comfortable saying anything other than 'yes' when Seto asked. She had a feeling the way he was acting and his exhaustion was a direct result of last night which she didn't feel she was at liberty to ask about. It was between him and his brother. What right did Kisara have to inquire?

Seto had decided to kill two birds with one stone by going to the train station early and having coffee there. Kisara was thankful for the setting because at least there was noise surrounding her to distract from the silence between them. The hustle and bustle of the Domino City train station was enough to calm her down. Watching people rush all around made her feel as though she could pretend, for just a moment, that their relationship wasn't as serious as it had become. A year ago on Seto's birthday, Kisara was nothing more than his assistant. Twenty-four hours ago, she saw the last picture taken of Seto's family before his mother died.

No, Kisara didn't feel she was at liberty to ask about Seto's issues with his brother. She didn't even feel it was right to have witnessed what had happened last night at all. She was seeing a side of him that no one in the world had claimed to have ever seen, save for his brother, and yet here she was, having coffee with him the day after. The past weekend made it clear that their relationship had moved to a more intense level, but it was one she felt she wasn't ready for; one she thought she didn't deserve to be on with him.

"The weather is nice out today, isn't it?" Seto directed his attention away from the window and over to her. They had been sitting across from each other for a little over fifteen minutes by then. She thought maybe breaking the silence would make him feel better. Seto sighed, placing his coffee down on the table between them before their eyes met again.

"It appears as though I'm the one who must apologize this time," Seto began, "I'm not one who is fond of apologies but I make them when they're due. My behavior last night was unacceptable and I'm sorry you had to witness it." Kisara straightened in her seat. That was… unexpected. Then again, Seto was always more fond of shooting the elephant in the room than tip toeing around it.

"It's okay, although I'm not sure I'm the one you should be apologizing to. Mokuba seemed to take it the hardest," Kisara replied and she noted the way Seto shifted in his seat when Mokuba's name was mentioned. He crossed his arms and turned back towards the window, staring at the vast world that remained outside—separate from the emotions going on within himself. Kisara continued, "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No, I want to talk about it," Seto said, turning back once more, determination in his voice, "Mokuba is the reason why I left so abruptly last night. I was worried that my frustration with the situation would be misplaced onto him if I stuck around too long. I'm sure he interpreted it the other way around and I will apologize to him later for it."

"Don't worry, he'll forgive you," Kisara assured him, flashing a quick smile his way. The smile was neither received nor reciprocated on Seto's end. His mind was too distracted.

"I'm sure he will, but that's not what I'm worried about."

"Well, what are you worried about?" Seto looked up. A long pause disrupted their conversation. Then he took a deep breath.

"When I disowned my family after our parents died, I told myself and Mokuba that it was for the best. After being sent to the orphanage, I promised my brother a new life for him and to forget there was a family outside of ourselves. I told him that disowning our family would make it easier for us to achieve that dream of having a new life.

"And that was true… mostly. The family members who were only interested in my parents' inheritance didn't deserve to be in our lives… but not all of them fell into that category. The truth is, there were some who wanted to take care of us but I refused. I felt as though cutting off my family would help me distance myself from the death of our parents."

"But you were so young, though," Kisara said, leaning forward, "How did you know that was the right decision? Weren't you scared?"

"I was young, yes, but fear never came into the equation," Seto replied, a stern look on his face, "There was no time for it. Mokuba was even younger than I and I felt it was my responsibility to take care of him. I knew the right decision was to separate from the people that only served as reminders of what we had lost."

"And you didn't want their sympathy," Kisara stated. "You thought if you were adopted by a family that didn't know you or your story, that you would be taken seriously. You wanted to start over, but you couldn't do that with a family that knew your past, right?"

"That's correct. I was determined to give my brother the life he deserved and I knew the only way to do that was by never looking back. That's why I embrace the name Kaiba so much. Despite my complete and utter hatred for my step father, the day Gozaburo adopted us became the first day of our new life—the promise I made to Mokuba.

"I had no desire to look back. I loved my parents, but my love for them will always remain just that… in the past. The fact of the matter is that my parents died, and as tragic as it was, there's absolutely nothing I could do to change that situation except move forward and make something of myself. What came with that mindset was an expectation that Mokuba would do the same."

"You think Mokuba feels differently?"

"That's the problem, I don't know. I've never once regretted cutting my family out of my life but I've never asked whether Mokuba feels the same way. I can't help but worry he thinks I've taken him away from having a family and perhaps I have. But I couldn't…" Seto looked away and something changed in his demeanor. Suddenly he seemed nervous, unsure whether to continue telling his story. It was as if all the puzzle pieces of his life fit together perfectly except for one. "I couldn't risk it."

"Risk what?" When their eyes made contact again, Kisara saw a side of Seto she had never seen before. With a slight tremble on his lips and a furrow of his brow, the ice surrounding his heart had melted. She saw a scared, ten year old boy—one that Seto had assumed had long since died the same day his last parent was buried. Yet, there he was, a ten year old Seto, full of fear he had never allowed himself to feel until this very moment. A fear that came from doubting his own decision.

"Risk having Mokuba see anyone else as his family. To me, Mokuba is the only family I've ever needed or wanted, and I don't know if he feels the same. I've tried my hardest to be the best parent and sibling to him, but I've never known if it was enough. I've never known if I was enough." Kisara had never seen weakness in Seto. Everything that went into making Seto the man he was made him seem absolutely indestructible, except when it came to his younger brother. Not knowing whether he had given his brother what he had promised to give instead of taking away the one thing he wanted made Seto unsure of himself. It broke her heart to see Seto like this, but it also made her speechless. She didn't know what to say but she knew she had to try.

"I'm sorry that you feel this way," Kisara began, reaching her hand over and placing it on his. "But I've never known you to be a man that lives with regret. I can't speak for Mokuba and his feelings, but I can say this: he will always love you. And he knows that every decision you've made has been a result of your love for him. Whether the decisions were right or wrong won't change how that boy looks at you; like you're the best person he's ever known."

When their eyes met a final time, Seto saw exactly what Kisara meant. The way she was looking at him was identical to the way Mokuba looked up to him; with admiration, with affirmation, and with affection. She made him feel as though, even the possibility of having made a mistake, nothing could change how he was seen in both her and Mokuba's eyes. For the first time in their relationship, Seto really believed Kisara was truly in love with him.

"All aboard the next train leaving for Hiroshima," rang a voice overhead. Kisara jumped to her feet. She had been so distracted by their conversation that she had completely forgotten what time it was. She gathered up her things in her hand as Seto rose to his feet and checked to make sure she had everything.

"Sorry to end this so abruptly but we can talk more when I'm back on campus," Kisara said, rushing over and kissing Seto on the cheek. "My only other suggestion would be to just talk to Mokuba. I'm sure you'll get the answer you need to hear. Goodbye!" With that, she ran off just as Seto's arms had opened to give her a hug. He wasn't too upset, though—it was Kisara's style; to always run off in a hurry. He waited until she exited onto the platform and soon onto the train before returning to his car. Kisara was right—all he needed to do was ask to get the answer he needed.

Upon Seto's return, he was surprised to find Mokuba seated at the table, eating cereal. Mokuba looked up from the bowl below when Seto entered the dining room, placing his spoon down. "I thought you were going to be asleep for a bit longer. Had I known, I would've come back sooner," Seto said, setting the car keys down on the table. Mokuba's eyes were unmoved from Seto's face.

"Where's Kisara?"

"I just came back from dropping her off at the train station. She's on her way home… or, well, her dorm." Mokuba's face lightened a bit with a small smile. That microsecond of approval made Seto feel better. His brother's smile always had that effect on him.

"Are you really not going to ask her to move in with us?" Seto took a seat across from Mokuba, folding his hands on the table.

"I'm not ready for that yet. We haven't even been dating for a year so I think we need a little more time before that happens." Seto smirked, "Besides, do you really want a girl living with us? It's only ever been you and me living here… and occasionally Isono. Having a girl here won't be as fun as you think."

"I don't think it'll be fun, I just think… it'll be less lonely." Mokuba shrugged, "We live in this big house by ourselves and the only time it doesn't feel empty is when Kisara is here. It feels like a real home when she's around." Seto's smirk immediately disappeared. Guilt replaced his initial playfulness.

"I know… and for that I apologize, in addition to what happened last night." Mokuba rose from the table, placing his hand on his chest in an apologetic fashion.

"You don't have to apologize, I do. I shouldn't have talked to our uncle without telling you."

"No, it was all my fault in the first place. I made a decision years ago to cut our family out of our lives. I never asked you what you wanted or how you felt because I wanted to protect you. I thought it was the right decision but in reality, it shouldn't have been my decision to make." Mokuba walked over to Seto's side and placed a hand on his shoulder. Seto looked up to meet his brother's gaze.

"It's okay, Nii-sama. You're all the family I've ever needed. I didn't reach out to our uncle because I wanted to reconnect with him, it was only to get this." Mokuba pulled out the photo album and placed it onto the table in front of Seto. "You never talk about Mom and Dad, and you don't have any pictures of them. You act as if they don't exist when you knew them better than I ever will." Seto remained completely still as he watched Mokuba open the photo album, revealing the pictures of the past he had refused to look at the night before.

"I know you don't do it on purpose and you see no reason to dwell on the past, but…" Mokuba paused. Seto didn't know whether it was because he was trying to find the right words to say or whether he already knew what he wanted to say, he just didn't want to hurt Seto by saying them. "I just don't want to forget, you know? They're our parents and they didn't live for very long in our lives, but we wouldn't be here without them."

A droplet fell onto the table and Seto looked up. Tears were streaming down Mokuba's face. It had been years since the last time Seto had seen Mokuba cry, but his reaction was the same as it had always been. Seto brought Mokuba into his arms and held him. Even after all of these years, he thought there weren't any more tears left to cry. Seeing Mokuba like this proved him wrong and also made him realize maybe there wouldn't be a day where their parents' death wouldn't bring tears. Maybe it was something Mokuba would never get over and maybe one day, Seto would realize that was okay. For now, he held his brother in his arms and promised him it would be alright.

One day, it would be okay.

A/N: It's a bird, it's a plane, it's an early update! What?! But it's not possible! Nobody's ever been able to summon him! Okay, I'll stop with the references. As you can see, I'm pretty excited to get this update to you not on time but, in fact, earlier than I promise. Yay! I have to thank my lovely friend, Caroline, whom has been beta reading for the last three chapters or so and has been giving me great feedback. Not sure if anyone has noticed, but I've definitely noticed an improvement in my writing, and that's really all thanks to Caroline—widening my mind and telling me like it is. She's awesome; both as a person and a writer! Someday you guys should really read her stuff. Now, I know what you guys are all thinking: "Kari, if you got us this update early, does that mean we can finally start to expect updates to happen on time like you've been promising since January?" The truth is, I'm not sure… at least in terms of next month. In May, my Italian family is going to be staying with me for two weeks. The last time they were in the States was over ten years ago so I'm not sure how much time I'll really be able/wanting to dedicate to writing. That being said, I still plan on updating this story next month, I just wanted to let you guys know ahead of time that it'll probably be up closer to the end of the month than the middle like I've been striving for. Sorry! If you're looking for more accurate updates on when to expect the next chapter, feel free to check my Twitter account. When I'm not tweeting about silly things, I do post updates about my progress with the next chapter. Alright, I better end this note now before it gets any longer. As always, thanks for reading, reviewing, and being generally awesome! I'll talk to you guys (some time) next month!