"Helga?"
"Hey Phebes!"
"Helga! You arrived in one piece?"
Helga laughed, she had kept Phoebe abreast of her every move over the past week, but she was still so worried. Projection, Helga figured. "Yes, Phebes, I'm all safe n' sound…"
"You'd think she didn't trust me or something." Arnold grumbled, jabbing Helga in the ribs between bits of Chinese food.
Phoebe giggled. "Tell Arnold I trust him just fine. It's the rest of the crazies on the road I was worried about." But before Helga could relay the message, she rushed on. "So, how is it? Is your room nice? Have you met your roommate? Are you all moved in?"
"Geeze Phebes, one at a time, huh?" She settled down onto the little sofa, nudging Arnold with her arm. "It seems fine. It doesn't smell bad or anything, which is a relief. It's tiny, but that's to be expected… um… I met my roommate. Her name's Sandy. Not quite sure what to think about her."
"She seemed nice." Arnold stuck his two cents in.
"Well, sure, she seemed nice. But she just kept going on and on and on about her boyfriend. It was kinda creepy."
"Well, yeah… that was a little odd.' Arnold agreed.
"And are you all moved in?"
"Yeah. There wasn't much to move, to be honest. We did Arnold's room already."
"And his roommates?"
Helga wanted to laugh. Phoebe was so cute, so polite. "Uh, we only met one. Some guy called Dan? He seemed pretty cool."
"Despite his Nickleback collection?"
"No one's perfect. I seem to recall someone having Justin Timberlake on their iPod."
"Really? I wouldn't have guessed that of him." Phoebe tittered as Arnold rolled his eyes.
"Yeah… I might have made him listen to sexyback for an entire afternoon."
"How did you manage that?"
"I was driving. Whoever's behind the wheel chooses the music. His rules… he began to regret that, I think."
"Was… was that all OK?"
"Arnold? Sure." She eyeballed him, grinning when he turned to her with a frown on his face.
"What about me?"
"She just wants to know if the trip was OK. I would call it a success. I didn't kill you!"
He stared at her, his fork halfway to his mouth. "You tried to. Remember the Wyoming incident?"
She stared back. "What are you, a sissy? That was hardly a fight."
The look on his face was incredulous. "You were screaming at me in public!"
"And you were being an asshole." She was glaring now.
"Uh, Helga?" Phoebe tried to interject, but she was ignored.
"An asshole? I was only gone for ten minutes!"
"Yeah! Ten minutes surrounded by the creepiest rednecks I've ever seen!"
"Helga?"
"I told you, I wouldn't have left you alone if they had been there when I left!"
"Don't forget I was asleep, with the doors unlocked! Who knows what those freaks could have…"
"HELGA!"
"Oh… yeah?"
"Uh, I think I might leave you and Arnold to talk things out…"
"What? This? Nah, it's fine. Ain't it, Shorty?" She elbowed him, grinning when he shook his head at her.
"I should go anyway. I'm meeting Gerald at seven."
Helga frowned for a second. "Time differences are weird. OK Phebes, text me when you're settled and I'll give you a call?"
"OK Helga."
"Seeya Phebes, love you."
"You too."
She sighed as the line clicked off and slid further into the couch, her thigh pressed up against Arnold's.
"Your food's getting cold." He used his chopsticks to edge her lunch across the coffee table. "You OK?"
She smiled, reaching over to grab her food and start shovelling it into her mouth. "Yeah, just knackered." Leaning back she regarded the small room they were sitting in. "It's not too bad in here, huh?"
He slouched down with her. "It's a damn sight nicer than mine. At least you get a room to yourself."
"Yeah. That's going to suck. Three guys in a room, all farting and burping and shit… gross." She stuck her tongue out, pretending to gag.
He groaned. "Don't rub it in. Not everyone's parents are loaded."
She shrugged, feeling suddenly a little bad. He was right, she'd managed to wrangle a good deal outta Bob. As long as she didn't rack up massive bills, she could use one of his credit cards, she was lucky. Arnold's family was as broke as ever, not that she cared, but she knew he got shy about it sometimes. "It'll be fine. Heaps of people live in those dorms… it can't be that bad, or no one would do it." She patted his knee in a moment of sympathy. "Besides, you can always come over here and hang out. I have a feeling that I won't see much of Sandy."
He snorted. "Really? Now what makes you say that?"
"Oh, I think I just remember her mentioning something about her boyfriend's flat? That it's huge and flash, or something like that…"
"Hmmm, now that you mention it, that does sound familiar. Did she happen to say she would be staying with him at all?"
"Oh, she just mentioned it… in passing…"
"So, just once or twice?"
"Just once or twice…"
They paused, each biting their lips, eyes sparkling with mirth. "You… are such a bitch." Arnold sputtered eventually, his cheeks reddening.
She grinned. "You love it."
"You know what, Pacman… I kinda do. You may be a bad influence, but you're not boring."
"D-aw… Shortman! I'm all a-flutter!" She waved her free hand in front of her face, fanning away imaginary tears. "Not. Boring… I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!"
He rolled his eyes. "Such a tender moment." He shoved himself up from the sofa. "I should probably get back to my gross, smelly boys room."
"Aw man, you sure?" Helga pouted. "My laptop's charged now, we could watch something."
"Aren't you sick of me yet?" He shook his head at her.
"Never!" She crowed, flinging her arms up, rice falling from her fork. "Oops."
"I'll go back, unpack and shower and stuff… I'll text you later, see what you're up to. Cool?"
She exhaled dramatically. "Fine." She tried to sulk, stuck her bottom lip out, but he just laughed at her.
"Seeya later Pacman."
"Seeya, Shorty."
He let himself out, and she fell sideways onto the cushions, managing to keep her dinner upright.
"I hate unpacking." She declared to the empty room.
…
"So did you go for the usual alphabetical-by-author arrangement?" Helga had her phone jammed between her ear and her shoulder, and a bottle of nail polish balanced on the arm of the sofa, her feet up on the coffee table. "Or did you decide to go for a more avant garde organisational scheme?"
Phoebe's light laugh tittered from the other end of the line. "You won't believe this… but they are arranged by colour."
Helga let out a long whistle. "You're a bold kid, Phoebe… a booold kid." They snorted in laughter. "Speaking of Geraldo, how did he take your parting?"
Phoebe's hesitation told Helga everything she needed to know. "Not that great." She eventually murmured. "Helga, may I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?"
Helga's heart cramped at the fear in Phoebe's voice. "With Gerald?"
"Yes."
She closed her eyes to think about it, knowing that Phoebe appreciated honest, considered answers, rather than comforting platitudes. Eventually, she sighed. "I really don't know, Phebes. I just keep thinking about how I couldn't do it… but I'm not you. Long-distance relationships are notoriously difficult, but I think if anyone can pull it off, it would be you and Johanssen." She pressed her forehead against her knee, trying to find the right words… "You know he's always been nuts about you… I'm not gonna say it'll be easy, but I think it's worth a shot."
"Do you really think so?"
"Of course I do, you ninny."
There was a pause as Phoebe thought for a second. "And do you think you will be alright?" Her question was soft, searching. Helga gritted her teeth.
"You mean with Shortman?" She tried, quite successfully she thought, to keep the exasperation from her voice.
"Hmmm." Phoebe hummed in affirmation.
She struggled to smother an exasperated sigh. "Yeah, Phebes… it's all good, I promise."
"I don't mean to make you uncomfortable… I just know how you used to feel about him…"
"Yeah… I know. But it's just not like that anymore. I mean… sure, I can see that he's attractive n' all, you'd have to be crazy to not see that… but I'm not attracted to him, y'know?"
"What about him? to you?"
Helga couldn't help it, she laughed outright at that one. "Geeze Phebes, you've been spending too much time with Rhonda. Listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth… there is nothing like that between Arnold and me. There's no secret longing, no angst… you don't have to worry, OK?"
"OK." But she didn't sound convinced.
Helga rolled her eyes. "Anyway, do you start class tomorrow?"
They chatted away for another half hour, taking full advantage of Helga's free plan (courtesy of the Big Bob Cellular Emporium, of course), before they said their goodbyes.
A text had come through while she was talking to Phoebe, clicking into her inbox, she read:
Arnold – Would Ms Pataki care to grace me with her presence? I have a hankering for greasy takeaways and sugary, carbonated beverages. Please RSVP ASAP, as I am due to expire from famishment.
She was laughing as she tapped out her reply. He was such a dork when he was in the mood for it.
Helga – Dear Mr. Shortman. I would be charmed to accept your generous invitation. Unless I receive word to the contrary, I shall be waiting in front of my lodgings when the clock strikes five.
She shook her head as she pressed send. Yeah… she supposed she could see why phoebe was worried about her and Arnold. If she didn't know better, she'd think there was something between them too.