This is the Cirno News Network with a breaking news story! Recent reports of the darkness in the forest turned out to be misleading! We are so sorry to have played it up, but our resident workwolf recently turned up with her left hand missing after staving off a rather hungry young girl. After a rather colorful and well thought out speech, she passed out. We now have her up and resting. Again, please keep her in your thoughts.

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Leader of the Herd, Cautious and Tricky

What's that smell on the wind? Different than what normally floats on the air this late in the day. Part of it is youkai… I smell the scent of the hellfires on them. How many centuries… Has it been since before they were sealed down there that I bothered to travel so low beneath the earth?

Hrm… Perhaps it has been. But there is something else aside from the embers and char… Metal days old from the foundry, along with some other sort of smell. Not good. Neither of those is natural to here, lest you are near Youkai Mountain. If the tengu are coming, then I should alert the others to be ready.

Wait a minute… That is not the pungent stench of youkai steel, newly forged. That is something else. Something from the outside. Couple that with the smell of magic… Hrm. Is someone else accompanying the black-white? Or is this old nose so mistaken that I am unable to tell what is what anymore?

If I cannot trust my nose, I shall have to depend on my other senses. The other rabbits will be able to hold the line fine, should they need to. As for myself, I shall simply let good fortune carry me towards what I seek, and hopefully away from anything that wishes to harm me.

It seems like I was correct, though. There is quite a band of troops currently in the bamboo forest. Oddly enough, they do not seem too lost, either. Disturbing. They are not among any of those whom could be called residents. I may have to alert Master Yagokoro, just so that she has plenty of time so that she may prepare for their coming.

Wait a moment… There, in the middle of the four. That is no youkai… A human, all the way out here? It does not appear to be Fujiwara in disguise, so it does not fall into the purview of the lunarians. Indeed, that looks about right. Doesn't look too boyish, at the least, so it's not her playing up that aspect.

Well, I suppose it doesn't matter who it is, does it? If it's a human, it is my responsibility to ensure that they do not proceed far into the forest without due cause. They do not seem able enough to prevent me from doing such a thing. So, as long as I am careful… Perhaps I can be fortunate enough to have them fall into one of my traps.

…Although, it is ruined when you have someone constantly floating leading the way. That does ruin all pitfalls they could come across. Not to mention that sharpened bamboo has nearly nonexistent damage potential against hardened metal. Let's see here…

Oh. Hello, undergrounder. How did you… Ah, yes. One of your kind. I should have been more aware of what exactly was in front of myself. However… You probably weren't around for most of that, were you? Sideways out of reality, where the conscious mind cannot see…

Well, I would have noticed a weird girl wearing two hats, so might as well lead on. I have no business with you, after all. Merely the human that you are guarding.

I may, or I may not. It depends on what his answer is, and whether I must remove that human bodily, or if he is keen enough to not need such forcible interactions to remove the walking carcass from the bounds of this forest.

Don't test your luck, girl. You may be able to see the subconscious, but I have fortune on my side. You may be practically invisible in that state, but do you really want to test and see if your fortune will hold up? Let me see that human, and I won't have to.

Not half bad of a setup that you have here, human. An advanced screen that is practically invisible detecting all threats, two forward guards that are practically immune to the first line of traps that I have set up, and a rear guard… Well, I'm not sure why you have her as your rear guard. You are aware that she is trying to pick something from your possession and slide it into that sack of hers?

Heh, made you look. Normally, that'd be some trick that I would pull on somebody if they were so unaware of the forces at their back. You should not be so trusting… Or if you're not so trusting, you should instead make sure that they are under your eyes, instead of pattering along while she attempts to loot your purse for all the coins you have on you.

Oh, well, I suppose that not having any money would completely negate such a worry, but even then you should be more careful. I'm not here to lecture you, though. I'm here to make sure that you turn back and go the way you came.

Well, because it is my job to prevent you from approaching what lies deep in the forest. Specifically you, at least. Not those other youkai. They are not responsibility. However, since you're a human…

Although, I'm curious how human you could be. Your smell is off. I've smelled plenty, so the one you have on your flesh… That isn't the right smell. Makes me wonder how you could still have the smell of death upon you, when you are obviously still walking around on two legs as the living do.

Here I am becoming distracted again. I really do need to work on that, I do suppose. But now, I ask you to turn around and leave. Do not make me ask you twice, or I will have to do such a thing with my hands instead.

Oh? You actually have business with Eientei? Well, now… Isn't that interesting. You do not seem too unhealthy, so why would you be seeking out Master Yagokoro for her medicine? Even if you did have money, she wouldn't sell you anything that you did not absolutely need.

Hrm… A package to be delivered. Surprising. And whom might this package be from? This particular group is a bit… large, for what a simple messenger would require.

The Yakumos? Now that is amusing. Would Yukari really have sent a package along when she simply could have plopped it on the desk of Master Yagokoro, or on Kaguya's dresser. Or, for that matter, she could have plopped it down on Reisen's head. Now that would have been good for a set of laughs. However, I'm pretty sure that one of the creators of Gensokyo wouldn't have sent a human as a runner.

Well, in that case, perhaps I could see. If she is ill enough… Is this hopefully in exchange so that she may have the Brain of the Moon come and examine her? That would be rather ironic… But sadly, I do not think she would even stoop that low. Yukari may typically be kind, but that fox of hers is arrogant.

What would you call any creature that tries to eat someone that appears weaker than them, only to still believe they can when they are beaten down? I am thrice the age of that fox, human. So what if foxes it my kind? I am pretty sure that I can be her back if she went after me. I've already had to do that, once upon a time.

Trickster of a fox thought she could out do the White Hare of Inaba. Fool… Although, I do have to point out that she barely had received her second tail at the time. A kitsune that has not even met its second century would hardly be able to keep up with a rabbit that has passed its second millennium.

In other words, I don't trust you. So, you're not going to get passage into the grounds completely scot-free. Oh, I am sure that your companions could change the name of that game, but even if you've got one of the moon princesses with you, I don't care. It's my responsibility to keep you out, and keep you out I shall.

Trying to turn this into a game, eh? Well, considering that my kind could not stop all of you, and you would end up coming across those you seek anyways… Alright, fine. We'll do that. But we'll do it by my terms, and my terms alone. Let's see…

Fine. You need just answer three of my questions, and I will guide you through the forest. No questions asked. Trust me, you will need a guide if you want to go further on. The forest is well guarded past the perimeter defenses. Bamboo sticks may not do much to that hunk of metal you've floating behind me, but I'd like to see what a couple of well-placed explosives could do.

Oh, yes, you know there are rules. But those only happen when you're fighting fair. If you can't tell, the only fair fight is a fight that you lose. How else can a trickster rabbit and a trickster fox outwit each other?

Alright now, first question. Might as well tell me your name. Full name, and completely given. Do not try and fudge by only giving a partial answer. Oh, no reason in particular… I just need something in case I need to get Reisen to go and hunt you down. She may have that stick up her butt, but she has it there for a good reason. Plus, she can beat people up with that stick when she's in the mood, so all the better for it!

Thank you. Interesting name that you have. Doesn't sound like you get to use it much. Pray tell, I wonder who knows your name other than those here? Perhaps the other satori, if you've visited. Makes one wonder what would happen if you anger her…

Very well, if you so insist. The second question… Now that one is a rather important one. How about this, strange human. Tell me what is your quest. What do you intend to do once you pass by me, if you so happen to achieve such a thing? What could you hope to accomplish by doing that?

Heh, not quite the answer I was expecting. But sure, go ahead and list them out. No, there are no ghosts that currently inhabit the manor, no matter what you may call them. You will not find any by exploring the house of Kaguya.

Other than that… There are no dolls that you will find on the premises. We have not had any of them visit in quite a while. I wonder if the dealmaker is busy with some project or the other, but that is not up to me to worry about. If she needs help, she would seek out those who may.

I would tell you to call someone who cares, but there aren't many that have phones around here. I'm not sure how many of them would be willing to talk to you, or if you would be willing to reciprocate the call.

If those are all… Hrm. You don't seem to be lying, human. Then again, I know of plenty that have deceit in their eyes. That's a problem that burdened the oni so. They assume that everyone is honest as them. Tell me, how should one react when those troublesome horned beasts start thinking like your kind. Pray that you never meet one in a foul mood. You will not like it, I guarantee.

As to the third question… The first two were much too easy. Now, try and answer me this. How many casks of sake does it take to get a cat and a sparrow drunk enough to knock them out?

Well, it doesn't really matter whether or not the sparrow was in a larger form— Wait a moment. Don't tell me… Alright, that shouldn't count, since you're getting help from someone else, but I'll let it slide. …How can she do those calculations without a calculator or an abacus?

…That is… Correct. Dammit, how can you pull that off? No one should have known that answer… Fine, a deal's a deal, so I'll show you away. Come along.

…Just because I'm guiding you, don't expect me to be talkative. Especially after you gypped me like that. Like I said, I don't care… I'll let Eiren sort you out. She could certainly kick all of your butts back out of the forest if you go and try anything funny.

Oh, and don't step right there, unless you enjoy having your foot ripped from you body. Reisen does love her mines.

It is strange not to be recognized for what I am, especially as we are speaking to one of her servants. I suppose I should be thankful that this form hides me from cursory examination. It is somewhat tiring being treated as a freak or abomination, but that is the penance I must bear.

I wonder what could make this rabbit so paranoid, though. She is not one of Luna, but of Earth. So, why would she share the characteristics that many had once upon the time?

That… That master of hers. The one she claimed was Yagokoro. Could she mean Eiren that I knew once upon a time? Why am I even asking myself this? The odds of another with that name, and being referred to the brain of the moon… I don't even have to hazard a guess as to how low the odds are.

I wonder if things would have changed if I had been a better pupil. Yorihime and Toyohime both listened well to her words, and became amazingly decent people for their effort. Not that any of my kind's actions could be held well, in light of what the Yama showed me with the cleansing fire.

The bigger question, though… Why would she leave Luna, and descend to this Earth? She held little contempt for it, but she held no fondness at the same time. What could drive her so far...

A/N Another short one, as frankly Tewi is quite sore after losing, and doesn't want to talk. Here I'm making it a point not to stray far from canon, if at all. I find Eientei difficult, so we'll see how it goes.

And looking back, I've noticed that some of the longer author's notes are quite the eyesores. So, I'll try to keep them short, unless there are any objections.

Mr. Muss, so sorry for not replying last time. But yes, this is one of those. Sadly, I do not think that an escort quest would quite work, as we are the ones being escorted everywhere. And that is typically what happens, yes.

}\ Playback Log; Section 53 specified. Fast-forwarding until transitory intermission between this Section and the following Section.

}} Ancient rabbit (edit: rabbit in question is Tewi Inaba [Classification: Sore Loser]) met seems quite put out upon being tricked, and has been a rather inadequate guide. Upon final count, she failed to mention one hundred and thirty-seven mines, fourteen separate arrow slits, three dozen tiger traps, two score spears, and a rather ill-tempered partridge. One should expect further retribution if not careful in the future.

}} Will discuss with resident satori and vampire on how to strike back at nearest opportunity.

}} Further playback on request. Quitting out…

}\ Session ended