This is the Cirno News Network with a breaking news story! Just recently a human has been reported missing from the village. The man himself seems to not live within the village, but instead maintains a separate residence in the middle of his rice patties. According to Keine Kamishirasawa, the doors to the home were not forced, nor was there any damage that would suggest violent entry. We here speculate if this is the result of some spectral youkai or spirit, or is it the effect of something more sinister?

Thank you, and enjoy the show. This has been THE STRONGEST! Now back to your irregularly scheduled fic.

Justified Hourai Professional

Oh dear, what a bother all this is becoming. It's not as bad as what it used to be on Luna itself, but it still is quite the bother to go through even this much hassle. Still, one must be thorough, as it would hardly be professional of myself to cease and desist with the procedures.

Still, some of these cases… I'm going to have to send yet another shipment up to Youkai Mountain soon enough. I might have to go up there myself. With the amount of painkillers that are being requested, I would assume that someone has become addicted to them. However… Healing salves, burn lotion, hand regrowth potion… The list is quite long.

I might just do that. As skilled as the tengu are in identifying their own anatomy, even their best healers cannot compare to my experience. But even the eldest among them is not even a tenth of my age. …Although, sometimes I do have to wonder where the years go. Was it so long ago that I first left this planet?

I suppose it was… It's amazing how it has changed. And even then… It is still the same. So much illness, so much death. All of the impurity that ruins the lives of those who are cursed to walk upon this planet. At least I can do a little bit to help those that still remain here, and still are able to die through no fault of their own.

Heh, so the rabbit is back? I haven't seen her like that since the last time Reisen spiked her water. She should know by now that there are those who will play her game if they so desire. It has been tough for the poor rabbit, but she is eventually learning. It is good that she is finally breaking out of that shell of hers.

Still, I cannot yet see who they are bringing… Too dark. Perhaps I should go and see. If Tewi is guiding strangers to Eientei, she must have some reason. Even if it is just because of losing some sort of bet… Hrm. Well, I suppose I should go out to meet them. Always good to be prepared, in case that there are those unfriendly. Just in case. Now, where did I put my bow…

Good. Well, it should be fine next to the door. Now, to wait for the… Oh, hello, Tewi. I see that you have lead some strangers here. Who might they be, and why would they… Oh. A human? Now that is odd enough. You do remember the terms of our deal, yes? You would prevent any humans from approaching Eientei, and I would in turn educate your fellow rabbits, so that they may allowed to function at a level higher than eating, breeding, and defecating.

Now that is amusing… Tricked by a human? What are you supposed to be, White Hare of Inaba? Some ancient youkai, wise and fearless, or some destitute oni that was swindled in its honesty? That is what I thought.

Still, what is it that may have a human seek out Eientei? Searching for some cure for an illness? I would hardly doubt, giving the others that are with you. Quite an interesting…

Interesting…

…Princess?

Kikuri? What are… What are you doing here? By the stars, what has happened to you? We had assumed you to be dead, with nothing left to be found. Nonsense, utter nonsense this is… Bah. This is amazing… What am I doing, keeping you on our doorstep. Come inside, come inside.

Tewi, go tell the rabbits that we have one of the other moon princesses on the premises. Yes, this is one of them. I did not expect you to recognize her, so do not lambast yourself for failing to do as such. Just go, and make sure that none cross the lines for a while. I have no desire to see another, as I feel that there are many questions that I need an answer to.

Yes, the others of you may come in as well. I have no will to dally and dither on the niceties, so please excuse myself if I do not compose myself as I should in front of one of the princesses.

Odd company that you are keeping, though, Kikuri. Especially a human. The girl that I knew so long ago would have been quite eager to thrust her spear through the gut of the one standing next to you. Although, the millennia do drag on, and one can change. Although… You changing in such a manner seems almost frightening.

But none of that. Those that are accompanying you may have a seat. I would offer you one as well, but I am afraid that you no longer need such a thing.

Now, let us cut to the chase. Kikuri, tell me what it is that is going on here? It has been well known for over a thousand years that you were killed on the Earth when you bit off more than you could chew. How is it that you are floating among those of us here, for better lack of a term? I hadn't thought such a thing would ever occur.

That is a dangerous path that you tread there, Kikuri. Escaping from hell? There are few that I would wish to anger, and the Yama is chief among them. The others that attend to the mundane parts of the world may have weakened, but if you were interred in hell within Gensokyo, the strongest of them will be watching for you.

Of course, but why have you not escaped before now? Were you merely gathering your strength for centuries upon centuries, and waiting until you could bust down the door? No, I have the sense that is not the case. Perhaps if you were Toyohime, I could believe such a thing. That, or Yorihime. But you… You were always dependent upon your martial prowess above all others.

Heh, interesting… But for a human? Interesting event that is happening there. Why would you also risk your very soul for that of a human? You never were fond of the despicable lower beings, after all.

I suppose the hellfires do have their usefulness. Putting every single torment in front of your eyes, forcing you to realize in how many ways that you have erred within your life. I can think of a great many that could deserve such a thing.

However, I never would have believed that they would have created a sense of empathy within you. Especially for one of that one's kind. So, you have sworn loyalty, so that you may assist that one? Is it out of pity that you do so, or is it out of kinship?

Still, this is a very disturbing turn of events. I do wonder how the moon will react the presence of one they had long ago ruled as good as dead. Oh yes, Kikuru, you have long been considered left for dead. You should not be so surprised. No matter how important you are, you were most assuredly lost to our word. Not that others did not take up your banner and declare you a martyr.

Indeed. Such an annoying bother. Do you remember the way it was back when you were around? Your views on humanity may have been vocal, but fortunately you were in the minority. Your actions were tolerated, but they were not actively encouraged.

After all, we knew that we were superior than the humans that remained on the earth. If you ever decided to listen during my lectures, instead of tooling around with your weapons while your sisters did their best, you would not need me to remind you that we are also human, at heart.

Forgotten that little fact, haven't you? But thousands of years ago, before we had the chance to flee this world of ugly impurity, we were the same as them. However, all the same, we saw an escape to what ails us here upon this world. Something that would ending the frailness of bones and weariness of muscles that age begat.

So we took our escape. Lord Tsukuyomi, who to this day still rules the moon with assistance from the royalty, One of my oldest pupils still around, I must say. He learned well, and his idea was true. That is why I followed and assisted him in the heavens, carving out our home among the rocky crags of the moon. And soon enough, that barren surface gave way to pure life.

Kikuri, the reason I am telling you this now is because you never bothered to listen then. You had no desire to heed my words once upon a time. Am I wrong to ask you to listen so that you may understand.

Good. I am glad to see that you have mellowed over the years. It is quite well to see that you are no longer the impertinent imbecile that you were once upon the time. Still, back to what I am telling you.

Now, back then, there were many who looked down upon the humans. Some of them in pity, and some of them in disgust. There was no reason for us to particularly care, though. After all… We are lunarians. We are much more advanced than they would ever become.

And yet, you were killed. Maybe not by a human, but in the name of humans all the same. How might you think that would affect the society on the moon so high? Yorihime was not swayed, as she was loyal to the moon and the moon alone. She did not, and still does not care for those that live on the planet. At the same time, her hate for them is practically nonexistent, especially compared to others in this day and age.

Toyohime, though… Toyohime is a problem. Are you aware of how much she looks up to you? She was torn between yourself and Yorihime ages ago. Which one should she aspire to be more like? Which one is the strongest, the bravest, and the most fearless? Now, she is older now, but I would not say that she has grown wiser.

She is the one that speaks in your name, Kikuri. She has taken up your mantle and spread it far and wide. Where before the majority were ambivalent, the majority now despise humanity and youkai alike.

Of course it is a stupid thing! You go out slaughtering their kind left and right, and how would you expect them to react? Princess, did you expect them to never send someone strong enough to take you out? Much less contort your body the way it has been shaped.

So, you managed to raise her ire. I am not surprised. That youkai that bound you to that shield is truly one of the few that seems to care for this land and its residents. Even though it pains me to say it, you deserved such a thing to happen to you. It seems to have taught you some humility, though. That alone is something that was sorely needed.

We may continue this discussion later. As for now, why is it that you have sought me out? Who told you of my existence? One of the other groups of youkai, or someone else?

Oh, now, that is ironic. Yakumo's servant herself? I wonder what your reaction was when you saw the face of the one who put you in that form, Kikuri. Oh? Well, she is an elder youkai. And sleep should ease any weakness that she is feeling. Perhaps I should drop by one time so as to make sure that it is not something more debilitating.

Hrm? What is it human? Oh, a package from Yakumo? Now, that is an interesting thing. Quite odd of her to send someone to deliver it by hand. Although it is not too unexpected. I quite imagine that she intended for Kikuri here to meet her fellow lunarians once again. It would hardly be good for her to remain unaware of them.

Too bad the princess is out. Otherwise, I might have you go ahead and meet her. It will be good of you to get along. As good a person as Kaguya is, she has yet to face some of her own demons. I hardly think I need to ask of you, but are you willing?

Good. It is well to see that blood still means something to someone.

Now, what is it, human? If that is all that you are here for… I see. Well, if you wish to discuss something with I, perhaps we should adjourn to another room? Although just by looking at you, I see nothing that appears to be wrong.

I am the Brain of the Moon, human. Have you not any knowledge of Eiren Yagokoro, the eldest of lunarians, and creator of the Hourai Elixer?

At least you are willing to admit ignorance. That alone is something that many, human, youkai and lunarian are unable to do. Still, I do not see what it is that you wish the opinion of myself on. I conduct myself merely as a pharmacist, as potions themselves can solve many ills that are brought about by mere life on this planet.

I suppose I have not answered that? If you were to hear it from someone else… Well, it does not matter, does it? You are here, and I can tell you the story myself. Since you are the one that has returned the princess to me… So I shall give you fair amount of time.

First, though… I would ask that you send one of yours to alert the rabbits to begin preparing. We do have a princess here, so we need to make sure that she is welcomed as it would be appropriate. I would prefer it not be that vampire, though. She has already pilfered quite a few trinkets during my earlier spiel to my former pupil. I do intend to have them returned to me, so she better not get any funny ideas.

I left the moon myself after I came to fetch my greatest failure. Do you remember Kaguya yourself, Kikuri? Of the Houraisan family, she was… Before she was exiled from Luna and sent to live down here on the Earth.

Her crime was the greatest, and I am ashamed to admit that I have my own small part in it. It may be shocking, Kikuri, but… I am only a lunation. I am no god, as Lord Tsukuyomi's sister is. She was able to talk myself into producing the Hourai Elixir… And she consumed it.

To be clear, human, the elixir is the pinnacle of science. A potion that begets eternal life, ridding the body of all impurities so that they may never again cloud the mind and snare the senses. It was the grandest of my achievements, and it is one that shall never be topped.

I tremble at the thought of what might top it, though. But do not be too jolly at the thought, human. When I say eternal, I do quite mean eternal. The potion removes the very concept of death from a body. One literally cannot die once the nectar of magic courses through their bodies.

It truly is a terrible thing. And in my haste to have it tested, my overeagerness… I allowed the Princess to take it. She became the purest of beings that will ever walk the surface of either of our homes. That alone was too much for the moon to stand. So, instead, she was cast onto Earth so that she may face her punishment.

Centuries later, they reversed their decision. The leaders, which did include your sisters, Kikuri, decided that her punishment was quite enough, and that she could finally return to the moon. However… That wasn't to be. Kaguya had fallen in love with this planet. Even I couldn't believe it myself.

As the creator of the potion, I was one of those that were sent. Even before I left, I knew that I would never return. I am not some sort of mad scientist that is willing to test on random people. I am a professional. I would never… I should have never done such a thing.

So, instead, I stayed. Together, the two of us found this land, so that we may live in peace and solitude in an eternal manor, powered by the magic of the princess. So, you may say that this is also my penance for failing to follow my own ethics.

And that is about all that I wish to tell you at the moment. One should not monologue to such excess that it bores those that are listening. First of which is that vampire who is eying the vase on the mantel. Is she unable to keep her hands from touching that which she desires?

Heh, more honesty, and from a youkai. Perhaps Kikuri found the lot of you for a reason. At the very least, I would like to think that such a thing is not merely the result of luck, as much as that would irk that rabbit out there. Oh, the short one, not the other. Reisen wouldn't take such a startling thing well.

But that is what stress can do to a girl… Being Toyohime's pet would do that to anyone. Having to live through the intrigue that the moon is currently in…

Well, as this directly relates to you, I can share a little more. Luna is slowly approaching the warpath, and her feet are itching to tread upon it. There is no reason besides that which has already happened. The moon has been invaded, the sister of the ruler has not only been killed, but devoured and her power stolen from her.

These certainly are interesting times which we live in. I fear that the moon may try to attempt something terrible, and instead of greater glory, they will bring only death and destruction. However, that is something that we can discuss upon the morrow. Now that Kikuri is alive… If we can show them that she wishes not for continued aggression, we might have a chance to allow the boiling kettle to slowly cool and the steam to fade.

Yes, I am speaking of using you, shieldmaiden. Would you have it any other way? I thought not. So, let us depart. We have quite a lot to discuss.

…Alright, human. What is it about the satori…

Subquest: Bring Package to Asylum: 100 Percent Complete

A/N Howdy again, all! This is the first chapter I've actually felt in the groove for. Perhaps a bit close to canon, but I dislike mad scientist Eiren so much, that I want to go the other way with it. Maybe it isn't as funny a thing, but frankly I see her as a professional above everything else.

Mr. Muss, you might have forgotten that we grabbed Elis a little ways back. She's just been hanging around, threatening to purloin everything we've come across.

Digressing, please read and review as always, and until next time!

}\ Playback Log; Section 54 specified.

}} Further events that evening proceeded smoothly. Eiren Yagokoro (Classification: Hypercompetent, Friendly) seems to divert her time between Master and Kikuri. Other princess mentioned only returned late into the evening. Fellow two companions seemed to have a great deal of fun swindling rabbits out of their pay and food. Adequate payback currently, but must strike upon primary target soon.

}} Fast-forwarding…

}} During the evening, Yagokoro offered a sweet dreams pill, so that Master could have a pleasant start upon the next day. However, while Koishi and Elis seem to be taking it well, Master is moving rather much during his sleep. Will continue to observe.

}} Further note: Kikuri currently with Yagokoro and fellow lunarian princess. Will meet upon the morrow.

}} Further playback on request. Quitting out…

}\ Session ende