( I guess I should have done this sooner but all rights go to Veronica Roth)
I wake up around 4am which is way to fucking early. I get up and grab a drink of water and then go sprall out on my bed. I toss and turn for the next two hours completely unable to get any kind of rest. I have never had this much trouble sleeping as a result I decide to skip my morning workout. I get dressed not really caring how I look and decide to wander around maybe I will get to make some little punks day.
As I am walking I realize that I had forgotten how peaceful it truly is here in the morning before all of the hullabaloo has started for the day. I round the corner close to the chasm and it lulls me into a kind of tranquil state the roar of water moving has always been a comfort of mine. I look at my watch and it is nearly 7:30 so I resolve to go and get myself something to satiate my hunger before heading into the dread that the fear sims bring.
After an amazing breakfast of sausage and waffles I head to the stage 2 waiting area where all of the initiates Dauntless born and transfers are awaiting their turn. One by one they all go in screams filling the room that is directly behind me. Watching the other waiting initiates listen to these screams used to tell me who was Dauntless and who was not but right now I can only think about what will happen to my beautiful girl when she enters that room.
Zeke and I alternate taking the initiates to their respective dorms needing to have that extra time to adjust to what they have just seen and heard. I go back after depositing Lynn to her bed when that idiot Candor comes out, Peter, I think his name is. Zeke and I both end up having to take him because he is unable to stand on his own two feet. Inwardly I laugh because it just goes to show Stage 1 and Stage 2 are completely different. By the time we return that little girl Candor is in the room and that just leaves Tris sitting there by herself looking completely and utterly scared.
I look over at her and for the first time I see a tattoo peeking out from the neck of her shirt, I have to admit I am awed and at the same time curious as to what it is. Zeke taps me on the shoulder and points at the door, "I'll take this one." he says and winks at me. I punch him in the arm fairly hard and then chuckle as he rubs the spot. There is a knock on the other side of the door to signal that the simulation is over. Zeke brings the little Candor out and I go to get Tris from where she is sitting. I walk her to the door and as she is turning to close it I whisper "be brave." into her ear.
When we measure simulations the first things we look at is how many fears you have and the second thing we look at is the amount of time that it takes you to overcome your fear, the normal time for the first day of simulations is between 15 and 30 minutes sometimes less and sometimes more. Now since we don't know the actual number of fears until the landscape at the end for Stage 2 it is all about the times. The times today we almost identical ranging from 20-25 minutes the only 2 exceptions was that giant Erudite and Tris. He took 45 minutes, so you can imagine my surprise when 5 minutes later there was a knock on the door. I rush into the room thinking that something is definitely wrong. Imagine my surprise when I get in there and she is visibly shaken but alert.
I grab her by the arm and walk her to the dormitory in awe of her, she is so brave I don't know many people that could go through their first one so quickly. When we get to the door instead of going in like I expect her to she continues walking looking back at me to let me know that she wants me to follow. We go to what I now call our place and again she sits on my lap the only difference is this time she is looking me in the eye and then she finally speaks. "That was so scary, there were crows everywhere and I didn't know what to do..." she takes a breath.
"What did you do to get out of there so fast?" I ask her. She looks up at me her eyes wide. "I noticed the field was on fire so I grabbed a branch and waved it at them and then I was looking at Four again." I give her a gentle squeeze and kiss her hair, I was about to do more but my communication device goes off in my pocket. I stand up and kiss her forehead "I have to go." I say.
Minutes later I walk into Max's office and he motions for me to sit down. "So here's whats happening." he says. "Four had an urgent message come from the holding cells at Candor, there was some trouble with one of the inmates there and he will need to be gone all day tomorrow. So what you will need to do is run the fear sims for the transfers." My mouth gapes open and as I begin to argue my case he holds up his hand to stop me. "It's only one day Eric, I know you don't like to be involved but the fact of the matter is that I need you to do this." I nod my head and square my shoulders. "Yes, sir." I say as I bolt out of the office.
I immediately head back to my apartment and grab a hoodie and change my shoes within moments I am sprinting towards the train. I need to feel the wind and the thrill that being on the train brings me. I jump on and sit in the doorway letting my legs dangle off the side. Looking up at the stars I let out a sign and let myself move with the motion of the train. As I sit back and think about my life and where I want it to go I am completely unaware of how much time passes.
I resolve to get off the train as I feel a pang of hunger in my stomach. I push myself off the floor and take 6 steps back and jump onto the roof, my roof, my haven. As much as I would like to stay here the rest of the night I am truly hungry so instead of walking back I decide to take the jump in and land on the net harder than I had intended. I walk to Mess Hall only to find that it has been closed for an hour. I mentally slap myself and hope that I have some kind of edible food to eat in my kitchen.
When I get back home I find Shauna and Zeke on my couch and bless her there is a wrapped plate of food on the counter. "Thanks guys," I say. "You really are lifesavers." I sit down next to Shauna and dig in. When I finally look up from my food both of them are staring at me. "What I was hungry?" I say and they both laugh. After watching some movie together I look up at the clock and it's after 11. "Alright guys," I say. "I am running the fear sims for the transfers tomorrow so I need to attempt to get some sleep." They both look kind of sad so I look at Shauna and say, "How about we have dinner tomorrow night?" They both agree and after I usher them both out I lock the door. I remove my clothing and pull on some basketball shorts and hop into bed.
As I drift off, which is taking longer than necessary, I think about Tris' fear today and what it meant. I don't know if I will ever understand how her mind works. Once again I am back to the thought as to why she has chosen me, I am not special I don't even really want to stand out I just want to do my job and be feared as I once was. Shauna is the exception but now that damn Zeke sees it too... I don't know if I can handle what this girl is doing to me but at the same time I am excited to see where it could go. At that final thought I am dragged into a nearly comatose sleep.