Chapter 21: Running

Veronica had spent the first three days home from the hospital in bed, she'd refused to leave the room and Weevil did his best to let her mourn…but she was withdrawn had pulled away from him. She hadn't even been able to talk to him about it, and even though Veronica knew he was also feeling the loss she didn't know what to say; didn't know how to comfort him when she still felt so strongly herself. She hadn't even know how badly she had wanted that tiny being inside her until it was gone…Sucking in a breath she did her best to push it aside, to move on with everyday life it was getting easier for her to put herself into something and just forget.

Like now, she'd spent the last week working on a case; but that was finally done and she headed home late again. When she pulled into the drive way Veronica frowned, it was always harder to pretend she was okay when she was at home with nothing to do…Sighing she made herself go in; entering the house she looked around and wasn't at all surprised to see the empty bottles of beer on the table, that seemed to be the way Weevil was handling everything. Getting drunk and passing out on the couch; he wouldn't even come to bed, hadn't since she got home and that stung…

Veronica felt like he was blaming this whole thing on her, after all she blamed herself so why shouldn't he? If she had just taken it easy, cut down on the cases maybe just maybe they wouldn't have lost the baby. "You're home early." Weevil said looking up from the T.V a half empty bottle of beer in his hand. "And your drunk, surprise surprise." She didn't know where they bitterness was coming from, but the bite in her voice made him frown at her. "First one I've had today actually, just got in from working at Angels." His tone held a bite to it that was never there when he talked to her. "So you just left the mess from what yesterday?" She asked putting her bag on a chair.

Seeing the bottles sitting there made her think of her mother and Lianne Mars was a woman she would rather forget about, since she had been so quick to forget about her…she couldn't understand that either; Veronica had barely gotten the chance to know her child and she couldn't forget, her mother had been there for seventeen years and just decided to vanish. "My bad, I'll get right on it." Weevil's voice snapped her back to the present and she narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm going to spend the night at my dad's." Veronica bit out as she walked towards their room not in the mood to deal with this, so she avoided it, pushed him a little further away.

Veronica planned to pack a bag and just go, what was the point of staying in the house when everything was so tense…while going to her father's meant that having to deal with him asking how she was doing every five minutes it was easier than being here, Weevil was clearly in a mood and Veronica didn't feel like she should have to deal with it right now, so what if what he said was true? She'd started pushing him away from her in the hospital and it had just gotten worse when they got home. She just needed time and he should understand that. At the least he didn't seem to want to continue the discussion. Or so she had thought as she grabbed his duffel bag and stuffed some clothes into it.

Weevil's P.O.V

Setting the half empty beer onto the coffee table with the empties from the night before he knew he needed to stop, but everything had just seemed to stop. The moment they found out that the baby was gone everything had changed, he'd spent every moment with her in the hospital as she went through the medical procedures needed to help her body pass their baby. Had accepted that her closing up on him there was her way of defending herself from the pain, but fuck if he wasn't hurting too. She had closed herself off from him and he was tired of it; even now as she decided she needed to run to her dad's it was just another way for her to get further from him.

Pushing himself up he followed her into their bedroom, he leaned his body against the door frame blocking her exit. "So is this what we're doing now?" He asked not even trying to keep the bite out of his voice. "You're just going to come home grab shit and leave? I know you run from your problems, I just never thought you would make it so god damn obvious." Veronica turned around and looked at him, her lips drawn tight in annoyance. "I'm not going to argue with you Weevil." Veronica snapped as she stuffed a sweater into her bag. "No, that would require talking to me, and you can't even do that lately." He was a fighter, he'd fought people and things his entire to get where he was and he wasn't going to let this relationship fall apart again without fighting for it.

"I talk to you all the time." She said crossing her arms over her chest. "Sending me fucking text message saying you're going to be late or just not coming home isn't talking Veronica." She opened her mouth to protest but closed and clenched her jaw. "We talk when I'm home." He bit back a harsh laugh. "When is that exactly? Because we don't even sleep in the same bad lately." She advanced on him, she was close enough to touch and it was the closest she'd been to him since coming home from the hospital. "Don't you dare blame that on me, you're the one getting pissed and passing out on the couch." "Oh come on, you haven't so much as hugged me since we got home from the hospital."

"And you have? You haven't even come to our bed…you barely look at me." Weevil bristled. "How can I? You're never home Veronica!" A steady mixture of anger and hurt laced each word out of his mouth, he understood that this was hard on her; had been reminded by everyone who asked about it, but it was hard on him too. "You don't understand, I need to be doing things." Something in him snapped, of course he didn't understand. "I don't understand? I lost two things that day Veronica. I fucking lost you and my kid, so don't you dare tell me I don't fucking understand." Shaking he turned and punched the wall allowing the anger he felt to seep into it, he didn't care about the hole or the pain that shot from his hand up his arm.

Shaking his hand out he left the bedroom, he couldn't look at her right now…if he saw fear there he wouldn't be able to live with himself. His first thought was to go to the bathroom to wash his hand or grab a towel because he could feel the blood and didn't want it to drip onto the hardwood floors; but instead of turning into the washroom he walked into the kitchen, using his good hand he turned on the cold water putting his hand under it clenching his jaw at the sting. The running water covered the sound of footsteps so Weevil was caught off guard when Veronica was suddenly beside him, keeping his mouth shut he turned the water off grabbing a dish towel he wrapped it around his hand.

"You think this is easy for me? That I don't get how you feel?" Weevil asked finally looking at her, meeting her gaze. "I was there Veronica, I was there too. I wanted this too and now it's gone…" He shook his head at her. "It's different." She said and he looked at her in disbelief. "You're right it is. I don't know how it felt. But I do know how this feels, how it feels to lose two things at once; one I hadn't even had yet and another who's standing in front of me but can barely stand to look at me." Veronica looked away and he knew he hit the nail on the head.

"Go ahead and run to your fathers Veronica, I'll still be here." Weevil said looking at her, but she was looking away from him. "You just let me know how long I'm supposed to wait." Veronica didn't say anything, didn't even look at him as she grabbed her bag and headed for the door, letting it slam shut behind her. Clenching his hands into fists he winced as his bad hand protested but didn't stop, using the pain as a reminder. Weevil tossed the towel onto the counter and going into the fridge he grabbed another beer and moved to the couch, he wasn't sure what this meant for their relationship; he wasn't sure of anything other than the cold beer in his one and a dull throb of pain in his other. It was going to be a long night.