A Reason to Live

Chapter Two

Lying for the Sake of Dying

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

She just could not seem to get clean. Every inch of her body felt dirty from the terrible deed she had just committed. What type of animal was she becoming? Was she so hell bent on defeating Naraku, that she could just kill her own brother without mercy? These thoughts continued to plague Sango's mind each time she would shut her eyes. Normally a trip to the hot springs would be enough to ease her troubled mind, but this time, it only made her feel worse. Here she was, attempting to enjoy a relaxing bath, knowing her beloved brother would never get to feel this sense of relaxation. Nor would he be able to experience the touch of a woman, or the love shared between two, who wish to become one, and it was all her fault. Occasionally, she could still feel the warm tickle of Kohaku's blood running down her face.

"Sango are you sure you are ok," Kagome asked, snapping the slayer out of her troubled musings. "You have been awfully quiet."

"I'm sorry Kagome," Sango said, giving her the best reassuring smile she could. Of course the smile was a forced smile, but she hoped that it would be enough to convince Kagome. "I was just enjoying the warm water. It has been a while since we were able to take a nice warm bath."

"Ok Sango," Kagome replied, giving Sango the biggest smile she could muster. 'The poor girl is so distraught. She says she is enjoying herself, but each time she closes her eyes, she gets a pained look on her face.'

"You know she is not telling you the truth," the small fox demon, Shippo, whispered in the young miko's ear.

"I know, but she is going through some rough times right now," Kagome whispered back. "When she is ready to talk about it, she will."

Back with the men, Inuyasha was attempting to sleep peacefully, as Miroku was sitting by the fire that was going to be used to cook dinner, and keep them warm. 'I have never seen Sango look so depressed before,' Miroku said to himself. 'I can never understand that pain that must be rushing through her body, searing all feelings she may have. How could I? I was born into a family with no siblings. I know what it is like to lose a loved one, but I have no idea what it must be like to know that I am the one responsible. In fact, the more I think back to the battle, the more I realize this is my fault. If I had been paying more attention, then I would never have gotten hurt, and Sango would not have had to protect me. How can I ever make this up to Sango? Can I ever make it up to her? God I just don't know what to do!'

"What is wrong with you Monk," Inuyasha grumbled, snapping the monk out of his own thoughts.

"Nothing Inuyasha," Miroku replied calmly.

"Bull shit," Inuyasha snapped. "I'm getting real sick and tired of everyone saying nothing. Something must be bothering you, so just fucking spill it." Miroku was taken aback by Inuyasha's sudden outburst.

"You wouldn't understand, and if you did, you would tell me I am stupid," Miroku supplied in a rather meek voice.

"If you don't tell me right now, I will just beat it out of you," Inuyasha growled at the monk.

"Fine," Miroku said in defeat. "Sango is going through so much pain right now, and I feel as if it is my fault. If I had been more alert during the battle, then I would not have been injured. Then Sango would not have needed to protect me, meaning she would not have had to kill Kohaku to keep him from killing me."

"You're right," Inuyasha supplied in a disgruntled voice. "You are stupid. None of this was our fault Miroku. Not yours, not Kagome's, not mine, and definitely not Sango's. This is all Naraku's fault, which is why we must beat the bastard. Once we send his ass to the afterlife, we will all be able to live in peace."

"You make it sound so easy Inuyasha," Miroku stated. "We have been trying to kill him for months, and each time he gets away. How much more can we deal with in our pursuit to kill him?"

"We will deal with as much as needed," Inuyasha replied confidently. "You forget that Sango is a strong woman. If any of us could deal with this, it would be her."

"But that doesn't mean she should be the one to shoulder this burden," Miroku responded. "She needs us to be there for her."

"You're right, but she doesn't need us to smother her either," Inuyasha supplied. "She is a warrior, and will not except help willingly."

"Inuyasha, what can I do to help her," Miroku asked. "I care about Sango deeply, but I don't know how I can help her."

"You care for her, or you love her," Inuyasha questioned. The brashness of Inuyasha's question caught Miroku off guard. Normally it would be easy to answer, but after everything that had happened, Miroku was beginning to question even himself. Of course Sango was a beautiful woman, and any man would be lucky to have her favor, but was that enough for him. She was strong willed, independent, and cunning. All great attributes for a warrior, but the more Miroku thought about it, the more he realized that was not what he was really looking for in a wife. He was looking for someone who would let him protect her, someone who would not question everything he said, and someone who could be open about their feelings.

"I don't know Inuyasha," Miroku said after a few minutes of thinking. A sudden gasp brought both men out of their conversation, as a shocked Kagome stood in front of them, along with a now crushed Sango. As Miroku looked at the hurt demon slayer, he could see tears rushing down her eyes. That was before she turned from the camp, and ran into the nearby forest. "SANGO WAIT!!"

"Inuyasha, what have you done," Kagome questioned in a disbelieving voice. Not waiting to hear Inuyasha's reply, Miroku bolted after the crying Sango.

"I didn't do a damn thing," Inuyasha retorted. "It was the monk's stupidity."

"SIT BOY," Kagome yelled, causing Inuyasha to fall face first. "You are truly a heartless bastard. Didn't you for once think about Sango when you were questioning Miroku? Did you think what effect this could have on her?"

"She needed to know the truth," Inuyasha replied as he stood up. "And before you think I'm a heartless bastard, remember, I was not the one toying with her emotions. The monk was."

"You are unbelievable," Kagome snapped, before sitting down in front of the fire. "The only thing we can do now is wait."

She was running as fast as she could. With each stride, she put more distance between her, and the voice of Miroku. How could she have been so stupid? She had allowed herself to think that someone could actually fall in love with someone as ugly as she was. She knew her physical beauty was not on the same level as Kagome's, but she thought that maybe someone would still fall in love with her. Again she was wrong. Finally believing she was far enough away from Miroku, she stopped running, and allowed herself to fall to her knees.

Peering down into her upturned hands, Sango allowed a few tears to come to her eyes. For the first time in a long time, Sango allowed true tears to come to her eyes. Closing her eyes to rid herself of the tears, Sango once again allowed her mind to wonder for a few seconds. Seeing the death of her beloved brother in her mind's eye, Sango opened her eyes, to see her hands covered in blood. It was not just any blood, but the blood of her brother.

"Are you going to sit there all day, and just stare at your hands," Inuyasha's cold voice rang out from behind Sango. Turning quickly, Sango got to her feet, and met Inuyasha's gaze in her own.

"What do you want Inuyasha," Sango questioned in a meek voice.

"I came to see if you were alright," Inuyasha supplied in a gruff voice.

"What does it matter to you," Sango snapped as she turned away from the half-demon.

"Honestly, it doesn't matter at all to me, but if I didn't come look for you, Kagome was going to sit me again," Inuyasha replied truthfully. Sango did not reply to Inuyasha's comment, but continued to look in front of her. "You know Sango, you are a special person. I know I give you a hard time, but in honesty, I believe you to be able to handle it. I believe that it bothers you more that people want to counsel you, rather then just leave you alone. Am I right?"

"I guess so," Sango stated, not even really paying much attention to what he was saying. Suddenly Sango felt two clawed hands on her shoulders, spinning her quickly to face the half-demon.

"Will you fucking listen to me," Inuyasha hissed. "I'm trying to tell you to stop this stupid mopping around. So things have not gone your way lately. Deal with it. We have a job to fucking do, and that job is to kill that bastard Naraku. We must make him suffer for all the suffering he has caused for us. Do you understand me?"

"Yes I do Inuyasha," Sango replied in a furious voice.

"Together we will kill Naraku," Inuyasha stated as a grin came to his face. "No we won't kill him quickly. We will take our time having fun with him. Torturing him, as he has tortured us."

"We will kill Naraku," Sango said to the half-demon. 'And once he is dead, I will join my family in the afterlife.'

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I really enjoyed getting your feedback, and hope this chapter will be as well received as the last one. And to answer a question by kittyb78, I do have a plan for that, but you will have to wait to find out in later chapters. Once again, thank you for the reviews, and sorry for any mistakes I may have made. Also, sorry if I made Miroku seem like an asshole, but I'm not a huge Miroku fan, mainly due to his lecherous ways, and sorry for any OOC I created. I'm trying to stick close to the characters personalities, but sometimes it is really hard.

R&R Please!