Hiraeth- (n) A homesickness for a home you can't return to, or that never was.
Ch. 2 Hiraeth Summer, Year 845
The next day they had just gotten back from the expedition. The Survey Corps had been greeted with angry glares and sad family members. One was an old woman looking for her son, but all they could recover was his severed arm. Mentally and physically exhausted, Levi went straight to his bunk resting his hands on his stomach. He was one of the few who decided to rest at once, even though it was mid afternoon. But he can't sleep.
He stares blankly at the mattress that is placed above him. Usually Farlan would be up there. He would be up there okay and fine. Maybe snoring preventing Levi from peace, or talking about his desires once they move into the interior. Except he won't ever be up there again, he won't talk about his wishes, he won't snore ever again. Isabel will never be here again either. She's gone just like Farlan.
While on the expedition, Isabel and Farlan had perished from titan attacks. Levi wasn't there to protect them, going off to kill Erwin when the opportunity showed itself. It turned out his friends had died for nothing, as the papers Erwin had on him were blank and fake. There were no documents in the first place. His friends had died needlessly. Now he was back here without anyone to be with, and stuck in the Survey Corps. He had already vowed to eradicate all the titans not for him, humanity, or Erwin, but for his friends' sake.
There was a knock at the door. Levi's bunk was situated furthest from the door, so he didn't make any attempt at it. He kept on staring ahead mad at the titans, Erwin, the underground, Lobov, everything and everyone. Someone closer to the door got up to open it. As it opened, Levi recognized the voice immediately.
"I'm looking for Levi. Is he in here?" The voice strangely had an uncharacteristic bitter tone to it. Levi glanced to the side to see the ginger haired woman he saw just yesterday.
'Why does she need to see me?' He was already getting up as the boy who opened it pointed in his direction. He was sitting upwards now and swung his legs down. He looked up to see Calledora staring at him. It was hard to determine what made her sound so bitter. She's usually happy but her face was stern at the moment. It didn't give away too much to what her mood was.
"The commander wishes to see you, Levi." She placed her hands on her hips as she spoke to him with the same tone in her voice.
"Great, is hard head going to send me back to the slums?" Calledora didn't say a word and had venom in her stare aimed at him. Levi did a 'tch' and got up without a fight. He walked out past the door and Calledora. She shut the door behind them and started to lead him to the commander's room. They walked in silence for some time until she broke the silence.
"Were you really planning to kill Erwin?" She looked down at him towering over the short man. Her amber eyes showed contempt, and the corner of her top lip was pulled up a bit. She was certainly disapproving of Levi at the moment.
So that's what she is angry at? What's it to her? "…Yeah" Levi didn't feel the need to go into detail with reasons on why he was going to do such a thing.
She only nodded her and closed her eyes in thought, a pout still plastered on the young lady's face. "Okay."
That's it? Okay? No more questions? Surely she wants to know more. But before he could get the question off his mind Calledora had stopped and knocked on a door. They've arrived at the commander's office. Guess I'll hold onto that thought.
A voice told them to come in and Levi's interest piqued. That voice did not belong to Keith Shadis. Calledora opened the door for Levi and continued to give him a dirty look as he walked in. Levi looked to the chair to see Erwin writing signatures on papers, mountain stacks of paper right next to him on the desk.
Erwin looked up from his desk to the two soldiers walking in. He set his pen down in front of him lacing his fingers together. Leaning forward slightly he looked at Levi. "Take a seat, Levi." Levi was a bit surprised, but kept his usual façade. He didn't know Erwin was top dog now. Just nearly an hour ago, to his knowledge, Shadis was still commander. Regardless he took his seat and continued to look at the blonde in his stoic expression.
"What happened to Shadis? Why are you in the big chair now?"
"…Shadis couldn't handle the pressure of being the commanding officer. Having to be accountable for every life that is lost due to your orders can take its toll. Don't be concerned about it though, he's in the process of becoming the new head instructor for recruits." Levi had seen Keith break down in front of the old woman in Shiganshina, but he didn't think that was the last straw for him to retire from his position.
"But we aren't here to talk about that particular issue. I've called you here today to discuss your squad. As I'm sure you're aware your whole squad was decimated during the expedition." Levi looked away and thought back to the recollection of seeing Isabel and Farlan fall at the hands of titans not too long ago.
"So I'm not going back to the underground?"
"You already gave me your word you would fight back with us, plus no crimes charged. Shadis probably would've been a different story, but he was in on the plan too. He probably knew you would try to kill me. It works out fine."
"I was thinking of putting you with Hange Zoe's squadron. As it has come to my notice, you've already interacted with two members of said squadron. Squad Leader Hange herself," His eyes drifted just above Levi's left shoulder. Levi turned to see where his eyes had rested on and saw Calledora still here, leaning against the door frame with arms crossed, "and Cadet Balli here."
Levi couldn't care less about which squad he would end up with. Like Erwin said, he was already acquainted with two members. Levi nodded not saying another word. The new commander slid him papers to sign off saying he was changing squads.
"One more thing before you go Levi," He slid across more papers to the former thug, " You're in good hands here, at the Survey Corps. Thank you for choosing us." Levi looked back at Erwin, letting their eyes lock with each other for a while before Levi slipped out of the room. Levi was about to walk back to his room to try to sleep, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"How about we go to the cafeteria? We can talk about all this over some lunch. This way we can get to know each other." She was giving him a faint smile now and her joyful tone was back.
"Tch, Do I look like the friendly type to you?" He shouldered off her hand and scowled at her. Calledora simply gave a sheepish smile with a shrug of her shoulders. She turned and walked away from him getting a few steps in before he called her back. "Alright Balli, lead the way." 'Guess I could try being friendly once…'
"You can just call me Calle." She said with a bigger smile.
They have just gotten their food and were sitting in the commons area. Calle had Levi start off telling basic things about himself. Levi was blunt and short with his answers at first, choosing to avoid the questions about his past.
"You know Levi, people are going to find it unpleasant to hang around you. You're going to have to stop being so rude one day." Little did she know however, Levi would never change his ways in the future. Levi continued to look at her with disinterest, but decided he could be less short with his answers. He began with one of them concerning his age, "How old are you?"
"Older than you I'm sure." She gave him a look that said 'yeah okay'.
"Whatever, I'm 24. You look like you just got out of diapers." Levi brought a cup up to his face to drink and nonchalantly proved her wrong.
"28." He looked over to Calle who had her mouth agape and wide eyes.
"Oh… Oh wow! How?! You look so young…" Levi let some of his past be told, only telling of certain adventures with Isabel and Farlan. Some were funny, as he told of Isabel singing for food. But most of them were badass tales, such as when he won an arm wrestling match against the owner of the bar.
"That's kind of cool. I never knew such things happened right below my feet."
It was Levi's turn to look at her with wide eyes, "Below your feet? Don't tell me that you lived…" His words faltered as he realized where she is from.
"Well it's not much of a secret to anyone here, but you're relatively new. Yes, I was born behind the walls of Sina, in the capitol Mitras. My parents are nobles, my mother being related to the king, and I have an inheritance, if I ever decide to go back and get it." Levi regained his stoic face from surprise, returning to his normal bored voice.
"Why would you go into the Survey Corps when you were already safe, behind Sina walls?" Calle then looked down to her food. Her eyes became half-lidded and she picked at her food. She appeared in deep thought and spoke after a while.
"…I've asked myself this plenty of times before, and every conclusion ends with 'because I'm a big fucking idiot.'" She glanced over to Levi, not bothering to turn her head. "You want to hear a story?" Levi nodded his head to her question, curious to hear her tale.
It was getting dark outside. The commons was mostly empty as soldiers went off to their beds. Calle stretched and yawned. Her eyes were starting to get droopy reminding her of the time of day. "I'm sorry Levi. I'll tell you the rest some other time. It's getting so late, you and I need to get to bed." Levi's head was dropped slightly on his hand, his eye circles noticeably darker.
"So that's why you were so miffed earlier? Just because you're crush was almost killed by me." He propped his elbows on the table and made a little crook with his hands to place his head on. Levi glanced over to Calle to see if his assumptions were correct. Calle was blushing and playing with her hands.
"He's a friend! I-I didn't have a c-crush on him. Not anymore anyway, we-we're just d-distant friends." She was avoiding looking into his eyes. 'You're too obvious Calle.'
"Besides… I would've stayed angry at you if I didn't figure out what was going on." Levi fully turned his head in Calle's direction to give attention to what she was saying, "But listening to you both, I put the pieces together… Just wish he would've told me." She got up and walked towards the doors back to the dorms.
Levi was about to follow suit, whenever a panicked soldier had burst through the doors of the Commons yelling at the top of his lungs, "Titans have breached Wall Maria through Shiganshina! The area requires immediate help!"
About Calle's past, I was going to go more in depth, but I decided to do something with it later. Probably make it into ANOTHER story! How lucky for you guys, and so much more writing for me... JK I'm excited about it.
Plus regarding Levi's age, I have no clue. I took the knowledge that he is in his 30's and ran with it.
A Fav and review is always appreciated!