Bessie

He hated his brother with a fiery, burning passion. He hated him more than anyone, and anything. But right now, there was one person he hated more than his brother.

Himself.

How could he let this happen? He screwed up, sure…but holding a newborn in your hands while the mother walks off with no intention of coming back can really make you blame no one but yourself.

He looked down at the tiny, baby girl in his arms with pain in his eyes. He's never seen anything so….so….tiny. How can a human be that small, ever? She looked so delicate, and…pure. He felt like he was looking down at a miniature angel. If he had ever seen beauty, this was the most beautiful thing. And it sounds corny to him, when he goes over it in his head. Everyone says that about every newborn….but now, he was able to see how true it really was.

The child's mother…she had left so abruptly it didn't even give Duff time to think. She had the baby, made him promise to never speak of this matter again, and left. She didn't care…not about a name, or anything. She gave her purpose and was off.

How was he to explain this to his family? It was a complicated plan…she would go back to her husband, pretending to be back from her "schooling" in the Highlands, and some time later after hiding, Duff will announce of the child's existence, claiming it was from an ex or something. Sure…that worked.

He looked down at the unnamed baby girl. She was not a day old and already her future brought trouble, shame, and secrets…heck, her father was a villain. How could he bring that upon her?

"Bessie..." he mumbled. The name seemed to fit right. It simply came to him…she looked like a Bessie. It was a beautiful name…he kept repeating it, his voice getting lower each time. "Bessie…Bessie…"

He kissed his daughter's forehead. He had some things to change.

About 9 months earlier

He hated his brother with a fiery, burning passion. He hated him more than anyone, and anything. He couldn't stand him…everything William Killigan did was in spite to piss Duff off somehow. What was his problem? He had such the perfect life…at least, Allan thought so. He married Mary just recently, which could have been foretold more than a decade ago. He got a job with his own business, finally moved out of the castle and bought his own home on the mainland…what wasn't perfect? And he just wouldn't stop boasting about how he and Mary were trying for kids and how they plan on having dozens. Duff was disgusted with the fact of being an uncle. Not only did it make him sound old (he was only 23 for crying out loud!), but he couldn't imagine bearing to see offspring of his brother, whom he hates, every reunion. But considering Will has been claiming the coming of children for months now, Duff figured there must have been something 'wrong' with whatever it is they're doing. And the thought of that made him cringe with disgust.

Mary, Will's wife, was a nice, but shy lassie…Duff didn't talk to her very much but he remembered her from his childhood. She was their family friend. She would play with Duff and Carol, and especially Will when they were younger. While Will and Mary's marriage was practically determined at such a young age, poor naïve Duff was jealous of his brother and formed a slight crush on the lass. He was young and didn't mean to have any feelings like that…but Mary, along with Carol, was really the only kid he knew of that was actually nice to him and didn't tease him or hurt him in some way. And he respected that, always. From all he knew Mary was simply a nice girl, and now she was a nice woman. Pretty too…strong hazel eyes, quite tanned skin (for a Scottish woman) and ashy blonde hair….Will was a lucky guy.

Duff went over these last few thoughts in his head when he, Carol, Will and Mary were all sitting in the castle parlor. Duff could tell that Will and Mary were distancing themselves from each other. Were they fighting? Probably…it's quite easy to get in a fight with a jerk like William Killigan.

Carol was talking about something…Duff wasn't really paying attention. He loved the sound of her voice, but sometimes the goodness that came out of her mouth he just couldn't comprehend. She may have been talking of a book, or a meal or something. She just looked so sweet when she talked.

Duff caught a glimpse of Will rolling his eyes. Of course he would…he always did that kind of thing. Mary caught a glimpse of that too…she looked away to the floor, thinking over how she felt about her husband.

As Carol talked, she eventually got to some point where she was going to carry out something and needed and or desired company. Will got up, odd enough, and went with her. Duff and Mary were left in the room. They made eye contact.

The two talked, barely, but it was enough.

This was one instance of many, over time, in which Duff and Mary conversed. Whenever they would see each other it was small, casual talk; nothing important, and nothing deep.

One night, however, they had more than just a simple talk.

Mary came over to the castle, without Will. She knocked on the door frantically. Carol had been in the kitchen, cooking, and Duff was sitting at the table talking with her and helping out. When they heard the door they gave each other puzzled looks and Carol walked out of the kitchen, to the large wooden doors and opened them. In the dark night she could see Mary's figure, shaking from anger, fear, and sadness. With a caring attitude she brought her inside to sit down by the fire. She asked Duff to get some blankets and a cup of tea and he obeyed.

"Mary….Mary dear whut happened?" Carol asked, stroking her hair. Duff came to them and draped the flannel tartan blanket over Mary, and set the tea by her. He sat down by the two young women and listened intently. He expected something juicy.

Mary held her face and cried, and choked out the words. "Will…he h-hit meh….weh got in eh big fight an' he h-hit meh real hard an'…" she wiped her face and couldn't even finish the sentence. Carol was awestruck with sadness for her sister-in-law and hugged her.

Duff rolled his eyes, scuffed, and mumbled to himself. "Well ther's eh surprise."

Mary continued, hugging Carol back and wiping the tears from her face. "Eh didn' know wher te go…but eh had te leave."

"Eh understand." Carol said. She hugged her again. "Well ye can stay te night 'ere. Ye can take meh bed if ye like an' eh'll take Will's."

Duff looked up, a bit startled. He and Carol shared a room.

"Thank you…" Mary said lowly. She sniffed and looked down. She felt the flannel blanket in between her fingers, staring through the Killigan tartan.

"Well, eh'll finish cookin' wit Duff an' we'll all get er things ready fer bed, aye?"

Mary looked up at Carol and smiled softly, and nod her head. "Aye, ok."

Carol smiled and walked with Duff back to the kitchen, while Mary warmed herself by the fire. When the two siblings got to the kitchen, Duff looked at his sister like she was crazy.

"Whut wer ye thinkin', givin' yer bed te her? Eh cannae share eh room wit Will's wife!" Duff shouted, just low enough so Mary wouldn't hear.

"Why nae?" Carol asked, completely clueless.

"Eh…..well…." Duff didn't really know himself. He blinked. Why was it such a problem? Maybe it was because he just didn't know her very well and didn't feel comfortable sharing the same room with her…yeah, that was it. He told this to Carol.

"Oh, it's nae too bad Duffaile. No' like yer in te same bed er anyting."

"Aye…" Duff sighed. He still wasn't completely comfortable about it, but he knew he would be able to manage if he just slept as soon as he had the chance.

Carol reassured him that everything was going to be fine, and that she needed to sleep somewhere, and it most certainly wasn't going to be Will's bed. Carol cringed a bit, jokingly afraid of what she would find in his room. Duff offered to take her place, but she insisted she would be fine.

"Really, Carol…it'd be better if ye two lassie's shared eh room while eh had te single…"

Carol gave him a look. "Duff….if ther's one person eh know who wouldn't want te sleep in Will's bed it would be ye."

Duff looked down….that was most certainly true. He sighed and gave up, after offering he could just sleep on the couch in the parlor. But Carol was not someone to argue with about these things. She got that trait from their mother.

Carol helped Mary settle in the room and helped her like a mother would her child. Duff lay in his bed, across the room and watched. Carol promised she would be in Will's bedroom if she needed anything, and she (without her brother's consent) also said Duff was willing to help with anything as well. Mary thanked the both of them and Carol left the room. Duff gave Mary a blank look, then turned away from her in his bed and attempted to, and eventually fell asleep.

When Duff opened his eyes at 1:28 a.m. he had to take a few minutes to think about where he was and what woke him. He thought maybe he had a bad dream…but no, he didn't. He could feel hands on his side, shaking him.

He turned around. Mary was sitting on his bed, leaning over him. She kept her hands on him.

"I-I'm sorry fer wakin' ye, Duff…." She whispered.

Duff sat up and looked at her. "Whuts wrong?"

She looked down. "Eh couldn't sleep….eh wus goin' te ask if Carol could help meh relax eh bit but she's in Will's room an'…eh don' really feel like goin' near there…."

"Oh." Duff looked at her. She woke him up so she could help her fall asleep and comfort her? Duff predicted this situation wasn't going to end well….he wasn't necessarily someone who easily 'comforted' people.

"Um…dye...uh….want eh glass eh milk er sometin'?" he asked.

She looked up at him. "Please….that would be nice. Thank ye."

He yawned, nod his head, got up, left the room, and went downstairs. He opened the fridge, took out a glass, poured a glass of milk, and (out of the kindness of his heart) heat it up a little in the microwave. He went back upstairs to their room with the glass of warm milk.

She was still sitting on his bed. 'Why is she still sitting on meh bed…?' Duff thought.

He walked up to her and gave her the glass. She thanked him and drank it. He looked at her while she drank it. She looked down…then when she finished, she set the glass on Duff's bedside table and shyly looked up at him.

Duff looked at her then slowly sat down a bit awkwardly next to her.

The two sat like that for a few minutes, passing the awkward silence between them. Mary shivered a bit. She looked up at Duff. He looked over at her questioningly. She shivered again.

Duff saw she was shivering, and was cold. He got up, went to Carol's bed and got an extra blanket, and went back to his bed where Mary sat. He draped the blanket over her like he did before. She looked thankful, but also a bit…disappointed.

Duff looked at her a bit suspiciously. He wondered what was on her mind. He sat down next to her on the bed again.

"So…ehm….how're ye feelin'?"

She didn't speak for some time. Duff really wondered what she was thinking now. He was just waiting…begging for her to start telling him how horrible of a husband Will is.

Mary continued to look down. "Ehm….scared." was all she said. She looked up at Duff and shifted her body to face him. She reached her arms out and wrapped them around his torso, hugging him. Duff was a bit shocked at first, and a bit uncomfortable, but eventually he put his arms around her as well and pat her back.

Mary had no intention of releasing from the hug…she remained in his arms, enjoying the comfort. She began comparing Duff and Will in her mind, while Duff slowly…very slowly became comfortable with the embrace as well. He and Mary had their arms about each other and relaxed in the hug for what seemed like a long time. Eventually Duff got a bit uncomfortable again from hugging her for so long. He brought his arms back and she looked at him.

Then, without Duff expecting it, she kissed him. It was a short kiss in reality, but it felt longer for the both of them. She lingered on his lips and Duff became very, very confused.

He pulled back and looked at her. "Whut wus tha' fer?"

She looked at him with sadness in her eyes. Duff seemed to fall in her gaze. Her eyes were like portals to another world he wished he could understand. She spoke softly and delicately. "…yer nae Will….nuthin' like him ah all…"

"Err….ehm aware o' tha…" he didn't understand where this was going.

She touched his shoulder. "Eh hate 'em…" she whispered. She looked like she was hurt to even think about Will.

"Eh hate ehm too….always did." Duff mumbled, more to himself than her. Did Mary…God forbid like him? Why else would she kiss him? She was mad at his brother, her husband…maybe she needed to vent? It felt weird, kissing Mary. It was like kissing…well…frankly it was like kissing your sister-in-law.

"Um…" Duff mumbled. He didn't know what to say, but he noticed she was still touching him. He didn't know what to feel. He was confused, and felt awkward, but at the same time he felt good that Mary realized finally that Will was a jerk. He suddenly remembered all the times when he would think of Mary and how he thought of her.

Mary looked up at him, into his eyes. She tried searching for something in them. Duff looked at her and spoke again.

"Ye hate Will, eh hate Will…." He shrugged. "So ehm…"

He didn't get to finish his sentence. She kissed him again.

This was how the affair started.

It lasted for weeks. In the beginning Duff didn't know what to make of it. He was eventually convinced that Mary liked him…and he accepted it. He used Will as the excuse…they both hated him and had the affair because of him. He was the focal point. Duff did it in spite of his brother, and Mary did it for the comfort and escape from her husband. They started out seeing each other privately. Mary would come over late to the castle, to talk to Carol and Duff…and once Carol went to bed, Duff and Mary said they would take a "walk" around the castle before bed, which they did.

They would also find a room in the castle to lock themselves in, and they would…talk before actually sleeping.

First it started out just kissing. They took it slow…but gradually, over the weeks, they became more intimate and eventually, they hit home run.

After this point nothing stopped them from seeing each other and using the other for intimacy. Duff didn't worry about a thing, and took the situations with ease. The two of them weren't careful, and it honestly shocked the both of them when Mary got pregnant.

When she told him, when they were alone one night, Duff didn't believe her. He couldn't. How was it that she can get pregnant with his child and not Will's? He didn't understand it. He never considered the possibility that he would get his brother's wife pregnant. The first thing that came to mind was abortion. The word spitted out his mouth before he could think. He couldn't think. It wasn't real. It wasn't happened. He was in a dream.

The dream only got deeper when Mary said she did not believe in abortions. Duff was unable to wake up when she said she wanted to keep the baby.

Will could never find out…that was a must. Mary wooed him and convinced him to keep the baby with her. He argued…he brought up Will. She said he didn't matter. He wasn't important. She said she wanted him….she wanted to raise a child with him and be with him. She claimed she loved him…and Duff fell under her spell.

He came up with a plan…she would tell Will and the rest of the family she was going to school in the Highlands for several months. Will wasn't very happy about this, but she eventually enticed him to agree. She had that seducing power.

Duff hid her in the castle during her entire pregnancy, and studied medical and took care of her himself. Mary was thankful and caring with him. She comforted him and told him things he wished to hear. She was kind, and loving. He fell deeper, and deeper under her enchantment. He loved her. He made plans for a wedding when the baby was born. Within time Duff was able to find out that the baby would be female, and the thought of having a daughter brought tears to his eyes. For once in his life, he felt happy. He didn't mind stealing his brother's wife…he hated Will. No harm to him would ever be able to bounce back. He knew Will could never hurt him, or betray him. He has already gone so low.

But he never expected Mary to be the one who would betray him.

Her due date came along, and Duff delivered his own daughter himself. They were hidden deep in the castle, and no worries came to Duff's mind. He had his fiancé, and his daughter, and that's all he needed. He was in love with a kind, caring woman who made him feel so happy, and he loved his baby girl as well.

Mary lay down on the bed, relaxing, while Duff held the baby girl in his arms. He cleaned her off professionally, bundled her up and took her to Mary. He looked in Mary's eyes to see the beauty in them—the beauty of motherhood, as he handed over the child.

But she refused to hold the girl, shooing him away.

Duff looked confused and didn't realize the sign. When he asked what was wrong, she said she was tired. So he sat down with his precious angel and held her himself.

Mary fell asleep, and Duff took care of the baby in the few hours she was out. He didn't want to wake Mary, but he could tell the baby was getting hungry. But when the time came when Mary woke up, he couldn't even get a word out of his mouth before she got up from the bed, cleaned herself up, changed, and hastily looked like she was ready to go out.

Duff stopped her. He told her she needed to feed the unnamed girl. He brought up the subject of a name, but she said she didn't care. This struck him as the invisible second sign.

He told her she couldn't leave right away…he didn't know where she had to go, but she had a baby to look after with him. He was confused, and naïve, and didn't get it. All the things she did—the packing, the ignorance…it never struck him what she intended to do.

Then, she finally broke his heart with only a few, simple words.

"Don't eveh tell William." She said, in almost a threatening tone of voice. Duff believed they didn't need to worry about Will…he thought he was out of the picture.

"No one…an' never speak o' tis wit meh ehgain…tha' child is nae mine, an' ye are nae te father o' nae child eh mine."

She continued to speak like this, in threatening tones. The words just went through Duff's head—in one ear, and out the other. He just didn't understand. He held his…their daughter the entire time, and didn't understand.

She made him swear not to tell a soul the truth. She told him to make up a good excuse for the girl's existence…she told him to claim the child was brought to him from an ex of his, or simply one of the many women he hooked up with. She said that was a likely story, and very predictable of him. She said she was surprised that never actually happened. She hurt his feelings.

Then she left as simple as that. And Duff woke from his dream, and realized what happened. He realized what he held in his arms, and what he now was, and what Mary was. He realized who he fell for and what that made him.

He held his daughter. He was a father. Mary fooled him and he fell for it. He was stupid, and naïve, and felt like dying. But he looked down at Bessie and smiled…he had to be strong for her. He had to live on for her. He was all she had now…there was no one else. She slept peacefully in his arms, and when he looked at her, at first he thought of the shame he had brought upon her. But he knew he would do everything in his power to love her and raise her well. She was a Killigan, after all. And a Killigan is strong, willing….

Duff knew in his heart she would turn out to be everything he wasn't.

A/N: Comments please!