A/N: Hi everyone and sincerest apologies for the very long time it took me to update. Between moving, sort of being homeless and soon having to move again, plus some continuous health issues that keep pestering me, I was pressed to find time to actually write. I won't bore you with the details, just that I really hope life can go back to normal soon so I can focus on such relaxing things as writing, as I had my dose of stress for this year.
Now I hope you guys are still reading and enjoying this and that this chapter was worth the wait.
Dean turned for what felt like the tenth time in as many minutes. Damn, the floor was uncomfortable and he could already feel his back protesting. He would have loved nothing more than to share another night with Cas in his warm, comfortable bed but with his little brother around that was definitely not an option. Not that he would have left Sammy to his own devices down here at any rate, no matter how tempting the prospect of being curled up next to Cas and a proper bed had been. Because this was also nice in 'having a slice of normality' kind of way; sharing a room brought back a small measure of familiarity into their lives after what had happened, so the living room floor it was. Dean, being all big brotherly, had insisted on Sammy taking the couch, assuring his brother he would be fine, although he since started to regret his attempt at 'valor'. He sighed as he lifted his head, scrunched up the cushion, shoved it back under his head and mashed his face into it.
"Dean?" Sammy's tired sounding voice cut through the silence.
"Yeah?" Dean had thought his brother was asleep. He hoped he didn't wake him with his incessant tossing and turning.
"You know it's alright, don't you?"
Dean lifted his head off his makeshift resting place to try and make out Sammy's face in the darkened room. "What is?" He asked unable to quite follow his brother's train of thought.
"You know- you being gay."
Oh. Dean had waited for the other shoe to drop and for Sammy to finally catch up with the reason as to his blow up with their dad. He had been fearful of his brother rejecting him, despite obvious proof to the contrary. Sammy had accepted Cas without as much as a raised eyebrow after all. Still dread and anxiety had made themselves at home in his stomach over the course of the evening, once the busyness of the day had been left behind. The irritation of the inevitable questions had been itching under his skin. And Sammy had decided that now was the time for it, and like he tended to do, he went straight to the point.
"Not sure that I am." Dean replied as truthfully as he could after thinking it over for a minute. He was still confused as to what he was and which, if any, label he should put on himself. Moreover, he felt that this was nobody else's business. Why did who he was attracted to suddenly become a big issue? But it was his brother that was asking and he kind of owed him the truth, and he wanted Sammy to understand. However, he hadn't quite figured it all out for himself yet. It wasn't like he didn't find girls attractive any longer, he was pretty sure of that. Just that there were some guys, and ok some of the sex stuff guys did together, that appealed to him, got his engine going. He was one hundred percent positive on that part after his recent exploration that started this whole sordid mess. And then, of course, there was Cas who brought out a frightening amount of emotions and urges in him, some of which he just didn't know what to do with, even now that they had established some kind of mutual understanding with the promise of more. And god- did Dean want more, he knew that much!
"That's ok, too." Sammy replied, sounding way too wise and understanding for an eleven year old. Dean could make out his face in the darkness, hanging over the edge of the couch and smiling down at him, almost making Dean choke up at the unhidden honesty and acceptance he found in his gaze. His dad being a dick about his sexuality, he could come to terms with but if Sammy had rejected him, Dean was sure he would have rather denied it all and gone into hiding than lose his kid brother. Thankfully it appeared like it didn't need to come to this.
"Thanks." He rasped, hoping Sam wouldn't hear the slight waver in his voice.
"But- you do like guys- like that?" Sam enquired curiously after another moment's silence.
"Well-" Dean swallowed. Why was he still feeling so touchy about this? It would be only natural his little brother would have questions, after all he was getting to that age where he would start taking an interest in these things, at least if he was developing at the same rate Dean had. And he never had issues talking about girls, why should this any different? He just needed to get over himself. Truth was that yes, he did like certain guys like that. "Some, I guess. It's- complicated."
"Mhhh." Sammy mumbled like he was mulling this information over.
"Just- what I don't get is - if you do like some guys like that and you're not - you know - why were you always so weirded out by Cas and Alan?" Dean could feel his brother's eyes on him from where he was now almost hanging off the edge of the couch.
Dean shifted his gaze away and fixed his eyes at the wall. How was he supposed to answer that? Not with the truth, that much was sure. Of course Sammy would have gotten the wrong idea by Dean's previous behavior. In a way Dean should be relieved, as opening this particular can of worms would not be a good idea. Part of him wanted nothing more than to confide in Sammy, hoping he might actually get it, he was a smart and intuitive little shit after all. Then again, he might not, plus he had promised Cas, and it was Cas who would be in trouble should this ever get out.
Still, it didn't feel quite right keeping this from his brother. Dean was sure, his brother would start asking questions if he, after months and months of changing girlfriends would suddenly be seen to go without. Because if Cas wouldn't be seeing anyone while they tried this whatever it was, Dean would do the same. It was only fair, even if the man had offered. Plus he really wasn't that interested in pursuing anyone else all of a sudden. It had been fun while he couldn't get what he actually wanted but now things were different, now Cas was within reach and no girl or scrawny boy could come close to the man by comparison. As for Sammy asking probing questions, Dean would just have to cross that bridge if and when he needed to. There where bigger fish to fry right now.
"Dunno. Just- probably was working through some stuff." He mumbled, hoping the kid would let it rest, as he really had no idea what else to tell him.
"But you're ok now, I mean you and Cas?" And it tugged at Dean's heart just how emotional his little brother's voice sounded. Dean realized with a start how much he really must have hated them not getting along these last few months. How much Cas had come to mean to Sammy in terms of a friend or maybe even family.
"Yeah Sammy, we are." Dean answered, thankful for the darkness that hopefully hid the grin he couldn't hold back. Despite all the crap life presently was throwing at them, he and Cas were fine, for the first time better than just fine, in fact. He really had to learn to reign in his emotions or he might as well strap a sign declaring 'Cas and I are hot for each other' to his forehead. And damn, now he missed lying close next to the man, the way his long fingers would card through his hair, even missed the slight snoring noises Cas made once asleep, they were rather soothing.
"That's great, because having you two at odds sucks."
Dean hummed in agreement and turned onto his back, hoping that this position might be slightly more comfortable.
"What you think is gonna happen now?" Apparently Sam was in a talkative mood. They hadn't really touched on recent events. This evening had felt strangely surreal, like straight out of a 1950's movie and nobody wanted to spoil the mood, Dean guessed. Funny how now Sammy wanted to talk, the again, maybe it was just habit. They used to do this a fair bit after light's out, before Dean's stunt at the camp. Sammy was tucked up in bed and Dean sat crossed leg on his own, laptop in his lap or even the occasional book. These days Dean normally went to bed after Sammy was asleep. He realized he kind of missed those moments, conversation always used to be easier in the dark and comfort of their room. But now everything was up in the air, and of course Sammy would be apprehensive about what might lie ahead.
"Dunno, I- god I'm sorry Sam." Dean couldn't help it. He felt like he had ruined it all. What if Sammy would lose his home over this? Even if it was less than perfect, it was still their home, a place to go to at the end of the day. Or worse, what if his dad managed to separate them somehow. Found a way to sent Dean away again. All because he was too stupid to clear the damn history and rock a boat that really didn't need rocking.
"Hey, it's all dad's fault, if he only-"
"Not all- He didn't have it easy since- you know." Dean protested before he could stop himself.
"Stop making excuses for him." Sammy said, sounding agitated. "Mom dying has nothing to do with him beating up his own kid for liking guys."
"Sammy," Dean gritted in warning. Mom's death was a sore topic and even after all this time generally not talked about much.
"'S true though. I just wish we all would stop pretending and blame everything on mom dying, that was like forever ago."
"Don't talk about her like that. Don't you dare. She was- everything was different then." That hole deep inside his soul, the one he had slowly managed to patch up abruptly ruptured with force. Memories of his mom swiftly overwhelmed him, the way she used to laugh, how her voice sounded when she sang Sammy to sleep, how their dad walked into the kitchen after a long day at work and kissed the back of her neck softly. Dean could remember it vividly now. And Dean was horrified. When had he last thought of his mom like that? Was he starting to forget about her? He swallowed back the sudden lump in his throat.
"Sorry," Sammy was quick to interject. "You know I miss her too, I just- I can't really remember her and-" Dean could hear Sammy taking in a breath, like he tried hard not to cry. "It would be nice to talk about her sometimes, and I mean not just at Christmas and her birthday, or go to the grave once a year, but just the stuff she used to do, the good memories."
"I know." Dean agreed, wondering when trying to spare their dad's feeling over his loss had turned into barely talking about her at all. Well, for one their dad seemed to have moved on so why shouldn't they talk about her, remember her?
"I promise we will, just not tonight, alright?" Dean didn't want to lose it and he knew he would if he allowed himself to go there, really examined what he had lost. He could already feel the emotions bubbling away right under the surface. Dean took in a deep breath, surprised by a sudden urge for Cas making itself known. He didn't even know why he wanted to be near the man now, he used to do just fine dealing with this stuff on his own, or so he thought, but for some reason, he craved Cas' personal contact.
"Ok, but when this is all over, promise?" Sammy sounded hopeful and Dean made a promise to himself that he would not allow his brother to forget her. There were old picture albums flying around somewhere in the attic. He would get them and they would look at them together and talk about their mother, one day soon.
"Yeah." Dean affirmed while squirming under the blankets again. His shoulder hurt from the weird angle he had held himself up to look at Sammy and he still felt too emotional for his liking. He just needed a moment. With an exasperated huff he pulled the blankets off of him and scrambled to his feet.
"Where ya going?" Sammy mumbled, finally sounding tired.
"Bathroom, try to get some sleep." Dean said and staggered up the stairs to take a quick leak. It had gone midnight but he didn't feel particularly sleepy. He stretched out the kinks in his back, looking himself over in the mirror and prodded at his swollen face where it was purple and tender. But really, he was debating with his mirror image whether he could get away with sneaking into Cas' room, just for a bit. He could do with a hug. Damn, he even would settle for just a smile. His stomach was in all sorts of twisted knots, stupid emotions. He glared at his reflection. He felt pathetic and stupid and at his core just fucking lonely.
Just a quick glance through the door, Dean decided on his way out of the bathroom. If Cas was asleep he would just head back downstairs and lie awake all night, no problem. The door was closed and Dean pressed down the handle as quietly as he could, opening the door just enough to peek through, making out the dark mop of hair sticking out from under the blankets in the relative darkness.
"Dean?" Castiel's sleep laden voice made the boy jump. Apparently he had not been as stealthy as he had assumed. "Is everything ok?"
"I- yeah. Sure, I'm sorry for waking you."
"'S okay. Hey, you don't sound too good, what is wrong?" The man had pulled up into a sitting position and turned on the bedside lamp, even as he couldn't help a yawn escaping him.
"I- 's stupid, I just, me and Sammy we got talking and I- I, we talked about mom."
Castiel and Dean had never talked much about Mary, more than how she died. Whenever he had tried Dean had clamped up and Castiel knew better than to poke a sleeping bear. He knew how hard it was to talk about some things and had always hoped that Dean would let him know when he was ready to talk.
"I'm here to listen, if you need to talk. You know that, right?" He offered, giving Dean a reassuring, albeit tired, smile.
Dean shuffled in the doorway. "I know, just I don't want to talk anymore right now. I just wanted-" Dean stopped mid-sentence, looking at Cas, knowing that really he should have not woken the man.
But Castiel nodded in understanding, surprising Dean. "What do you want?" The older man asked, while hoping it would not be something he was not ready to give the teenager yet.
"I- just felt so damn alone there in the bathroom for a second." Dean admitted, biting his bottom lip nervously. God he hated how he sounded like a needy basket case. When had he started talking about his feelings like that? What was it that Cas had that made him want to be so damn honest?
Something Castiel seemed to know instinctively, despite his protests to the contrary, was how to read situations, or maybe he just learned how to read Dean. He pulled his duvet aside and opened his arms in invitation, without a big speech or lecture or, which Dean probably feared most, pity, and Dean felt a weird burst of heat shoot through his chest, chasing away that feeling of darkness and dread that had filled its place but a moment ago. He closed the door quietly and took the few steps towards the man, unashamedly flinging himself at him. Cas pulled him down with him and covered them both with the duvet. Dean didn't even have the urge like he normally did to grope and cop a feel. It was almost chaste how Cas just held him, more comfort than anything else, one hand on his back the other slung around his waist, and it was just what Dean needed, he realized as he rested his head against the man's chest, letting the rise and fall of it calm him. He was thankful that Cas didn't try to engage him in conversation.
"It is ok to not feel ok, you know," Cas mumbled, working his fingers through Dean's hair, slowly feeling the tension leave the boys' body.
"Mhhh," Dean hummed, his eyes were closed and the steady beat of Cas' heart was slowly threatening to pull him under, but the break of silence had him pull back from the brink of sleep.
"I should probably go back downstairs." Dean said in a moment of clarity. He so desperately wanted to stay and just sleep here in Cas' arms but also wanted to be there for his brother, plus he knew he couldn't risk Sammy finding them here, entwined in each other, without having to answer awkward questions. Dean had the weird sensation of wanting to be in two places at the same time.
"Probably a wise decision." Cas agreed. Honestly, if Dean hadn't volunteered, he would have let the teenager stay, consequences be damned. They could have come up with something to tell Sammy. Not to say that he wasn't relieved at Dean's words. It was by far the way of lesser resistance.
Dean smiled tiredly, already bemoaning the loss of the soft mattress and the body heat of the man next to him. He couldn't help to steal a quick kiss, tender and languid. It was a real effort to pull away and not just on Dean's part if the way Cas' lips chased his for just a second after he finally managed to break the kiss was anything to go by.
"Night, Cas" Dean smiled, a genuine smile that surprised him after the previous events of the evening.
"Good night, Dean." Cas returned the smile, not feeling tired in the least any longer but knowing he really needed to try and catch at least a few hours of sleep in order to be able to face tomorrow's events.
Sam was fast asleep by the time Dean sneaked back into the room. He resigned himself to spending what was left on the night on the hard floor and grumpily shuffled the cushion under his head as he rested on his stomach, kicking himself for having given up on that warm soft bed so easily.
#
Bobby Singer was a force to be reckoned with. Castiel always assumed as much. But even if the pickup truck that was parked in the Winchester drive hadn't announced his presence, his booming voice, ringing through the street as he laid into John Winchester would have been a dead giveaway.
Castiel arrived home from his morning lecture and endless questions as to the reason for his current appearance (he had a feeling that this was only in part curiosity at the state of his face and hand but mostly aimed at his less than appropriate attire, but tying a tie with one hand was just not going to happen he had conceded after about the fifth try) to raised voices from the house opposite. He quickly scurried inside, hoping these two forces of nature wouldn't kill each other but knew better than to head over and add fuel to the fire. Bobby had proven himself more than apt to keep John Winchester in line. Dean and Sam were still at school for a few more hours and he hoped for the worst to be over by then.
Cas threw together a quick sandwich and brewed some coffee, all the while keeping an eye on the front door of the Winchester house through his window, like he could will himself to see through the walls if he only tried hard enough. Time passed and he eventually grew bored of window watching. He had other things on his to-do list, might as well get to them while the peace lasted. It was two hours later that a knock on the door interrupted his Skype conversation with Gabriel. (Stupid bell was still in its packing in the garage, Gabriel would have a field day if he knew). Castiel excused himself, promising to call back later to talk about plans on handling 'The Situation' as they have come to call the Novak Family Meltdown. He opened the door to the sight of an extremely exhausted looking Bobby Singer, who just mumbled "Idjit" under his breath and didn't wait for an invitation but strolled straight past Castiel, bee-lining for the kitchen.
"Any chance for a decent cup of coffee before I give into temptation and get out the hard liquor?" He grumbled, taking off his baseball cap and working his hands through his slightly damp hair and then swiftly placing it back on top of his head.
"Certainly." Castiel replied, having gotten somewhat used to Bobby's gruff ways over the few times they met.
He went to work preparing another batch of coffee, not daring to ask the man how things went with John. Like Dean, Bobby seemed to be the kind of person who will let you know when they were ready to talk and the older man looked like he needed a moment.
Ten minutes and half a mug of too sweet, but he needed the sugar boost, coffee later, Bobby let out an exasperated sigh.
"That going to be ok?" Bobby asked pointing to Castiel's hand.
"Yes, it will just take some time."
Bobby nodded in understanding before staring at his mug some more.
"That man hasn't been right since Mary's accident. I had always thought all he needed was some time. I never quite realized how bad things got. He seemed to be doin' alright. I should have done somethin' earlier. I should have seen this comin', damn, I've been there myself, should have been able to see the signs, still I hoped-"
The genuine pain and regret Castiel saw in Bobby's eyes floored him. He pulled up a chair and poured himself some more coffee, waiting for Bobby to continue. At the rate he was chugging down the beverage today, all his blood would be replaced by caffeine pretty soon, but sleep was overrated anyway.
"When my first wife died- I was a mess, nearly well managed to get myself killed, drivin' into a tree while completely smashed. But it was the wake-up call I needed." The old man mumbled into his mug.
Cas "mmmh'ed" in understanding, slightly surprised Bobby shared this information with him.
"He still reeked of alcohol when I went over there earlier, there was really not much talking sense with him, about Dean and stuff- ya know, god, no matter what- he's his damn son!" He took his baseball cap off again, placing it on the table next to his mug. Castiel looked on, not sure what to say.
"I gave him an ultimatum." He continued after a dramatic pause and Castiel raised an eyebrow in question. "If he cares for them boys like he says he does then he needs to go and get himself straightened out. Should have done this years ago. But over Christmas I really believed he had finally pulled through, damn I was a fool. Told him about this place I know. It ain't cheap but their program is good and I've got some savings."
"You mean like a clinic?" Cas questioned.
"Yeah, he needs a place to sort out his head, it's not just the alcohol, it's how he learned to cope- and the boys need to get their father back, or at least what might be left of him."
Castiel nodded, mulling this over. John getting the help he so clearly needed was a good thing on all fronts but-
"How about Sam and Dean? Where would they stay?" He asked, worried on their behalf. Castiel just knew that Dean would not react well if any official institution would get involved and, god forbid, split them up, even if just for a while.
"That's the part where you and I come in." Bobby for the first time since he got here met Castiel's gaze head on, a slight uncertainty in his eyes.
"Was wondering whether ya would take them in until the school years up. 'S only another couple of weeks and then me 'n Jody would take them for the summer. That way no one else would need to get involved. But I understand if ya can't-"
"Of course." Cas agreed without having to think it over, only to have his stomach starting to churn immediately. His gaze shifted, evading Bobby's as a hot flush of shame and embarrassment worked its way up his spine, heating his neck and face. What would Bobby say- make of him if he knew? Knew the tightrope Castiel walked with regards to Dean and how they were more than met the eye, closer than would be considered healthy. He certainly would not trust him with the wellbeing of the Winchester boys.
Maybe Castiel should say 'no' but he couldn't get himself to do that either. He really did want to help so that the brothers didn't have to go through more upheaval than they already had. Also, Castiel didn't doubt that whether Dean would be here or elsewhere, the current state of affairs between them would not change. So far distance and societal expectations had not been able to lessen the pull between them so why should any new separation be any different? Castiel was already in too deep and no avoidance of Bobby or what he asked of him would change that. There would have to be some logistics, like beds and stuff to be considered, but they boys were at his house half the time anyway. It would cause the least interruption to their lives.
"And- John's ok with that?" Castiel asked, the 'Ok with him' heavily implied, slightly worried about any backlash from the man. He was still painfully aware of the look of disgust that John had thrown his way and his general opinion on homosexuality.
"As I said. Didn't leave him much of a choice. It was this or me getting Services involved and reporting him. I want to help John, but the kids have to come first," Bobby took another swig of his coffee.
"I made the call already. He can go up there on Friday for six weeks. I'll stay here 'till then and take him there myself."
"You think this will work?"
"It better." Bobby mumbled and Castiel nodded. Bobby must really care for the old Winchester to spent his own savings on him, placed like that didn't come cheap. Or possibly he cared for the boys although Castiel had an inkling that really it was a bit of both.
#
They filled the boys in once they returned from school and it was generally received with a mix of tentative optimism and apprehension, although they both cheered up at the prospect of staying with Castiel for the time being. Over dinner they all worked out the necessary arrangements. Bobby decided to spent the night over at the Winchester house, keeping an eye on John, mainly to keep him from heading out and hitting the bottle again. In the morning there would be the prospect of having to deal with John's place of work, if he still had a job after not going in for the last two days that was, and helping him deal with any of the necessary paperwork and finances. At least he owned the house, inherited it from his parents, so the only bills they really needed to worry about where the household ones.
Castiel and Bobby had left the choice of whether to move back in for the few days until Friday or stay at Castiel's to the boys. Dean refused outright (with only a slight ulterior motive of wanting to stay close to Cas in the back of his head, mainly he just didn't want to be subjected to the look of disappointment and disgust their dad would no doubt throw at him) and subsequently Sam refused to go back without his brother.
Of course it wasn't as easy as that, there was the sleep arrangement issue. Castiel offered to clear out the second bedroom for the boys to share, but as of right now they were painfully short of mattresses or beds for the brothers to sleep on and the couch was just not big enough for two people. Eventually and only when it became apparent that Dean would not let him take his turn on the floor, Sam agreed to go back with Bobby and sleep in his own bed, with the promise that he would be back first thing and Dean could make him an extra big helping of pancakes with real maple syrup.
If the couch didn't get much use that night (or the night after), as Dean didn't see any valid reason not to slip into Cas' room and share his bed, something the man, to his relief, seemed to agree on, then no one would need to know about that.
Friday came soon enough and with it the departure of John and Bobby. Dean couldn't make himself go and say goodbye, instead took off to school extra early to avoid any emotional (or otherwise) confrontation. He just didn't feel ready to face his old man yet. Bobby promised to keep them up to date about John's progress as he was his official point of contact, and to be back in three weeks to pick the boys up for the summer.
Castiel spent a frustrating day at university. End of term was even more frantic than he remembered, or possibly it was because he was left to deal with an extra class (and the joy of marking about 50 extra papers) as the soon to be retired professor was taking liberty with sick leave (again). He managed successfully to dodge his family, not feeling in a position to deal with them right now, screening his calls and valiantly ignoring any email messages. Gabriel kept him up to date with any important developments that he needed to know about. Not that there was much news in terms of substance, other than the family being in crisis over one of their own having gone so horribly astray.
Most of Friday afternoon and early evening was spent taking apart, carrying across the street and reassembling the brothers' beds in Cas' spare room. It was a tight fit as the room was smaller than the one they shared in their own home but they made it work. Dean, as always, proved very skilled with his hands and did most of the work himself, Sammy helping where he could. It was a lovely and sunny May day and Castiel decided to dust down the barbeque and make the most of the warm weather. They ended up sitting out back, not particularly doing anything much other than enjoy their burgers.
The weekend was generally a quiet affair, everybody trying to settle into some semblance of a routine. Castiel on his part was getting more frustrated with the lack of use of his hand and the limitations this put on him. Especially for everyday tasks that generally required the use of two fully functional hands, like putting on some decent clothes, (generally involving lots of buttons). The weekend had not been much of a problem but by Monday Castiel had given in to Dean's repeated offers for help as sweatpants were just not an acceptable garment for lecturing in. It was that or buy some pull up pants and polo-shirts. After that, the boy was basically dressing him in the mornings, ties and all. And that should not feel as intimate as it did, but having Dean so close in his personal space, feeling his fingers brush over his skin as he did up the buttons of his shirt before tugging it in and doing up his slacks was electrifying to a degree that Castiel had not prior associated or experienced with the teenager. This new exhilarating feeling was not helped by the prolonged eye contact they started to engage in during those moments. Castiel wondered whether Dean realized the effect he was having on him and played towards it or whether it was just his natural youthful exuberance.
Castiel felt like his body was starting to betray him now that the barrier he had put in place was finally removed and he had accepted his attraction, platonic or otherwise, to the teenager. Physical attraction seemed such a fickle state, yet, desire for more than just Dean's company started to flare up intermittently, and that more than anything petrified him. He should not be in that way attracted to someone so much younger but here he was, finding it harder and harder to deny the truth of this fact. Dean's changing and maturing physique was definitely working against Castiel on this front.
Generally he overcame his own doubts by not thinking about it too deeply before his morals and the worry about the increasingly thinning line of legality he was walking could make themselves known. Right now it was fairly easy to distract himself with work and all the other issues going on. It was not like he was asking the boy for sexual favors or anything even close to it. At face value, their interactions could be considered fairly innocent as of late, more companionship during the hours they shared than anything tangibly physical (those dressing Castiel for work moments aside, but that could be explained away as being a 'necessity'). There was the occasional good morning peck or brush of hands while they passed each other in the bathroom or kitchen, but they didn't hold the same desperation as those past frantic stolen kisses. Their urgent need was somewhat quelled by the acknowledgment of reciprocal feelings. But regardless of the level of ferocity (or the lack thereof) of any interaction, it would still be considered wrong. It was just that Castiel couldn't make himself come up with enough reasons as to why that was any more.
#
"Hey, you're coming out of there any time soon?" Dean peeked into the study where Cas had locked himself away for the last few hours, papers apparently still hadn't developed the skill to grade themselves and he was running behind.
"No." Came the exasperated reply from the man, without as much as taking his eyes off the paper he was currently redecorating with a red marker pen.
Dean chuckled as he opened the door fully and stepped inside. "Well, good then I planned ahead. Here." He placed a steaming mug of coffee on the table.
"Oh god yes, I- can I keep you?" Castiel's eyes lit up at the sight of the steaming hot liquid and he picked up the mug and brought it to his mouth, briefly blowing on the coffee before taking a gulp. "Mhhh, you're getting good at this."
Dean beamed at the sentiment. Cas could keep him, alright. As for the coffee- "I had a good teacher I guess." He smiled at the way the man's face relaxed as the warm liquid hit his palate.
"But seriously, dinner's almost ready and Sammy has asked for your help out back three times so far, it can't be healthy being cooped up in one place for this amount of time."
Castiel frowned. "Believe me I'd rather be helping your brother with his end of year science project but I'm behind as it is and this needs to be done by Monday or I will have a lot of explaining to do. And do not get me started on having to do this with my left hand, I have no idea whether they will even be able to decipher my writing."
Dean molded himself against Cas' back as he chanced a quick glance at the current paper in front of the man. "It's not that bad." He concluded with a smirk, placing a teasing peck on the back of Cas' neck. Cas' handwriting currently resembled that of a six year old.
"It is bad then, You are cruel for taking pleasure in my misfortune." Castiel huffed but it held no real malice and he turned his face to lock eyes with the boy, the skin around his eyes crinkling ever so slightly as he clearly tried not to smile. Cas could be adorable like that, Dean had discovered, trying to stay grumpy just for the sake of it. Dean rested his chin on the top of the Cas' head.
"Hey, only another two weeks or so."
Castiel grunted. "I cannot wait to finally get this thing off."
"What's the first thing you gonna do?" Dean mumbled into the man's hairline.
"Anything that requires the use of my right hand."
Dean let out a snort. He was sure Castiel hadn't meant for this to be an innuendo and he had real trouble biting back the teasing comment ready at the tip of his tongue.
"What is so amusing?"
"Nothing, Cas, nothing." Dean chuckled. "Never change," he added wrapping his arms around the man's chest. Castiel allowed himself a moment of closing his eyes, just enjoying Dean's warm presence but the pile of papers was at the forefront of his mind and after a moment, he moved away from the boy with a sigh and picked up the marker pen.
"I'm going back down but when dinner is ready you better show your face." Dean said, having gotten the hint.
"Mhhh," Cas hummed already focused on the paper again.
Dean did not want to boast but he was getting rather good at cooking, and the thing was, he really enjoyed it. It used to be a necessity, something he had to learn unless he and Sammy wanted to live off sandwiches. But now he liked to experiment and try new things and even more, he got a rise out of people complementing his cooking, something Cas did on a regular basis. Sammy generally let second and third helpings do the talking. Dean sometimes wondered whether they were playing some weird version of 'house' and it was unnerving how well it all seemed to fit, but he was scared that if he did think too much on this, he would probably find a way of screwing it all up. At any rate, they only had another two weeks before Bobby would come and get them for the summer. Part of Dean really wished he had Sammy could just stay here. If it worked why change it?
He pricked the potatoes, another couple of minutes and they'll be done he decided, when the phone rang. Dean was quick to answer, as he knew that Cas didn't like interruptions when he was barricaded in his study.
"Yes?"
"Erm, I would like to speak with Castiel Novak, please."
"Sorry, he's busy. I can take a message."
"No, this is an urgent matter. If you tell him it is his brother, Balthazar then-"
"Oh. He definitely won't be talking to you." Dean snapped, the posh voice rubbing him up all the wrong way.
"Pardon? Who is this?"
"This- is a friend of Cas' and as I said he's busy."
"A friend, right. I do not wish to relay such a personal sensitive matter via a friend," came the condescending voice. "So if you could just go and fetch my brother so that I can personally-."
"Now listen," Dean was getting more pissed off with the hoity-toity guy by the second. "You got anything to say to Cas I'm sure you have his email, and if he ain't replying to those, I'm sure he's got his reasons- but personally I think if you could just leave him alone, I quite frankly think you've done enough damage-"
"Your tone of voice is rather scandalous. I will not be spoken to like this by some-"
"Some what?" Dean interrupted.
"Some perversion of nature." Came the cold reply. Balthazar was not even trying to hide the disdain in his voice. "I assume you are one of them. One of those people who feeds my brother lies about how his twisted urges are an acceptable lifestyle choice, to make him forget what is right and proper and-"
"OK- for one, you know jack shit about me or what I am!" Dean gritted into the receiver. "And two, I am talking to you however I want and you and your bigoted and backwards family can go and fuck yourselves if you cannot see what a great and caring guy Cas is. You don't fucking deserve him." Dean was yelling by now.
Castiel came racing down the stairs, having heard Dean's raised voice and wondered what had the boy so worked up, when Dean clicked 'end call' with a "Go, fuck yourself." When he noticed Cas staring at him wide eyed he gave him a sheepish look, suddenly feeling not so confident anymore, his anger quickly turning to anxiety.
"Your brother, Balthazar." He informed Cas, whose eyes only grew wider. "Sorry?!" he added apologetically. Maybe shouting at Cas' brother had not been his brightest moment, for all he knew he was calling to make peace with Castiel and now he ruined it for the man.
Castiel for a second didn't quite know how to react, whether to scold Dean or laugh. In the end an intense awe for the teenager won out (no one generally talked to Balthazar like that and Castiel could only imagine his brother's face a couple of states over, probably still wondering what had hit him. And Cas might have been just a bit moved that Dean apparently had such strong feelings towards him to defend him like that).
Castiel smiled at Dean and couldn't hold back a laugh at the image of his brother's face, and Dean smiled bashfully back, relief evident on his face while still clutching the phone in his hand. Castiel was overwhelmed by a sudden wave of affection for the boy and without thinking pulled Dean in by the shoulders and kissed him square on the mouth. The gesture ended up being slightly more passionate than he had aimed for and Dean sank into it fast. He reciprocated with enthusiasm, grabbing Cas round the neck and tangling his fingers in his hair, sucking on the man's bottom lip and feeling the stubble against his lips. It was not normally Cas who initiated those moments and Dean was going to make damn sure that he would get as much out of this as Cas would let him.
The kiss continued for another minute until they broke apart, panting for air and lips shiny. They both grinned at each other. "Gonna be taller than you soon." Dean teased when he realized that he didn't need to lift his gaze up any more to meet Cas' blue eyes like he used to. Cas' smile froze for a split second. If Dean didn't know him so well by now he would have missed it. Damn, he should really learn to keep his trap shut, avoid mentioning growing up or anything age related as he was well aware of Cas still wrestling with the issue. Dean placed a reassuring peck on the man's cheek and was rewarded with a smile that eased the sudden tension he had felt.
"Come on, foods ready anyway." He nudged Castiel in the side and it probably was fool's luck or fate or whatever that Sam chose that moment and not ten seconds earlier to walk in from the garden where he had been tending to his science project.
Castiel watched Dean's retreating back and cursed himself for his folly. This had been too close a call and he could not afford to be this careless with his displays of affection towards Dean, no matter how much he wanted to in the heat of the moment. There had to be rules that absolutely needed adhering to. Thankfully Sammy seemed blissfully oblivious and just wanted to know why they were both in such a good mood.
"Dean just told my brother to 'Fuck himself," Cas said for lack of a better answer, still finding the thought rather hilarious.
Sammy looked at him, wide eyed, gaze conveying the 'normally kids get told off for using language like that', then he shrugged with a smile, before dragging Cas outside with him to show him what he had done so far.
#
The next couple of weeks were a blur of end of year activities both at school and at university, home cooked dinners, weekend activities with Castiel and on one occasion Amelia, who took the boys for a day out and spoilt them rotten. Dean still had trouble to just accept a good thing when he was gifted with it and a small part of him always waited for the other shoe to drop. He just got better at ignoring it and enjoying what he had.
But all too soon it was the morning when Bobby arrived to take the brothers with him for the summer. Dean still didn't much care for going, rather would stay here with Cas and the man had even offered to Bobby to have the brothers stay. But Bobby was having none of it, saying they've been enough of a burden on Castiel already and they shouldn't overstretch his patience or hospitality.
Castiel watched as the truck drove down the road and disappeared behind the bend. He walked back into his house, which suddenly seemed all too big and quiet for Castiel's liking and for the first time in a long time he kind of felt lost.