A/N: Hi everyone. First of all thank you to the people who left me lovely reviews and favorites. I apologize for not replying but life was just so busy but they are all cherished very much. I finally settled into my new place (leaky pipe and non-compliant boiler aside) and generally have more time for such nice things as writing, so hopefully updates will be a bit more regular again from now on. That said, here's the next chapter (and it hasn't even been a month yet LOL). I hope you enjoy this next installment.
Sam was across the road and tearing through the front door of the Winchester house by the time Dean caught up with him.
"Sammy, wait." He pleaded breathlessly for his brother to slow down.
"Leave m'lone," the younger Winchester protested.
"Sammy!" Dean tried again, grabbing his brother on the sleeve of his jacket only to be shrugged off.
"Go away!" Sammy yelled as he stomped up the stairs and into their room where he threw himself on the bed, burying his head in the pillow.
"What on earth is going on?" John's voice boomed from across the hall before, but a moment later, he walked into the room.
"Boys?"
Dean flinched at his father's voice. He spun around, looking at his dad wide eyed. John's glare was shifting between his two sons, eyebrows drawn tight together in a frown. Dean gulped, continued to stare for a second before turning and locking eyes with Sammy who had lifted his head off the pillow and his slightly wet eyes trained on Dean.
"Please don't," Dean mouthed, feeling his throat go dry, heart hammering frantically. He could still see the anger in his baby brother's face and for a split second a cold chill crawled up Dean's spine as it looked like Sammy was about to say something. Oh god, no. Their dad could not find out, not like this. He silently begged his brother, eyes conveying the 'please don't say anything', underlined by a minuscule shake of his head.
"'S nothing, Dean's just being an idiot." Sammy eventually grunted and Dean felt like crying with momentary relief, but he swallowed it back.
"Son!" John said sternly, fixing Sammy with his eyes. "What did Dean do?" And just like that Dean felt like the air was being punched out of him again, his eyes never leaving his brothers'.
"Just leave me alone, all of you. I'm tired, I want to sleep." Sammy grunted before turning away, sulking into his pillow.
John stared at the form of his younger son for a long moment before shifting his attention to his eldest. "Dean? What the hell did you do?" The cold, no-nonsense tone in his voice had Dean cringe. His heart was pounding but he knew he had to say something or this all could go down south real fast, especially for Cas. "I- just a misunderstanding dad." His voice was shaky but Dean tried to reign himself in. "You know what it's like- between brothers."
"No- I actually don't. You two never fight, so again, what the hell?"
Dean had a sarcastic "How would you even know" on the tip of his tongue, but his survival instinct or fools luck must have stopped it from slipping out.
I will sort it, I promise." He said, trying for light-heartedness, meeting his dad's eyes head on despite feeling like hiding away.
"You better." John sighed and Dean had trouble hiding the surprise at his father's plain acceptance of the situation . Then again, he looked tired and worn after the day's drive and about ready to drop. "Just no more yelling, my head's hurting as it is. And get ready for bed, it's been a long day- yes, that's you too, Dean." John insisted when he saw Dean was about to say something but was quick to swallow whatever he was about to say.
"Yes, sir." Dean replied subdued, knowing when he was being shut up.
John wished them good-night and left, closing the door behind him. Dean exhaled noisily, standing lost in the middle of the room, staring at the door for a long moment. He really, really had the overwhelming urge to get back to Cas, but not sure how he could do this now with his father's orders of getting ready for bed. And he needed to talk to Sam, try to explain, make him understand. His temples were throbbing. But Cas had been pale as a sheet when Dean had left to go after Sam and as much as Dean knew he could just call or text, he needed to see him.
He sighed, chancing a glance over at Sam, who was still smashed face first into his pillow. Dean hesitated for a second before walking over to his brother's bed, sitting down at the edge.
"Thanks." he said, voice small and shaking.
"Misunderstanding right!" The younger Winchester sneered in reply, without lifting his head off pillow.
"Just let me explain, please." Dean implored.
Sam stayed unmoving and rigid for what seemed like an eternity and Dean was just about to call it a lost cause and try again tomorrow when he pulled himself up to a sitting position, arms crossed defensively across his chest. His eyes were bloodshot and he stared at Dean full of hurt.
"What's there to explain? You ruined everything and I hate you!" He hissed, barely able to contain himself, but aware that being too loud would just get their dad's attention again.
Dean visibly recoiled at the venom in his brothers' voice. "What?" He asked not sure what Sammy was getting at.
"Things were good, for the first time in years. You, me and Cas- he's always there for us. And now? You have to go and ruin it by doing that. What the hell, Dean? Cas is like family, like a dad and ugh-" Sam's eyes grew wide at his words. "Oh my god. This is just wrong!"
Dean groaned, feeling like he had just been slapped in the face. He'd suspected that Sammy had grown attached to Cas in a parental kind of way, how could he not. Cas had been there for him more than their dad over these last few years. Fuck, from his brother's perspective this must look real bad. Dean felt like a selfish bastard. He opened and closed his mouth, not really knowing how to reply. Had he ever really thought about how their relationship, if he could call it that, would affect Sammy if, or if Dean had been more realistic, when, his little brother would find out. But damn, things had worked well before, hadn't they? Nothing really changed, only that Sam now knew. Dean just needed to make him understand.
"God, Sammy. I- I get it." Sam sniggered derisively at Dean's words. "No, I really do," the older brother emphasized. "But- you have to understand it's never been like that for me. I never saw Cas like that. Cas has always been- more of a friend, a good friend and-" he gulped fishing for words. "Crap, I'm not good at this emotional stuff but- I really like him, ok. I mean like as in like like. And for some reason I don't get, he likes me back and if there is a chance of this going somewhere, I want to find out- and I'm real sorry you had to find out like this, but nothing has to change." Dean was rambling but he wanted to ram this truth into his brother's head.
Sammy sniffed, wiping his nose on his sleeve as he continued to study Dean, although, as Dean couldn't help but notice, the look on his face was slightly less hostile and more confused.
"Isn't it wrong though? I mean-" Sammy gulped. "Not the two guys thing!" He was quick to add. "But just the whole- he's so much older, an adult and you're- they warn us about stuff like that in school, it's illegal or something?"
"No it's not," Dean states emphatically, too loud and quickly reigned his voice in again. "Technically it is but- it's not to me. But that's why we can't tell anyone, not yet- that's why we didn't tell you. I know it looks shady but- Cas didn't do anything wrong, he- we-. Please can you just trust me- and Cas on this one? He's not doing anything to me I don't want." And Dean blanched at Sammy's scrunched up slightly weirded out face when he realized how that came across.
"Um- not that- we're not- just -please?" Dean stuttered.
"Still, you didn't trust me." Sammy hissed. "After all the crap we've been through, you don't trust me. You just want to take Cas and keep him to yourself and-"
"Dammit Sammy, it's more complicated than that." Dean yelled, immediately regretting it at the look of shock in his brother's face and the yell of their dad 'to keep it down, godammit,' from across the hall.
"I'm sorry. Hey," he nudged his brother who had gone back to sulking and not looking at him.
"Sammy, you know me, and you know Cas! We would never leave you out."
"That's why you ran off by yourself the second we came home, because you don't leave me out?" Came the mocking reply.
"Sorry, just- you looked tired and yes- ok, I wanted a moment alone with Cas, that doesn't mean that-"
"How long?" Sammy interrupted, now staring at his brother again, like he was trying to work out a puzzle.
"What?"
"How long have you two been - you know."
"A few months, but we're not really- like we- it's hard to explain, it's been a few months since we both admitted we liked each other." Dean cringed. "Oh god, that makes me sound like a total girl."
A barely there chuckle escaped Sammy, eyes trained at the ceiling and face squeezed in concentration as he was trying to figure out if he could pinpoint the moment when things had changed between his brother and Cas. The mere thought of his brother and his - friend, big brother figure - Sammy wasn't quite sure how to label Cas, seemed surreal. But Dean had seemed generally more relaxed and happier lately and god, he would deserve someone to look after him for a change. Sammy was not too young or naive to know how much Dean had sacrificed for him over these last few years, going without just so he could have what he needed. And now that Sam thought about it, it would also explain the sudden lack of girlfriends. Which could only mean that this was kind of a big deal for Dean. Shit!
But even with that revelation, Sammy couldn't help but feel betrayed and hurt. These were the two people closest to him and this went on for months behind his back, like he didn't count, didn't matter. Did they really think he would just go and blabber about them to other people? God, he was mad and didn't even really know why. Just that there was a knot in his stomach and he didn't like it.
"Where does that leave me? I'm just in the way now. Do you two just want to hang out with each other, and I'm stuck here by myself?"
"God no. Nothing has to change." Dean said reassuringly. "It all worked well before the holidays, didn't it? You, me and Cas, it was good, it doesn't need to change. Just, you know, dad can't find out about this."
"I'm not stupid, Dean!" Sam huffed indignantly. "I do remember how he flipped his shit when he found out you liked guys and what accusations he threw around. I can very well put two and two together and get 'pissed off dad'. Just don't expect me to be thrilled about any of this." Sammy grumbled and turned around again, letting Dean know this talk was over.
Dean sat there in silence for a minute, before begrudgingly acknowledging that for now this was probably all he could expect. "Ok, thanks, I guess- and sorry I have to ask you to keep my secret."
"Not like you asked me in the first place." Sammy huffed and made a non committal noise in his throat. Talk about feeling like crap, Dean thought. He had really screwed up with his brother here. But he would try his best to fix it, tomorrow.
Dean let out a long breath as he stared at the door, trying to work out the best possible way of sneaking out the house without their dad noticing because he still needed to go and see Cas. He'd just have to chance it.
"You're going over there now?" Sammy asked in disbelief. "Dad said to go to bed. You know you're just asking for trouble."
"I know- but I need to make sure he's ok. I kind of just left him there earlier." Dean willed his brother to understand.
"Whatever." Sammy grunted, before adding a mumbled "Just- don't let dad catch you." Dean couldn't help the flutter of hope. If his brother still cared enough for his wellbeing, he was sure they could work things out in time.
#
Castiel paced the living room floor frantically, feeling like he was about to implode. He was sure he was two seconds away from a full blown panic attack as he breathed too fast and too shallow. Thoughts were racing through his head. This would be it! It was over. That look of horror on Sammy's face, he would never forget. It was like a knife continuously twisting in his back. The younger Winchester would tell John and the man would come over here and kill him or, even worse, call the cops and he would get arrested and sent to prison. He would be branded a child-molester. Castiel could only imagine what people in prison would do to the likes of him, no questions asked. His name would be put on a register. Castiel could feel himself start to hyperventilate but he couldn't stop the onslaught of thoughts or calm his breathing.
He surely would lose his job over this, even if he wasn't sent to prison. No way any university would keep a convicted criminal on their payroll. Oh god, he was going to faint or be sick, or both. There was a jackhammer pounding against his right temple. Would it be better if he turned himself in? Maybe by doing so he could avoid the worst, after all he never had intercourse or any actual sexual contact with Dean, that surely must count for something.
The thing was, he was not like that, he didn't have some twisted hankering for underage boys, no urge to use them for quick sexual gratification, had never even looked at anyone underage in that way. Castiel had always preferred older company, sexual or otherwise, until Dean had crushed into his life. Dean was different, so mature for his age and in spite of their age difference there was a connection between them, the like of which Castiel hadn't felt with anyone before, something indescribable that somehow seemed to make the risk worthwhile. And yes, while he increasingly found Dean visually pleasing and attractive as he grew into himself, it had never been about sex but he doubted that anyone would believe him, especially with his earlier actions attesting to the contrary.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god." He mumbled sitting down on the couch and starting to rock. He needed to calm down, take some slow steadying breaths, prepare himself. Perhaps call Gabriel. Maybe his brother would understand somehow. Also how long had it been? Twenty minutes, half an hour? He had expected John to have burst through the door by now. What if he took to assaulting Dean first instead? It wouldn't be the first time. Maybe the reminder of Dean's sexuality drove him over the edge again. Castiel jumped up off the couch. Oh god, Dean. He needed to make sure he was ok.
Strangely this new thought helped him to calm down somewhat, to focus. Dean's safety was more important than his own right now. It took weeks last time until all the bruises had healed and he would not want to see Dean beaten up like that again. He had to go over there and check, consequences be damned. Castiel took in a deep breath, walked into the hallway, pulled on the first pair of shoes he could find and fumbled for the keys in his coat pocket when the doorbell made him jump. Oh god! This was it!
Just wanting it all to be over, he resisted the momentary urge to just run and hide and opened the door with trepidation, letting out a massive breath when he saw Dean standing there.
"Oh god Dean, are you ok?" He took Dean's face in his hands, turning it from side to side, checking for any bruising or signs of a physical altercation.
"You're ok?" He asked again, not letting go of the boy, when Dean didn't say anything.
"Yes. Yes, I'm fine. But you don't look too good." Dean took in Cas' form, the man was shaking and still pale as a ghost. "Let's get you inside."
"But-" Castiel protested weakly, not comprehending why Dean was here, unharmed. This didn't make sense. At the same time he could feel himself deflate, all the fight leaving him. The room around him started to spin.
"It's alright. Everything's ok. Sammy will be ok- we'll be ok!" Dean assured the man and had to catch Cas around his waist when he seemed to fold in on himself.
"Oh god." Cas whimpered as Dean dragged him inside, this time making sure the door closed properly. He lead Cas into the living room, where he made him sit, and took a seat next to him before pulling him in for a hug. Dean probably needed it just as much as Cas and he unashamedly molded himself against the man's body, pressing his face against his chest, feeling like crying but refusing to let the tears take over.
"What happened?" Castiel eventually asked.
"Sammy's upset but I'm sure he'll come around. I talked to him."
"So he didn't tell-"
"No, dad doesn't know, and it will stay like that." Dean emphasized, raising his head to look at Castiel.
"Hey, look at me. I promise it will stay like that, just don't-" Dean swallowed.
"Don't what?"
"I dunno, call this off or something, just because I was stupid and forced you into doing something you clearly stated was off the menu for the time being."
And Castiel's heart ached at the sudden pain and anxiety in the teenager's voice. This was not a healthy basis for any kind of relationship if every time Castiel freaked out, rightly or otherwise, Dean would be fearful of just being cast aside. And he'd be damned, but one thing Castiel realized in that instant with a blinding clarity was that even if tonight it would have all gone belly up, his feelings for Dean would not have changed. Maybe it was just a sign of some slow descent into madness, leaving all common sense behind, but the again, love often was without reason or rhyme.
"Hey," He placed the palm of his hands on Dean's jaw, stroking his chin with his thumb. "Dean, listen very carefully. I will not just leave you! Call me crazy but I want this to go somewhere, and you have to believe me on this. I really care for you and I enjoy your company immensely, that will not change, no matter what the circumstances." And Castiel could feel the word right there, on the tip of his tongue, yet for some unbeknown reason it did not come. He rested his forehead against Dean's. "Yes, things went too far tonight but it is as much my fault as yours, maybe even moreso, because really I should know better than to let myself get carried away like that, knowing what is at stake- have better control over myself."
"But Cas, you can't always blame yourself for when-"
"But I do! I feel like I am responsible for both our actions, maybe it's not fair on me- or on you, but it is how I feel. I need this safety net."
"Ok." Dean conceded, resting his head against Cas' shoulders. He had no idea what pressure Castiel must feel under because of this thing between them and maybe, if Dean had any willpower, he would call this off for both their sakes, but he was selfish and he didn't want to envisage a life without Cas or even with just some of Cas. Plus the man just said he wanted this to go somewhere. That was reason enough for Dean to try and make this work, odds be damned.
Cas placed a gentle peck on the top of Dean's head. "Let's just learn from this and find ways to cope because I can tell you- this" he pointed between the two "It will not get easier with time."
Dean let the words sink in, nodding his head after a moment. He could keep a hold on himself. Had to if he didn't want to risk putting Cas in danger. No matter how much he desired the man he was currently pressed against, wanted to experience all the wonderful things he had been fantasizing about, the memory of earlier would just have to do for a while, serve him as jerk off fodder for the near future. It would have to be enough for him keep his urges at bay. Because if he was being honest, even now he could feel his body react to Cas' presence, the need to just feel and touch and taste, making his body strum with want. He wondered whether Castiel felt the same pull. If he pleasured himself with Dean in his thoughts, but he didn't want to pry. These were murky waters at best and anything sexual needed to be kept out of their relationship for now.
"So back to basics?" Dean suggested.
"That would probably the best for now. Especially with Sammy in mind. It's not just about the two of us any longer." Castiel agreed.
"Yeah, of course." Sammy! Dean really hoped his brother would come around and more importantly, keep their secret safe. It pained him to have to put this on Sammy but they had no other option now. He sighed, suddenly feeling worn out and tired.
Castiel must have misread his reaction as frustration at him and he cradled his face in his hands before pulling him against him. "Hey, we still will spent time together, just like before." Castiel said reassuringly.
"I know and I'd like that. Just- I guess it's been a long day, and Sammy is most likely still upset. Probably should head back. You going to be ok?"
"Yes." Castiel stated and actually meant it. His panic had mostly dissipated. Now he was just bone crushingly tired. He got up and pulled Dean up with him. He didn't let go of the boy's hand but intertwined their fingers as he walked Dean to the front-door. Dean squeezed his hand and held on tight like he was afraid Cas would let go at any moment.
"See you tomorrow." Castiel said like a promise, placing a quick peck on Dean's lips before opening the door.
"Tomorrow." Dean replied, smiling and feeling more at ease again. If Castiel wanted to reassure him with his small gestures of comfort he had definitely succeeded. Dean's heart felt light and hopeful as he quickly made his way across the street, and quietly entered his own house, relieved to find it in darkness. It appeared he got away with sneaking out. Sammy was curled up under his duvet and fast asleep when he tiptoed into their room. Dean couldn't help the smile tugging on his lips at the sight. He was certain his little brother would come around. He would show Sammy that nothing had to change, and somehow they all would make this work until Dean was old enough for Cas and him to have an open and proper relationship.
#
In the end it took Sammy almost two weeks before he showed his face at Castiel's place again. Those had probably been two of the most tense weeks Dean had ever had to live through, especially as he had been at a loss at how to fix the situation. The first week was the worst, as Sammy just sulked around the house, not talking to anyone and avoiding Dean like the plague. Their father, in his newfound attempt at fatherhood, tried to intervene, unbeknowingly only making matters more tense as the brothers ended up not only avoiding each other but their father as well for fear of accidentally spilling the beans. This led to all kinds of probing on their father's part as normally his sons provided a pretty united front and an increasingly sour atmosphere at home.
At least Dean had the advantage of being able to escape to Castiel's. In fact, he got to spent plenty of time at the man's place, with Cas, just the two of them, while his brother spent his late afternoons and evening hiding in their shared room, probably grateful Dean wasn't around. Dean knew his dad was not thrilled about his time spent at Cas' but thankfully he kept his dislike quiet as long as Dean would turn back up home in time for dinner, which John insisted they'd all eat together these days.
In reality though, it wasn't as much time spent with each other but more both of them inhabiting the same space at the same time. Castiel was busy with preparing for the start of the new semester, and as much as he said he was fine, Dean knew that the fact Cas didn't get the tenancy he'd hoped for was gnawing at him. Not that his friend had to worry about his employment, he had accepted a three year contract as a lecturer for the history department. Dean chanced a guess that it was more hurt pride or some weird kind of competitive streak, or the legacy of Cas still wanting to please his parents, despite not having spoken to them in almost two months, or some other crap. But that disappointment combined with the constant underlying worry about what might or might not happen with regards to Sammy hanging over them like a Damocles sword, meant that Cas really wasn't faring too well. He tried not to show it but Dean could read his older friend pretty well these days.
Combined with his own anxiety over junior year, the unresolved Sammy situation and life at large, Dean felt like he had been thrown in an emotional tumble dryer. He might have had the odd cigarette, from a pack he had stashed in the back of his wardrobe, despite having given up on the habit a while ago, and if Cas noticed he didn't say anything, for which Dean was thankful.
After a whole week, which felt like a year, of avoiding Dean, Sam finally broke one evening and asked Dean if his thing with Cas was serious, taking Dean's answer of 'Yes' at face value, nodding his head and going back to the schoolwork he was in the middle off. Dean assumed his brother needed time to work things out in his head and was just relieved Sammy was acknowledging his existence again.
They hardly spoke for that second week and then, Monday afternoon, Sammy just turned up at Castiel's doorstep, ringing the bell instead of using his key, like he didn't want to intrude, and with a grunt for a 'Hello' walked into the kitchen and started on his homework. Castiel was up in his study where he brooded over lecture plans and Dean had his own homework to do, albeit reluctantly, and planted himself down next to his brother. And just like that, it all somehow slotted back into place. The only indication of there being anything different was Sammy's exclamation of 'This is weird' when Dean and Cas had gazed at each other for slightly longer than was considered appropriate while they were preparing some coffee, for which it apparently took two people these days. Dean and Cas hadn't quite known how to react but Sammy just rolled his eyes and focused on his book again, leaving them to it and for the first time in weeks Dean really let himself believe that this all had a chance of working out.
If it hadn't been for school Dean would have even said that he was happy. But junior year proved to be an seemingly endless strings of assignments and homework and tests and talks about if and what colleges he should think of applying to. Dean felt overwhelmed by the sheer volume of it, and didn't see the point of it anyway, as he could never see himself go off to college, much preferring practical hands on work to all this pointless book knowledge.
He considered to just calling it a day more than once, when frustration got the better of him. Not helped by his teachers generally not expecting much of him and in his mind validating what he already knew to be true. He would never really get far in life, not academic wise at least. If it was for him he'd just do his GED when he turned 17 and be done with it, focusing on earning some money instead. He wanted to support his family, aka Sammy, and make sure he didn't have to worry about money ever again and being able to afford to pay for his college education, as there was no doubt in Dean's mind that, unlike him, that was exactly where his brother would be heading.
Castiel tried to gently nudge him ever so often, telling him how bright he was, and as much as Dean appreciated the sentiment behind it, it irritated him on a regular basis. They had gotten into a good few arguments over it, Castiel passionately urging Dean on while Dean pushed him away with words and silence.
Then one regretful evening, Dean yelled at him that he was not his dad, regretting the words as soon as they had left his mouth. It had been a stupid, mindless thing to say. Something you hurl at someone without thinking but Cas looked stunned and had left the kitchen without another word. Talk about pouring salt onto an open wound. Sammy had stared at him for what felt like hours, before shaking his head with a "what the hell, Dean?" Like Dean needed reminding that he screwed up! He fucking well knew about Cas' issues with their age gap, and that in the man's ear this must have been a particularly low blow. But he was just so furious after a shit day at school and an essay that needed handing in the next day that he just came out with the first thing that came to his mind, just to shut Cas up.
It had been tense between them for the days that followed, no matter how much Dean apologized and Cas outwardly accepted his apologies. Cas pointedly avoided mentioning anything school work related and generally kept things casual and that, if anything, was even worse. And Dean didn't know how to make it right again. Didn't know what to say to undo the damage. He hated every second of them dancing around each other like that. It felt they were back to before, when Castiel had desperately tried to keep Dean strictly in the 'friends-zone'.
Castiel didn't share any of his internal monologues with Dean about how that one little stupid sentence, said out of spite, had propelled him into a deep crisis. He questioned everything about himself, and worse, about Dean and his motives for being attracted to him, for wanting to be close. Castiel thought that maybe he had it all wrong and Dean was really only looking for a father figure, being as he didn't really have one to speak of over these last years and somehow confused this with attraction for the older man. And would that mean that he was taking advantage of the boy? Thirteen years was an awfully big age-gap, even once Dean would be of age. And yes, his brother's words, albeit spoken years ago and out of spite, were ringing in Castiel's ears, although he would never believe Dean capable of consciously using other people like that.
All this doubt and hurt had led to him tiptoeing around Dean, not sure what to say or how to interact all of a sudden, while hating the look his actions put on the teenager's face and wanting nothing more than to pull him into a hug and forget this ever happened.
It was Sammy, who somehow seemed to be the most mature of all of them, who snapped them out of it eventually. He grumbled in frustration one afternoon, when Dean and Cas were being all passive aggressive again, and told them both to sort out their shit ("language, Sammy!"). But it did get them to, in fact, sort shit out. They ended up talking and Cas, to his own surprise, even shared his very real hurt over the comment and Dean assured him that he never, ever saw him like that. In the end it felt good to hug it out and to connect again. Dean agreed to ask for help when he felt like he didn't get something and Cas promised to not be too overbearing in his general encouragement.
Still, some of Cas' belief in him must have slowly trickled through, as Dean more often than not found himself engrossed in his homework, and even, after some serious buckling down, came back with 90% on his latest math's test, to the chagrin of his teacher who, if anyone, should have been pleased about Dean's sudden improvement, but seemed more interested in trying to find out whether he cheated or not. Apparently his short brush with the law and his address were enough for people to write him off.
The only thing that Dean enjoyed at school was the new basketball season. He was promoted to team captain after almost single handedly winning them the first game of the season. Coach Baxter was one of the few teachers he slowly developed some kind of respect for as he was tough but fair, something Dean appreciated and could work with.
Sammy and Cas made a point of coming to all of his games and tonight was the last match before the Christmas break and even his old man showed up. Dean felt a weird urge to do extra well. He just wanted to show his dad he was good at something, something he would approve off at least. Sports was one of the few things he and his dad could share. Also he had no idea why he still felt the need to impress him at all, but John had been more of a father to them over these last few months, flawed as it still was, than the last five years. Maybe a small part of Dean was starting to mellow, letting his guard down and thinking that against his better judgment, this time John, with the help of Bobby and those support groups, really had turned a corner.
The game was grueling and they narrowly managed to win by 4 points, thanks to two last minute throws by Dean. Yeah he was good at this sport and loved every second of the crowd cheering and high-fiving his team mates. The only downside was that while everyone else could sprint off to their respective girlfriends to share in their joy, Dean had to make due with a glance and a smile at the stands, and he couldn't even do that too blatantly as his dad was right there, next to Sammy who was next to Cas. The man gave him a small wave of acknowledgment in return and John nodded his approval while Sammy was shouting his name and grinning like an idiot.
His team-mates were slapping his shoulders, praising him for a game well played and he found himself surrounded by three cheerleaders who were all batting their eyelashes at him, asking whether he would be at the party later. He smiled and winked and flirted half-heartedly, trying to adhere to some weird notion of what he thought was expected of him. He didn't even really know why, but it was easier than trying to explain that he just wasn't interested and was actually taken. He had come to realize that this was generally sufficient, keeping them entertained just enough that they thought they might have a shot without ever actually following through.
What Dean hadn't quite accounted for was the fact that this apparently 'coy' behavior would give him some kind of appeal and propel him to the number one spot of guys girls wanted to date. Apparently getting with Dean Winchester had become some kind of challenge for the female population of South Healey High. Dean mumbled a non-committal 'maybe' accompanied by a wink and excused himself, but not before one of the cheerleaders, a pretty brunette, whispered into his ear that she could make it worth his while.
He just wanted to get out of here and spent whatever was left of the evening with Cas, if he could get away from his dad that was. It had been a hectic week and he hardly spent more than five minutes with the man. But his team-mates wouldn't let up on him joining them and also they had increasing issues as to his reluctance to date any of the girls. 'What has happened to you, man, you used to be all over them," was asked more than once, which Dean generally ignored or replied to with a shrug.
Tonight was no different. Dean was tired of this shit and gave some pointless reply along the lines of that the cheerleaders bored him. Of course that was when the inevitable "How can pussy bore you? Don't say you're playing for the other team now" was hurled at him for the first time. As jokingly as it was said, it jarred Dean. Not necessarily because he was scared as such of the label 'Gay', he had survived John Winchester's wrath after all, these guys were small fish in comparison. But more because that might lead to other questions which eventually might lead to Cas and he couldn't afford for anyone to go there. Plus strictly speaking, he was not gay but try and get that into the head of these Neanderthals. Dean knew a lost cause when he saw one. So he said that he would see what he could do about tonight, to the laughs and shoulder slaps of his team-mates. If it took some stupid party and flirting with some girls to get them off his back, Dean would reluctantly do so, anything for a quiet life.
Dean texted Sammy to keep their dad occupied as he needed a moment with Cas. He didn't like asking his brother for these favors but it had come in handy once or twice in that past. Sammy, to Dean's great relief, seemed to have come round from reluctant acknowledgement to plain acceptance of his relationship with Cas, because his brother was just awesome like that. He even told them once or twice that they didn't need to be quite so distant with each other when he was around. It probably had a lot do with both Cas and Dean making an extra effort so Sammy didn't feel left out when they were all together.
Dean told his team-mates he would meet them at the party before leaving the locker room, heading out of the building on a mission to intercept Cas before he would make it to his car.
"Hey," Dean smiled as he spotted Cas and Sammy walking towards the parking lot. John was about two feet ahead, veering off to the right towards the Impala. They had come in two cars, as Cas had come straight from work and also, him and John sharing a vehicle, not so much. John merely tolerated the other man's existence and his apparent involvement in his sons' lives, but he made no secret of the fact that he was not too comfortable with it. Dean more than once was about two seconds away from putting his old man straight about this. During moments when he felt especially protective of Cas and what the man meant to him, and to Sammy. Something their father should damn well acknowledge and show this man some respect. After all, he had been the one who was there for his kids without fail over these years, while John was out somewhere or other, drunk off his head. But Dean never did, mainly out of fear of accidentally putting John's nose where it didn't belong. Didn't' mean that he was happy with his father's behavior.
Cas and Sam turned around, both waving in greeting. Sammy gave his older brother a quick nod of understanding that he had received his earlier text, before heading after their dad, no idea what riveting conversation he might be able to engage him in but he would think of something. He just hoped that whatever Dean and Cas had so urgently to discuss would not take too long, and above all that his idiot of a brother would be careful. It was hard to miss the way his face lit up at the sight of their friend these days. Sammy wondered how he could have ever missed something so obvious or maybe Dean's heart eyes just gotten worse over these last few months. Cas at least was able to keep a poker face, well most of the time anyway.
Dean grinned almost shyly and pulled Cas along by his sleeve until they were shielded away from sight in a quiet corner behind the sports hall.
They both smiled at each other, and it was one of those moments where both hated that they had to be so careful about any interaction as it was clearly written on both their faces that what they really wanted to do was embrace each other.
"That was a very enjoyable game." Castiel chuckled, nudging Dean's shoulder with his own.
"Maybe because you finally understand all the rules." Dean teased.
"Yes, most certainly. It is still regrettable that my parents preferred to introduce us to such boring games as football and baseball, ignoring to focus on finer aspects of basketball." Cas chortled. He of course had known the basics of the game but never until now had taken a real interest in this particular sport. Clearly that had changed. "Or maybe it has to do with a certain Power Forward." Cas smirked and Dean could feel his face heat up.
"Shut up." He scolded playfully. God he so did not want to go to that stupid party, with these stupid brainless idiots but rather go back and curl up with Cas on the couch, no matter how lame that sounded. But he had already agreed and also he knew if he didn't show his face tonight the questions just would keep coming.
"Cas, look, I know I said I'd come back to yours but-"
Castiel nodded, still smiling. "Dean, I've been to high school and while I was not on any of the teams, I know about the concept of celebratory parties after a successful match."
Dean nodded relieved that he didn't need to go into some long-winded speech. "Man, you know I'd rather go back with you, right?"
"Just go and enjoy yourself. You're only in high school once." Cas was actually relieved Dean wanted to go off with his peers. He sometimes felt like it was due to him that Dean kept himself to himself so much and as much as their time together was precious, it could not be healthy for the teenager to cut himself off like that. He needed to experience aspects of teenage life Castiel would not be able to provide. Also a small part of him thought that if Dean had fun with people his own age and then still chose him, their relationship would have a better chance of succeeding.
"Yeah, ok, old man." Dean teased, then clamped him mouth shut, eyes wide. Shit he'd done it again.
Castiel, to Dean's surprise, threw his head back in quiet laughter before looking at him fondly. "It's ok Dean, really." Cas smiled, and it really was ok. Their talk a few weeks ago had helped Castiel to face up to some things. Mainly the reality that he was older and had to stop being so hung up over that fact, and moreover not be butt hurt every time Dean took a jab at it, especially when it was said in such a fond way as it just had been.
Dean was beaming now. It felt like they just had turned some kind of invisible corner and it felt good. He quickly chanced a look to the right and the left and when he was positive that there was no one nearby, leaned in, placing a quick closed mouth kiss on Cas' lips.
"See you tomorrow?"
"You know where to find me." Cas said with a wink and Dean chuckled in the affirmative. They emerged from their hiding place a moment later, not able to take their eyes off each other. There was a crowd of people just outside the building, and shouts of "Hey Dean, you need a ride?" were pulling them back to the here and now.
"Yeah, sure." Dean yelled back. "Bye Cas." He said before jogging over to his team-mates, throwing a quick glance back over his shoulder, watching Cas head towards his car. It appeared John and Sammy had already headed off home. He would just have to call his dad to tell him that he would be back late.
"Who was that?" One of his friends asked, nodding in Castiel' direction.
"Oh- that's-" Dean gulped, trying to will away the blush that threatened to creep up his face.
"Just a friend." He shrugged his shoulders non-committal and prayed he got away with it.
"You have weird friends, Winchester. I think it's time we showed you how to have a good time."
"Yeah, right." Dean laughed. They all piled into a fancy 4 by 4 that Dean had no idea who it belonged to, but didn't really care. As long as people won't be asking stupid questions and poke in his personal business, he'd play nice.
As always feedback is love and more than welcomed :) . I especially hope you liked my take on Sammy and how he took the situation. Now off to finish off the next chapter (which I seriously cannot wait to give to you)