Present Day: Washington, DC

"The only barrier was you."

Fitz started to reply and then closed his mouth quickly. She was right. She was always right. Had he really let 5 years go without her?

"I screwed up. I'm sorry."

Olivia sighed and looked at him. "It's okay, Fitz. We had our chance and it didn't work. Sometimes things just don't work out."

"Olivia, please give me another chance. I have spent five long years without you. I was searching and searching for what would make me happy and I stopped one day and realized that the problem was the only thing that ever made me truly happy was being with you. The man I am without you... I am nothing and you... you are everything. I have spent five years running from being happy. I am sick of running."

"Fitz..."

"We are worth another chance, Olivia."

5 Years Earlier: Santa Barbara, California

"Fitzgerald, I don't know what good you think will come from divorcing me but you are being ridiculous. Stop playing games. We have a function tonight."

Fitz sighed and shifted the phone to his other ear. "I am not playing games, Mellie. I want a divorce."

"You're acting like a child!"

"Why, Mellie? Because I want the chance to be happy? Because I am sick of pretending!? Because I don't want to take part in this ridiculous charade anymore!?"

"I made you," she screamed so loudly he had to pull the phone back from his ear. "I picked you up after your monster of a father tore you down and cleaned you up. You would be nothing without me!" She was hissing now and Fitz was certain he could hear fire leaving her mouth.

"Mellie..."

"No. NO! You listen to me, Fitzgerald. I have had enough. You made a commitment to me and you will keep it or I promise you will rue the day you met me!"

Click.

Fitz stood and looked out the window of his condo. When he bought the unit years ago, he told Mellie that it was a good investment and would be great for hosting parties. It was after all a prime party spot, private beach access and all. The truth though was that even then, before they married, he was unhappy and needed something all his own. A safe place to hide when the pressures of being Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III became too much to bare. There had been a couple of really good parties held there but he mostly used the space as a getaway. A place he could pretend he wasn't a man in a dead marriage.

As he stood and gazed upon the rolling waves, he thought of Olivia. She had come into his life and hit him like a tidal wave. He suddenly was no longer content with the web of lies and unhappiness he had been perpetually stuck in. No, now he craved freedom. He wanted to give love and get love with a woman who wanted him for him. Not because he was handsome or undeniably rich. Olivia Pope didn't love him because of all that. He suspected she loved him inspite of those traits. Olivia loved the man inside. The man who had a jealous streak and loved a good debate. The man who wanted to help people and loved children. The man who despite his height was extraordinarily bad at basketball. She loved his brain and his heart, not his looks and his wallet.

Fitz sighed and walked away from the window. What kind of coward was I to marry Mellie and not wait for Olivia Pope to come along, he thought. He was a coward. His father had told him that most of his life. He believed it too for so long. He went along with the grand master plan, college, law school, join the firm, marry Mellie. All for what? So he could spend the rest of his life in his father's shadow. And Mellie, she was just like his dad and that's why she was refusing to agree to a divorce. As far as she was concerned he was the coward his father believed him to be. In her eyes he was a child to be tamed.

Fitzgerald Grant did not want to be tamed anymore. He wanted to be free and wild. He wanted Olivia Pope. He sat down and took a long sip from the tumbler of scotch in his hand. He turned the glass around and around watching how the expensive crystal glittered in the mid-afternoon sunlight. He didn't feel worthy of Olivia Pope. Fitz knew that this was hurting her. That despite the hard exterior she showed, underneath she was scared. Underneath she was nervous. He felt selfish for telling her how he felt all those months ago. He didn't deserve Olivia.

He took another sip of scotch and rolled his neck, trying desperately to get out the permanent kink that resided there. Maybe he was a coward like everyone thought.

Five Years Earlier: Boston, Massachusetts

Olivia sighed and sat down on the bed in her dorm room. It had been a little over a week since her last talk with Fitz and she couldn't get past the roiling in her gut telling her that something was wrong. To make matters worse, Fitz had been sullen and distant. When they did talk, he sounded sad and would often tell her he didn't deserve her.

She wished wholeheartedly to take away his pain but she couldn't. She couldn't even contact him when she wanted to. Her gut was telling her that he was freaking out. That the pressure of what they were dealing with was eating him alive. The worst part was she couldn't fix it.

Olivia picked up a picture of the two of them off her bedside table and stared at it fondly. It was taken before they ever confirmed their feelings for each other but the love between them was evident. She had set her camera to take a burst of photos so they could attempt to get a good picture of them. In this particular photo, she was smiling at the camera, eyes large and bright. Fitz was facing the camera and a smile graced his perfect lips but his eyes, oh those eyes, were firmly rested on Olivia. It was like he was soaking her in.

She ran her fingertips delicately over the glass and then put the picture down. Standing, she smoothed invisible wrinkles from her shirt and dried the tears from her eyes. She had to get to class and she couldn't, no wouldn't, allow herself to dwell any longer.

Olivia's phone began to ring as she walked back from class days later. She fished her phone out of her purse and saw Fitz's name come across the screen.

"Livvie," he sighed. "Hi."

"Hi," she said softly. "What's wrong?"

"You deserve so much better than me," he said. She heard his words slur, just barely but it was there.

"Fitz, are you drunk? Its 10am there."

"I'm a broken, man, Livvie. I don't deserve you. Livvie, amazing Livvie. You are perfect and beautiful and I am nothing. I'm a nobody."

"Oh, Fitz," she said quietly as she sat on a nearby bench.

"I don't deserve you," he whispered.

"Fitz, listen to me," she said forcefully. "You... you are amazing and kind. You deserve to be happy."

"I'm not a whole man without you."

"Fitz. Go lay down. You are drunk and not thinking clearly. Take a nap. Clear your head."

5 Years Earlier: Santa Barbara, California

Fitz awoke from his nap and rolled over in bed, groaning when his head pounded in protest. He felt like such and idiot for calling Olivia earlier but he needed her voice at that moment. It was self imposed torture to love her and have her so far away. In that moment he needed to twist the knife just a little bit more.

He looked over at his phone to see that he had a message and a couple missed calls. He checked the calls first and they were from Mellie, threatening voice mails attached. The text was from Olivia.

Show them who you are.

He smiled and sat up slowly in bed, holding his palm to his head in an effort to stop the pounding. Who am I, he thought. His father and Mellie obviously thought he was nothing and Olivia thought he was everything. He wasn't sure who was right.

He swiped his finger across the screen and scrolled until he found the number he was looking for. Taking a deep breath, he pressed dial and brought the phone to his ear.

"Yes, thank you again. Have a good afternoon."

Fitz hung up the phone and stood from his seat at the kitchen table. As he walked towards the patio doors to look at the ocean he dialed a familiar number and waited for the sweet sounds of her voice to fill his ears.

"Feeling better," Olivia said when she picked up.

"Much. Thanks to you."

"To me or to advil?"

He laughed then and opened the door, opting to sit outside. "Hi."

"Hi."

"I called to let you know that I did it."

"Did it? Did what? Fitz did she..."

"Mellie was refusing to be reasonable about this. She wouldn't even entertain the thought of divorce."

"So what did you do?"

"I filed."

"You... what?"

"I filed for divorce with the State of California. Mellie will be served in the morning."

Fitz woke up the next morning around six am and jumped out of bed. The lawyer had promised him that the papers would be delivered to Mellie at exactly nine and he had far too much nervous energy to possibly stay in bed. He attempted to distract himself with going to the gym or reviewing a brief. Nothing worked though. He was a ball of nervous energy. He had no idea how Mellie was going to act and that made him nervous. The woman was a live wire.

He tapped his pen on the the table and watched as the clock ticked away slowly.

5 Years Earlier: Boston, Massachusetts

Olivia was having a staring contest with the clock in her classroom. That was the only way to describe what she did as she waited for the clock to strike noon so she could leave. She was expecting a phone call from Fitz after the papers were officially delivered to Mellie. The battle was won when the clocks hands hit twelve and Olivia nearly jumped out of her seat at the professor's dismissal.

She was half way across campus when her cellphone rang and she answered it without even looking at the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hi," he said and she could hear the relief in his voice.

"Hi."

"I just got the call," he continued. She could hear the smile in his warm voice. "The papers were delivered to Mellie a few minutes ago."

"How do you feel," she asked cautiously.

"Weird, good. Hey could you hold on one second, I've got a call beeping in."

"Mmmhmm." Olivia continued walking back to her dorm as she talked to Fitz and walked back into her room right as he switched lines. She sat down on her bed as she waited for him to return and thought about how big of a moment this was. She had been getting more and more nervous that he wouldn't actually go through with it. This was right around the time that most guys just up and left her. But he had up until now been wonderful, a little distant at times, but overall wonderful. She leaned back against the wall and let herself begin to wonder what a future with him could be like. She was daydreaming about houses with picket fences and babies with grey eyes when his voice interrupted her.

"Livvie?"

She sat up straight at the shaken tone of his voice and suddenly felt her gut lurch. "Yeah?"

"I have to go. My wife... she got into an accident. I... I have to get to the hospital."

Click

A/N I hope you liked Chapter 4. I had a lot of trouble getting this chapter just the way I wanted it so I hope it's alright. Chapter 5 will be up soon and that will unfortunately be the end. Although you may get lucky and get an epilogue. Mostly because I can't decide on where to end this story. Leave me reviews. :)