A Hundred Snippets
By: PaperPlanes14
Summary: a hundred song-fics/one-shots that feature our CCS characters
Disclaimer: I do not own CCS (CLAMP) and the song "Hurricane" (Halsey)
AN: Took me so long to update. Sorry ya'll.
Song: Hurricane - Halsey
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Hurricanes – Entry 2
The darkness was almost blinding- almost. The cold almost made me shiver- almost. I've grown numb. Is it because of the morphine? Or is it because there's just too much? I looked around, sighing, the different lights of the park might've seemed beautiful if he was here, it would've all seemed like a scene out of the movie. If only. I lit my cigarette, blowing out smoke, the beautiful curling whisps seemed like a painting of some sort, I painting of sorrow, anguish, depression... and hate. I wandered here in the park, taking a whiff of the cigarette in hand and a sip from my alcohol.
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Syaoran, why'd you have to leave? This little flower ain't that pure anymore. Wandering from street to street, wasting the money of my dead parents. I was shaking now, still trying to steady my breathing. I can't believe it, what happened to this sweet flower? As I walked unsteadily, some guy walked right past me, whistling as he eyed me up and down. I stopped he had brown tussled hair, similar to Syaoran's, only, it was fake. I tilt my head and observe him. He also had tanned skin, and such a lean built… right then, something clicked inside me. I momentarily brushed the thought of Syaoran's absence and imagined he was this random guy, my being needy forced me to do what I did next. I inched my leather mini skirt up in the process, he was so predictable. I could feel his eyes bulge at the sight. I walked to him, the man who reminded me of Syaoran, I bit my lips seductively and pulled his collar towards me. Before I knew it, I kissed the man crazy. I was desperate, I needed this, I needed this to forget. I felt his hands snaking around my figure, caressing every part, I returned the same hunger, pushing myself against him. I crunched my eyebrows and pulled away, a tear cascading down my cheek. So just as easily as I left my family, I left him there dumbfounded. I walked rather tipsy all the way to the swing at Penguin Park and took another swig at my bottle of beer, the feeling of melancholy enveloping me.
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There's this storm. A storm that started, ever since, he decided to board that plane. I could still remember how my brother held me back and how I accidentally hurt my father, sending him to the hospital. I ran away a couple of weeks after that. After years of aimlessly wandering about, I got the news that my parents died and my brother lost hope for me. He said I was a lost cause. A lost cause! I put my hands on my face, tears were threatening to fall... I laughed, but those were nothing compared to when my Syaoran left. The pain of being left behind by the one you love. The sensation of being spooned on a cold night all gone, the feeling of being taken by him, and only by him, my Syaoran. A couple of people passed by me, even though it must've been near midnight already, it was either they looked at me with pity, lust or pure disgust. A lady even spat at me once. So tell me, can I even be redeemed?
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Take my hand, save me, Syaoran. From this wreck for a life. Sobs began to rack my body, my own arms hugging myself, trying hard to block out the cold, while I was sitting on the swing we used to play on, when we were still unaffected and untouched by the horrible faces of reality. I could still remember that time when I got thrown off this swing and got injured, Syaoran took me home riding on his back and oh that Valentines, I cradled my head, I finally confessed and he swept me off my feet with a kiss, my first kiss. Those seemed like another lifetime. I held out my hands in front of me, trying to grasp on that reality instead. I wanted to scream, scream my heart out but, that wouldn't make a difference wont it?
"I can go ahead and just die."
The cigar on my hand lay heavy, I used it on my hand to burn a mark, a permanent mark on my wrist, on my pulse, forever reminding me of the pain.
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Tsch. I pounded at my head with a fist, he decided that I wasn't worth it, he left me for the money, for him to have a bright future, leaving me in the gutter. Am I that disgusting? I want to repress the sadness but still loving the depression, this doesn't confuse me anymore, for the drugs I take clear my mind. They provide me with momentary happiness. Ha! I spat at the ground, I've decided. Forget about it, forget about the thought of finding me. I chuckled, composing myself, sliding my hand on my face and taking another sip of alcohol and a whiff from the cigarette ... I will never be found.
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AN: The next one's going to be light, since I've been writing such sad Snippets. Imma hold the emo back, for a bit. Lol. Also! Thank you to catspats31 for informing me about my violation of a guideline, really appreciate it, I've deleted the lyrics of the song from the story! :D . Please do comment thy thoughts and let me know if there are any more issues.