2010
"I'm sorry, what were we talking about?" Barney said returning to the booth. Ted had been sat alone on his phone deep in thought until Barney sat back down. "We were talking about Robin's 30th" Ted replied as he put his phone in his back pocket. Barney sighed and said "ugh, still?" he collapsed back in the booth faking exhaustion. Barney cared about Robin, a lot, but he couldn't help but cringe as he thought about how she's been recently.
One week ago
Barney casually opened the door to Ted and Robin's apartment, not bothering to knock, he thought of the place as something of a second home or a hideout for when crazy chicks found their way back to his place. "Hey- ah!" Barney stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Robin. She was sat on the couch surrounded by mountains of junk food and used tissues. Her hair was a uncombed forrest barely concealing numerous Cheetos and other likely expired snacks. She looked up at him and smiled, revealing teeth stained with what appeared to be caramel. "My god!" Barney yelled looking away. "Oh haha, I know I've let myself go a little but that's getting old" Robin replied, tired of Barney's constant mocking. Barney stared at the door wondering if he should leave. He turned back and realised he was being kind of a jerk. "You're right, I'm sorry" he said "but uh, I should be heading out"
"Wait, would you mind... Just sitting with me for a minute" Robin asked, silently begging him with her eyes. Barney turned back and sighed, he would have to suck it up, Robin was his friend, she'd do the same for him, heck, she did do the same for him, he thought back to the Christmas of 2006 when she looked after him when he was 'overflowing with awesome'. "Sure" he smiled heading to the couch to sit down next to her. He gazed at the TV and laughed to himself as he recognised the set of Million Dollar Heads or Tales. It was a stupid show, but he couldn't help but find the coin flip bimbos hot. He cringed as he sniffed, his nose took in a foul smell he couldn't even begin to identify. "What is that smell?" he asked, trying not to sound disgusted. "Haha, I don't know" she laughed. 'Boy, Don did a real number on her' he thought to himself. Robin yawned and began to stretch, which caused Barney to be met with a host of new horrific smells, his face began to twitch until he could stand it no more. He rose to his feet and began to head to the door. "Sorry, Robin, I have to go, big thing at work" he said.
"Wait..." Robin replied causing Barney to stop and turn round. "What's wrong?" he asked. Robin stared back at him for a moment before saying "nothing, it's stupid"
"Alright" Barney smiled at her before heading out the door.
One week later
"Yes still, this is a big deal!" Ted yelled. Barney sighed, why couldn't Ted be as cool as him. "No it's not, face it, not everyone is like us, most people dread their 30ths" he replied, hoping Ted would drop it. Ted shook his head and stared off into the distance, silently contemplating something. "But it is possible to have a good 30th, look at us!" He said breaking the silence. Barney pulled a confused face and raised his hand. "You had a good 30th birthday?" Barney said confused. When Ted nodded Barney looked away in disgust. "Really because from what I remember you didn't even attend your 30th birthday party!" He yelled. Now Ted was the one confused "Uh? Yeah, I did"
"Uh, no, remember..."
2008
"But, Ted...seriously, this suite at the Bellagio..." Barney said desperately trying to get his friend to forgive him. "I am not going to Vegas with you, I'm not going to blow off my friends and my girlfriend, and spend my 30th birthday in a strip club. The fact that you think I would... You know, Barney, earlier this week I started putting things in a box and that box was labeled 'stuff I have no use for anymore'" Ted replied looking furious. Barney looked at Ted confused, the way Ted stared at Barney made him feel consumed with guilt and fear. "What does that mean?" Barney asked, almost too afraid to hear the answer. "It means... maybe you belong in that box" Ted said meeting Barney's gaze.
"Are you saying you don't want to be Bros anymore?"
"I'm saying I don't want to be friends anymore" Ted said, still angry. Barney couldn't believe what he was hearing, how could he have done this to Ted, his best friend. He was disgusted with himself. He didn't know what to say and then his abandonment issues kicked in and he became desperate. "Okay, I'm going to stop you right there, because it seems like you're about to say something that's going to pretty much ruin Vegas" he said hoping Ted would at least stay.
Ted looked away and said "Ranjit, stop the car, I'm getting a cab". As the limo pulled to a stop and Ted stepped out Barney felt horrified with himself. He reached for his glass only to find it empty. He sat back and thought about Shannon, uncle Jerry... Through out all his life the people that mean the most to him always seem to walk away. He thought about how it must be him, how he was a jerk to everyone. "I'm sorry, Ted" he muttered to himself. The partition came down and Ranjit angrily turned to look at him. "I know" Barney said looking away, no matter how hard he tried he always seemed to let people down. Barney and Ranjit sat in silence for a moment before Barney asked "think he'll ever forgive me?"
"He will" Ranjit nodded, he smiled at Barney, he could tell that he already felt terrible "where to?"
Barney paused for a moment and then solemnly said "Just take me home I guess"
2010
Ted sat back and thought back to his party. Barney looked down, depressed from remembering the event. "I'm sorry" Ted said, feeling a little guilty hearing how the event made Barney feel. "No, I'm sorry" Barney replied looking back up at his friend. They sat in silence for a moment before Ted started laughing "this is crazy, why are we talking about this? It's like way in the past". Barney replied with a laugh, he knew Ted was right but thinking about the whole thing still made him kinda upset. He shook his head, what was he thinking? He was Barney Stinson, he doesn't feel sadness, whenever he gets sad he just stops being sad and becomes awesome instead. "I uh, I'm gonna go" Barney said getting up from the booth.
As we walked out of the bar Barney thought back to uncle Jerry, Shannon and Ted leaving him. He wouldn't admit it to anyone but it really hurt, deep down he didn't want to be alone, he was grateful he had his friends. Then he stopped outside the bar and thought about Robin and Don "Oh my god..." he muttered aloud to himself.