Robin's point of view

The guilt was crushing. Joker was free, I was too weak to chase him, Babs was in a hospital, and there I was relieved that it hadn't been Star. Not that Babs life didn't matter, but the reaction wasn't the same. When Alfred told me she'd been shot it was like my insides turned to ice. It was the fear of not knowing how bad, bracing against the worst. I wanted Joker's head on a plate, I wanted him finally brought to the Justice he deserved, but really I just wanted the twelve hours to pass so I could go to the hospital and see for myself that she was okay. There was shock and guilt and anger, plenty of all three, but as Starfire passed into my peripheral vision I imagined Alfred telling me it was her in the hospital and my chest seized in instant denial.

I paced my room restlessly. I could contribute nothing in the Cave, and the others didn't know her. They'd feel bad, but they wouldn't get it. Heck it was hard enough having Star with me. Worse maybe, because I wondered what she was thinking. I was angry and muttering death threats to Joker under my breath. I needed to punch something, but my body wasn't up for that sort of physical activity yet.

"I should see if Raven can do anything about the bruising on my face," I mumbled. If Dick Grayson turned up in Gotham after three years away with a black and swollen eye it would make international headlines.

"What can I do?" asked Star in a soft voice. She looked so uncertain.

"Wait here for me, Star," I mumbled. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Raven did what she could for me. It hurt...a lot...but I sort of embraced it this time. By the time she was done the swelling and bruising in my face had vanished. All of the nerves and muscles were on fire, and even the slightest expression sent off a flare, but that was okay. I wouldn't be smiling anytime soon.

"We should go with you," said Cyborg as I turned to go. "You know this is probably a trap."

"The Titans can't be seen with Dick Grayson," I said without emotion. He needed to understand that this was my life. This was what it meant to be Robin. When he and Beast Boy complained about how much easier the life of a hero was for me because I looked normal, and I blended in, I couldn't explain this part. If a Titan was shot there was nothing that stood in the team's way. But in Gotham, the secret came before everything else. For all I knew Babs was drawing her last breath and there I was at the Manor, obediently following the rules Bruce had set if this ever happened.

Alfred had a change of clothes ready for me, some prep school uniform. I rolled the white dress shirt up to my elbows and tugged the sweat ire vest over my head.

"Your hair, Sir," said Alfred when I came out of the side room where I had changed. I couldn't go back to mine and see Starfire's sad face. It just made everything worse. It had been days since the last time I'd had gel in my hair, but since it had been days since my last proper shower my hair was a rat nest. The only way to fix it was with a quick trip to the nearest sink where I could just rinse it out as best I could. Without a comb to style it, it all just flopped in my face, long enough to fall into my eyes now. Whatever.

A,fred drove me himself to the hospital. Naturally Babs had been taken to the Wayne Wing, and the moment they saw me the nurses flew over themselves to get to me.

"Barbara Gordon, how is she?" I didn't waste time on charm. It would only make the intern in front of me's eyes flutter. Instead, her expression shut down guiltily.

"I'm afraid I can only release that information to her direct relatives, Mr. Grayson, sir." It was absurd that she called me Sir when she was at least five years older. Money and fame were ridiculously powerful tools. I glowered at her.

"I've known that girl in there since we were kids. I'm not asking for a complete update I just want to know if she's alive."

"I've been asked not to speak to anyone, sir." She cowered. I braced my hands on either side of the desk, taking several slow, deep breaths. I'm not sure whether it was the look on my face or her obvious attraction to it, but she glanced around furtively and leaned toward me.

"The doctors are doing the best they can. I'll have her surgeon come speak with you when she's out of surgery."

Surgery?

"Thanks." I tried to smile, but the combination of pain and frustration probably made it look more like a scowl. Her lashes fluttered anyway, so it must have been close enough. I took a corner seat in the waiting room and put on my shades. The media would be here soon. The girl at the counter was probably snapping my picture with her phone and texting it to everyone she knew. With what little time I had I pulled out the smartphone I kept on me in my civilian attire.

"What's the wifi password?" I called to the intern, holding my phone high so she could see it. She stopped mid sentence with the person who had stood after me in line to answer.

"Got it, thanks," I called. It took only seconds for me to hack the network. I wasn't exactly dealing with Batcave level firewalls. Once into the network, I searched for Babs' info. To the casual observer I looked like I was merely browsing news articles. But it didn't take even a casual observer to notice when I found what I was looking for. The blood drained from my face and the phone fell out of my suddenly nerveless fingers.

Bullet to the spine. Spinal cord severed. Will likely never walk again.

I sat in blind silence. She was paralyzed. Paralyzed. Her life as a crime fighter was... What could she do? Her days as Batgirl were over. I put my head in my hands and concentrated every fiber of my mind on holding the tears back.

Raven couldn't save her. Her magic can only accelerate healing. Spinal injuries were permanent, and even if she could, she'd need to be at full strength to try, and after the past week I knew she didn't have it in her. Just healing my face had left her swaying. Babs was never going to walk again and it was all my fault. I'd had Joker in my hands and gotten careless. This was payback for thwarting his plan to kill me. It was because of me. Me and Bruce. Always us. And now it was up to us, the Dynamic Duo, to see him behind bars forever.

Beep beep. I'd forwarded my communicator to my smartphone in the car. It was from Raven. Could she read my emotions from this far away?

"Grayson," I answered, giving her a subtle reminder to use my civilian identity. She wasn't stupid, but it's harder than you think to change what you call someone at the drop of a hat.

"Dick, where's...your girlfriend?" Despite everything, that one little word stitched a thread of amazement into the blanket of grief that was smothering me. It was short-lived though. I narrowed my eyes.

"Why?"

"She's not in the Manor. I can't...find her." That meant she couldn't sense her aura. Starfire was gone.

No. She couldn't do this to me. Not now. Not when I was dealing with this. Where the hell would she even go?

"Starfire," I growled under my breath. It was a risk, because there were about five people in the waiting room pretending not to be eavesdropping on me.

"I can't leave. Babs is in trouble. It's bad."

"Where do you think she could be?"

"I have no idea, Ra-chel, I invented to cover my near mistake. I could practically feel her rolling her eyes. "Find her. Call me the minute you hear from her."

"Okay. And Robin?" I winced. "She's going to be fine."

"I can't lose them both," I said. I didn't mean to say it, but it was true. Babs was bad enough. If Joker hurt Starfire I'd kill him. Already my fingers were clenching at the thought. I itched to put on my uniform and go after her. What was she doing? I told her to stay put. Why did she never listen? Starfire!

A/N: Sorry, shorter than usual, but it was the best place to break up what's coming.