A/N: I'm just going to leave this here as promised... (really, this is the continuation of the last chapter, it's all still happening on the same day. I probably could have edited this scene into oblivion but I think I reached a stage where I wouldn't be improving it any longer!)
This might be a good time to remind people of the subject matter in this fic (underage! I'm just being preemptive here, I'm sure you wouldn't be here if this bothered you) and the M rating. In short, stuff is going to happen in this chapter.
And while I'm mostly an equal opportunist with regards to most things sexual between D/C, I know some people have definite preferences or at least would like to get a little head's up beforehand. If that's you, I refer you to the notes at the end.
It was late afternoon when Castiel pulled up in front of his house. Dean seemed lost in his thoughts and Castiel caught him glancing wistfully across the street. He knew exactly where the teenager's gaze was rested on.
"The Roberts live there now. One kid and another on the way. Met Mrs. Roberts once. They seem like nice people."
Dean let out a low rumble of acknowledgment while scrutinizing his old home. The house had a new coat of paint, new windows and a new front door. Somehow it felt wrong seeing it like that, like all remnants of the Winchesters ever having been there had been methodically stripped away. He felt like with the loss of the house, he finally had to let go of that last tether that connected him to his mother. They had been happy there once, a lifetime ago. Dean heaved a sigh.
"It is not quite the same without you here," Castiel teased and nudged Dean's shoulder in an attempt to try and ease some of the tension that he couldn't help but notice had seeped back into him.
"Yeah, well- I'm awesome." Dean chuckled, happily taking the bait, feeling some of the heaviness lift off his shoulders as he smiled across at the older man before they both got out of the car. He chanced one final look over his shoulder at what by all rights still should be his family home, and then followed Castiel into the house. He hovered inelegantly in the hallway just like earlier, feeling himself tense up again. God, he just needed to chill the fuck out. He had been here so many times, it used to be like a second home to him, and he should be able to keep it together for like five minutes. Cas must have heard his grumblings or seen it written on his face, as he advanced on him with purpose, gripping his shoulder with strong hands and fixing him with that mesmerizing stare as he told him in no uncertain terms that this was his home, too. The man underlined this with a chaste kiss to his cheek before excusing himself to use the bathroom.
A weird mix of calm and excitement washed over Dean in that moment. He smiled as he watched the retreating form of Cas, for the first time since he got here this morning allowing himself to just look, taking in all of the man, from his sharp features, slightly hidden under that scruff, to the way his body moved, strong but with a hint of fluidity to it. It finally hit him that this was real, he was in fact here and not stuck in some alcohol induced hallucination, and he just wanted to follow Cas up the stairs and wrap him up in his arms and never let go again. Dean felt the lingering phantom touch of those lips, bringing his hand up and brushing over the spot with his thumb. Still, he should probably wait for Cas to return. He looked around the place and for a lack of anything better to do walked into the kitchen, where he started preparing some coffee. He had missed the taste of Cas' special variety of coffee beans and only hoped he still remembered the way to prepare it and that Cas hadn't changed the way he liked it.
When Castiel entered the kitchen Dean had two steaming mugs of coffee waiting. He accepted the offered beverage with a smile and another peck on Dean's cheek and Dean's mind went 'Fuck it' as he put his mug down and wrapped himself around the older man.
"Woah!" Castiel exclaimed with a low chuckle, the coffee in his mug sloshing dangerously close to the rim. Without looking he reached around Dean, hoping the mug would hit the counter as he placed it down before pulling the boy in.
"Missed you so friggin' much." Dean breathed into the crook of Cas' neck where he currently had his face buried against. Had he told Cas yet? He couldn't remember, but even if he had, it was worth repeating.
"You're here now." Castiel simply replied, kissing the top of Dean's head. "Hey-" He added as he moved his head back just enough to be able to reach the teenager's face with one of his hands. He gently cupped his jaw, getting Dean to meet his gaze. They were basically the same height now and Dean fit perfectly in his arms, he couldn't help but notice. Castiel's breath hitched at the way Dean was staring back at him, not even trying to mask all the emotions that he could keep hidden so expertly behind those green eyes if he chose to do so.
Dean's heart was beating at a frantic rate. God, he had forgotten that the Cas could do that to him with just a look. He licked his lips in anticipation while not taking his eyes off of Cas', just wanting contact, some physical connection so badly.
Castiel traced the motion as his eyes briefly flicked down to Dean's lips and then up at his eyes again. Then finally, Dean felt the brush of slightly too dry lips against his own, accompanied by the scratch of too long stubble, and he closed his eyes, wanting to just experience the touch and taste, wondering why the hell they had waited until now to do this. Cas' hand was still on his chin as he kept kissing him, running his tongue across the seam of his lips, having Dean shudder, before he pulled back. Dean opened his eyes, a protest ready on his lips, but then Cas brushed his thumb over his lips, swiping across the trace of moisture he left there and Dean was stunned into silence, fisting his hands in the back of Cas' shirt, and grinning like an absolute lunatic and not giving a shit about it.
"The coffee is getting cold." Castiel smirked as he reached around Dean, picking up his mug again. "We should not let your efforts go to waste." Dean laughed at that and picked up his own, taking Cas' free hand with his own, letting his thumb run across the warm skin of his palm, willing his stomach to calm down.
"TV?" Castiel asked and Dean agreed, no point just standing in the kitchen and nursing their drinks. They made their way over to the living room where they got comfortable on the couch, Dean kicking his feet up on the coffee table as Castiel reached for the remote, neatly arranged on said table. It was all so very Cas yet it felt off. Like everything was too clean and too in order, even for Cas' standards. Obviously the touch of the Winchesters was missing. Dean's stomach clenched uneasily at that thought. Better not think about shit like that now. Instead he focused on his coffee and rested his head against Cas' shoulder, watching the man flick through the channels. It took a while and some light-hearted banter, but eventually they found a movie they both could agree on, their feet nudging each other ever so often.
They were halfway through the movie when Castiel could feel Dean start to drop off. He was resting heavy against his shoulder, body going slack to the point where he had to take the mug out of the teenager's hand for fear of him spilling the remainder of the coffee all over the couch. Castiel bumped Dean gently with his leg, earning him a grumble from the boy.
"I think you could do with some sleep." He stated bluntly, but with a gentle undertone.
"But 's not even night." Dean protested without opening his eyes. "'M good here." He snuggled his head further into Cas' shoulder.
"How about a nap then before dinner?"
"You gonna be there?" Dean mumbled.
"I think that can be arranged. Come on." Castiel got up and pulled Dean up after him, leading him up the stairs and into his bedroom. "This will be more comfortable than contorting ourselves into pretzels on the couch."
Dean chuckled tiredly. Really, if he wasn't feeling so bone crushingly tired he would have probably gotten very excited at the prospect of sharing Cas' bed. As it was, he barely managed to crawl under the blankets and wrap himself around the man once he had climbed in after him, before sleep took him.
Dean woke up, feeling disoriented. It took him a moment to realize where he was and to let the events of the day catch up with him. He was in Cas' bed and more importantly, the man in question was nestled against him, a warm presence against his back. The slow, steady exhales tickling the short hairs at his neck. He turned over and watched Cas' sleeping form, just about able to make out his features in the twilight. He wondered briefly what time it was before focusing on the man again. He felt a sudden urge to touch and brought his hand up, stroking gently through the dark scruff on Cas' face, pondering whether the man was actually going to grow a full on beard. Dean let his mind wander to what that would look like. Would it suit Cas? How would kissing him feel like then? As it was, the scruff currently was just the right side of scratchy and Dean felt a pull, an urgent need to feel it against his skin again, his lips more precisely. He closed the short distance and placed his lips over Cas', giving him a gentle closed mouth kiss. The man grumbled something unintelligible, before his eyes opened and Dean found tired, slightly dazed blue eyes gaze at him. He could feel Cas' lips curve into a smile under his and that was enough encouragement for him to move in closer still, wrapping himself properly around the man and deepening the kiss.
Castiel's hands shot out, one finding its way into Dean's hair, while the other grabbed hold of Dean's shirt, pulling him closer. Dean leaned into the touch at the back of his head, while trying not to break the contact of their lips, sucking Cas' bottom lip into his mouth, followed by little nips that had the man moan in appreciation. The next few minutes were just a whirlwind of tongues and hands, both carried away by the sudden desire to feel more. Dean all but rolled on top of Cas, while kissing and licking his way past the scruffy jaw down the neck, ending up with his lips pressed against Cas' collarbone.
Castiel slanted his head to the side, granting Dean easier access, the way those lips felt against his skin, was overwhelming. It had been so long, he had near convinced himself that he would never get to feel them again, and he just couldn't get enough. He pulled and tugged at Dean's hair, urging him on for more, for anything he was able to give him.
"Cas-" Dean whimpered, lapping at the red mark he just sucked into the man's skin. "Please-" he begged as he brought his lips back up, hungrily colliding with Cas' own.
"What?" Cas panted into the kiss. "Tell me."
"Oh god-" Dean pressed his face against Cas' chest, trying to hide the way his face flushed red with embarrassment, feeling it rise and fall as well as the rapid beat of the man's heart. He generally was a guy of action, not of words. He sure as hell was not used to voice these kind of things. Even the few times he had gotten somewhere with girls, it was generally not by talking about the ins and outs of it first, but by just going with the flow. But he vividly remembered the last time he and Cas had been like this, all those enticing words that had been whispered against his ear as the man slowly took him apart. Dean remembered it like it was yesterday! That was what he wanted to experience, and he knew there was only one way to make sure he might get exactly that. He had to actually ask for it. So pushing any embarrassment, as well as lingering issues of age or whether they should be doing this at all, to one side, he found his voice. If he didn't ask now, they might not even get another chance like this.
"I want- you remember that time- what you said- I'd- I want that."
He could feel Cas go rigid under him as he took in a labored breath. Dean held his own in anticipation, afraid he might have just ruined the moment. Cas looked up at him, and Dean could see it written all over the man's face, the internal struggle he was going through, the uncertainty and reservations as he scrutinized Dean with his stare. But just as Dean was about to brush it off, say he didn't really mean it, that Cas should not worry, he felt himself being grabbed around his waist and tossed onto his back. He yelped in surprise, staring up at the man who now was hovering above him. Dean's breath hitched. That look of apprehension was replaced by one of hunger, the likes of which Dean had not seen from Cas before. It made his stomach flutter in anticipation, sparks zinging through his spine straight down to his groin.
"Yes, ok." Castiel wheezed, already sounding breathless, as he looked down at Dean, slowly letting his eyes rake over the teenager's face, then down his neck and chest, finally following the trail further down to Dean's crotch where the outline of his erection was obvious through his jeans.
Dean could feel himself grow hot, skin flushed and crawling with nervous energy, but he never wanted Cas to stop. No one had ever looked at him like that. He needed more, wanted for the man to finally touch him. For real, not through layers and layers but skin to skin.
"Cas-" Dean didn't care if he sounded desperate.
Cas straddled him then, as he kept taking him apart with his gaze alone. Dean sighed as he reveled in the weight of the body on top of him. He pushed himself up on his elbows trying to capture those delicious lips in another kiss, having to strain his neck to close that final distance.
Castiel groaned into the contact, then kissed back, letting his tongue trail the outline of Dean's lips, before pushing him back down.
Dean watched with wide eyes, chest heaving as Cas was beginning to move, bringing his hands up, briefly resting them on Dean's chest and tracing his fingers across the fabric of his shirt, before slowly, reverently starting to unbutton it. Dean arched his back up and into the movement, desperate to just feel the man's hands on him already. Cas was going all too slow for his liking, methodically like he did most things in life, and Dean whined in frustration, which at least earned him another kiss.
Castiel was sure he was going insane. He could not remember ever having wanted anything, or anyone, this much. In that split second a moment (or a lifetime) ago, there had been two paths laid out before him, he had seen them clearly. The sensible one, the one he should have taken, and the one where he could just follow what his heart desired. In the end it hadn't been a hard decision to make, not when Dean had looked at him with such open fondness and yearning. Having him here, under him, frantically urging him on was more, better, than Castiel had ever imagined, even in his wildest fantasies. He had a hard time to keep his hands from trembling as he undid the buttons, one by one. If he moved any faster he would start fumbling, also he wanted this to last, remember every second of it, have it seared into his brain for the 'after' that would soon enough catch up with them.
"Up." Castiel instructed as he pushed the shirt past Dean's shoulders, then tugged on his t-shirt, nudging it up the teenager's torso. Dean had never scrambled up to a sitting position so fast in his life. Castiel pulled the garments off and Dean fell back onto the bed, eyes never leaving the other man's.
"Cas-" he hissed in elation when he finally felt those hands against his skin. Cas' fingers were skimming down his chest, circling his nipples before moving further down, where he splayed them across his stomach, pressing down ever so gently against the softness there.
"You're so- beautiful." Castiel near whispered, taking in every last detail of the body under him. Freckles were sprinkled across Dean's shoulders and chest. He leaned in, placing gentle kisses and nips along their trail, having Dean moan and whimper in appreciation.
"God, Cas- please." Dean ground his hips up against Cas', already desperate for friction of any kind. His jeans were painfully tight, confining him in a most maddening way.
"Shh-" The man shushed him. "Remember, I said I would take my time." He whispered against Dean's skin, the brush of air and lips having Dean come out in goose bumps even as a frustrated whine escaped him.
"You gonna kill me here," he grunted, biting on his bottom lip, before canting his hips up again, as Cas' deft fingers dipped inside the waistband of his jeans. "Oh god-" Dean couldn't help the moan escaping him, the anticipation making his stomach twist itself into one giant knot. He had to hold on to something, hands scrambling on the bed as Cas was just out of reach unless Dean would push himself up, something he was completely incapable of doing in his current state. All he could grab was a handful of the sheets, and Dean bunched them up in his hands, clinging to them for dear life.
Castiel could feel his heart skip a beat at the way Dean reacted to his fingers brushing against the skin hidden just below his waistband. He had had no idea someone could be this responsive to something as simple as touch, this in turn made him hyperaware of every action, no matter how small that he administered. He could not keep his hands from trembling any longer as he traced his thumbs across the skin just at the edge of Dean's jeans, before coming to rest on his button. He hesitated for a moment, locking eyes with Dean, who was breathing heavily and canted his hips up in silent invitation, his erection brushing against Cas' own through the layers.
Dean gazed at Cas with hooded eyes, repeating the motion with more conviction this time, and finally, fucking finally Cas seemed to lose it, if the sudden intake of breath and a barely held back uncharacteristically 'Fuck' was an indication. Dean's head fell back against the mattress, and he had to close his eyes and take a few steadying breaths. As it was he was already dangerously close to coming. He knew it wouldn't take much more.
Castiel made quick work of the button and zipper, shimmying down Dean's legs, taking the jeans and his boxers with him before pulling them off of Dean and discarding them somewhere on the floor. There was a sudden urgency to him. Dean could feel it through the way the man kissed his way back up his legs, pushing them apart just slightly as he kissed the inside of his thighs, and Dean started to tremble.
Dean was too out of it to even be bothered or concerned by the fact that this was the first time someone had seen him completely naked like that. Too aroused to worry about what a picture he must make right now. It said something about the way he trusted Cas that he could just let his barriers down so completely, for the first time in months just feeling, not thinking, worrying or being angry at the world.
"Cas- please." He pleaded. Those were apparently the only words he was still capable of forming. Cas attached his lips to a particular sensitive spot on his left thigh, just short of where Dean really, really needed him to be. But then he started to suck at said spot, and a sharp pin prick like pain shot through Dean, but god, it felt good.
The next thing he was conscious of was Cas mouthing at the base of his erection. Dean jerked and gulped in a big breath of air. "Oh fuck- Imma-" he whimpered and Cas removed his mouth just that little bit too early to push him over the edge. Dean let out a multitude of barely audible curses under his breath, as his fists white-knuckled around the sheets.
Castiel looked up the length of Dean's body. He needed a moment to take it all in, and calm himself. Dean looked absolutely stunning, face flushed, mouth parted, small needy gasps escaping him and Castiel had real trouble holding it together. He had no idea how much longer he could keep Dean on edge, but there was still so much more to do, to explore. He was faintly aware that he was still fully clothed, but this was not about him, not really. This was about getting to know Dean, what made him tick, to make him feel good.
He kissed Dean's hipbone, licked his way up to his belly button before slowly making his way back down, placing a gentle teasing lick across the top of Dean's straining cock. There was a loud groan then, and Castiel for the life of him couldn't say if the sound came from Dean or himself. One of his hands stroked up and around Dean's thigh, instinctively etching towards his ass, until he had one of the cheeks in a firm grasp in his hand as he licked over the head again.
"Oh fuck- Caaas! Please- Want to feel you- inside."
Castiel froze where he was, kneeled between Dean's spread legs, panting heavily. Dean's eyes flew open once he registered the sudden lack of movement, his brain trying to rewind to what he just said.
"Dean, I-" Castiel's voice shook, broke off before he could finish.
Dean was vaguely aware of the bridge this would be crossing, but he wanted, had wanted this for such a long time, longer probably than he could ever admit out loud to Cas.
"Please," He lifted his head, trying to meet Cas' gaze.
"I can't - we shouldn't-" Castiel replied feebly, his pulse beating like a loud drum in his ears. He had to try and stay in control, at least to some degree. Couldn't allow himself to get lost completely.
Dean groaned, lifting himself up on his elbows. The craving to feel Cas in all the ways possible gave him a newfound courage. "Look at me, please!" He begged. "I- you said you trust me, then trust me. I really want this. I'm old enough to know that I do! If you don't want to that's fine- but don't just- because you're trying to protect me or something." Dean had no idea he was still able to string that many words together. He held his breath as he waited for Cas to process his little speech.
Castiel swallowed, so hard he almost choked on the gulp of air, having to cough to clear his airways. God he was so tempted, but despite whether Dean really knew what he wanted, was he ready to give it to him? Would he be able to live with himself after? There were things on his mind, stuff he didn't know about Dean. They haven't had that kind of discussion yet, never really needed to until now. It was something that was not supposed to be an issue until later. He took a steadying breath, gently gripping Dean's hips as he straightened up.
"Have you ever even-" And why was he pushing this further?
"No, of course not." Dean was quick to protest; almost hurt that Cas could even think he would have let anyone else do this to him.
"That was not quite what I meant." Castiel clarified. "I meant to ask whether you ever even had- you know- anything up there." He could feel himself heat up. Talking openly about sex was still hard for him. With Amelia things just had evolved to the stage of actual sex organically and with Alan, they did talk about it, but again not in great detail. At the time, Castiel had stated his still getting used to the whole aspect of gay sex in his defense. But now, there really were no excuses, plus this was Dean, and Castiel would never want to push him into anything.
Dean gulped at the question, feeling a renewed heat in his cheeks. He was sure his complexion was quickly turning an impressive shade of red. He suddenly felt stupidly inadequate, uneducated. Why hadn't he experimented more? "I- erm, not really, I- um- used a finger or two sometimes when I- you know-"
Castiel felt a surge of affection for the teenager as he fumbled for words, as well as a spike of arousal at the thought of Dean fingering himself. It was too much. His head fell forward with a groan, coming to rest against Dean's chest. He just needed a moment to collect himself. Dean's hands found their way into his hair, fingers stroking through it. "Cas- you're ok?", he stuttered, voice laced with worry.
Castiel looked up then, another wave of arousal hitting him at the sight. He shuffled up a bit to meet Dean's lips in a deep kiss, trying to mask his internal turmoil. "I-" he panted after a moment. "I could- if you really wanted to- we should just take it slow, I- could finger you for a bit, see if you enjoy it." He stumbled over the words as they left his mouth. He was equally petrified and excited by the prospect of this. He only hoped he would manage to do this right should Dean agree, never really having done this kind of fingering before. He did not want to accidentally hurt Dean.
"Yes-" Dean replied so fast, it was almost comically needy. But he just wanted to avoid the chance of Cas changing his mind. He was starting to feel dizzy, his heart pumping so hard, it was practically trying to burst out of his ribcage.
"Ok, yes- we can- Oh-" Castiel stopped in his tracks.
"What?" Dean enquired, an urgency and desperation behind that one word.
"I have no- we would need some lube or something." he said and Dean grunted as his head fell back. No, this was not happening. No way, they would not be able to do this because of fucking stupid supplies.
"Damn, there must be something-" He grumbled defiantly.
"There- I might have some Vaseline in the bathroom cupboard. Let me check." Castiel was about to get off the bed, when Dean grabbed him round the wrist.
"No, I'll go." He offered and before Cas could protest he was up and out the door, again the focus on the task at hand stopped him from being concerned with his nakedness. Dean had an ulterior motive for volunteering. He was going to have Cas' fingers up there and he just needed to make sure that everything was in order, otherwise he wouldn't be able to enjoy this, he was nervous enough as it was. He found the pot of Vaseline after a short rummage through the cupboard, then went over to the sink where he picked up a washcloth and after wetting it, gave himself a quick wipe down and clean back where it mattered.
He was basically vibrating with anticipation as he walked back into the room, Cas was lying on the bed, eyes closed, almost like he was sleeping. Dean's eyes roamed greedily over the man, suddenly needing him out of those clothes. He sat down on the side of the bed, tugging at Cas' shirt.
"Too many clothes." He grumbled. "'S not fair."
Castiel chuckled as he sat up, eyes locking with Dean for a brief second before he started to level the playing field by pulling off his sweater and undershirt, followed quickly by his slacks and finally his boxer briefs. All the time he felt those gorgeous green eyes on him, roaming over every new bit of exposed skin, his body responding by sending sparks like lightning bolts up and down his spine. He tried hard to ignore his own erection, as he focused back on Dean.
"How we're going to-," Cas wondered out loud, as his hands gently traced over Dean's shoulders and down his arms, coming to rest on the teenager's wrists, were he felt the rapid beat of his pulse. Dean swallowed back the sudden flutter of nerves, eyes resting on Cas' hands as he waited for directions.
"Lie down." Cas concluded after another moment's deliberation and Dean complied eagerly, sighing happily when the man covered his body with his own, finally feeling skin against skin. Dean dug his fingers into the flesh on Cas' back, leaving crescent shaped indents as Cas leaned in to capture his lips. Dean loved the weight of the older man on him. He was so on edge that he needed this, it grounded him, made him feel safe and he closed his eyes, allowing himself to fall. He felt Cas' hands roam up and down his sides, brushing over his nipples, then doing it again when Dean arched his back off the bed in response. Cas slowly made his way down, nudging Dean's legs apart with his own and coming to rest in between them.
Dean was breathing hard, labored intakes and noisy exhales, filled with a string of moans and grunts as Cas mouthed at his erection. He felt a fingers trace along its outline teasingly. Then Cas brushed past it and down, teasing his scrotum before moving further back and circling the rim.
"Yes-" Dean trembled at the touch, all too gentle and not enough, urging Cas on by slanting his hips down, trying to follow the touch. Instead of continuing the man removed his finger and Dean near cried from frustration and built up pressure. "Please-" he whimpered before a moment later Cas' finger was back, this time slick with Vaseline.
"You sure?" Cas asked looking up at Dean from his position between his legs.
"Damn, yes. I'm sure!" Dean panted gruffly, shooting Cas a glare that in no uncertain terms conveyed that he was not going to break. Cas kissed and nipped along his hips in reply, before a second later- "Fuck-" Dean hissed when Cas' finger breached him, pushing in slowly, tongue licking a wet stripe up his cock, and Dean couldn't take it anymore. Cas just about had time to push in a second finger before Dean felt his balls draw tight and his toes curling and then he came, all over his stomach, some of it catching on the edge of Cas' lips, who continued to lick at that spot just below his head, wringing out another spike of ecstasy from him.
"Cas- fuck- I-" Dean panted helplessly as Castiel pushed himself up from between his legs, coming up to kiss him, hard- desperate. Cas pushed himself closer against the body under him and Dean let his legs fall open wider to accommodate the man. As he did so Cas' hard-on slipped out from where it was trapped between them, the tip of it brushing against his hole.
"Cas- please," Dean whimpered as he wrapped his legs around Cas' waist, drawing him in closer, making it perfectly clear what he wanted from the older man.
"Oh god, Dean- what are you doing to me?!" It was as much as question as a statement, not meant in any malicious way, more an expression of surrender. Because at the end of the day Castiel was only human, and to deny the truth of how much he wanted Dean, especially in that moment was completely and utterly impossible.
"It's ok, I really want you to-" Even through the haze of the afterglow Dean felt the shift in Cas' mood and right now he didn't care if he was being selfish or placed some strain on their relationship. He needed Cas like he had never needed anyone else before and at the same time he wanted to give this to Cas, prayed that Cas would want to take it.
"I haven't even got any condoms." Castiel said with his last shred of common sense he had left.
"I don't care." Dean replied, tightening his hold around Cas' waist.
"You should though." Castiel protested. "I mean, I am clean. I got tested back when Alan- when we decided we - just it never got that far in the end, and obviously I haven't since- Still you-"
"I've never had proper sex with anyone. So that's settled then." Dean cut Cas off, feeling a weird sense of possessiveness mixed with relief that Cas had actually never gotten that far with another man. He rolled his hips with renewed vigor in invitation, making the man groan as a flash of heat shot through him. "Dean-" He panted, knowing already what his answer was going to be. He literally had no arguments left, and just the thought of being like this with Dean, in a way both being each others firsts in doing so, finally completely short-circuited Castiel's brain.
"I will need to prepare you more. I do not want to hurt you, ever." Castiel placed an eager kiss, full of promise yet somewhat tender on Dean's parted lips, swallowing down the moan that escaped the teenager. Dean unclamped his legs from around Cas and let them fall open. His hands were buried in Cas' hair, tugging at the strands intermittently as the man re-entered him with two fingers. Then, at Dean's insistence that he wasn't going to break, he quickly added a third, which had Dean hiss briefly, before relaxing against the intrusion. Cas worked his fingers in and out, adding more Vaseline and stretching him, eventually finding Dean's prostate and brushing against it a few times, reveling in the sounds and whines he was able to pull from the teenager.
Dean felt himself grow hard again under Cas' ministrations, jerking and moving with the man, trying to follow the rhythm of his fingers. "'M ready- please- need you." Dean begged, as he rolled his hips down against Cas' fingers.
"Ok." Was all Castiel was able to reply. He was completely and utterly transfixed by Dean and his own pressing need for release.
He removed his fingers and lined himself up, trying to reign in his nerves by focusing on Dean, watching him take in a deep breath as he felt the tip of Cas' erection brush against his rim. With a shuddered breath, the man pushed in, breached the tight muscle with his head. He tried to go slow and be gentle, but he could feel the resistance, felt the way Dean was cramping up, unable to hide the pain from his face.
"Dean-" Cas implored. "You have to relax." He instructed, rubbing his thumbs along the side of Dean's waist but it seemed to no avail, and there was no way Cas would just force his way in. He waited for another moment for Dean to adjust, but it was almost like he tensed up more and Cas could feel himself starting to soften under the pressure he suddenly felt. He carefully pulled out, placing a hand soothingly on Dean's thigh.
"Dean, hey-" He tried to sound soft but his ragged breathing made it sound more like a grunt.
"Don't stop," Dean gritted out through his teeth in response.
"Don't want to hurt you, we don't-" Castiel didn't even know he had any self-restraint left until those words left his mouth.
"No! I want this. I can take it." Dean insisted, opening his eyes to meet Cas' gaze with his own.
"Dean-"
"Cas- please. I've wanted this for so long, so-" Dean implored and Cas couldn't help a rather out of place grin flick across face.
"What's so damn funny?" Dean snapped defensively, feeling oh so stupid that he couldn't even get this right.
"Just- I always admired your stubbornness. Who knew it would come and bite me in the proverbial ass, or quite literally-" Cas supplied in terms of an explanation, trying to stifle a giggle as he bent down, kissing Dean's stomach gently. God, he really had lost his mind, and he had no intention of upsetting the teenager, he hoped he was able to convey that with little nips and licks as he didn't trust his words right now.
"Oh- I- damn!" Dean couldn't hide a chuckle, his back arching off the bed and the sudden onset of grumpiness effectively diffused, as Cas' tongue tickled that one sensitive spot near his belly button. Cas looked up at him from where he was perched over his stomach with those stupid blue eyes of his, making Dean want him even more. "Cas, that a yes?" It was definitely not a 'No', Dean assumed. His desire for the man was back in full force
Cas just kept staring at him, and Dean grunted wantonly. "Go on, then!" A mischievous glint in his eyes accompanied those words. He just wanted Cas to be back inside him, pain be damned. He probably would have managed to sound halfway authoritative if it hadn't been for that damn tongue that was still making him squirm.
"Ok." Cas mumbled against Dean's skin, his own body buzzing with the need to feel Dean, and he couldn't argue with that look he had just been given. They could give it one more try at least. Nothing was ever perfect the first time. "Turn over." He said, letting his fingers dance across Dean's hipbones.
"What?"
"Turn over, get on your hands and knees." Castiel repeated and Dean obeyed without further questions. He guessed Cas thought this might be an easier position. What he did not expect was Cas' mouth on the small of his neck or the return of the man's fingers, liberally coated with more Vaseline.
"Need you to relax, babe." Cas hummed against his skin, as he kept working him over with three fingers, tracing the outline of his spine with his tongue and lips, whispering encouraging nothings.
Dean almost lost it at the use of the pet name. He had no idea why; a silly name should not affect him like that. But it had him near tears for a second, before he managed to swallow it back, instead zoning in on the sensation of Cas' lips on his skin, the way now four fingers were slipping in and out of him. The pain was now nothing more than a slight dull echo, while the pleasure of the tug and slide combined with the pressure against his prostate slowly took over, leaving him hard and panting.
"Ready?" Castiel asked, wrapping himself over Dean's back, placing a gentle kiss on the side of his neck. Dean could only nod in reply.
Cas kept stroking one hand up and down the teenager's back as he gave himself a few tugs with the other before lining up again. Dean felt the blunt pressure against his entrance, trying not to hold his breath but to keep breathing, steady, in and out. This time when Cas pushed in, there was only a feeling of fullness and an initial twinge that disappeared almost as fast as it came.
"Cas-" Dean cried out as he felt him work his way deeper inside, arms and legs shaking.
"I'm here." Cas kissed his shoulder, as he waited for Dean to adjust fully. After a moment he began to move, encouraged by the little experimental rolls of Dean's hips.
"God, Dean- you're- love you." Castiel panted against Dean's skin as he started a slow rhythm, completely overwhelmed by the sensation of being engulfed by Dean. Being connected so closely.
Dean's whole body shivered at those words. How he had longed to hear them again, and for Cas to say them now, while he felt the man move inside him, was already overtaken by the physical sensations, was too much. Dean lost momentary control of his arms and slumped forward, burying his head in the pillow, feeling Cas follow the movement of his body with his own. "Cas-" he mumbled, choked off by the pillow, at the same time rolling his hips back against the man, desperate to feel more. Instead he suddenly felt empty as Cas pulled out of him.
Dean whined as he turned his head to see why he had suddenly stopped. Cas looked delectable, flushed, chest heaving and a drop of sweat working its way down his brow.
"Turn over." Cas growled, voice low and raspy. "Want to see you." Again, Dean was quick to comply, lying back and watching Cas with glazed over eyes as he moved in between his legs, uttering a deep moan when the man entered him again.
"Cas-" Dean grabbed him tight around his shoulders, pulling him down. He needed him to be closer still, felt like he wanted to crawl inside his skin. Castiel followed, winding his arms under Dean's and gripping him tight at this shoulders as he pressed their bodies together. He moved in slow short thrusts, the movement providing just enough friction against Dean's own erection to send him spiraling slowly towards the edge.
"Love you-" Castiel whispered again, face buried in the crook of Dean' neck as his rhythm started to falter, pushing faster and harder. Dean was doing his best to meet him with thrusts of his own, wrapping his legs around Cas' waist again, trying to pull him in more, wanting him deeper. Their sweat slicked bodies rubbed against each other as Cas chased his release, grip still tight, almost painfully so around Dean's shoulders.
"Dean, I'm going- can I come inside you?" Castiel gasped, as he felt his impeding release. He slowed his thrusts, breathing in through his nose in an attempt to stave it off just a bit longer, half prepared to pull out and finish himself off by hand.
Those words combined with the thought of feeling Cas come inside him were enough to send Dean tumbling straight into his second orgasm, spilling between them as he groaned out Cas' name followed by a rasped "God yes-".
The way Dean spasmed around him was too much and with one final snap of his hips, and Dean's grunts ringing in his ears, Cas came, releasing himself inside the teenager, groaning and panting as he kept thrusting erratically, chasing the last aftershocks of his orgasm. He could feel the nails of Dean's fingers digging into his shoulders as they both slowly came down, placing little kisses and nips all along Cas' throat and jaw, before pulling his bottom lip into his mouth. Cas turned his face to give Dean better access. It was more an exchange of air than an actual kiss as they both fought to get their breathing under control.
They lay there pressed together from head to toe for a long time. Dean couldn't get enough of the way Cas' weight was pressing him into the mattress, even if it meant he couldn't take a deep breath. Cas' fingers carded through his hair as they slowly kissed, Dean's own hands lazily trailing along the outline of Cas' spine. Dean was flying high on endorphins. He never wanted this feeling to end. Even the mess between them, the sticky reminder of how they had just come together, was a feeling to be cherished not despised.
It was way past ten when Castiel finally found enough strength in him to get up, and fetch a washcloth, giving first himself and then Dean a thorough clean. Dean still felt limp and couldn't do much more than shift and turn slightly giving Cas access to all areas. He still hadn't come down yet, giving the man a goofy smile, his heart leaping in his chest when it was returned in like.
"Hungry?" Cas asked then, and Dean would have agreed eagerly if he hadn't been too tired to move. The man must have seen it in his face, as he told Dean to just wait here as he disappeared down the stairs. Dean snuggled happily into the blankets. Those three words Cas had so reverently whispered against his skin earlier were playing on a loop in his head.
The house was shrouded in darkness and Castiel almost turned on the light in the kitchen before he remembered that he was stark naked and rather not grace his neighbors with a full frontal view from his kitchen window. He fumbled around in the dark for anything edible and more importantly some water, unable to keep the happy, sated grin off his face as he did so.
He had had a lot of regrets throughout his life, knew the weight of a heavy conscience but this, what had just happened between him and Dean he would not regret. He couldn't even call it a mistake. Dean said to trust him, and in the end that was what Cas had decided to do. The rest of the world could, as Dean would most likely put it, 'go fuck itself'. His attitude was juvenile, most likely. Castiel was very aware what people would brand him as now, there was no coming back from this for him.
Actually, he did have one regret, that this would be another secret Dean would have to carry on his shoulders for the time being, something no one else could know about. This was not something to be broadcasted at large. At the same time, if there had been doubts in his mid in the past about the viability of their relationship (and he dared called it that now), he suddenly knew with surprising clarity, that they both were in this for the long shot, would fight for this to work. Dean was not someone to give his affection easily; Castiel knew that. In that regards he and Dean were quite similar. Maybe that was why this felt like so much more than just finally having sex.
He placed some fruit, and crackers he found in the cupboard on a tray, along with the water, and made his way back upstairs. He used to have a no food in the bedroom rule, but rules, as he had just learned, were not as set in stone as he had always needed to believe, and Dean needed sustenance more than he needed a crumb-free floor. Plus, he somehow had a feeling they would not be making their way back downstairs for the rest of the night.
Bottom!Dean.
This scene turned out totally different than I had originally planned, but the characters just wouldn't let me have my way and once I gave in, the words just started flowing. Talk about your characters taking over a story!