The house was not far. It was a small brick building with dark blue shutters. Yards of the yellow crime tape were stretched in strange geometric patterns around the perimeter. I glanced at Robin. His face was determined, but I could see his hands trembling with barely suppressed rage.
"Raven or I could go in if-"
"You won't know what to look for," he cut me off without looking at me. Then he strode forward, lifting a line of yellow tape to approach the front door. Raven put a hand on my shoulder.
"Don't push him right now, Star. He's barely holding it together." I felt the rush of indignation that she felt the need to tell me this, as though I could not see for myself that all was not right with him. And why was I being cautioned not to push? I meant only to help. If one of my teammates had suffered what Barbara Gordon had suffered I would not wish to investigate the crime scene myself. There would be too many emotions and I would surely miss some clue because of the overwhelming guilt and anger I would feel at the ones who had done this. Not to mention that Robin had suffered from the same hands that had fired the gun at his friend. It was not normal that he should be so calm in the face of it. Not even Batman was able to keep his head clear under such strain.
"Joker's a real piece of work," Raven murmured, hugging her cloak tight around her. "I can still feel him here, the evil."
"Do you sense the man we are looking for?"
"If you want a bloodhound call Beast Boy," she snapped, and that told me the answer was no. It bothered Raven more than she liked to admit when the innocent were hurt and there was nothing we could do to prevent it. This was the first time Robin had brought us to a crime scene of this nature. In Jump we responded to attacks from the super-powered humans, threats that the police could not fight off themselves. What crimes we solved were typically cases about break-ins and robberies. There was nothing the Titans could do at a murder scene. The police never called us to those crimes. I think it was because they thought to protect us from seeing that side of crime. In that respect we were still children in their eyes. They could not know that I had seen enough death and despair to fill a battlefield. Robin too must have seen his fair share of the dead and dying in this place of hopelessness. Raven though had come to us from the monastery where she had grown up. For her this was new.
"The man that did this was brought to justice. He cannot hurt anyone else where he is."
"I know that," she said, disgruntled at being read so easily by me. She does not see the irony in how her powers enable her to know what we think or feel and yet she gets upset when we are able to do the same with her. "I can feel their pain."
"Gordon's?"
"No, well yes, but Robin too. It's worse than the evil Joker left."
"We should go in," I suggested. If Robin's grief was so great that Raven could not process it, then he did not need to be alone just now. I grabbed her arm and pulled her into the darkened house. I wanted to call for Robin, but the house was so silent and dark that I did not, afraid of the echo in such an empty place. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flicker of movement, and I raised a starbolt instinctively. It was only the edge of Robin's cape as he stepped halfway into the hallway. Slowly, Raven and I approached. He didn't look at us. In attention was fixed on a wide, thick puddle of dark liquid on the ground.
"She didn't even have the chance to fight him off," he said unexpectedly. His voice was little more than a growl of sound. "He shot her in the back like a coward and left her here to bleed out." I could not bear the pain in his voice. I wrapped my arms around him from behind. He tensed and ducked out of my embrace angrily.
"No!" He turned and scowled at Raven, whose eyes were glowing white. She looked between him and me and then went back outside to give us the space. As soon as she was gone, Robin grabbed my wrist and pulled me against him, crushing his lips to mine in a swift, fierce kiss before pulling back just as quickly. I swayed, dazed by the conflicting feelings of anger and elation.
"How could you do that, Starfire? How could you put yourself in danger after this? Do you know what he could have done to you? Do you know what he would have done?"
"Robin, I have already explained-"
"I don't care if Batman breaks every rule he's ever set down in his big black bat manual. I don't! I asked you to do one thing, and that was to stay safe while I was gone, and you just threw it out the window the moment my back was turned." His voice was rising as he paced back and forth in front of me like the large striped feline I had seen Beast Boy transform into on occasion. Tears began to blur my eyes. He had never yelled at me this way before.
"I did not expect that you would be so angry with me..."
"What did you expect?!" He jabbed his finger at the pool of blood on the ground. "For two hours I waited for Raven to tell me that they'd found your broken body just like hers because you went off on your own without telling anyone when you had no business leaving. Gotham isn't Jump. There are places that you can't go. The criminals here make Jump City's look like preschoolers. Joker wouldn't have thought twice about killing you. He'd torture you first and get it on film to torture me with the same way he let Batman see what he was doing when he was beating me with that crowbar. How could you put me through that?"
"My apologies!" I shouted back. My hands balled into fists of shame and rage that he would twist my actions so horribly. He had no right to yell at me over behavior that would have been perfectly acceptable back home. It did not matter if Gotham was more dangerous than Jump. I was a Titan and it was my job to uphold the code that prevented us from taking the lives of our enemies out of vengeance. When he was calmer he would see that. Why did he behave as though I was incapable of defending myself? Was I not a Tamaranean warrior who had studied every form of combat and self-defense known to my people since I was old enough to hold a spear? How dare he question me!
"Why is it you are allowed to run off and risk your life when it suits you, but I am not? You refused to allow the Titans to assist you while we were in Jump. We wanted to help you, but you went off to your secret hiding places and left us to fend for ourselves. Did you think that was easy for us? And yet you think to question me when I decide that I am perfectly capable of joining your former mentor to capture the criminal that lacks the superpowers capable of doing me permanent injury? You cannot have it both ways!"
"I was wrong to go off on my own. I've already admitted to that. And so were you. Why didn't you call the Titans to back you up?"
"I do not know!" My voice wavered and the fight went out of me as i contemplated my answer. "I do not," I repeated, softer. "I have never seen you like this, not even with Slade. You are hurting and I can do nothing to stop it. I thought..." His chest rose and fell in deep, angry breaths, discouraging me from continuing, but I persevered. "I thought if I could put him behind bars then it would be one less thing for you to worry about. Please Robin, I do not like it when we fight. You know it was not my intention to cause you worry."
He continued to glare at me for a long moment, and then the tension left him with a shudder. He opened his arms and pulled me close.
"I know, Star. But you can't do things like that. I've lost too many people to that man. I couldn't bear it if he took you away."
"Believe me, Robin. I have survived much worse than the Joker. I am not going anywhere." I rested my cheek on the top of his head. His arms came around my waist and he held me so tightly it was difficult to breathe. He did not weep, though I would not have blamed him. But we stood there for a while, holding each other.
"Gordon's still out there somewhere," he said, clearing his throat. I nodded.
"Do you have any leads?"
"No. If there were any clues then either the police or Batman got to them first."
"Is it possible that Batman has already located him?"
"Alfred would have told me. He can't be far."
"Actually," Raven's voice drifted back from the front door, "he may have just been found." She walked back to us, ignoring our close embrace. She held out her communicator which showed Beast Boy's anxious expression on the small screen.
"Hey guys, according to the cops that just took Harley Quinn, Commissioner Gordon was just found in an alleyway not far from here. They've already taken him to the hospital."
"Are you sure?" Robin asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. "There's a lot of crooked cops in this town."
"Cyborg just pulled up the news station and that's what they're saying."
"Good." Robin relaxed against me. "Thanks for all your help guys. I'll see you back at the Bat Cave." Raven ended the call and Robin and I looked at each other.
"Do you wish to go to the hospital again?"
"What, and leave you on your own so you can decide to run off to the mall or some other ridiculous place while I'm gone? No. I'll go back in the morning." He tapped a button on his utility belt. "Do you want a ride back?" I nodded. After the harsh words, I wanted to feel the closeness that riding with him on the R-cycle would bring. Raven grunted.
"I guess I'll just go get the guys like a good little school bus driver," she said, her voice dripping sarcasm.
"If you wouldn't mind," said Robin, with a hint of playfulness. She paused and tilted her head to the side, considering the two of us.
"You're good for each other. I'm glad you finally came to your senses." With that, she disappeared in a black raven of power. Robin sighed and pulled me in for another hug.
"Starfire, about that kiss, I didn't mean to be presumptuous or anything. I just got caught up in the moment. I realize that came off a little possessive, and I-"
"You never need to apologize for kissing me, Robin. I have waited years for the kisses and I enjoy each and every one, no matter how it does the coming off. Perhaps when we are back..." I nearly slipped up and said at the Manor, "you can demonstrate how you wished to have come off." He grinned.
"Deal."
A/N: okay, so they've been through a lot and Robin's been under a lot of strain in this story. I prefer reading stories where both sides have a reason to be right and a reason to be wrong in an argument instead of one-sidedness. So hopefully it came across this way. I haven't said it in a while, but I really do appreciate all the lovely reviews this story has been getting, and I'm glad that the friendship between the teammates other than Robin and Starfire is coming across. Giving all five characters time to shine is a difficult balancing act that I don't think I always manage, but I'm glad that the moment between Cyborg and Star in the last chapter was appreciated.