A/N: So glad I managed to get this finished today. That said it's not beta'ed and while I tried my best to catch all mistakes, if there's anything glaringly obvious, please feel free to let me know.
Other than that, there isn't much to say other than Dean and Cas are finally together again, yeah! There is a note at the end of the chapter, again for anyone who likes to know beforehand about the kind of sexual content in this chapter.
A loud bang jolted Dean awake. Barely conscious, his heart was hammering in his chest as the noise continued. Shit, there was someone in the house, in the middle of the night, and it was just him and Sammy. That thought had him fully alert within seconds. He fished for the baseball bat hidden under his bed, locating it quickly and grabbing it firmly in both hands. As he tiptoed out of their room, he chanced a quick glance at his brother, and thankfully found him asleep. Dean strained his ears for the origin of the commotion but now only heard silence. Letting out an uneasy breath he slowly made his way down the stairs, silently praying that whoever had thought it wise to break into their crappy house had already grabbed what little they owned and hightailed it out of here.
He was barely at the bottom of the stairs when a pungent smell hit his nostrils, and he had to actually swerve and jump to avoid the puddle of vomit on the floor. The front door was swinging open in the midnight breeze, and bat in hand, Dean went towards it to close it when a lump on the floor in the living room caught his eye.
There was his dad, passed out and for a moment Dean's heart stopped and only picked up again when John let out a miserable snore. Four days, it had been four days since dad had stormed out of the house and no one had heard as much as a peep from him. Dean slumped against the wall, just staring at his old man, disheveled, dirty. He was sure he could see some dried blood on the side of his face, and wondered for a second how John managed to get home in this state, but then he noticed the smell again - Dean had to suppress a gag, before he regained his wits and went into the kitchen, grabbing towels and disinfectant, trying to clear the vomit of the carpet as best he could.
Walking back into the living room, he gave John a quick prod but the man didn't as much as grunt in response. He had seen his old man drunk off his head before but it had never been this bad. Dean had no idea what to do. Should he just leave him there and let him sleep it off? He should at least move him to lie on his side to make sure he wouldn't choke should he puke again. Even while he attempted to move the immovable object that was his father, tears were pooling in his eyes. He had done this. John hadn't touched a drink in almost a year and now Dean had driven him straight to the bottom of a bottle because he, as always, couldn't keep his mouth shut. No matter how many issues Sammy and he had with their father, he was family. Maybe it was Dean that was the poison in this whole equation. Maybe it had always been his fault that their old man looked to alcohol for comfort. If he only had been a better son in the months and years after their mom's accident, maybe their dad would have been able to pull himself together again. He should have spent less time nagging him about things like bills and clothing and just somehow taken care of it himself, maybe then they wouldn't have ended up here. At the very least he could have kept his mouth shut about Castiel until he was old enough to legally make his own decisions. Maybe then John would finally accept their relationship. But at least his dad didn't appear to have gone after his friend. Small mercies!
"Fuck!" he yelled at the room at large, while pushing John, pressing his back against the edge of the couch and grabbing a cushion to support the man's head. He prayed that Sammy wouldn't wake up and see their father like this. Just then John groaned and convulsed and brought up what appeared to be the rest of his stomach all over the living room floor.
Dean felt the cold tendrils of panic creep up his spine. What was he supposed to do? He knew that really he had to call someone, just to make sure his dad didn't have alcohol poisoning or something else wrong with him. His dad let out another pitiful moan, that sounded like he was in pain and it jolted Dean into action.
He raced back up to his room, telling a bleary eyed Sam to go back to sleep, as he grabbed his recently acquired cell off the nightstand and went back downstairs, dialing Bobby's number as he went. Of course Sammy, the little bitch, didn't listen to him and followed him downstairs, and before Dean could even fully comprehend what was happening he had a sobbing Sam in his arms, asking again and again what was wrong with dad as John had started to convulse. Next thing he knew there was Bobby accompanied by paramedics and John was hauled off to have his stomach pumped (like there was anything left to pump Dean thought bitterly looking at the mess on the floor). He ended up huddled against the wall, brother by his side, as they watched Jody cleaning up the mess in the living room as daylight broke through the windows.
The next couple of weeks were just a blur. Between school and work and looking after Sam, and worrying about their dad, Dean didn't have much time to actually worry about much else.
John's relapse had cost him his job and after he was released from hospital, Bobby had literally torn him a new one for having been so stupid to risk throwing his life away like that and what example he was thinking he was setting for his sons. He gave him an ultimatum of drying out again or to get the hell out of dodge, leaving his kids with Jody and himself. For some unfathomable reason, John had agreed and due to lack of funds Bobby and Jody had taken it upon themselves to guide John through the process, pretty much locking him up in their basement while he went through the worst of his withdrawals.
This left Dean in charge of the household and his little brother. He didn't mind, it was a familiar comfort. He was used of being in charge, and at least for the next month or two he didn't need to worry about the bills, as long as John would find another job quickly, and of course if he managed to stay off the alcohol. But Dean could not worry about that, one day at a time it would have to be. He was so busy, that he had to try hard to carve out time for any calls to Cas. Generally those would happen while he and Sammy were hunched over their homework, and pretty quickly the calls became the highlight of his day. These conversations would always brightened his mood and took his mind off all the guilt that was still eating away at him, and he had a hunch they were similarly important to Cas.
Cas had offered to come up there as soon as he had heard about John's valiant attempt at annihilation by alcohol and a cocktail of other illegal substances but Jody and Bobby thought it best for him to put off any visits until a time when John had found his feet again. Also, despite how much Dean would have wanted the man here, he was aware that Castiel had his own issues back home. He knew that Amelia was now privy to their unique situation and even after talking to Jody had a hard time getting used to the idea of a relationship between him and Cas, which was eating away at the man. Dean had decided that he would have to go and try and talk to her if and when he would get a chance to visit Cas, as he knew how much that friendship meant to the man, plus Sammy had said more than once how much he would love to meet up with her again.
But finally after weeks and weeks of chaos, school ended, John had moved back into the house, dry for now, and had even managed to secure another job. Dean had no idea how but assumed Jody or Bobby had something to do with it. The atmosphere remained cold and mostly everyone kept to themselves, John not bringing himself to talk to Dean and Dean not really minding. No talking meant no confrontations or accidentally sending his dad over the edge again. Instead he focused on his schoolwork.
Dean had passed most of his subjects and had enrolled for summer school to catch up on the rest and had asked Bobby to increase his hours of work during the summer holidays, and thankfully the man had agreed. Yes, he was being responsible and his life had started to settle into some form of routine. He even had a special treat to look forward to. It would be his seventeenth birthday in two days and Castiel had arranged to come up to Sioux Falls, to celebrate with him. Bobby and Jody were in the know and would cover for him (albeit reluctantly but they didn't seem to have it in them to stop this reunion from happening), but everyone thought it an all around bad idea to spring this on John, who was barely functioning and no one felt any particular need to rock the boat. Dean hated that again he had to keep this all under wraps but after what happened the last time, if anything he did not want to have to deal with the fallout. In time either his dad would learn to deal or Dean would have to leave as soon as he was old enough.
Saturday was almost here but Dean had not heard a single peep from Cas all afternoon, despite the promise that he would call before going to bed in order to catch some sleep before his early morning flight. Dean had tried to call him a few times, but all his calls to the man went straight to voicemail and by evening Dean was basically climbing the walls. He probably was driving Sammy mad with his incessant pining and worrying and his baby brother had a great time pulling his leg. John just shot him a few irritated glances but thankfully left it at that. But even Sam finally admitted that it was not like Cas to just fall off the face of the earth like that. Not that that helped Dean's mood at all, but all he could do was wait and hope for news.
Dean woke up early on Saturday morning to very little sleep and a message on his phone. He cursed internally that he had somehow missed Cas' call but when he checked the time the message was left, his heart immediately started hammering in his chest. It was not like Cas to call at 2 am.
With trembling fingers he pressed on the flashing icon. Cas sounded exhausted and the words made Dean's heart stop. His mother had called yesterday lunchtime informing him that his father had had a heart attack, but was conscious and requested Castiel's presence because he wanted to talk things over. Apparently nothing like a near death experience to re-evaluate the treatment of your children, Dean couldn't help the bitter taste in his mouth at the thoughts of how badly Cas had been treated by his family in the past. But he knew that if it had been his old man, he would have made the trip without hesitation, no matter what had come before. Cas apologized incessantly for not having called Dean straight away but explained that he just hadn't been thinking straight and had needed to arrange a flight to Oklahoma City.
All the color drained from Dean's face. He wasn't even angry that Cas would not be able to make it for his birthday. Yes he was disappointed, but the anguish was evident in Castiel's voice and it was like a stab to Deans' own heart. He should be there with him. He tried calling him straight away but again only had his voicemail. He left a message, telling Cas to call as soon as he was able to while he was already planning on the fastest way of getting to Oklahoma. Baby seemed to be the obvious choice, but he should be at work soon, also he would need money and couldn't leave Sam alone and what would he tell his dad about where he was going, and what if he said 'no' to him using the car? Maybe he could borrow one of Bobby's old bangers.
By the time Castiel finally called, Dean had it all sorted and was ready to set off, thanks to a very understanding Bobby and Jody who, after he told them the whole story, not only let him use one of their cars, but gave him money to cover the petrol and any unforeseen expenses. They also offered to keep an eye out for Sammy (and John by proxy) and cover for him with regards to John. Dean could have kissed them both.
Dean accepted the call but didn't even get to tell Cas about his plans before he could hear the man starting to fight back the sobs. Cas had a hard time trying to compose himself as he talked and Dean wanted to be there right now so badly it hurt. Apparently Cas' father had had complications from the medications and a second heart attack from which he did not recover before Castiel even made it to the hospital. It took Dean a good five minutes to get through to the man, and when he finally did, Castiel insisted that there was no need for him to fly out, that he would manage on his own somehow and try to see Dean after the funeral. But Dean was adamant, especially after hearing the state Cas was in, and thankfully eventually the man got the message that this was not open for discussion and accepted, giving Dean the address of his brother Gabriel's house, where he would be staying.
#
Dean made the trip down south in record time, just over nine hours, making one last stop for coffee outside the city limits, using the opportunity to stretch out his aching bones and call Cas. Like so many times before, and to his immense frustration, the call went straight to voicemail, so Dean left a message telling Cas he would be at his brother's house within the next hour.
He had just pulled back onto the road when his phone buzzed with a received text and not sparing road safety any thought, Dean fumbled for his cell and opened the message while simultaneously trying to watch the road. Cas texted that he was about to leave the hospital and would see him at Gabriel's place.
The closer to the house he got, the more Dean's eyes bulged. The houses in this neighborhood were not just nice, they were huge, with massive front yards, and driveways surrounded by big hedges, the likes he normally only saw on some fancy TV show. Gabriel certainly was doing well for himself. His own place was a massive two storey, double fronted, private drive leading to a two double garage affair and Dean felt very self-conscious as he pulled up in front of the house, half expecting the neighbors or cops to turn up and ask him his business here. He got out and rang the fancy sounding doorbell but had no reply. Luckily he didn't have long to fret about what to do until Cas would get here, as a few minutes later a taxi pulled up and out climbed a very, very miserable looking Cas, suitcase by his side. He must have gone straight to the hospital from the airport by the looks of it. He looked a little lost as he paid the driver and then just stood there, staring up at Dean like he couldn't really believe he was there. Dean couldn't help the swell of his heart at seeing his friend (boyfriend he reminded himself) in person after all these weeks, even if the circumstances were less than favorable.
Castiel gave him a tired smile, the strain of the last few days evident in his face, eyes red and puffy. Dean returned the smile and with a simple 'Hey Cas' he walked the short distance up to him and pulled him into a hug. Cas melted against him, burying his head in the crook of his chest, letting out a long suffering sigh. It was not the most preferable place for such a display of affection but neither seemed to care as they just stood an held each other for what felt like hours. Eventually Dean started to shuffle, as all that coffee made itself known to his bladder. He smiled apologetically at the dark haired man as he informed him of his need for the bathroom.
Castiel unlocked the door and ushered them both inside, pointing Dean in the direction of the downstairs bathroom, but not before telling him to take off his shoes as he took off his own. Cas walked in the direction of a room off to the side of the front door, where he put his shoes on the built-in shoe rack and hung up his trench coat on the hanger next to it. Dean could see why there was a no-shoes rule, the whole hallway was kitted out with puffy cream carpet, and the place generally looked more like a show home than a place where people actually lived. He quickly followed Cas, placing his shoes next to his and hanging up his jacket. Didn't Gabriel have kids, Dean tried to remember as he made his way to the bathroom. It didn't feel like a particularly welcoming place, but who was he to judge, it was definitely a step up from the Winchester home.
Castiel was in the kitchen chugging back a huge glass of water when Dean returned. He turned and smiled tiredly at Dean. He looked drawn and older than Dean remembered, and he just wanted to wrap him up and protect him from whatever mental agony he so clearly was in.
"I think you could do with a lie down." The teenager said softly, placing an arm on the older man's shoulder. He would have steered him towards the closest bed if he had any idea where that was actually located.
Cas hummed before suddenly turning towards Dean. "Sorry, you came all this way and- I didn't even- hello Dean."
"'S okay. You don't need to apologize," Dean said reassuringly, giving the man's shoulder a squeeze. "I- you really should lie down for a bit, when was the last time you slept?"
"No idea." Cas shrugged his shoulders. "I caught an hour or two on the plane here. But, you came all this way-"
"Don't worry about me." Dean smiled. "What room we're staying in anyway?" Castiel's eyes grew wide for a second and Dean feared he had overstepped his bounds by assuming they'd be staying in the same room. As far as he was concerned they were a couple but then again, this was not Cas' house but his brother's, so maybe he shouldn't have assumed.
"I mean- which room are you staying in? I can take the couch or-"
"No. I would rather have you with me- if that is acceptable?" Castiel sounded nervous and it brought a small smile to Dean's face. He sighed with relief and nodded, still he needed to make sure it was not just tiredness talking. "But your brother?"
"He knows we are together- again, I should say." Castiel scratched his stubbled chin, clearly still not that versed in talking about this relationship. "Somehow in all this chaos I found a moment to tell him, well more like he guessed after I told him about your intentions of coming here. He wasn't even surprised really, apparently he had fully expected for this to happen."
"Oh-" had they really been that obvious Dean wondered. But whatever, this was good in a way, one less person to have to keep secrets from. And at any rate, tomorrow was his seventeenth birthday which brought them another step closer to being able to have their relationship out in the open.
"Ok. Now that's sorted- let's get you to bed, show the way."
Castiel put up no resistance, grabbed his suitcase with one hand and with the other pulled Dean along and up the stairs and down a long corridor with white walls and pictures Dean just knew must be worth a fortune before opening the third door on the left and steering them through to a bright big room, the late evening sun streaming through two big double windows, giving the whole room a golden orangey glow. A big double bed was the center piece of the room, all made up with cream bedspreads and fluffy cushions, straight out of a Good Housekeeping magazine.
Castiel toed off his shoes and flopped back onto the bed, no bothering to pull back the covers or to remove any layers of clothing. He sighed, massaging his temples.
"Damn," he grumbled.
"What?" Dean enquired, spinning around, eyeing his boyfriend warily.
Nothing- just my head is literally splitting in two and I have no painkillers nor do I know where Gabriel keeps his, if he has any that is."
"I got some in my duffel- in the car. Back in a sec." Dean said and raced out of the room like he was on a mission. He would do anything to make Cas feel better and if all he could do right now was to provide painkillers, he'd happily do so. At least it would make him feel a little useful. He made it as far as the front door where he came to a screeching halt as the damn thing near hit him in the face.
"What the-" He cursed under his breath before coming face to face with Castiel's brother, who looked just as exhausted as Castiel, maybe even more so. The age difference between the brother's definitely showed this evening.
"Oh- hey." Dean offered as an awkward salutation, and Gabriel grunted in reply, eyeing him inquisitively, and Dean started to feel laid bare under the scrutinizing stare, especially with the knowledge that Gabriel knew.
"Just- you know- getting my bag from the car- Cas has a headache and- yeah, painkillers." He stuttered, suddenly feeling tongue tight. Gabriel just nodded as he took off his coat and shoes and headed for the kitchen leaving Dean to go get his bag.
The teenager returned a minute later, closing the door behind him. He walked into the kitchen with the intention of quickly grabbing Cas some water for the pills but stopped when he saw a slouched over Gabriel at the table, nursing what looked like a glass of triple bourbon in his hand. He was sure he should say something given the circumstances.
"Um- I'm sorry for your loss." Was the first thing he could think off, even as he cringed inwardly at the platitude.
Gabriel grunted and lifted his drink in a silent salute before gulping half of it back in one go. "To our beloved father." He drawled and Dean could have sworn he could detect a hint of sarcasm in there.
"Anyway, like everyone keeps on telling us, I'm sure he's in a much better place now." He knocked back the second half of his drink with those words.
Dean had no idea whether Gabriel expected him to reply, so he busied himself with fetching that glass of water he had intended on getting, letting out a non-committal grunt.
"Soo-" Dean's hairs stood on edge at the change in tone in Gabriel's voice. He turned to find himself being fixed by a set of amber eyes.
"Guess you got want you wanted in the end."
"What?" Dean was not really following.
"Oh don't play dumb with me. I'm talking about my little brother. I saw it all those years ago, you know- even warned him about you- like that did much good." He huffed as he poured himself another helping of the drink.
"What? I- I didn't- I do-" Dean was fishing for word, feeling put on the spot, also- Gabriel warned Cas about him? Dean didn't know quite what to do with that information.
"Oh, not blaming you, well maybe a bit. But my idiot brother is old enough to make his own damn mistakes. But I do wonder whether you fully understand- you could really hurt him-"
"I would never-" Dean was quick to protest.
"Not now, but these issues, a relationship with a minor, you could still report him in years to come and cause him some serious trouble, especially in his profession. But let's assume you're not gonna do that still- there are enough states where you're relationship is still illegal until- how old are you now?"
"I'm gonna be seventeen tomorrow." Dean replied numbly. How could Gabriel even think that he could ever hurt Cas on purpose like that? He might be many things but malicious was not one of them.
"Mhhh. I just- I'm not sure either of you idiots know exactly what you've gotten yourself into and, can I be frank?"
Dean swallowed but nodded.
"I know that my brother would be in the wrong in the eye of the law, but I saw him struggle with his feelings for you- and between us, I think we know who probably was the driving force for this- relationship - so I'm gonna give you the big brother speech only once, you try some shit on Castiel, now or later, and I will find you and it won't be pretty. I have contacts."
Dean gulped but nodded his head in understanding. In a way his estimation of the man just rose tenfold. Despite the not so veiled threat, Dean was glad that Cas had at least one member of his family who would look out for him.
"I understand."
"Good, now I'm heading for bed, I can't even see straight anymore. It's been some 48 hours, let me tell you." He said knocking back the rest of his drink. "Just keep it down, you two." He snorted the last bit before leaving a dumbfounded Dean standing in the kitchen. Dean briefly wondered where Gabriel's wife and kids were, he had spotted a family portrait in the hall earlier, but the thought didn't hold his attention for long. Instead they drifted back to Cas and the thought of him and his headache finally made Dean move.
Castiel was face down on the bed, arm slung over his head, like he was trying to block out any remainder of light.
"Hey." Dean sat down next to him, nudging him gently and placing the glass of water on the nightstand. Cas grunted in reply.
"Hold on." Dean said, placing the duffle on his lap and rummaging through it and eventually victoriously producing a pack of Advil. He pressed two tablet out of their casing and nudged Cas again, making the man turn his head. He held the pills out and Castiel obediently opened his mouth letting Dean place them onto his tongue then taking a gulp from the glass Dean held out to him before slumping back down.
"Just give them a few minutes to work." Dean said as he walked over to the windows and pulled the curtains shut, plunging the room into darkness, which he assumed was just what Cas' needed. He went back over to the bed and sat down next to the man, placing a soothing hand on the small of Cas' back.
"You want to sleep? Should I leave? I can go watch some TV or something." Dean enquired, unsure of how to be of any more help.
"No, stay." Castiel said, blindly reaching out with a hand, grabbing Dean's arm and pulling him down next to him. Dean let himself be pulled in easily and flopped down onto the bed molding himself against Cas, wrapping his arms around the man's body.
Cas moved into the touch shuffling his body infinitesimal closer to the teenager, reveling in the warm physical contact. A yawn escaped him as he rested his head against Dean's chest. He so wished he could just collapse and not wake up for at least a day but is mind was whirling and keeping him from finding that much needed rest. He felt warm lips brush against his forehead and opened his eyes, lifting his head slightly and was met with startling green ones. Cas sighed, allowing himself to enjoy the lingering warmth of Dean's lips. Encouraged by Cas' responsiveness, Dean started to place gentle pecks all over his face, forehead, eyebrows, cheeks and nose before gently pressing then against Cas' lips. God he wanted to take all that pain away if he could. But what could he possibly say or do, losing a parent was never easy, no matter whether they had been jerks.
Cas groaned into the kiss, and moved his lips against Dean's, tentatively at first but soon he was kissing back with more fervor, tongue slipping past the teenager's lips as he felt a sudden stirring deep in his gut, those voices that had been in his head for days, finally starting to fade. Hands found their way to the back of Dean's head where they pulled at his short strands and pulled him closer, mouth crushing together almost painfully, teeth clanging.
"Cas?" Dean mumbled as he pulled away for a much needed breath, the name loaded with an unspoken question, as the man started to paw at Dean's shirt, hand sneaking underneath and running up and down Dean's tummy and sides.
"Dean-" Cas moaned, suddenly not sounding tired anymore, but almost desperate, wanton.
"I- Dean, please." Cas groaned as his hand snuck to the button of Dean's jeans, brushing against the teenager's quickly hardening flesh in the process. Dean moaned and arched into the touch, even while he was trying to fully process the sudden change in atmosphere.
"God, Cas- we need to-" Dean stuttered, overwhelmed by the feeling of Cas' hand on his crotch.
"Dean, please, I need you," Cas whimpered as he nibbled at Dean's neck, the friction of the stubble sending a spark of arousal through Dean. He moaned wantonly, it has been too long and if this was what Cas needed right now, Dean could fully get behind that, as the physical need for Cas quickly was overriding all his senses.
"What? Cas- what do you need?" He breathed against Cas' cheek, making the man shiver.
"Need you, please, just Dean, fuck me- please." The words were more of a desperate grunt than actual words but the use of the unusual crude language sent another jolt of electricity straight to Dean's groin.
Before he could reply, Cas' lips were back against his and the man's hand was in his pants and Dean whined and moved with the touch, his own hands palming frantically at Cas' clothes, trying to get them out of the way. He had an urgent desperate need to feel some more of Cas' skin.
"But we don't- how-" Dean tried to retain some form of upper brain function despite Cas' continuous touches driving him crazy . There was no denying the intense desire for the man he was currently on top of, still nerves were making themselves known. Could he do this? Would he be good enough? What if he came too soon?
"My suitcase, toiletry bag." Cas instructed and Dean, half jumped half fell off the bed, as his legs got entangled in his jeans that somehow had ended up halfway down his knees. He rolled and stood up with a groan, shucking out of his trousers in the process. He tried to quieten his thoughts as he rummaged through Cas' suitcase, thinking that really it would have been easier if the man would have done this. A minute later he finally located a small tube of lube inside the toiletry bag, actual lube, still sealed. He turned around trying to give Cas a victorious smile, which slipped off his face when his eyes fell on a fully naked Cas, sitting on the bed, erection jutting out between his legs. Dean's stomach fluttered with excitement, heat traveling up his whole body. God, this man was beautiful and did things to him and if Cas wanted him now, wanted him to fuck him, circumstances be damned, he would try and give it to him.
Quickly taking off his shirt and pulling down his boxers, he climbed onto the bed, touching Cas' strong, hairy thighs, gently stroking up to his hipbones, where his hands came to rest, as their eyes met and Dean's stomach did another flip.
"Lie back." Dean said with more confidence than he felt, and gently pushed against Cas stomach.
"No." Cas protested, making Dean slow his movements. He watched Cas turn and get on his hands and knees in the middle of the bed, positioning himself for easy access.
"Like this." He simply said, looking back at Dean over his shoulder.
"Ok." Dean replied and placed a few kisses along Cas lower spine as his hands fumbled with the seal on the tube.
"Please, Dean." Cas all but begged, body already trembling, Dean could feel the slight tremor under his lips.
"Ok, Cas. I got you." He whispered against his skin, pretty much feeling like he was just making it up as he went as he stroked a wet finger against Cas' perineum moving over his entrance and hesitantly pushing in.
Cas groaned and moved back against his finger immediately, begging him for more already.
"Cas, gotta slow down." Dean remembered how it had felt getting breached down there for the first time, and as far as he knew Cas had never done this before either. He did not want to hurt him.
"Please, more- I just need to- feel-" Cas rasped out. Dean complied and pushed in a second finger. He could feel Cas spasm and clench around him, and was sure it must burn but Cas just begged him to keep going.
Cas felt the intrusion, the slight jolt of pain and burn, and it felt so good but it was not enough. He needed to feel more, wanted to feel alive, wanted to be so filled up with sensation that his thoughts would have no other option but to finally quieten down. He pushed back against Dean and again asked for more, and faster and when Dean finally put in a third finger, he moaned in pleasure as he got that brief reprieve from his mind, focusing in on Dean's fingers instead. Only it didn't last.
"Dean, please, just- do it now, please." Cas accentuated his plea by another thrust of his hips and he heard Dean groan needily behind him.
"You sure you're ready?" The teenager's voice sounded hesitant.
"Yes, just now- please." Cas needed this, needed Dean.
"Ok." Dean finally relented, feeling the last of his resolve break under his own desperate need to just feel Cas. He pulled out his fingers and adding a bit of extra lube lined himself up, already feeling strung too tight and silently prayed that this wouldn't all be over as soon as he pushed inside.
With a last warning and a comforting hand on the small of Cas' back he guided himself in and slowly breached Cas' tight muscle, grunting at the intense pleasure that cursed through him in that moment. He hardly had time to recover before he felt Cas push back against him, taking in all of him in one swift move.
Cas cried out. It hurt. He knew he hadn't been prepared enough but at the same time it was just what he needed. An excuse to finally let go. Tears, that he hadn't allowed to fall earlier at the hospital, not while under the scrutiny of his family, were stinging at the edge of his eyes and he finally, finally allowed them to fall, not needing to hold back anymore as he urged Dean on to please just start moving, voice trembling and hoarse.
Dean started slow and it took them a moment to find a rhythm but then Cas pushed back with desperation against each of Dean's thrusts and the sensations were overwhelming. Cas sobbed into the pillow, biting down onto it to hide the noises from Dean. His thoughts had returned and were running wild in his head. What if his family, his dad could see him like this? What would they say seeing him needy and desperate, getting fucked from behind just like some animal, and fucking loving it. Yes, Cas loved every second of this, loved the teenager who was behind him right now. Screw his family, how dared they look down on him and judge him. Even while he was at the hospital, at his own father's request, he had felt like an outcast. Fuck them all! They were no better than him.
"Cas, I'm not gonna-" Dean grunted breathlessly, pulling Cas out of his headspace. The teenager's thrusts had become erratic and he clung to Cas' hips with a tight grip. He just knew he wouldn't be able to last, and slowed down to try and stave off the inevitable just a bit longer.
"More Dean, please just- harder, hold me-" Cas moaned and pulled himself up a bit, grabbing the headboard to give him more leverage to push back. The new angle made Dean's erection hit his prostate and he cried out, mind going blissfully blank again, biting down on his arm to keep the noise down.
"Cas-" Dean panted. He was sure he had lost his mind. He had never expected this to feel so good, and the way Cas was pushing back and clenching around him, trembling with the early signs of release was nearly enough to have Dean fall over the edge.
"Dean- touch me." Cas whimpered and Dean, without hesitation, moved one of his hands, reached around to stroke hot flesh. Cas was a trembling mess and even though Dean really tried hard not to, it only took him another two thrusts before his orgasm overtook him, shooting out of him, and he couldn't help but to collapse on top of Cas' back, even as his hand still tried to keep some semblance of rhythmic strokes on Cas' cock.
Cas was frantically searching for friction and one of his hands joined Dean's, making the grip so much tighter, painfully so, Dean guessed, and moved them together in hard unyielding strokes until he too came a moment later.
They both collapsed onto the bed, Dean half on top of Cas, as they fought to get their breathing under control. For a long moment all Dean could hear was a buzzing in his ear and the beating of his heart. But when he came back around the silent sobs from the man next to him where like a bucket of cold water.
"Cas? Hey, you're ok?" He placed a hand over the man's back, who now was wracked by more body shudders as he couldn't hold back the tears.
"No." He managed to get out between gulps of air. Dean didn't know what to do. Had he hurt Cas? God, he never wanted to hurt Cas. He knew they had moved this whole thing along too fast. Just as he was working himself up into a mental frenzy, a hand clutched his own, and Cas turned and looked at him through red rimed eyes.
"No I'm not." Cas said taking a shuddering breath, looking deep into Dean's eyes, before resting his head against Dean's chest and clinging to Dean like he would disappear at any second. "But you're here, it helps." He added almost inaudibly, yet Dean caught the words and gripped Cas tight in response, one of his hands drawing soothing patterns on the small of Cas' back.
"I don't- I didn't make it in time to say goodbye." Cas eventually said, as Dean felt renewed tears against his bare chest. "I never get to find out why he wanted me to come, what he wanted to say to me." Cas carried on, grief evident in his voice and Dean, for a lack of what else to do, just held him tighter.
After a moment he felt Cas' head shift and was met with shiny blue, red rimmed eyes. Cas brought his head up and placed a kiss on Dean' now trembling lips, as he too suddenly felt like crying.
"Thank you." Cas said after a long moment of silence where they just clung onto each other.
"What for?" Dean enquired.
"For everything. For not listening to me and coming here, for giving me just want I needed, for- loving me." He near whispered the last few words and Dean might have almost missed them.
"Always." Dean declared and sealed this simple truth with another gentle kiss. Cas' head fell against his chest and Dean could feel the exhaustion finally catch up with the man, his lover, as his eyelids kept drooping close. He whispered sweet nothings in his ear and stroked his hair until Cas finally fell asleep. Only once Dean was certain Cas was out for the night did he allow himself to move the man under the blankets. He joined him a moment later and wrapping his arms and legs around the older man, soon followed him into dream land.
Bottom Cas. Also slightly rough sex, which I hope will make sense in the context of the chapter.