Courtyard, Issei's PoV
Why do morons always have to destroy everything while fighting, you think buildings are that easily replaced?
It's the same with all you people. Explosions everywhere with every attack, please come back when you have something more original. I have no more hope for these two…
Diodora has stormtrooper aim with his infinite exploding swords and keeps blowing up every statue and fountain in the courtyard while Marcus's laser sword keeps littering the ground with cuts. I don't think this church will be left standing after this little scuffle.
"Stand still you little shit!" Stupid would be a good word to describe how I feel about Diodora right now. I mean really, who would just stand there and take your attack?
Ddraig, how's the escape plan coming along?
[Says here on the script that Raynare should fly above us soon. We can use that opening to break through their guard and get out of this mess.]
[Also, may I suggest Japan as our next destination?] That name seems awfully familiar… And no, we're not going to the land of the rising sun.
[She's the fallen angel who kills you in the original script. I don't think she remembers any of us after we diverged from the plot though.]
Oh yeah, I remember now. It's been so long since I last saw her face though…
[Toothpicks from behind and Jedi coming from the right.]
I consumed a small portion of the accumulated boosts to give myself an increase to speed to dodge the oncoming projectiles.
Twisting my body, I narrowly dodged the beam sword from the exorcist. However, it still burnt off a part of my coat from the heat energy emitted from the blade.
This should be the time that Raynare flies above us. Time to initiate that plan…
"Look! A UFO!" I pointed into the air and Diodora was the only one stupid enough to fall for it.
Jumping backwards, I gathered energy into my right hand and released it in the direction Diodora and Marcus were standing.
The propulsion from the spell allowed me to gain a huge distance advantage and I reactivated the same spell but this time, I aimed it towards the ground. The effect was instantaneous and a huge wall of dirt erupted from below as I continued putting distance between us.
I felt a massive surge of demonic energy being gathered behind me. I consumed more boosts and narrowly dodged another beam attack, this time it's from Diodora instead of Marcus's laser sword.
The general direction the beam was fired in became charred and a massive chasm formed from the sheer force of the beam going along the ground. And my coat is now ruined… dammit!
Speaking of exorcists, I wonder how Michael is dealing with heaven after God's death. I gathered water from the air and began quenching my thirst. Running away from two idiots takes a toll on my body after all!
[Last time I checked, Gabriel discovered the internet and she's been putting off work to watch cat videos.] I choked on my drink and went into a violent fit of coughing.
Dammit Ddraig seriously? Did you really have to tell me these things while I'm drinking?
Ddraig and I then shared a moment of silence for heaven.
[Well... Rest in bananas Michael, we will miss you and your bad aim.] I swear Ddraig has way too much things to say about the angels.
Well, we could take a slight detour to heaven to take a look around after we escape.
[Road trip baby!] Ddraig then took out his cooler and aviator sunglasses and got into his dragon sized swimming trunks.
Let's just hope they don't find us before we do anything else.
Raynare's PoV
Trees. Trees as far as my eye could see…
Dohnaseek told me that the church for lesbians would be somewhere in this forest. Argh, my legs still hurt from all this walking, this better be worth it to get this stupid little charm for Mittelt.
Thinking back, why did Dohnaseek even know about this place?
"Where the hell is it?!" I can't take it anymore! There are bugs in my hair, my feet are sore and I'm about 20 seconds in to burning this whole forest down.
"Excuse me miss?" Huh, Italian? Looking down, I could see a cute little girl in a nun outfit tugged on my pantyhose. Aww she's adorable, I could just take her home and snuggle her in my bed…
"Are you looking for our church? Are you one of the seekers of our faith of love between women?"
She panned her view up to take a look at my face. I noticed that she had a purple diamond shaped jewel embedded into her forehead with some markings emerging form it.
"Err, I'm just here to look for this charm," I took out a picture of said charm and presented it to the little nun "it's for one of my friends."
The little nun then made an adorable pout before stamping her feet on the ground repeatedly.
"Everyone always says it's for their friends! Just admit that you like girls as well, we don't discriminate against anyone here." The nun suddenly pointed her finger at me.
"If you can't even accept your feelings, how will you express your love to the world? Anyw-"
I quickly grabbed the nun interrupting her, unfurled my wings and took to the skies. A sword then landed right where the nun was originally standing before detonating and taking a large chunk of the forest along with it.
"Wawawa- Who dares to desecrate this holy land?" Her face was a mixture of panic and worry as she stared at the burning crater below us.
If this nun keeps being this cute I don't think I can hold myself back from glomping her.
"Miss Fallen Angel, please take us there." I see a faint outline of a church there and… Ah! I forgot my wings were out.
"Do not worry Miss, we do not hate the fallen unlike some other churches. Some of our regular members are fallen themselves." Flashing me a cute little smile, she wriggled one of her hands out of my hug and patted me on the head.
"Oh! It's great to be able to talk to someone from a church without getting scorned. My name is Raynare, and yours?" I did a barrel roll mid-flight to dodge an incoming sword projectile.
"No sudden movements like that again Miss Raynare!" She spoke through her panting. Catching her breath, she continued "I'm the second head nun of this church, you can call me Lily and-" The nun paused and suddenly went wide eyed, making me go on high alert.
"Look out!" Jerking to the side, I held the nun tight as a giant ray of crimson roared past me. The beam ate through most of the forest and the ground, leaving a giant ravine where it travelled before is dissipated.
The smell of burning earth filled my nostrils and tears were beginning to from at the corner of my eyes from the piercing stench.
I flew overhead and landed somewhere behind the church so that those attackers would not notice us. Lily then took off her hood and allowed her hair to come free.
"Miss Raynare, could you help me lift this trapdoor?" She pointed at a part of the dirt that had a small handle jutting out. It was not something you could notice unless you were actively looking for it.
I pulled the handle and lifted the metal plate up, "just call me Raynare, no need to be so formal Lily."
She nodded before turning her attention to the stairs leading downward below the church.
"So where does this lead to?" I was fairly curious why there was a need for a trapdoor in a peaceful place such as this.
"The basement is the safest place in this church," Lily then made an adorable pouting face "the previous nun used almost all our funds to make an impenetrable disco hall which we're using as the safe room."
She sulked as we continued to walk down these stairs. "I really wanted larger beds but she always goes on about her Saturday night fever. I don't hate her, but I'm not too fond of how she splurges on disco merchandise."
"We're here" Lily stopped in front of a rotten looking mahogany door. This is the safest place in the church? That door looks like it could fall if I just blew on it.
Lily then knocked on the door with a rhythmic pattern sort of like a code of some kind.
"Head Nun Lily? Is that you out there?" A girl's voice could be heard from behind the door. She sounded fairly young and was speaking in Italian.
"Miss Argento, please open this door and contact Lady Gabriel immediately. We have intruders within the sacred grounds." The door slowly creaked open revealing a young girl about eight to ten years of age with flowing blonde hair and beautiful emerald eyes.
"Sooooooooo Cuteeeeeeee!" I leaped into action immediately, tackling the girl down on the ground and locking her in my specialty hug.
"Head Nun Lily, Helpppppp meeeeee!" Asia moaned out as I continued to glomp her mercilessly. Lily merely gave an undignified giggle and closed the door behind me.
Lily headed towards the magic circle drawn on the disco ball that was hanging on the ceiling and channelled her mana into the lighting system along with two other nuns.
One of the nuns had emerald eyes and blonde hair that reached towards her legs and a pair of breasts that were at least double of my size… Somehow, I felt like I lost somewhere as an older sister figure as I looked at her.
The other nun was about the same size as Lily. I could not see her face clearly under her nun hood but my cute radar was going off the charts. This place is the best!
Wiping off the blood dripping from my nose, the entire area was suddenly engulfed in pure white and I felt nauseous from the effect of transportation magic.
Warmth soon filled my body as the little girl I was hugging emitted a distinct healing magic that I was familiar with. The sacred gear twilight healing.
I could not thank the little girl as we soon found ourselves face to face with… Gabriel's back?
Why is she wearing her pyjamas and sitting cross-legged on a computer chair while watching cat videos on a laptop? What a surreal sight.
Lily then began to explain the situation to Gabriel…
Dimensional Gap
The Dimensional Gap, a place filled with the dreams of countless lives that float endlessly through its expanse. Within this world, the crimson dragon that governs the world of dreams and the pitch black serpent that embodies everlasting and eternal power exist.
They clashed for supremacy over the rightful ownership of this sacred space. And their names were…
"Fucka, fucka! Great Red is a fucka!" A small girl that looked about 10 years of age wearing a Gothic Lolita styled dress, was giving the finger to an enormous crimson dragon that was tailing her from the back. She was also holding onto a large black rectangle plate that was at least 200 times her own size.
As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, their names were…
"Ophis, if you know what is best for your continued existence you will return my laptop to me." The crimson dragon spoke. Power could be felt from his words alone, as if he could erase your very existence from speaking…
"Eat shit you English motherfucka! Women iz strongest!" Ophis then did 10,000 barrel rolls just because she can.
Great Red then made a facepalm motion with his wing. "Is this my punishment? This is what I get for letting an immortal with a mental age of 10 access Tumblr…"
"God dammit Ddraig, where the hell are you when I need you the most?" Great Red then let out a sigh of defeat before taking out his dragon sized cell phone and dialling a number.
[Hello? This is Ddraig speaking.] The voice on the phone spoke.
"Where the fuck are you two? I thought I sent you guys to the nearest entrance to the Dimensional Gap and," Ophis started juggling the giant laptop while barrel rolling. "Ophis if that laptop gets destroyed I will fucking tear your ovaries out!"
[Sorry the connection was lost for a second there. Issei and I are going on a short holiday to heaven at the moment.]
"Fuck the holiday, get both your asses in high gear for rape if you two don't get in the Dimensional Gap right now! I'm not babysitting your big sister Ophis any longer."
The call then cut off momentarily before a recording was played. [You have reached, Ddraig. He is not available at the moment… please leave a message after the beep.]
A tick mark formed on Great Red's head and the space surrounding his entire body began distorting from the anger he emitted. "Those two morons are so fucking dead…"
This story was written for pure crack and will be updated infrequently.
And before I forget, Highschool DxD owned by Ichiei Ishibumi and [Insert legal jargon here].
Uploaded on: 10/12/2015
Last edited on: N/A