I admit that although the plan for me to remain on the island was mine, I underestimated just how trying an experience it would be. Tamaraneans do not do well in prisons. We need to fly free, to float in the atmosphere and absorb the sun's rays for our green energy. Although we never said it, we were all in silent agreement that I would take no trips into the atmosphere to absorb sunlight. Trips into the city for groceries and supplies were conducted by the others. Within the first week I began to feel like the caged tiger, pacing back and forth ready to spring at the first chance for freedom.
There was much work for me to do to keep my mind off of things. While Cyborg could lift many of our building supplies by himself, he could not always position or stabilize them the way I could with my flight. Raven was most helpful in relocating and erecting the walls, but she required constant guidance from Robin and Cyborg on where to position each piece. My education on Tamaran gave me a thorough understanding of what Cyborg calls structural engineering. Tamaraneans often have to create shelter when traveling to other planets and while our preferred dwellings differ stylistically from Earthen homes, the science involved in their construction is the same. My starbolts prevented the need for welding equipment, and I worked from dawn until dusk melting steel into place. Once the sun set I quickly burned through my stores of energy and could not continue, so each evening Robin encouraged me to rest and store up what sunlight I could to recharge for the night.
Robin was never far away. He saw everything and did what he could to lessen my feelings of restlessness. Most nights he would walk down to the beach with me to watch the sunset. There he would kiss me until the sky grew dark and one of the others called to tell us that dinner had been prepared. I loved those moments. I read the apology in his touch, the love and caring that he had spent so long trying to conceal.
"I know this isn't easy for you, Star," he said as we walked hand in hand down to the beach on the evening of the second week. "But by tomorrow night we should have the outter shell completed. I thought since you've been working so hard you could have first choice on where you want your room. I remember you once told me you prefer late afternoon sun. You can have one of the western-facing rooms."
"I do not recall telling you that," I said, surprised. He gave me his lopsided smile of bashfulness I had come to adore.
"It wasn't to me directly. I walked into the common room when you and Beast Boy were laying in the sun and I overheard you talking about how much you loved the late afternoon sunlight because the rays are more concentrated. It makes sense. Humans are warned to protect their skin during those hours. I faced your room to the east last time because I thought you would want to wake up with the sun." As he spoke his face turned a charming shade of red. I ducked down to kiss his cheek. I recalled the conversation. It was the first time Beast Boy and I discovered our shared enjoyment of napping in the sunlight on afternoons when there were no patrols. That Robin remembered spoke volumes to me about how closely he had paid attention even then.
"I had Raven bring some paint samples and fabric swatches back with her too. If you want your room exactly the way it was before we can get those colors, or you can pick out new ones if you want."
"Will you make changes to your room?" I asked, curious. His room at the Tower was so different from the one at the mansion.
"I think I'll put in more workspace, but I don't need much besides a bed and a closet."
"Is it not customary for the boyfriend to keep pictures of his girlfriend in his room?" I teased. Before, Robin's walls had been completely bare except for the bulletin board where he tracked his leads. There were no clues to his identity as Dick Grayson or his connection to Bruce. I wondered if he preferred it that way, no reminders of his friends and family so that he could focus solely on cases.
"Actually, I already have one. At least I did."
"You did?"
He nodded.
"Yea, it was a newspaper clipping from when you first landed on Earth. We had just defeated the Gordanians and the photographer caught you smiling once you realized you wouldn't have to go back."
"Why did you keep it?" I was intrigued. The Robin I remembered meeting had been determined to keep all of us at arm's length. That he had kept a photo from that first day made me realize that there were so many things about him that I did not know.
"Your language transference was my first kiss, Starfire." He scratched the back of his neck, avoiding my eye with the discomfort I was growing accustomed to seeing when he spoke of his feelings. "For a long time I thought we could never be together, but I wanted something to remember it by."
"And do you keep memories of the others too?"
He nodded, ducking his head slightly. "I had a file of clippings from over the years. If things didn't work out and the Titans split up I wanted to remember our good times."
I was so busy staring at him that I nearly flew into a boulder down on the shore. His hand tugged mine sharply, pulling me against him and I inhaled the familiar warm smell of him through his uniform. It was strange to think that there was so many things about our time as Titan that I had failed to notice. He had heard and remembered something from years ago that even I had forgotten, and all this time he had been keeping memories from all our times together because they mattered so much to him.
"And do you..." I bit my lip, uncertain whether to ask. "Do you keep memories of your time with Batman?" He stiffened. Instantly I regretted doing the asking of it. If history was any indication he would do the shutting down and I would have to wait until the next time he felt comfortable enough to do the opening up to me.
"Yea," he said finally. "There have been plenty of times where I want to burn it, but I can't. I knew if anything ever happened to him I would want to have those things to remind me of how things used to be. We weren't always at each other's throats. There was a time when I really looked up to him."
"You still do, Robin. You may not always agree with him but it is clear that his approval still matters greatly to you."
"Too bad I'll never get it," he muttered. He sat down on the sand and wrapped his arms around his knees as he stared broodily out over the harbor. I landed beside him and put my hand on his shoulder.
"I may not have spent much time with him, but I cannot believe that the man I met would have allowed you to fight at his side if he did not approve of you. He continues to provide you with updated equipment even though you are no longer as close as you once were, and he opened his home to the Titans even though he guards his secrets from even top members of the Justice League because he trusted your judgment."
"He didn't have much choice. You just showed up on his doorstep."
I gave my best impression of the look of disbelief Cyborg often gives Beast Boy when he tries to explain one o his impulse decisions that often do the firing back on him.
"Okay, okay, maybe he didn't have to let you stay there..." He agreed with a low chuckle. "Look, I don't want to think about him when I'm sitting on a beach with you and there's no one else around." He leaned toward me with a small smile.
"How touching," drawled a cold voice that sent shivers down my spine. Robin spun around, but the sand made it difficult for him to get to his feet. His flailing sent a spray of it into my eyes I had to shake my head to clear.
Slade stood nearby leaning against a large boulder. His uniform was slick, implying that he had come from the water, though how he could have swum the distance from shore without alerting any of our new security measures was beyond my understanding.
"You disappoint me, Robin. I thought you were above such vapid self-indulgence. Clearly I gave you too much credit."
"It was a mistake for you to come here, Slade," Robin growled.
I did not wait for the customary banter. I do eat him, right hand outstretched to seize him by the throat.
"Starfire, no!" Robin shouted.
Slade moved faster than I would have thought possible. Though there could not have been more than ten feet between us he managed to uncross his arms and raise a dagger just in time for me to impale myself to the hilt.
"Ungh...!" The force of impact drew the guttural sound from my lungs. Slade was so close we were practically nose to nose. A tingling sensation started in my toes, creeping quickly up into my legs.
My flight failed me and I landed hard on the ground.
"STARFIRE!"
A/N: Yes I know it's been entirely too long since I updated this story and unfortunately I can't promise do better about that in the future. I will finish though. There's nothing I hate more than a story not making it to the end, so for anyone willing to bear with me, thank you. And yea, it probably wasn't very nice of me to end on that kind of cliffhanger either...