A/N Please leave a review. I do not own the characters but I do own the plot and my mistakes (Im also looking for someone to Beta my story).
I know the story currently seems a little sad but it will pick up!
Enjoy!
The corridors were empty when Regina headed back to her room that afternoon. Lips still felt hot from Emma Swans assault earlier that morning, her mind hadn't stopped replaying the scene in her head, and almost automatically her tongue escaped her mouth, swiping it lightly across her bottom lip. For the first time in 7 years she felt hungry, not the kind of hunger her therapist would be please with, it was the hunger for intimacy, the hunger for someone to want her.
When she reached her room she noticed Nurse Nolan stripping her bed. Rolling her eyes she sighed; room checks. "You won't find anything in here today" She smirked leaning against her door frame.
Straightening himself he headed towards a single poster on the wall lifting the corner. Regina felt the air being sucked out the room as he pulled the blue tack off the paper "Is that so Miss Mills?" Pulling apart the putty material a sigh left his lips as he held the small silver blade, "You know I'm going to have to report this to Dr Hopper, don't you?" he sighed.
"Well you don't have to" her eyes dropped to the floor as she scrunched her toes into the carpet "Unless you want him to find out about your little secret" a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she glanced up at him.
"You're bluffing" he breathed taking a step towards her he gripped her wrist and pulled her further into the room. Letting her go he glanced down the hall way before turning back around to face the brunette.
"Go ahead tell him. I'm sure Dr Hopper would be more than interested to discover what his staff are up to after hours" she smirked holding her hand out in front of her "Hand it over"
Eyeing her cautiously he placed the blade back into her hand "Next time it won't be me searching your room, so count yourself lucky this time" he snapped as he grabbed hold of her wrist "And I won't be blackmailed by some crazy little bi-"
"Everything okay here Regina" Letting out a shaky breath pulled her arm out of David's grasp, looking over his shoulder as she noticed Jefferson stood in the door way.
"Everything is just fine, isn't that right Nurse Nolan" she smiled sweetly as the man narrowed his eyes at her.
"Yes everything is fine Jefferson" he muttered "We're not finished here Mills" he whispered as he turned and left the room.
Regina suddenly felt the room spin as she gripped hold of her bed frame; she felt a pair of arms wrap around her slender waist as she was slowly lowered to her bed. "Thank you" she whispered as she let out a shaky breath.
"Are you going to tell me what that was all about?" he asked nodding his head towards the door "Nolan looked pissed" he chuckled as Regina regained her strength.
"He's just pissed because I threatened to expose the dirty pig to Hopper" hearing a gasp from the door way she looked up noticing Mary-Margaret staring at her in shock.
"Regina, I trusted you" she whispered. Regina rolled her eyes pulling her legs beneath her as she leant against the wall.
"You can't seriously believe he loves you" she scoffed "Oh sweetie believe me, you're not the only one he's screwing in the janitor's closet, and it's not like you aren't screwing around with other people"
"You're lying!" she screaming storming towards the brunette before grabbing hold of her hair "Tell me you're lying" Regina grabbed the girls wrists pushing her with as must strength she could to try and pry her off her.
Tears pricked the corner of her eyes, she looked over at Jefferson who was now perched on her bedroom floor, knees drawn up to his chest as he muttered to himself, tapping the side of his head harshly with his fist. "Mary-Margaret get the fuck off me" she cried digging her nails into the girl's wrists as she continued to tug on her hair.
"Get off her you pscho" Regina frowned as she heard the familiar voice shout before the grip on her hair loosened and Mary-Margaret was on the floor. Emma straddled the small woman's waist punching her in the jaw "Never touch her again, do you fucking hear me?" she spat standing up as Mary-Margaret ran out of the room.
The blonde turned around slowly, her breathing uneven as she looked Regina up and down. "I'm sorry I didn't get her sooner" she whispered stepping towards the brunette. Emma knelt on the floor, reaching up to cup the woman's face. Regina closed her eyes as she felt the other woman's thumbs wipe away her tears.
"How did you know?" Regina whispered as she opened her eyes.
"They told me" she whispered. Brown eyes searched blue as she tried to work out who they were, "You need to be more careful causing trouble in here. I can't always be here to protect you."
Regina scoffed turning her head to the side "I don't need your protection". Regina frowned as she noticed Jefferson was no longer sat in her room. "I've been here a lot longer than you Miss Swan and I have managed to get by just fine without your help"
"You think this is getting by" she laughed removing her hand from the woman's face before placing it on Regina's ribs "There's nothing of you" tilting her head to the side she frowned "I'm here to save you, they told me to come and save you, I know who you are, and you don't have to worry." She whispered stroking her side "I'll keep your secret safe until you're better".
"There nothing wrong with me" she screamed kicking the blond away "You're the one that's crazy now leave me alone"
Emma fell backwards, wide eyes searched Regina's as tears continued to make their way down her cheeks. "You'll regret saying this Regina, you do not want to make an enemy out of me" she muttered pushing herself off the floor.
"You don't frighten me" she laughed as she stared at the blonde "There nothing you can do to hurt me that I haven't done already."
A small smirk tugged at the corner of Emma's lips as she turned and headed for the door "Oh and Regina, you have no idea what I'm capable of".
The treat lingered in the room for the rest on the afternoon, uncertainty bubbled in the brunette's stomach as she lay on her bed. She also felt guilty she shouldn't have said anything to Mary-Margaret, the girl was her friend, the one person who had shown her physical comfort , held her when she cried and whispered words of reassurance after appointments with Dr Hopper. Mary-Margaret knew Regina was frightened of her diagnosis, she knew Regina was scared of dying but she never judged Regina, nor did she force her to do anything she didn't want her to.
Feeling a tear trickle down the side of her face she sighed and rolled of her bed heading to the only other room she felt comfortable in.
Knocking seven times lightly on the door she waited patiently. Smiling sheepishly as the other brunette glared at her Regina bowed her head "I'm sorry" she whispered
Opening the door wider Mary-Margaret allowed her to step past her into her room. Regina glanced around feeling uneasy, too scared to move as she noticed the room was somehow tidier than usual, more guilt flooded her stomach as she realised she had probably triggered the girls OCD.
"He never slept with anyone else" she muttered "And I won't tell Dr Hopper, you have my word" she smiled raising her hand to her chest.
"For a moment I thought I hated you" Regina felt the pain in her chest as the girls words echoed around the room "But then I realised you were just scared, you were trying to hurt others because you were scared." She sighed "So what did he find?"
"A blade" she muttered bowing her head in shame.
Mary Margaret reached for Regina's arm. Pulling up the sleeve she frowned, there were no new visible marks on her arms. "Drop your trousers and lift up your top." She snapped feeling defeated.
Too scared to disobey her friend she complied, her trousers hit the floor first before she pulled her top up to just below her breasts. Mary-Margaret gasped as she stepped forward tracing her fingers along one of the cuts just below Regina's hip. The brunette winced tightening her grip on her top.
"Has Hopper seen these?" Regina shook her head dropping her top before pulling up her trousers. Mary-Margaret frowned before heading over to her bed and laying down. Patting the space next to her Regina smiled crawling on the bed next to her friend as she cuddled into her side. "The blade was clean right?" she muttered into Regina's hair as she ran her fingers down her back.
"I think so" she whispered as she closed her eyes finally feeling safe for the first time that day. "I don't even know why I did it this time. When I stopped I felt guilty, I knew what I did was wrong but I just couldn't stop."
"But you knew it was wrong?" Regina nodded her head.
"For the first time I knew it was wrong. That's why I didn't want David to tell on me, I didn't want Hopper to know because this is progress, I'm making progress" she smiled, a small amount of pride washed over her as she gripped the hand that was now resting on her waist.
"I am proud of you Regina-"
"But?"
"But you need to tell Dr Hopper yourself, you need to explain to him what you just told me. He'll see you're making progress. Perhaps he can allow you to have meals with the rest of us?" she mused running her fingers through Regina's hair.
"You think so?" Regina muttered looking up at her friend.
"I do." Mary-Margaret smiled.
Her mind was running wild. Ana screaming at her for punishing her body with the snack she had been forced to eat. She didn't want to, but she also didn't want to be sectioned. Once she was sectioned she would have no control over her body, and she needed that control; Ana needed that control.
She had already thrown up twice, forcing the granola bar back up past her lips and she heaved and heaved until there was nothing else weighing her down. But it wasn't enough, Ana had told her it wasn't enough, she needed to be punished.
She stood in the middle of the room, her nails digging into her palm; she shook her head, stripping out of her clothes before walking over to that stupid poster of One Direction that hung on her wall, one of the female nurses had brought it her as a surprise hoping it would cheer the brunette up, but if anything it made things worse, it was just a reminder of the world she was missing out on, a reminder that she had been locked away. Peeling the corner back the pulled off the large blob of blue tack, pulling it apart as she retrieved the silver item.
Sighing in relief she kissed the metal, looking down at her stomach she smiled dragging the blade across her skin, it didn't take long before blood was making its way out of her body, but it wasn't enough, she needed more. She repeated the process, attacking more of her stomach before moving down to the tops of her thighs.
"no, no ,no" she muttered into the darkness as she pressed her hands to the damaged flesh, "No" she cried trying to smear the blood into her skin "Please stop" she hissed as she fell to the floor, pulling her knees into her chest as she cried herself to a restless sleep.
"Would you be willing to remove your clothes Regina?" Dr Hopper smiled as he placed his note book and pen on the table and lent forward. "If you'd like I can leave the room, Ashley can help you undress and take a few pictures for me"
"No, no it's fine" Regina stood slowly reaching for the hem of her t-shirt as she lifted it over her head. Dr Hopper cleared his throat as he looked at the evidence of Regina's self-punishment. Regina suddenly felt self-conscious, feeling the need to cover up she crossed her arms across her chest. Dr Hopper frowned as he picked up his book again as he scribbled down some notes.
"You can put your shirt back on now Miss Mills" he exhaled clicking his pen as he re-read what he had wrote.
"What are you writing? I said I felt guilty afterwards? This is progress" she stuttered as she pulled her top back over her head.
"I'm afraid not Regina" Her eyes grew wide as she looked around the room, frowning as she shook her head.
"No" she whispered "No, no, this is progress, I'm making progress, and Mary-Margaret said this was progress" she screamed walking backwards until her back hit the wall.
"Regina I need you to calm down" he asked politely as he stood up and made his was over to her.
"Please" she cried "Please don't do this. I can change, I can get better, and I'll do better" she pleaded as her nails dug into the skin of her hips.
"Regina, this isn't the first time I've been asked to review your case this week. You're still refusing to eat at meal times, you're not responding to group therapy, you barely leave you room and now this. Mary-Margaret is not your doctor, nor is she qualified to assess your condition, and she shouldn't be putting that false hope inside your head. I'm afraid I have no other option but to-"
"No" she screamed, slowly sliding down the wall until she hit the floor "Please" she barely whispered
"Regina Mills, I'm afraid I'm going to have to section you under the Mental Health Act, as the patient you will be detained and treated against your will, your wished will be taken into account by the team of medical staff involved in your treatment. Regina this is for your own good, please understand that we are just trying to help you. Both I and Dr French agree that you should be detained for treatment in the interests of your own health and safety. Your mother has already been contacted and we have her written permission to detain you under section three of the Mental Health Act"
Numb. She felt numb, she had been warned over and over again but she had been getting better, "How long?" she muttered
"Sorry? I didn't quite catch that"
"How long" she snapped pulling herself off the floor "How long do you intend on torturing me?"
"Regina, no one is going to torture you" he frowned "This is for your own good. Your care and treatment will be provided in the least restrictive way possible"
"How. Long." She said through gritted teeth
"Six months" She felt dizzy, almost like all the air had been knocked out of her, bracing her hand against the wall behind her she hunched forward feeling the bile making its way up her throat. "Regina I need you to take a deep breath" he soothed pulling his pager out of his pocket.
What felt like seconds later Ashley was holding onto one of Regina's arms whilst the other made its way around her waist to support her as she ease her out of the room and down a narrow corridor. "It's okay sweetie" she smiled rubbing her hand up and down her arm "We're just going to get you bathed and comfortable before I get you fed, weighed and settled back into your room"
Regina nodded, drowning out the girl's voice as she continued to talk to her. A thousand things ran through her head as she tried to process the repercussions of her actions. She wanted to run but she knew it was no use. So she let the nurse strip her, bathe her, feed her and put her to bed. She hadn't said a word, just remained numb as she lay flat on her back staring at the ceiling.
"Regina?" closing her eyes as her bottom lip wobbled she turned her head to the side staring at the woman at her door. "I was too late again wasn't I?"
For some reason the brunette found herself nodding. She knew it wasn't anyone's fault but her own, but she just wanted someone else to blame, anyone else to blame.
"I am sorry" the blonde whispered into the darkness as she crept over to the side of the bed. She knelt to the floor, leaning over the broken brunette as she pushed her hair out of her face. "I promise you won't be alone anymore. Despite who you are, you don't deserve to be alone, no one does"
Regina bit down on her lip, choking back a sob as brown eyes searched blue. "Do you mean it?" she whispered reaching up to grab the hand that was stroking the side of her face.
"I mean it Regina. And I'm sorry about what I said before, I'd never hurt you, I'm here to save you, I'm the saviour." She smiled reassuringly as she tilted her head to the side "You don't believe me right now but you will get your happy ending, I will fix this, I'll fix all of this"
"You're not making an sense" Regina chuckled as she continued to grip Emma's hand.
"Does anything make sense in this world?" she asked raising an eyebrow. "This will all make sense one day; I just have to figure out how to break this curse. I just need to find a way to get you all to believe me" frowning at the blonde statement she pushed herself further towards the wall.
"Do you think you can stay with me tonight?" Regina pleaded opening her arms as she gazed into the blondes eyes
"You know I can't. There will be someone here soon, someone to come watch you" she sighed "I should have gotten here sooner" she muttered to herself as she looked away from Regina.
"I don't want to be alone" she begged reaching out for Emma.
"I wish I could. But for now my broken queen you must sleep. I will get you out of here." Leaning forward she placed a lingering kiss on Regina's cheek as she stood up and headed towards the door. "I will" she promised closing the door behind her.
Regina cried. She cried as Ashley walked into her room to check on her, she cried as the lights flickered seven times in the hallway, she cried as the hospital fell silent and she cried as sunlight flooded her bedroom.
She was truly alone.