A/N I do not own the character but i do own the plot and my mistakes. Sorry for the slow updates but life got in the way, please leave a review as they do motivate me to update sooner.

Regina was woken up a little after seven the next morning. Her limbs were stiff and her throat was sore. She was sure by now her throat would permanently feel numb after the many years of dry heaving, but today was different, today she was feeling the effects of the sobs that crawled up her esophagus, out of her mouth and into the darkness. She lingered in bed whilst her nurse did a sweep of the room.

Everyone else was still asleep, Regina was sure of it; she would have been woken up earlier to have her weigh in, breakfast and meeting with Dr Hopper all before 9 am. She didn't mind, she was an early riser anyway, but now being forced to comply with everything that was going to be thrown t her, she wasn't sure she would be able to handle it. How could she be prepared to give someone the control over her body that she had worked so long on obtaining herself? Cora, her mother, had taken everything else away and now this?

"Come on Regina, the sooner we get you up, the sooner we can get you weighed and fed" Rolling her eyes at the enthusiasm in Ashley's voice she sighed as she slowly stood up and followed the blonde down the corridor and into the private examining room.

The room was white, dimly lit, and smelt like bleach. It was different to any other room on the ward; it felt alien, leaving Regina feeling uncomfortable and tense. Her gaze shifted around the room noticing the measuring charts and scales across from her. She had been weighed before but usually it was in one of the smaller rooms closer to her room, one that had tan walls, and warm lights, one that made her feel safe and more at ease.

"Um Regina, are you listening to me?" Ashley asks cautiously as she stands in front of the brunette waving her hand lightly. "I asked if you'd please remove your dressing gown and step onto the scales please."

"Yes" she replies slowly. Untying her robe from around her waist she lets it fall off her shoulders and onto the floor. She notices Ashley's gaze lingering on her waist a little longer than she'd liked, but she doesn't say anything, she doesn't have the energy. "I'm sorry" she whispers as she steps onto the scales turning her head away from the woman.

"Sorry?" Ashley frowns as she adjusts the height recorder so that its level with Regina's head. She makes quick work of noting down her height and weight before calculating the woman's BMI.

"For when you first tried to do this, and well I" her voice grew smaller as she drew her nail across her thigh "I can't imagine that went down well with Hopper" she smiled sheepishly.

"Oh yes, that" Ashley winced "It was nothing I couldn't handle, and the fault was mine, but I still have my job don't I so all is not lost." She chuckled "I also probably shouldn't be discussing this with you" she rambled helping Regina back into her robe. "Now back to the real work." She smiled guiding Regina over to the small desk and chairs across from each other in the corner of the room.

"So this is where you issue me my punishment right?" the brunette scoffed as she took a seat

"Regina this is not a punishment, we're here to help you. Now here I have two diaries, one to monitor your eating behaviour's and another for you to use to write down your thoughts and feelings towards food. Now this is compulsory as part of your treatment and you will be asked to bring these diaries with you to your appointments with myself and Dr Hopper. Now do you have any questions?" she asked sliding the two black diaries over to the younger woman.

"I I I mean, no I don't think so" she stuttered taking the diaries in between her fingertips.

"Well then, I think that my primary assessment over and done with, I do believe Dr Hopper has an appointment with you this morning" Regina nodded her head, pulling her lip between her teeth as she bit it anxiously, "Come on dear, we don't want to keep the man waiting now do we"

Standing up on shaking legs she hesitantly followed Ashley to Dr Hopper's office.

"Regina, Please come in" Dr Hopper greeted her as she stood beside Ashley in the doorway of his office. "Ashley may I have a word outside" he asked ushering the woman out of the room as she waved goodbye to Regina.

She stood alone in the room, paranoia stroking the back of her skull as she thought about what Ashley and Hopper were discussing about her on the other side of the door. It was then that the thoughts of when it all began resurfaced.

It was the headache that hit her first. The constant pounding, all day long, even in her dreams. There was this feeling of light-headedness, the constant confusion of whether or not she was really here, the state of dreaming, but really being awake. She had always been hyper aware of food. The awareness of food around her, someone could be opening a sandwich behind her and she'd smell it. She had become obsessive with cooking, baking pies and cakes for her father, enjoying the way the recipes came to life, but never daring to taste them.

"This one is good" her father would hum as he took a bite out of a muffin "Have you tried this one sweetheart, I think this is my favourite one yet" he'd push the sweet treat towards her but she'd always recoil, shaking her head before turning around and running out of the room. Avoiding temptation had always meant avoiding people, and for that reason alone she had always felt lonely.

But it was the voice in the back of her head that would keep her company, praising her when she had gone a day, a week, a month without a meal, but then turning on her, screaming at her if she had a binge, begging her to purge it all back up, asking her to punish herself for her failures. At times she would ask herself if this was all worth it, the loss of her sanity, the loss of her family, and the worst, a loss of a child.

Dr Hopper is grinning to himself when he re-enters the room, "Please do take a seat" he gestures towards the plush sofa in the corner of the room. As she sits down he watches her, his gaze travelling up and down her body as he picks up his note pad and begins making notes.

"I haven't said anything yet?" Regina frowns as she watches him scribble words onto the page. Regina glances at the clock 7:36am, she should be in the dining hall and Jefferson should be mocking her from across the room whilst Mary-Margaret chuckles at his antics.

"I'm just noting observations Regina, nothing to worry about" he smiles enthusiastically making the woman's stomach churn unpleasantly, "Now, I've spoken to Ashley about your treatment plan and we think that it will be safer for you to begin your recovery slowly. We have a target of gaining 0.5lbs a week, and we'll increase your food intake from there."

"I want to talk to my mother" she snapped crossing her arms across her chest. "I want to know what's happening out there," she nodded in direction to the window "I want to know what's happening to my son."

"Regina, as part of your section you are refrained from having visitors at this current time until we can see that you are committed to your recovery," he leans forward, adjusting his position as he toys with his pen between his fingertips "Now, you mentioned your son, tell me about him".

"Have you seen Henry?" Regina asks as she dashes into her mother's study breathlessly. Henry had insisted on a game of hide and seek, begging her to play with him, his bottom lip poking out as he widened his eyes, forcing tears to the brim, but how could she deny him?

"Your father is in his office Regina" Cora snapped "Now stop running around this house like a child"

"I wasn't referring to daddy, I was wondering if you had seen my Henry" she chuckles as she rests her hands on her hips "He's getting good at this game."

Cora sighs, removing her glasses from her face before rubbing her temples. "Regina how many times have we been over this," she mutters "Henry isn't here"

"Well yes I know he's not here, he's hiding somewhere, I was just wondering if you had se-"

"No!" Her mother's harsh tone startles her as she takes a step back "I cannot deal with this behaviour right now Regina, you know where he is, and he isn't here. You didn't deserve that little boy, and you're ridiculous obsession with your body has caused this family a great loss" she hissed "Now will you grow up and stop pretending he is here, when because of you he never even got to open his eyes"

She grips her stomach, digging her nails into the skin as tears brim her eyes "You're lying" she breaths shaking her head "He was here, we were playing. Today was my day, today it was my turn to look after him, you and Zelena can have him any other day of the week but today is my turn" Cora flinches as she watches her daughter sink to the floor.

"Regina, he's not here" she breathes as she stands up from her desk and makes her way to her broken daughter.

"You're just keeping him from me, you and Zelena, that's what you do, I watched you take him from me" she chokes as her mother pushes the hair out of her face.

"How about I take you to his grave tomorrow, we can see him then" Cora asks as she watches her daughter frown.

Regina shrugs "I don't know where he is." She turns away from the man, tucking her legs beneath her as she looks out of the window "She blames me for him leaving us, but she took him from me."

"Who?"

"My mother," she hisses her hands forming fists by her sides, "Or my sister, I know one of them has him." She hears the man sigh from in front of her, whipping her head around to face him she scowls at him "Let me guess, you don't believe me either?"

"It's not about believing you or not Regina, how about a compromise?" he suggests "You eat your meals this week, you make significant progress, and with a nurse present we can perhaps take you to see your son?"

"You-You would do that? For me?" she untucks her legs from beneath her, leaning forward as she clasps her hands together in front of her.

"It could be arranged, but first Regina I need to start seeing progress, are you willing to do that?" he questions her as she grins widely at him.

"Yes" the words are out of her mouth before she realises what she's agreeing to, but she needs to do this, she needs to know where her little boy is. "But you cannot tell my mother, you cannot let her know" she grimaces as her yes grow wide.

Before either Regina or Doctor Hopper are aware of what is happening, the door to his office is thrown open as a figure charges into the room and straight to Regina. The brunette gasps as she feels herself being pulled to her feet.

"Miss Swan!" he shouted as the blonde charged into the room "You do not enter a room unannounced when I am with a patient"

"Are you alright?" the blonde asked breathlessly taking the brunettes face in between her hands before looking her up and down, searching for any signs of pain or discomfort "Did he hurt you? Has anyone done anything to you?" Regina smiled at the other woman's worry, it had been a very long time since someone had felt this passionately about protecting her and making sure she was okay, before shaking her head.

"As you can see Miss Swan me and Regina are currently in a session, if there is anything you would like to discuss with me or Miss Mills you are to do it at a time that is relevant or do I have to remove you social privileges away from you?" he warned stepping beside Regina.

Emma's eyes slowly left Regina's face as she turned and looked at Dr Hopper "I was just making sure that you animals we're tying her to a chair and force feeling her through a tube" she bite back harshly causing Regina to flinch.

"Em- Sorry, Miss Swan, Regina is safe, anything that is to happen to her from the point forward is to be done in the interest of her well-being and safety.

"Emma they might let me see my son" Regina smiles excitedly as she grips hold of the other woman's hands tightly.

"Son?" Emma frowns pulling away from the woman "But that's not happened yet, that's not part of your timeline here, that shouldn't have happened yet"

"W-what do you mean?" Regina pulls her hands out of Emma's flinching as each word leaves the other woman's lips "Not you too" she breaths as another wave of tears battle their way past her eye lids, but she suppresses them, she will not cry again.

"Miss Swan, as you can see you are putting my patient under distress, now please, return to your room" he nods to someone behind Emma, who makes quick work of removing the blonde from the room.

"I do apologies for that sudden outburst Regina, that will not happen again." He hisses as he exhales harshly "It's quite clear that Miss Swan is very protective of you. Is that something you would like to discuss?"

"No" she answers quickly as she sits back on the edge of her chair

"I hope you and Miss Swan are aware that relationships between residents are forbidden, and if something were to happen there will be consequences" he warned as Regina turned away from him "So Regina, can you please confirm that nothing is happening between you and Miss Swan?"

Regina turned to him, her eyes meeting his as she leant forward "Nothing is happening between me and Miss Swan Doctor Hopper"

"Well then Regina, I guess that wraps this session up, have you been down for breakfast yet this morning?" Regina shakes her head "Right, I assume someone will be here shortly to take you, don't forget to record your progress in those diaries, and we'll discuss them in our next session" he grins as he closes his note book.

"You and Mary-Margaret scared the crap out of me the other day" Jefferson comes up behind her as she watches Blue pack her tray with berries, porridge and a large serving of syrup, she almost gags as another scoop of blueberries are piled into her bowl "Are you even listening to me?" he nudges her as she turns to look at him.

"I'm not meant to be talking to anyone whilst I'm in the dining room, please don't ruin this for me" she hisses "I'll talk to you later" she promises as she steps closer to Blue.

"Is there anything else you'd like?" the petite woman asks Regina as she eyes the breakfast buffet.

"I thought I was only meant to be gaining half a pound, not 100" she scoffs as she waves her hands in direction of her heaped tray

"Don't exaggerate Regina, There is no more here than an average adult would consume on an average morning, now is that all, are we set?" she smiles as Regina nods her head cautiously. "Right come on then, let's get you fed"

Breakfast was a struggle; Regina could feel everyone's eyes on her whilst she lifted her spoon and brought it to her lips. With wary slow bites she swallows, bringing her hand to cover her mouth as she forces herself not to gag.

"That's my girl" Blue nudges her enthusiastically as Regina pulls a tight smile at the older woman. "Just a few more mouthfuls and I think we'll be done here and you're free to roam the halls" she chuckles.

"Well not exactly free, I'm sure on of you will be following me around, and then you'll come for me at lunch time and then for dinner" Regina sighs dramatically as Blue shakes her head at the brunette.

"I did warn you, and you need to stop acting like we're doing this to punish you, this is for-"

"for my own good, yes I know" she rolls her eyes as she brings another spoon to her mouth. "How long have we been here now?" she asks as the metal reaches her lips. As part of her program she is only aloud 20 minutes to finish her meal, or at least an acceptable amount, and if that is not eaten, the food is to be carried over to have with her lunch and so on until all meals have been eaten. Along with a glass of orange juice, and a glass of milk.

"Just under 10 minutes" Regina groans as she swallows thickly already feeling herself grow full, but she knows that two spoonful's will not be enough, not in Hoppers eyes anyway, and she needs to see her son. "The less you think about it, the easier it will be, now I reckon, four more heaped spoons and you'll be done, just don't think about it dear"

"That's easy for you to say" she mutters as she takes another spoonful. She can hear the voice in the back of her head tormenting her with threats as she swallows the thick substance. That ling bitch it doesn't get easier bile rises up her esophagus burning the back of her throat as she takes deep breaths. "Do you think I could perhaps have a glass of water?"

"Why don't you have a sip of your orange juice?" liquid calories the thought makes her retch as she closes her eyes. With shaky fingers she reaches for her glass, silently repeating Henry's name over and over again as she takes a sip, it washes away the burn but still leaves her feeling guilty. "Better?" Regina tries to nod but her body remains numb.

She takes her final bite as a beeping starts going off beside her "Right that's 20 minutes up, and you did really well today Regina I'm proud of you, now you get writing in those diaries whilst I clean these up" she motioned towards the cutlery and bowls in front of them.

Regina heads back to her room, a small smiles tugging at the corner of her lips as she thinks about the small progress she's made, perhaps this is good for her. She hums an old nursery rhyme to herself as she quickens her pace not wanting to bump into Jefferson and hear him try and convince her that she's been poisoned by them or something. She chuckled as she remembered his previous warnings when she had first arrived Don't eat it Regina, its poisonous, they get paid to fix people like us but its bullshit, they'd rather keep us in here, away from society, away from where we are seen as abnormalities.

A shriek left the brunettes lips as she was pulled into a small closet beside her. Punching the figure in front of her she begins to scream for help before a hand is placed across her mouth, she bites the flesh of the person pressing themselves closer to her

"Fuck Regina what the hell" the blonde hisses as she pulls her hand away from Regina.

"Emma?" she asks breathlessly as her eyes try to make out the features of the woman trapping her against the wall. "What do you mean what the hell? You just grabbed me and threw me into a- a- janitor's closet?" she winced instantly knowing what exactly happens in the particular closet "Of course I'm going to try and defend myself, you could have been any of the crazy fuckers in here"

"Well I'm not and you're safe so stop panicking" she reassured the brunette as she felt her breathing regulate itself "Now that I've got you alone I thought we could talk?"

"It's awfully tight in here" Regina hisses as Emma pushes her further into the corner of the closet "Emma what are you doing?"

"Shh" her voice is low and raspy as she covers Regina's mouth with her hand "I have a plan. But first I just need to-" Emma's hand is replaced by her mouth as she pushes the older woman further into the darkness. She hums in surprise feeling herself melt into the kiss as Emma's hands fall to her waist, but the moment is taken away from her as Emma pulls back a few paces, searching the brunettes eyes. "God even in this fucked up situation you're still beautiful" she groans as she presses her forehead against Regina's.

"Emma I need to kn-"

"No please, I can't explain right now, not in here" she sighs shaking her head. "There is just too much at risk and I can't put you in harm's way right now. If they find out who you are they'll-" her voice broke as she looked to the floor, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

"Who am I Emma?" Regina frowns, cupping the girls face in between her hands.

She tilts her head to the side, "Regina, I can't tell you here, but I need you to trust me, can you do that?" she whispers as she leans further into the woman. Her lips land back on Regina's with ease, the gently press of her mouth against her felt so right, she kisses her back with every ounce of need that had been building up inside her for the last couple of days, she replays Hoppers words in her head, the nagging at the back of her mind telling her this is wrong, but how can something that feels so right be so wrong?

Regina's tongue peaks out from between her lips, surprising the blonde as she opens her mouth granting the other woman access as she surrenders further into the kiss, her satisfied moan muffled against Regina's lips. She explores the blonde who is pressing against her, and Emma returns the gesture just as eagerly, breathing in each other's moans as she grazes her teeth across Regina's bottom lip. Their bodies mold together, Emma's fingers digging further into her waist as she winces.

"Emma" she rasps as the blonde pulls back and looks at her, her eyes are dark, full of lust as she stares at her. She knows this isn't the time or place for this but she can't herself, she wants this, she wants her.

"Did I hurt you?" Emma panics as she searches Regina's eyes, she nods slightly mentally cursing herself for her previous act of stupidity. Emma hands shift beneath Regina's shirt, stroking the cuts that litter her skin. "Regina, I can't do this" she whispers dropping her head to the other woman's shoulder "Not in here"

"You don't want me?" Regina sobs as she push's Emma off her.

"Regina, don't be ridiculous, it's not like that" Emma frowns reaching for Regina's wrist "This isn't about your condition-"

"My condition?" Regina hisses pulling herself out of Emma grasp "I'm not some charity case you can use to make you feel like a hero, I'm not a charity case, I don't need your pity, I have enough of this around here"

"Would you stop fighting me for one second and listen to me" Emma snapped pinning the brunette to the wall behind her, her hands gripping her upper arms "This has nothing to do with your eating disorder, or depression, this is to do with your lack of knowledge of who you really are, of who I really am"

"Then please do enlighten me Miss Swan because right now you're giving me a headache"

Regina squints and turns her head to the side as light floods the small closet "Emma? Regina? What are you doing in here?"

A/N If some of you are confused as to why Regina may struggle to believe whether her son is alive or not, a side effect of some medication taken by depressed individuals is memory loss, especially during the time they were on the drug.