Author's note: So, Tony finally called Loki by his name! :D
And now for something completely different… ;)
An ear-splitting crack of thunder and a flash of lightning cleaving the blue sky in two is all the warning Tony gets.
Only minutes after the aberrant weather phenomenon, the God of Thunder himself is standing in Tony's living room, callous hands grasping his upper arms in such a tight grip that he winces. That is going to leave bruises tomorrow.
"Man of Iron!" the god exclaims, happiness glowing on his face like he's a little kid on Christmas that has just been gifted with a flamethrower. "I am most joyous to return to your abode once more!"
So the news from Asgard must be good, then. Thor, as always, emotes like a fourteen-year old girl, and there's no mistaking that excited expression on his face. Tony feels himself relax a little bit, even if he doesn't know yet exactly how good the news will actually be, if it's great-good or just semi-good. Some of Asgard's definition of… things seem to differ quite a lot from his own, after all.
"Yeah, it's wonderful to have you, Point Break, really. Though, I would be even more of a gracious host if you'd stop squeezing my arms like they're wet towels," Tony says to the beaming god, who lets go and gives him a friendly slap on the back, the force of which, coming from any other person, would have counted as battery.
And then, Thor turns to Loki, who is standing with his arms crossed in front of him, a sullen look on his face.
Thor is not deterred, though. He braves the distance between his brother and himself with three mighty steps and wraps his arms around the more slender figure, who doesn't make any attempts to free himself, but also doesn't return the fraternal embrace.
"I come bearing hopeful tidings," Thor beams at them once he's let go of Loki, who looks like a moping kid more than anything else. Perhaps the brother of the boy with the flamethrower, who only got socks in his parcel.
Still, it looks like Loki's ears peak up a little at that, but if there's any other reaction to Thor's words, he reigns them in, watching the Thunderer as if the god is about to tell them what he had for dinner last night rather than sharing news affecting Loki's entire future.
Tony's ears peak up too. Perhaps it really is great-good news, then, even if he's kinda doubtful. "Alright, so what's the deal, then? Don't leave his us hanging here, big guy," he urges the thunder god. He wants to hear this now and he's quite sure Loki does too, even if the god looks like he's trying to pretend that he doesn't.
"Well, my friends," Thor speaks up, voice booming as he draws himself up to full height to make his important announcement, and Tony notices that Loki is leaning forward at that, if only a little. "I have put forward the plea for leniency on Loki's behalf before the throne of Odin, and today the Allfather informed me that he has granted your request of an audience, Man of Iron, to speak further of this matter."
Tony's eyebrows shot upwards. That was not what he had been expecting. Totally, definitely not.
"Uhm, Thunderboy, I don't remember asking for an audience in the first place," he says, not at all sure he's liking where this is going.
Thor opens his mouth to answer, but Loki interrupts him. "So that's the best you've managed to come up with after all these weeks, Thor? An audience? And you really believe this is going to change anything?"
Thor gives Loki a calm look, blue steel meeting green ember. "At least the Allfather didn't turn my plea down right away, as I had feared he might," he says, lifting a hand towards Loki, palm out, in a placating gesture. "If he had been completely unwilling to reconsider your sentence, I am sure he would not have offered this audience in the first place."
"And what did you answer him?" Loki asks, not sounding convinced at all.
Thor looks surprised, as if there was ever any doubt as to the nature of his answer. "Why, I told him that Man of Iron would be honoured to travel to Asgard and meet with the Allfather, of course." He pauses, as if giving Loki a chance to object, but he chooses not to, so Thor continues. "Though there are no guarantees about the outcome, this is surely better than nothing, At least it is a sign of hope that Father is ready to listen to someone who wishes to speak in favour of clemency on your behalf."
"Or an empty hope dangled in front of my face," Loki retorts. "This will be nothing but a pointless waste of time, Thor. If Odin was truly considering showing any lenience, he would have-"
"Hello!" Tony's voice cuts through the bickering, and as the two squabbling gods turn to him, he waves his hands in their general direction. "Yeah, remember me, Tony Stark? I'm still here, and I suppose no one is going to ask me if I actually want to take an intergalactic trip through some space wormhole into another dimension? And get all barbequed by cosmic rays before getting ripped into pieces by time-space compression and all those other pesky side effects?" Okay, he might be a tech-geek and science freak and all, but he does value his life more than throwing himself into some magic space-hole that could easily dissolve his organic body into a swarm of freely bouncing molecules and atoms.
Thor smiles kindly, as if Tony's a little puppy afraid of a butterfly that's just landed on his nose.
"Have no fear, Man of Iron, you are far from the first mortal to visit Asgard. Even though human bodies are fragile in comparison to those of the Aesir, the journey itself is harmless and without adverse effects even for mortals." The declaration is followed by a knowing nod, as if Thor has just provided the most basic information in all the Nine or Eight or whatever number of realms there are.
Well, that's barely half-way reassuring. "And how many of these mortals arrived safely back on Earth again after their little Space Odyssey 2010?" Never hurts to check, does it?
"Why, all those who were sent back home arrived safely in Midgard," the Thunderer assures him.
Tony takes a step back at that, squinting an eye at Thor. "Hold on there, buddy. Just what is the whole 'all those who were sent back home' supposed to mean? You mean there were people who didn't get sent back?"
"Only a few. Some mortals created certain… incidents during their stay," Thor says, foot scraping a little against the marble tires, looking like he's regretting his previous choice of words. "They were unfortunately unable to be returned to their native realm."
"That's lovely. And it's really making me warm up to the idea of this intergalactic space trip, you know."
Thor looks distinctly unhappy. "Some mortals got into fights they should have stayed out of or provoked warriors who were not the kind to let challenges or slights pass by unanswered. But these mortals were foolish, and you are a wise man, friend, and know better than to invite such trouble."
Uh-huh. Staying out of trouble has always been Tony Stark's forte. Not.
"Uh, so how about I just write my official statement down on some fancy roll of parchment instead and have it sent back with you? That should amount to the same thing, shouldn't it? Or hey, even better – how about daddy dearest coming over here to see me instead of me waltzing over there to your far side of the universe?"
He would have laughed at the bewildered expression on Thor's face if the circumstances had been different. Like Tony had just told him he was about to get married to his vacuum cleaner or begin a new carrier as a pole dancer.
"No, that's not possible," Thor finally says, voice insistent and firm, as if Tony is just being pig-headed and obstinate. "No one refuses an audience with the Allfather."
And if it's one thing that Tony doesn't like to hear, it's those words not possible.
"And what's Allfather almighty going to do if I simply tell him 'no way José'? Smite me with a flash of lightning? Make the ground split open into an abyss of fire and brimstone under my feet during my Sunday morning stroll? Huh?" Damn, he just hates it when people he hasn't even met are trying to tell him what he should do. He gets enough of that as the CEO of Stark Industries as it already is.
He throws Loki a glance in the passing, and winces at the sight. The god's face has fallen at Tony's words, and there are bitter lines of terrible disappointment etched into his features, like he can't believe what he's hearing. His posture is slumping, as if the weight of his body has suddenly tripled. Most of all he looks like a drowning man clinging desperately to a life preserver, only to have the hand of god descend from the heavens above to rip the last chance of deliverance out of his desperate hands.
Tony sighs inwardly. Okay, so he wasn't actually being serious about refusing, he just had to make a token protest, because he's Tony Stark and because the idea of going on a magic field trip really does freak him out like there's no tomorrow.
Loki's mouth is opening as if he's about to say something, but before the god can speak, Tony quickly cuts him off. And he knows he's going to regret this one way or the other, but whatever.
"Can I at least bring my Iron Man suit along?"
Thor is beaming again, and all is well for a few seconds before the Thunderer answers. "Unfortunately, that would be inadvisable. Visitors from other realms are not allowed to enter Asgard armed without having been granted special permission. You will not pass Heimdall the gatekeeper with your suit, I'm afraid."
Tony is about to protest the idiocy of this no-bringing-weapons rule, before he remembers airport security on Earth. Okay, fair enough, then.
So he settles for a sigh instead, rubbing his palms over his face. "Alright, but I need to fix a Visa, and get some vaccinations first. Let's see now – smallpox, rabies, the Black Death, cosmic measles," he ticks each one off on his fingers. "Yeah, I think that should cover it. So when are we leaving for Narnia, then?"
"Why, we will leave on the morrow!" Thor declares pompously, as if he is making a speech before an assembly of loyal supporters.
Tony only groans.
He really is going to Asgard.
Yes, they really are going to Asgard. :D
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