I have no rights to Naruto.
Dark thoughts ahead.
Enjoy.
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Only one person, well two if you counted Anko but she would usually enter with an inappropriate greeting, would join Sakura in her ANBU lab without knocking or without the ANBU stationed at the door warning her. Ibiki's footsteps were solid on the floor tiles, no sound needed as without looking up from her microscope Sakura informed him.
"I've isolated a number of the components but I have to admit their clever. They use binding factors and proteins from a previous dose and then a unique base not to mention histamines."
Carefully removing a slide from the microscope stage Sakura sat straight and labelled it, putting it to one side before facing Ibiki. Lips pursed and eyebrows slanted. "Frankly we're lucky Shishou hasn't been killed or had a reaction to the histamines and proteins, its slowing the regulation of her Chakra so her body can't fight it off.:
Leaning against the bench Ibiki picked up Sakura's notes scanning them for anything he might need, though he trusted the woman before him habits were hard to break. "Why didn't they do that to you?"
"I'm nowhere near Shishou's ability in self-Chakra healing."
Ibiki didn't believe that, a raised eyebrow his response commenting. "Would it have harmed the foetus?"
It was unspoken but after spending so much time with her Ibiki followed Sakura's que. The child she carried was never referred to as a child, - It, foetus, embryo, those were the words used and at Sakura's sharp nod Ibiki changed the subject.
Until replacing Sakura's notes in the desk he saw another bundle. "What's this?"
"Personal notes."
Her shrug was nonchalant but as he picked up the sheets Ibiki noted the stiff shoulders and the expectant look on her face. She was prepared to defend herself and gearing up for a fight.
"Well?"
Ibiki inwardly smiled as his question caught her off guard before she relaxed and flashed him a grateful look, before he scanned the list of drugs and their known side effects.
"All the Kunoichi have had regular blood tests, checking blood glucose levels, hormones, white blood cells, iron etc., the normal pregnancy tests. But the frequency is higher – every two to three weeks, or a sudden opening in the doctor's schedule and so is the volume of blood taken. Some drugs can cause malformation, illness and miscarriage over varying degrees of time. They are checking our blood work to catch us out. Not to mention advising diet plans – no cheese or eggs. Which could cause food poisoning or in extreme cases miscarriage."
Ibiki raised his head and met Sakura's gaze without flinching, she had been eating eggs and cheese and every day. "You're looking for drugs that wouldn't show up?"
"Or one that that would cause a miscarriage but isn't known to."
Ibiki read the drug list and catalogued all the ones he knew, unfortunately poisons were more his forte and each time he thought of a drug he found it further down on Sakura's list. As Sakura started to make a note in one of the various files, Ibiki watched her comparing her to the bright, caring young woman she had been months ago, reputation was how he had known her and over the last few months it had become personal. But it wasn't enough.
"Could you do it?"
"Yes.
No"
She sighed and started to run the pen in her had through her fingers playing with it.
" I want it gone so badly." She gave a harsh laugh." I nearly always want it gone, especially when it kicks. It just reminds me, but I'm a medic I work so hard to save lives part of me argues that I can't get rid of it now, it's not just a ball of cells anymore.
I resent it so much." Pain lacing her voice as equally as hate.
"What happened, how it happened."
Sakura looked up at Ibiki, eyes softening when she saw no judgement. It would be the last thing he would give.
"Or maybe it's just the guilt I'm afraid of. Which is worse feeling it or not?" she gave him no time to answer continuing."I had no choice. I don't want it and the bloody Doctor of Danzou's chirps that when I'm holding it in my arms I'll love it. Yes it happens, but how can I love it, knowing how, knowing why!
Kami I'm such a bitch.
If I . . .Kami . .I wish the choice was taken out of my hands, like how it happened. I dream of just waking and finding myself covered in blood. And I don't feel guilty or sad Ibiki. I just feel relieved.
Her voice was so small that Ibiki nearly staggered at the feeling going through him for her. Emerald eyes were filled with guilt for admitting her feelings, her deepest desires and thoughts. She trusted him.
Dropping the files he stepped to her and pulled her up and into his arms, holding her loosely but without a problem tightening his hold when she clung to him. Without thought he kissed the top of her hair, hands caressing and rubbing her arms in reassurance. They stood in silence, simply holding on to the other, taking comfort.
Loud footsteps pounded down the hall outside the lab bringing reality back and their surroundings. Moving to replace her notes back to the right bundle he invited her to lunch, the smile on her face at his words, at his acceptance bringing one to his.
"Put everything away and we'll eat, the canteen has omelettes."
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Dia Duit,
I just used fancy words to deal with Tsunade's coma, not tree at all – just pretend lol.
When it comes to abortion my own opinion is that until you are in the situation regardless of how it happened you can't know what it's like to have to decide and it is the woman's decision. Sakura has had an awful time and I'm trying to get her thoughts out, what she's feeling.
If you don't like, stop reading the fic and don't review.
Lots of love,
The Rose and the Dagger x x x