A/N: Spoilers warning! For people who haven't read the 7th book of Harry Potter, there are many spoilers in this chapter. If you don't want to be spoiled, then probably you won't want to read it.

Fallen & Risen 4. Fallen to Rise

Previously…

A new year of Hogwarts was starting once more. Students, both old and new, boarded the Hogwarts Express which would bring them to school. Draco Malfoy and his friend, Blaise Zabini, searched for a compartment, but when they had finally found a decent one, it had already been occupied by a girl with short, jet black hair and green eyes. They left the occupied compartment and went in search for a new one. After settling down, Blaise noticed Draco was acting strange.

"Draco, what's wrong?" Blaise asked.

"Hum? What?" Draco replied, bringing his eyes to Blaise.

"What's wrong? You haven't talk or say anything for the last ten minutes," Blaise said.

"It's just… It's just that girl…" Draco mumbled, his eyebrows drawn together.

"That girl…?" Blaise questioned incredulously. "You mean the one we saw in the compartment? What about her?"

Draco brought his eyes back to the window, gazing the running landscape outside again.

"That girl… She…" He didn't finish his answer.

'That girl… She looks a lot like…' Draco stopped and blinked. He just realized something. 'I'm thinking about him again.'

Draco Malfoy would have never admitted it, but he, too, was affected by the decease of his scar-headed rival.

'I've changed…'

He resented the fact, but the The-Boy-with-Eternally-Undisciplined-Hair saved him. That stupid Boy-Who-Stubbornly-Wouldn't-Die saved Draco Malfoy. He realized it only after the death of Voldemort. Draco remembered his life in the months before the war had ended.

After he failed killing Dumbledore by himself, Draco constantly lived in fear of having to face the Dark Lord again. He still remembered his father pleading Voldemort to spare Draco's life very clearly. It had nearly caused the senior Malfoy to be killed. That day, Draco discovered a new face of his father. He never would have thought that his father could ever plead someone for anything but he had been proven wrong. His father had begged on his knees in order to save his son and it had made Draco respect his father even more. Everyone knew that Voldemort had no mercy for anyone, even for his most loyal servants. For Voldemort, pleading was a sign of weakness which must be sentenced by death. Yet, Lucius Malfoy still risked his own life for the sake of his son.

However, knowing that his father truly cared for him, Draco had more reason to live in fear. That feeling of fear made him realized two things. First, what he cherished the most in the world were his parents. Second, his parents could be punished at any moment because he failed to complete mission. With every passing day, Draco's fear grew to a disportionate size and became that much more atrocious to carry. He still had nightmares where he saw his mother being repeatedly tortured with Crucio by Voldemort before her body was torn into many pieces and her limbs scattered around, covering Draco with her blood. Like a repetitive movie sequence, he also often saw his father being hit by a green light because Lucius shielded Draco from the Dark Lord's killing curse. It was only then that Draco had truly wished for something. Not wanted or demanded. Wished. He had wished for the death of Voldemort and had done something no self-respecting Malfoy would ever do in his life - he prayed. He had prayed that Harry Potter would kill Voldemort.

During the day of the last battle, Severus Snape, his godfather, tricked him into drinking a potion, leaving him momentarily mute, and had him locked in a room before leaving to meet Voldemort (and going to meet his death, which Snape was fully aware of). Snape didn't want Draco to be caught in the middle of the battle and be killed. He had also made sure Draco couldn't call for help either or escaping from his prison by any means by confiscating Draco's wand. The potion Draco drank not only made him mute but it also numbed his body. The young blond Slytherin couldn't make a single move without feeling a piercing pain in his body. It was his frustration which had given him enough strength to drag himself to Snape's room window. The only things Snape had allowed Draco to do was watching the battle… and praying. From the window, Draco saw everything from the moment Harry Potter stepped out of the Forbidden Forest to face Voldemort.

When he saw Harry get hit by Voldemort's Adava Kedavra, he felt despair for the first time his life - despair that he would see his nightmare about his parents being killed come alive, despair because there was no longer any hope left, despair for his future. Draco remembered how horrible that feeling of despair was. Instead of leaving something dark and evil, which he was familiar with, despair left emptiness. Draco preferred the raging fire of black magic to the coldness brought about by that emptiness. That was a feeling Draco had never experienced before. He believed that emptiness killed more than black magic and some evil curse put together. Draco remembered thinking he'd rather be hit by a hundred Cruciatus spells than feel despair. While Crucio caused your body to feel a piercing pain, despair consumed and ate the soul like a vicious and famished dark creature, little by little. Draco knew about the torturous spell of Cruciatus, having taste it from Voldemort's wand. Once the spell stopped, the throbbing pain in the body would eventually diminish. But for despair, somehow, Draco understood that the missing pieces of the soul wouldn't ever regenerate itself. Before that day, Draco never realized that he too possessed a soul which could have feelings. That day at Snape's window, when he felt weak and helpless, Draco Malfoy had realized that he too was also a human being.

From the window, Draco also saw something else which made him change his opinion about Harry Potter. When Harry's body disappeared, the Death Eaters went into panic. Soon, Bellatrix Lestrange, Draco's aunt, realized something: Narcissa Malfoy lied to Voldemort about Harry Potter's death. She became enraged. Draco knew his aunt very well. Bellatrix Lestrange was the most fanatically loyal servant to Voldemort. To her, anyone who dared to betray her Lord deserved the most horrible and terrible death possible, even if said traitor happen to be her own blood sister. Bellatrix aimed her wand at Narcissa, torturing Draco's mother with Crucio and making her body repeatedly hit the ground. Draco yelled in horror but nothing came out of his throat. His mother's scream of pain still resound in his head to this day, like a never dying echo. Draco didn't stop (silently) yelling even if his throat hurt him to the point that he thought his vocal cords had broken. He remembered praying to any god and mystical beings he knew to save his mother. He offered them all the tears in his body in exchange for his humble wish for his mother to be saved. And his prayer was answered.

Out of nowhere from behind a tree, Draco saw a jet of red light shoot and hit Narcissa. The red light formed a barrier around Narcissa's body, blocking the effect of the Crucio. Narcissa eventually stopped screaming. Next, the red magical stream light slowly brought his mother's body down and carefully laid her on the ground. Bellatrix couldn't who had interferred with her spells and became more enraged. Furious, she casted curses everywhere around her. One of her spells hit the hood of Harry Potter's Invisiblity Cloak and revealed the boy to Bellatrix. Harry Potter still had his wand pointed in the direction of Narcissa. Bellatrix forgot about Narcissa and decided to attack Harry instead, but the boy disappeared again under his Invisible Cloak. From his window, Draco understood something.

'Potter saved my mother.'

In that instant, the Gryffindor boy Draco had always thought to be unworthy of attention had gained Draco's respect. Draco would never have believed that he would one day think so, but he was relieved that Harry Potter didn't fall under Voldemort's killing curse when he was still a baby. He knew that he owed Harry Potter a debt.

Draco hated it whenever the scar head boy acted like a true Gryffindor, such as in rescuing his enemies, especially when the said enemies were Malfoy people. It irked Draco and he despised his spectacled, Gryffindork nemesis more than ever. However, that Harry Potter had saved his mother… Draco couldn't bring himself to feel resentful at his lion rival over it. He was even grateful that Potter boy rescued his mother when he himself couldn't do anything for her. More than that, Harry Potter not only saved his mother, but also the whole Malfoy family.

During the trials after the War at the Wizengamot in which the Malfoy family was meant to be sentenced with life imprisonment at Azkaban for supporting the Dark Lord, Harry Potter had intercepted for them. He said that the Malfoy saved him twice to help him defeat Voldemort: Draco Malfoy didn't report him to the Death Eaters when his friends and him were caught at the Malfoy Mansion; and Narcissa Malfoy lied to Voldemort and saved his life. Draco and his mother were spared by the court, but Lucius Malfoy had to spend some time at Azkaban. Despite the judgment brought up to Lucius Malfoy, Harry Potter had still saved his family from shame and humiliation. He had also restored the prestige of the Malfoy name in the wizard world. That was a second debt Draco Malfoy owed to Harry Potter.

One debt, Draco was willing to pay, even if it cost him greatly. But two debts, it was just too much for Draco to bear. Then his mother asked him something which made everything that much harder for Draco. While she was recovering at St. Mungo, his mother asked him to reconsider his rivalry with Harry Potter. She wanted him to use his summer to try changing his opinion about The-Boy-Who-Lived and start his 7th year at Hogwarts on good terms with the Gryffindor and his friends. More than everything, Narcissa Malfoy wanted Draco to deliver a message to Harry Potter.

"Tell him our apologizes," Narcissa weakly said.

"WHAT? Mother, you can't be meaning…" he protested.

"Draco, I want you to apologize to him," Narcissa explained. "He saved our family pride and prestige and spared your father from life imprisonment at Azkaban. We owe him a lot. Draco, you are an intelligent young man. Draco, you know the weight of our debt to him."

". . ." Draco bit his lips, not replying.

Yes, Draco knew perfectly well the heavyweight debt the Malfoy family owed to Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Vanquished-the-Dark-Lord. But still, it implied more than the Malfoy family debt. It was Draco Malfoy's pride at stake. The two words 'I apologize' were to heavy a blow to his pride.

"Draco, I have been aware of your rivalry with Harry Potter from the moment you two start Hogwarts. I have also aware of all the troubles you two brought to yourselves because you despised each other. I even think that you brought him more problems than he did to you just because you are resentful that he refused your friendship when you offered it," Narcissa said. "But you, by your own self, you perfectly know that you were arrogant back then and that he was right to reject your hand after what you say about his friend, Ronald Weasley."

Draco cast his eyes down. Again, he didn't deny his mother's points. At eighteen, Draco was more mature than he had been when he was eleven. It was hard on his pride, but he did admit that the young eleven years old Harry Potter did the right thing by refusing his hand when he was a real prick.

"Draco, I know I'm asking a lot from when I tell you to apologize to Harry Potter, but please, just this once, do it for me," Narcissa pleaded. "When your father wanted to become a Death Eater to support Voldemort, I couldn't stop him." Draco jumped when he hear her saying the name of the Dark Lord without faltering or feeling fear. She was stronger than Draco had believed her to be. "And look what has become of us today," Narcissa continued. "You know what, Draco?" She looked at him in his eyes.

"What?"

"This is exactly how it started between James Potter and your father when they were young," Narcissa said. "You and Harry Potter are now exactly like Lucius and James Potter before." Draco eyes widened, shock. "You two sons are repeating your fathers' past. When they were young, Lucius and James used to be fierce rivals and they hated each other. But despite their rivalry, they had the same idea about a life of grandeur. However, your father believed that only a select number of people deserved grandeur while James Potter wished it for everyone."

"Hmph!" Draco smirked. "What a degrading way of thinking. No wonder Potter is such a plebeian and low boy."

"That was exactly what Lucius used to say back then. And look at today's result. Who do you think is in the most degrading situation? James Potter, whose name is raised among the heroes because he fathered the Savior Boy or your father?" Narcissa seriously said.

Draco didn't reply.

"James Potter was also a pure blood with the pride of a pure blood family. And like every pure blood, he wanted to protect his family line. However, real pure blood families are rare and we keep interbreeding amongst ourselves. Now, all the purebloods are related to one another and we have passed on genetic diseases to our decendents. Eventually, transmitting these diseases among us will kill us all. James Potter, like Dumbledore, saw that reality and wanted to prevent it. He and Dumbledore promoted and encouraged good relationship with the Muggle-born wizards to protect the Magical world from extinction."

Narcissa looked out her window.

"That was when Voldemort rose. I believe Voldemort wanted to have James Potter and your father join him because they were very fine men. They had a lot of potential and they could accomplish many grand things if they join hands and worked together. However, James Potter chose Dumbledore's path, which left Voldemort with only your father. Voldemort was a very good mind manipulator and he knew which words to choose in order to have your father follow him blindly. It's sad to say it, but your father was a naive man. Voldemort used that fact to hypnotize him and trap your father's mind."

Narcissa stopped talking momentary. Draco respected her silence.

"I was too. Like your father, I used to believe that pure blood privileges should not be shared with Muggle-born wizards. But today, I understand I was wrong," Narcissa said. "I must say, James Potter was wise and I believe his son, Harry Potter, has shown himself to be wise like him." Narcissa turned back to look at Draco. "Draco, I do not wish for you to repeat your father's and my mistake. We could have saved ourselves so much sorrow and suffering…" Narcissa bit her lips and closed her eyes for a second. Then, she looked at Draco directly in the eyes. "That's the reason why I want you to be on good terms with Harry Potter. Hopefully, you will come to re-think the differences between purebloods and Muggle-born wizards and learn to make peace with the latter. I believe Harry Potter is the right person who can show you the right way."

His mother had him accepting her demand and swearing to accomplish it. Draco wasn't particularly joyful about it, but since he swore, he would do anything to respect his words, as a real aristocrat should do. But before he would be able to be talk civilly with Harry Potter, he would have to change his opinion about the boy. Everyday, he worked on building an opinion untainted with his abhorring repugnance for the wizarding world's savior. Draco was used to be asked to do many difficult tasks, but this one was the hardest he ever done. He believed that saying "I apologize" to Harry Potter was an impossible task for him. But since nothing was supposed to be impossible for a Malfoy, Draco kept on working toward his goal.

After many days and nights of work, Draco was sure that he had finally managed to (subtly) change his opinion about Harry Potter - a better one compared to the previous ones he had -, and he was proud of himself. He finally succeed to find ONE good point about the boy. Despite how stupid Harry Pothead might be, he still had more brain cells than some Slytherins (thought Draco with no small amount of irritation), particularly compared to Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, Draco's bodyguards. It was more exciting to talk/jest (more like spitting dagger words) with Harry Potter than with Crabbe and Goyle.

'But what a pitiful good point,' Draco told himself. 'It won't help me into talking civilly with the Pothead boy. I better find a stronger point.'

Thus, Draco resumed back to work again. Week after week passed by and he surprised even himself by working for so long without faltering in his resolution.

'It's amazing how mother can influence me. I have always believed her to only be a perfect lady, and that was all. I didn't know she was such a strong woman.'

Draco now understood that when one is do something for someone he/she cherished, nothing is impossible, no matter how much effort was asked of them. Draco was proud of himself for understanding this concept. It helped him to positively change his opinion about Harry Potter.

Until one morning…

Until one morning…

Until the morning Draco saw the front page of The Daily Prophet that screamed 'Harry Potter died'. He, Draco Malfoy, heir of the Malfoy legacy, had, in a very undignified and un-Malfoy-ish manner, choked in his porridge, earning a positively shock/scandalized glare from his beloved mother.

'That Boy-Who-Stubbornly-Won't-Die is no longer The-Boy-Who-Lived?'

Draco's lips twitched into a cynical smile at the memory. He no longer remembered if he wanted to laugh or if he wanted to cry when he had read the newspaper. After spending so much time and effort to change his mind about the Golden Boy, he had lost the opportunity to say the two insufferable words of apology that he had worked so hard on to the (in)famous Harry Potter as well as the chance to see the Boy Wonder shocked and speechless. Draco Malfoy had lost the chance to throw a bomb at Harry Potter.

'Again!'

Did that scar-head hated him so much that he didn't even want to wait for Draco Malfoy to tell him the two dooming words, "I apologize"? All those honorable months of work on putting aside their mutual hatred and restarting on good terms with Harry Potter were wasted.

'Life is such a contemptuous, sarcastic, cynical and unamusing buffoon!' Draco thought to himself irately.

And the most ironical of all (Draco maniacally laughed at himself), it was only after the death of Harry Potter that he finally saw the real good points about his rival.

As Draco reflected again, he recalled the times he knew the green eyes Gryffindor when Harry Potter was still alive. During their first encounter at Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, Harry Potter seemed to be amazed when he first saw Draco because Draco was the first young wizard Harry had ever seen in his life. And Draco had stupidly shattered the black hair boy's wonder! Then there was that time when Potter saved Longbottom's Rememberball. He had made a spectacular dive (Draco loathed the fact, but he admitted it was truly awesome) when it was only his first time mounting a broom. Not to mention he did it with a poor and miserable broom he borrowed from the school. Another point which irked Draco: Harry Potter was undeniably an amazing Seeker. Draco always thought that the Gryffindork caught the Golden Snitch by pure (and repetitive) luck. But during the Triwizard Tournament, when the boy faced that dangerous Hungarian Horntail dragon, it was an evident that Harry was really gifted with a talent for flying. Draco knew about Potter fighting against a Basilisk and killed it when he, Draco Malfoy, shivered when he pictured the Dark Lord's snake in his head. And the most admirable thing about Harry Potter was when he calmly walked out the Forbidden Forest, straight to Voldemort, even thought he knew that he would meet death face to face.

Even though each point he remembered about Harry Potter made him irritated, Draco realized that he wished he had someone like Harry Potter as a friend. The green eyes boy was true to himself, was intelligent and showed to be a caring friend to anyone he befriended with, like the way he cared about Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger and all his other friends. He was a far better "friend" than Crabbe and Goyle. Draco needed someone to point him out what he did right or wrong and he knew Harry Potter certainly wouldn't hesitate to do it.

'Harry Potter had fallen in death to rise in my respect,' Draco thought wryly.

It was so ironic. It was only after the boy had died that Draco had really wanted to know more about and befriend the short, black haired and green eyed boy.

Which brought him back to the girl he saw in the other compartment. She too had short black hair and striking green eyes.

When he was searching for an empty compartment with Blaise, he had thought he had seen the ghost of Harry Potter through the window of a compartment. He rushed to the said compartment and opened the door, only to see a girl instead of a boy.

Draco pictured the girl in his head again: short black hair framing her thin and petite figure, eye color of the forest after the rain.

For the split of a second, Draco thought he saw hatred directed to him in her eyes (like the way Harry Potter would certainly look at him), but it was probably an illusion. There was no way that a girl would be connected to Harry Potter unless she was Hermione Granger or Ginny Weasley. But still, that girl…

'That girl… That girl, she looks a lot like Harry Potter…' Draco thought. 'For an instant, I really thought she was him…'

Draco smirked. He had always thought that Harry Potter was a little too feminine for a boy because the boy had such a frail structure, almost as though he had been malnourished all his life. But Draco never thought that someday he would meet a real feminine person who looked so much like Harry Potter.

'She could have been him if she wasn't a girl.'