My Roommate is not Second:

Ludwig considered getting up from his swivel chair and had actually done so several times. Each time had ended with him sitting back down, chewing on the top of his ink pen, as he was doing now. Nothing of any real importance was on his computer screen. He'd try busying himself with pharmaceutical articles that he'd read many times over, but they didn't distract him. He moved on to his own pharmaceutical business, but damn him and his need to be organized. Every book, payroll sheet, and inventory list had been completed for the week. He considered cooking, but that would involve him actually leaving his room, which the German seemed to have barricaded himself into.

Nothing, though, no matter how hard Ludwig tried, could distract him from the noise upstairs. She was home. An'na was upstairs, probably packing things. The very though made him bite down harder on the flimsy blue top. It cracked under the force of his teeth, splitting down the side.

"Ah, Christ…" He grumbled to himself, tossing the useless pen along with its top onto his desk. Ludwig raked a hand through his blond hair, leaning back into the self-made solitary chamber that was his black swivel chair. He exhaled loudly, trying his best to rid himself of whatever curse made him afraid to set foot in their communal spaces. It was too risky they could see each other. Seeing An'na, even the thought of it made his chest tighten with a type of anxiety.

"Why is this so hard…?" Ludwig grumbled into his hand that covered his face. The answer to that question was simple. It was the answer to the question that followed the previous that made him cringe on the inside. Facing An'na meant facing what Mathais said. If what the Dane told him was indeed true, then his roommate was actually fond of him and not his friend. Which meant, he had nothing to hide behind, no excuses to justify not exploring whatever feelings he had for the woman upstairs, except his own fear and doubt. That was what kept him lingering at the pharmacy long after it closed and his butt glued to that damn swivel chair.

He was so far deep into his melancholy that Ludwig didn't hear the rushed steps coming down the stairs until his bedroom door swung open. "Please tell me you have a first aid kit in here," An'na said, holding one hand in the palm of the other and making a beeline for this bathroom.

Ludwig jumped up from his chair, rushing into the bathroom after her. An'na had one hand over the sink. Even before he was fully inside, he could see the droplets of blood running from her palm.

"What happened?" he asked, turning on warm water and sticking her hand under it. She winced and tried to move it but Ludwig put it right back and held her wrist so she didn't move it again.

"Box cutter," An'na replied. "Ouch, that stings."

Water mixed with blood, creating a pinkish liquid that stained his sink. When the cut was exposed, he could see that it wasn't deep. Thank God. But..."Don't move it," Ludwig instructed while getting antiseptic and gauze.

Returning with the needed materials, Ludwig grabbed her hand again, patting it dry with a towel. There was a lot of blood, which was common with surface cuts. "This is going to burn," he told her, and held up the bottle of hydrogen peroxide.

An'na made a face. "Like, really bad?"

"Try not to think about it." He expected her next reaction, which was why Ludwig tightened his grip when An'na tried to wiggle her fingers from his.

"How can I not think about it after you told me it—Ahh, god damn it, son a bi—what the hell is that, acid?"

"Peroxide," he corrected and waited for the bubbling antiseptic to finish cleaning out the wound. "What happened to the first aid kit I bought you?"

"I used it."

"All of it? On what?"

"First aid stuff, what else?" she answered flatly. The logic was so simple, and the answer was so An'na that Ludwig paused for a moment and looked up at her. All melancholy was forgotten because even though she was packing, An'na was still so very there; he was very much holding her hand with the stale scent of medicated peroxide surrounding them. He wondered if she knew that he knew how she felt. He wondered what she was thinking then, with her hand in his. He wondered why she trusted him so much to take such care with her. He wondered what would happen if he said how he felt. Ludwig wondered a lot of things in those few seconds while the sizzling settled down, and he would keep wondering if he could only just…

"Do you have feelings for me?" And the question came out without hesitation. Because it wasn't in Ludwig's nature to run from situations, even the ones he knew very little about. It made his heartbeat quicken and his cheeks burn with embarrassment and expectation. He needed to hear her say it, for An'na to say something to stop him from saying nothing.

Brown eyes widened with what he could assume was shock. An'na pursed her lips and he squeezed her hand again when she tried to move it. Not this time. Ludwig wasn't going to let her run from it. She raised a brow at his actions, but dropped her gaze when he didn't relinquish it.

At length, An'na quietly answered. "Does it matter?"

The statement was ambiguous, not a refusal or denial, and it made him want to scream. He wanted a yes or no but of course she wouldn't give it. He kept his voice level and grunted slightly in disappointment. "It does."

She looked up at him then. "And Felicia?" Her voice was clearer and the implied question made Ludwig stiffen in surprise and his gaze shift to her hand self-consciously. As obvious as the question was, he did think she would ask.

Now it was An'na's turn to grunt, and it came with a bit of a cynical chuckle as she forcibly removed her hand, snatching the gauze from the porcelain sink. "Then it doesn't matter," She corrected and turned on her heels. "I won't play anybody's second choice."

A/N: As my guy friend told me when he read this chapter, 'finger snap and neck roll' lol. Let that be a lesson to all of you wonderful ladies (and gents) out there. You are too special to be anybody's second best! Sorry, Ludwig! I mean, I know I kind of wrote this but...you know...values and all.

-CeCe ^_^