Author's note: So, at least they managed to get out of the weapons vault in one piece… but the day is not over yet. ;)

It's afternoon already when Thor finally returns, all apologies for having had other duties to attend to and being unable to assume the role of a more dutiful host.

But Tony just whisks the apologies away; he has more important things to talk about with Thor.

"By the way, we ran into some guy named Frey as we were walking around the place," he says, eyes not leaving Thor for a second as he's trying to gauge the god's reaction to that name. "You know him?"

There is very little emotion playing out on Thor's face at the mention of the name, though. "Of course. He's the oldest son of one of the noble families of Asgard."

"A friend of yours?"

Thor shrugs, not seeming terribly interested in discussing the topic. "I wouldn't call him a personal friend or someone I would seek out to share a flagon of mead with, but I have no quarrels with him either."

"So what do you think of him? Nice guy?" Tony asks, trying to sound casual, as if he's just trying to make conversation without any specific goal in mind. If Frey was indeed telling the truth, he doesn't want to make Thor suspicious and have him ask uncomfortable questions in turn.

"I don't know him very well," Thor answers, steel blue eyes resting on Tony. "He and his family don't associate as much with the royal family as most of the other nobles. But I can still vouch that Frey is an able warrior and loyal to the throne of Asgard."

As in, loyal to Odin? Tony isn't sure if he likes that at all.

"So, the trustworthy and upright kind, huh?" he comments.

"Yes. I have never encountered any disloyal conduct from him," Thor answers. "How come you are asking?"

"Eh, no particular reason, just trying to find out a bit more about the natives around here, you know? Behavioural study and all. We like that kind of academic stuff back in Midgard."

Thor creases an eyebrow, seemingly a bit perturbed by the questions. "He didn't threaten or otherwise treat you in any way unfit for a guest, did he?" he says, eyes narrowing slightly at the prospect.

"Nope. Not at all," Tony quickly assures him. "He was courtesy itself. I was just wondering, is all."

Well, it would seem that he's not going to get any useful information out of Thor, at least. Damn. Looks like he'll have no choice but to judge his own intuition in this, which, admittedly, has led him astray more than once before.

"So when is this big audience going to happen?" Tony asks instead, trying to change the subject. "How much longer is your daddy going to make me wait around here?"

"I'm sorry that you have been made to wait, but the members of the council are still gathering," Thor says solemnly. "There are some that have not yet assembled for the audience, but everyone is informed and is expected to arrive soon." There is a short pause as Thor draws his breath. "Quite possibly even tomorrow, but I assure you that word will be sent out as soon as it's time."

And he really hopes that Thor is right, because he sure as heck doesn't want to spend any more time in this place than he has to. And he has a feeling that Loki would agree on that account.

He's about to ask why all those council members can't all just teleport into place when Thor speaks up again. "Actually, there was another matter I wanted to discuss with you," he says, crossing his arms. "I have been briefly meeting with Lord Hallgrim, and he would like to extend an invitation for you to join him in his halls for dinner this evening."

Tony almost snorts at that. Yeah, right, as if he's going to spend the evening wining and dining with some stuck-up nobleman he hasn't even met. No way.

"Forget it Thor, I'm totally not going. There's a million other things I could think of that I'd rather do instead – like, sit around here and watch the stone walls wither, one atom at a time."

Thor's shoulders heave a little as if he draws an inaudible sigh, but he doesn't sound annoyed as he speaks, just tired. "I understand if you would prefer to pass on this; however, you should be aware that turning down an invitation to share an offered meal without a good reason is considered very rude in Asgard, especially so when the host is of high birth. Lord Hallgrim would be sure to take grave personal offence to such a refusal."

Tony rolls his eyes at that. "Yeah, as if I'm going to loose sleep over some Lord Helsing getting all grumpy because I didn't show up at his party." He's pissed off more important people in his day than he can remember, often enjoying it immensely too, what's one more guy to that count? "Give me one good reason why I should care in the slightest what some random noble thinks of where I spend my evening."

"Lord Hallgrim is the brother of Lord Ragnvald, who so happens to be one of the members of the Council assembled for the audience. And the two of them are very close," Thor says without missing a beat. "It might make no difference in the end, but if Hallgrim should speak his indignity over your behaviour before Ragnvald…" the words trail off somewhere in the distance, the implications loud enough to be heard regardless.

Well of course. There's always a catch, isn't there?

"It would not be conducive to the outcome we want, huh?" he finishes Thor's sentence off, groaning in frustration. So Asgard is just like home in that regard – butter up the right people, don't piss anyone important off, and you might just get one step closer to where you want to be. And if you don't play by the unspoken rules, well, you're screwed.

Fuck.

"You do not have to stay long," Thor tries to reassure him. "The important thing is that you show up, after dinner is over you can excuse yourself with the explanation that you're tired after spending a long day in a foreign realm. Everyone will understand that. But not coming at all would be insulting."

And damn, he doesn't – he really doesn't – want to go to this dinner, but if not going will somehow negatively affect Loki's chances of clemency – well, there's only one option.

He sighs, throwing his hands out in surrender. "Alright, fine, I'll go. But you're going to have to look after Loki while I'm gone, okay?" he says, pointing a demanding finger at Thor.

Thor's shoulders slump a little as the god deflates. "I'm afraid that's not possible as I have further duties to attend to this evening that I cannot hold off on. Loki is going to have to go with you," Thor says, that apologetic look once more painted all over his face.

Double fuck.

"You know, I don't really think-" he begins, but is interrupted by Loki, who has kept silent during the conversation until know, merely watching them from where he's seated on the armrest of the couch lining one of the walls.

"You should go," the god says evenly. "Thor is right – refusing this invitation would be unwise. It is better if you – we – attend."

There's an unpleasant feeling churning inside of Tony as he watches Loki, realizing that whatever aversion he might be feeling towards going, it must be a hundred times worse for Loki.

"You sure?" he says sheepishly, hating this Hallgrim guy already for exposing Loki to this. Maybe that was his intent all along, though Tony sincerely hopes not.

Loki nods. "Yes. Hallgrim and his brother are indeed very close. Offending him would not be prudent, considering… the stakes."

"Fine," he agrees again, though it's not fine at all. But if both Thor and Loki agree on something – and when was the last time that happened? – it's probably for the best to go along with it, considering that they are the experts on the local customs, whereas he is as knowledgeable about them as he is about the mating behaviour of the dung beetle. If he antagonizes someone important who might have some sort of influence, no matter how small, in what happens to Loki – well, better not think about that. It could be what tips the scales, after all.

"But why did this weirdo invite me in the first place? I haven't even met him, for crying out loud!"

"Hallgrim has a penchant for the exotic," Thor informs him, voice more relaxed now that Tony has accepted the invitation. "He enjoys conversing with visitors from other realms and often takes the opportunity to invite foreign dignitaries whenever they are visiting Asgard. You only need to humour him and his inquiries about Midgard, and he will be satisfied."

Okay, it's not as if Tony doesn't have a wealth of experience when it come to making dull conversation with people he doesn't even want to be in the same room as.

"Wonderful. I'll play the Midgardian monkey, then. Maybe I'll even do a little dance to amuse everyone," he mutters. "Though, I think a crash course in proper dinner etiquette in alien wonderland would be advisable, because I can see at least a few hundred ways I could screw this up and make things worse than if I hadn't shown up in the first place."

"There is no need for concern, Man of Iron," Thor says, patting a supposedly comforting hand on Tony's shoulder. "You only need to act polite and courteous like it would befit a guest back in your own realm, and that will be good enough. No one will expect you to be familiar with the intricacies of our customs, and your host and his guests will be indulgent with any such unintentional breeches."

"So I'm not going to get publicly beheaded for inadvertently using the salad fork for the roasted dragon?"

"Worry not. We do not even eat dragon meat in Asgard."

He's not sure if Thor is trying to be funny or not, but he lets the topic die as another thought hits him. "So, Thor – you said before that it wouldn't be advisable for us to leave the premises – so how are we going to reconcile that with traipsing over to this guy's place?"

Thor merely holds up a hand. "Hallgrim is an esteemed advisor of the Royal family; as such he has been fitted with his own chambers in the Halls, so you will still remain within the castle," he clarifies.

"Well, small favours, I guess," Tony sighs, feeling a headache coming on. If it were up to him, he'd really like to spend the evening simply sprawling on the couch.

And just as he thought that this could not get any worse, Thor somehow manages to bring it on yet again.

"But there is one thing that should be considered," the Thunderer says, as if in passing. "When attending as a dinner guest in Asgard, it is seen as polite and as a sign of respect to wear traditional Asgardian clothing."

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