Bo

When Lauren finally came downstairs, Kenzi and I were sitting at the counter eating cereal that, unfortunately, wasn't chocolate.

"Hey," I said softly as she walked over and sat on a stool. She smiled and returned the greeting.

Maybe it was just my gnawing hunger, but I sensed some tension. Seeing her wet hair, I wondered if she had had to take a cold shower, too.

"Want some cereal, Doc?" Kenzi asked, picking up the box and shaking it.

Lauren's eyes lit up, "Yes, that would be great. I don't even remember the last time I've eaten."

As she poured the cereal and milk, I realized that I couldn't remember either, but I knew it had to have been over a day ago. I felt disappointed in myself for not paying attention, not taking care of her. In my current state of mind, it just added to the reasons I why I wasn't good enough for her, as stupid as that seems.

I was snapped out of my self depreciation when Lauren asked, "Do you mind if I use your computer after this?"

"No, go ahead," I told her. "Are you going to do research or whatever?"

I noticed right away the awkward smile she put on and the way she averted her eyes, concentrating on stirring her cereal. "Actually, I wanted to look for a new place."

It was another punch in the gut. I swallowed my sudden urge to protest and looked to Kenzi, who quickly shoved a big spoonful of cereal into her mouth as her eyes darted between me and Lauren. I could tell she was waiting for me to freak out.

"Of course," I said, trying to sound indifferent.

"So, what did Dyson want?" she asked, clearly trying to push past the subject of her moving out.

I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest. "The Ash wants to meet with you. He heard about the kidnapping. Dyson thinks he wants to offer protection."

She nodded, "I guess I should call him then."

"Who? The Ash?" Kenzi asked while I clenched my fists.

"Dyson," Lauren clarified. "I'll set up the appointment through him."

"Are you kidding me?" I was so close to freaking out, my voice was shaking.

Lauren finally looked at me, "Bo, it's alright. I know what I'm doing."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to broker a deal with him. There are things that I need from my apartment and the lab at the compound," she explained, calmly.

I couldn't believe she was considering making a deal with a man who enslaved her. "The second you owe him something, he'll own you again."

"I won't let that happen," she said.

I was at the edge now, shaking my head in disbelief. I quickly got up and headed for the stairs, afraid I was about to lose control.

"Bo!" Kenzi called after me, but I kept going up the stairs and into my room. I fell back onto the bed, pressing my palms into my eyes and trying to slow my breathing. I needed to calm down. I also really needed to feed.

Lauren

I put my head in my hands and exhaled slowly, my chest was aching. Bo was just trying to protect me, and I knew that, but she had to understand that I could take care of myself. Staying here and relying on her would put her in danger.

"Wow, Doc, you just keep twisting the knife," Kenzi said. She was right. But she didn't see that the blade went both ways. The more I pushed Bo away, the harder it was to breathe. But I had to do it.

I raised my head up, not sure how to explain myself, not that anything I said would justify hurting Bo when it came to Kenzi.

"The faster I'm out of her way, the better. I know you of all people agree with that," I told her, bitterly.

"No, actually, I don't," she said and stood up. "But right now, it looks like you are intentionally hurting my best friend, and that is not okay."

"I don't want to hurt her, that's not why I'm doing this. She's so damn stubborn and I know she won't let it go."

"Let what go?"

I sighed, "The fact that we can't be together."

"Jesus, Doc. For someone so smart, you are a freaking idiot." I was taken aback by her frustration. Kenzi was the second to last person I'd expect to try and push Bo and I together. She shook her head before continuing, "You're really giving up that easily? Well, Bo won't. She will still fight for you and protect you. That's who she is, and you, me, Dyson, Trick and Hale, we're all she has."

Her words were like a slap in the face. "You're right," I told her, feeling sick and realizing that I had given up. But I hadn't given up on Bo, I'd given up on myself. I'd told Castor to make me human again, which would take away my new freedom and put me back under the control of the Light. What the hell was I thinking?

"I know," Kenzi said in a serious tone. "Now, are you just going to sit there or are you going to go fix this?"

I contemplated this for only a second before getting up. I knew what I had to do, the problem was, I had no idea how to convince Bo that it was the best option.

I started to head for the stairs, but stopped to look back at Kenzi. "Thank you."

She nodded and sat back down to finish her cereal.

When I got upstairs, I found Bo sitting on her bed, hunched over and clutching her hand to her chest, her eyes shut tight with a grimace of pain on her face. I hurried over and knelt down in front of her, "Bo, what's wrong?"

She opened her blue eyes and looked at me for a few seconds. "I lost a fight against the wall," she whispered, nodding towards the fresh hole by the fireplace. "Forgot about the beams..."

"Shit," I breathed, reaching out slowly to take the injured hand, "Let me see?" I carefully pulled it away from her chest and assessed the damage. Her knuckles were bleeding and swollen and she hissed in pain when I gently touched the back of her hand. The metacarpal of her third finger was most likely fractured. "Do you still have that first aid kit I got you? And maybe some aspirin?"

She nodded, "Bathroom cupboard."

I went to get the supplies feeling incredibly guilty. She'd done that to herself because of me, and I couldn't even heal her.

I had cleaned the cuts and bandaged her hand in silence, then explained, "This is only a temporary fix. You need to heal."

Giving me a dejected look before turning away, she nodded.

I sighed, "We need to talk about this." She didn't say anything back. "I'm sorry, Bo. I shouldn't have acted as though your opinion didn't matter. It does." Still nothing. "I want you to come with me... to see the Ash. I know, you don't want me to but... the lab has the equipment I need to run tests, and if I could just figure out why you can't feed from me, maybe I could find a solution."

She finally faced me, her eyes still that incredible blue. "I thought you couldn't allow yourself to think like that." I didn't miss the slight angry tone of her words, but I deserved it.

"I was being selfish," I admitted. "It was too painful at the time to hold onto any hope. These past few days, my life has changed completely and I felt powerless to stop any of it, or at least slow it down. I was only thinking of myself and what I've lost, which I know now, doesn't even matter to me. What matters is that I still have you. We're in this together, right?"

She gave me a small smile, "Right." Biting her lip, she took my hand in her uninjured one. "Are you still going to move out?"

I nodded, "Yes, I am. It's a little soon to be living together, don't you think?"

"I just like having you here," she said quietly.

"I like being here. But it's not like we won't see eachother, Bo."

"I know, but I want you to be safe and if you're not here... Can't you just stay until we handle this whole thing?"

"We'll see, okay?" She nodded. "I need you to do something for me, though."

She gave me a questioning look, "What is it?"

I sighed, hoping this wouldn't upset her, "I need you to feed regularly. And before you say anything, I want you to know, I've accepted it, okay? You don't need to feel guilty."

I saw the hurt in her eyes before she turned away. "That doesn't mean I won't."

I rubbed the back of her hand with my thumb, "We'll go see the Ash tomorrow. Hopefully, you won't have to feel that way for long." I stood up, keeping hold of her hand and helped her off the bed. "We'll get through this," I assured her.