Sherlock: What are you doing?
Sherlock: I'm bored.
Sherlock: Talk to me
Sherlock: Hermioneeee
Hermione: This is ginny. Hermione is in labor and says to go bother John or she will put you permanently out of your misery once she's out of bed.
Sherlock: Fine, be that way.
Hermione: Hermione says you are a terrible future godfather cousin brother and human being. Also you are a narcissist and mycroft just texted saying you are shooting holes in your apartment stop it.
Sherlock: goddamnit.
Sherlock: Ginny, tell Mycroft to shove it.
Hermione: I am the midwife. Do it yourself. Ducking men.
Sherlock: There's been an explosion across the street from my apartment. Lay low for the next couple of days.
Hermione: I just gave birth. That was the plan anyway, idiot. Miranda Jane Granger, and you'd better not forget it, seeing as you picked out the first bit.
…
Sherlock: Someone is playing a game with me. I think I'm in love. Help.
Hermione: Is this the sort of game where other people get hurt?
Sherlock: Not if I win. That is what makes it fun.
Hermione: Idiot.
Hermione: Reading blog. Busy week?
Hermione: Fifty quid on your loverboy being Jim from IT
Sherlock: Who?
Hermione: Molly's gay boyfriend.
…
Hermione: Was that explosion in Glasgow part of your game?
Hermione: Sherlock!
Hermione: At least tell me you did everything you could to stop it.
Sherlock: Yes. It was the hostage's fault. If you could tell John that, that would be lovely.
Hermione: Don't be daft. I don't even know John.