Hermione contained the flames around her giggling daughter's crib with a sigh and picked up the phone, dialing Mycroft's number.
A familiar female voice answered. "Mycroft Holmes' office. Who may I say is calling?"
"Hello, Anthea. It's Hermione. Could you just put me through? I'll wait if he's on the line."
"Sure thing, love."
The phone rang a few more times before Mycroft answered, but at least she didn't have to wait. "Hermione?"
"Hello, Mycroft. I am going to have to move again quite soon, I think, after which time I will no longer be able to work from home. Is that offer of an office still on the table?"
"Of course. May I ask why the sudden shift in plans?"
Hermione hesitated for a moment, then asked, "What do you know about the Thirteenth Ministerial Department?"
There were only twenty-five official Ministerial departments, numbered (or rather, lettered), in a certain official document, from one to twelve, and fourteen to twenty-six. When questioned, this discrepancy was generally explained as a relic of history, some sort of Ministry of Colonies which had been decommissioned or some such. That was a lie. The Thirteenth Ministerial Department was the Ministry of Magic.
There was a certain degree of surprise in Mycroft's voice as he responded. "Department M? Well, I suppose that would explain… quite a lot."
"It would, wouldn't it? We should talk in person."
"Indeed. I shall send the car."
…
Hermione: John's blog says that Sherlock was at Buckingham Palace dressed only in a sheet. Please tell me you got a photo.
Mycroft: Even better. [video attached]
Hermione: I love you.
Mycroft: Don't mention it.
Mycroft: To Sherlock.
Mycroft: The video. Not your sudden admission of familial affection. Feel free to rub that in.
Hermione: Why bother? Harry's still my favorite not-quite-brother.
Mycroft: You wound me, cruel cousin.
…
Hermione: John says you're getting texts from a woman?
Sherlock: Obviously…
Hermione: A woman who's not me, smartarse.
Sherlock: I really need to have a talk with him about what he puts on that damn blog.
Hermione: He says, and I quote, that she's really got to you.
Sherlock: She keeps asking me to dinner.
Hermione: Are you going to go?
Sherlock: No, she is irritating.
Hermione: Tell me about her.
Sherlock: We have to meet in person. Mycroft insists.
Hermione: You find her irritating and she's a threat to national security? What's her number?
Sherlock: You are not allowed to become friends with Irene Adler.
Sherlock: The world would not survive the pair of you.
Hermione: Is that why you won't go to dinner with her?
Sherlock: I don't date
Hermione: I do. Give me her number.
Sherlock: I don't think she's your type.
Hermione: What do you know about my type?
Sherlock: It doesn't include professional dominatrices?
Hermione: What on earth would make you think that?
Hermione: We've never talked about what I like in bed, thankyouverymuch
Hermione: I have no objections to a domme, so long as she's clever and a little bit evil
Hermione: I suppose I could just ask Mycroft for her number. He'd give it to me to spite you.
Sherlock: Angelo's, half an hour.
Hermione: Make it an hour. You know I live forty-five minutes from Angelo's
Sherlock: Whatever