Recalling days of sadness, memories haunt me. Recalling days of happiness, I haunt my memories.

—Robert Brault

My sister was on the couch with a boy.

I knew from experience that it was easy to slip intimacy past my parents, even in the goddamn living room. They were just a trustworthy set of folks with confidence in their children. No STD's or jizz on the remote control and everything was good.

But this was my baby sister and that was a young man who she was on top of. That was a hand under her shirt and that hand could only go one place because I knew where boys liked to put their hands and their mouths and their wieners and none of that was going to be anywhere near Ruby.

Tweek ran into my back, hands braced at my waist to keep himself upright. My sister's fluffy head of strawberry blonde locks flung around and she landed hard on the floor, knocking her elbow against the coffee table where she swore and cried out, "Craig! What the hell?"

The fall she took left her little boyfriend confused and startled. This generation of Tucker children had been gifted with good genes so it was only fair for her chestnut haired boy to be an alright looker as well. He had that indie look to him: ringlet locks, rich eyes, a soft complexion. His appearance made me want to beat him up and I didn't think he'd have the muscle to defend himself. Not with his shirt gone, exposing the skinny configuration of his torso.

He took one look at me and his foggy expression fell. I smiled grimly and stepped toward the foot of the couch. "Hello," I greeted, holding out my hand.

We waited as he situated himself into a respectable position. Grasping my hand, he cleared his throat and asked, "Craig, right?"

His wimpy shake made my lips thin. "The only thing you need to know is that I'm big brother."

"Stop trying to scare him," Ruby grunted, coming to a stand. I gave her a once-over just to make sure her bra was still on. She rolled her eyes at me. "Thanks for being an asshole."

"I'm going outside. Tell your boyfriend to get out of here. This is a family reunion and he's not a part of it," I ordered. Tweek was already on his way into the entrance hall when I started to follow.

"Yeah? Well what about your friend?" She called after me.

"I didn't catch him trying to get into your pants!" Before I was even outside, there was a cigarette and a lighter held up to my face. I plopped down on the porch swing only to find that nothing from my past felt quite the same anymore. It wasn't enamoring and it didn't fill me with wonderment. All it really did was make me want to know why my sister had to grow up and meet boys and bring them home and then try to get with them on the couch and let me walk in on them the one time I ever made it home.

As Tweek fell into the seat next to me, our thighs touching and our shoulders brushing, he said, "That was nice to come home to."

Deeply, I inhaled through the filter of my cigarette and sat back as I let the smoke out. My hand just kind of did it on its own when it grabbed the blonde's and laced our fingers together. "You're lucky you don't have any sisters to worry about. It fucking sucks."

"He looked like a nice kid." I gave him a pointed stare. He giggled awkwardly. "He looked like a rapist."

"Sounds about right," I agreed, physically aware of my eyes losing their edge. Tweek looked into them, his green ones exuberant. His fingers tightened around my knuckles, and whether or not he liked it, I blew smoke into his face because I didn't want to look away. He didn't seem to mind, eyelids fluttering to keep from getting smokeye.

God, he was cute. I leaned forward and pecked his cheek, feeling it warm beneath my lips. He turned his head until our foreheads pressed together, noses rubbing. A weightless feeling harnessed my lungs as he wiggled the nip of his nose against mine and I forgot about my cigarette as this time I kissed his mouth. The blonde sighed contentedly, scooting closer so our lips would latch. Flicking away the unfinished length of my cigarette, I raised my hand and settled it against the back his head.

I don't think he meant for it to happen, but our hands slipped between my legs, and the presence of them against my thighs nearly seduced me. Tweek must've noticed because pressed a little closer and breathed a little faster. I pulled back and fixed the placement of our hands, inwardly smug at the highly embarrassed color of his skin. He kicked his feet out to start the swing, using that as an excuse to occupy his attention and time. This was the best form of entertainment ever. My thumb began to absentmindedly stroke his hand.

"So what do you think about my sister?" I asked.

"She's a pretty girl," he said. "You both have the same eyes." Ice blue was a Tucker trait, though mine and my grandfather's were the lightest to date.

"Are green eyes hereditary in your family?"

Shrugging his shoulders, the blonde considered my question. "I suppose. My mom's are green, but I don't remember meeting any relatives with the same color. I think my grandma's were hazel."

"Hazel's nice," I mused. "Varying shades and tones. But I like yours better. You wouldn't be the same if yours were hazel."

"Thank you," he squeaked, trying hard to control his lips as he glanced down at our hands. "Y-Yours are—" I hunkered closer and cocked my head to the side to see his face more clearly. A fleeting smile flitted past his mouth as he raised his gaze momentarily, dropping it quickly. "They're n-nice, too."

The door opened and Tweek leaned away from me. His speed was too suspicious and he made to tug his hand out of mine, but I kept a resilient hold on his fingers. My sister's boy stepped outside, taking a quick look in my direction as he excused himself before starting down the steps. He better had felt my eyes bore into him as I let him get away unscathed.

Unscathed only up until he hit the sidewalk where I called out: "The second you fuck with my sister, I'm coming for you."

I stood and took the blonde back inside with me, but my return had already been ruined and the smell was just same-old now. I found Ruby in the kitchen opening herself a can of soda. After leading Tweek through first, I released his hand and placed the two of us at the kitchen table. My sister did the same.

"I don't like him," I told her, expressing the blunt truth with a flat look on my face.

"Why?" She asked disinterestedly, sipping from her Pepsi which was just another Tucker quirk of ours. Coke was blasphemy.

"Because he was touching you." Her eyes rolled dramatically. "Yeah, pretty sure he just wants to put his nasty little wiener all over you."

"Well, sorry I'm not asexual like you."

Tweek and I made eye contact. It was quite a humorous moment.

"You haven't had sex with him, have you?" I inquired, narrowing my eyes accusatively.

"Nope. Pretty sure that now I won't either. Thanks for that." My sister and I shared a sarcastic glance.

"You're still a virgin, right?" Ruby nodded her head. "Good. Let's keep it that way." A comfortable moment of silence took place, interrupted when I asked, "You wouldn't happen to have his nudes by any chance, would you?" Her answer was to reach into her pocket for her phone. I clapped my hands together a good few times. "That's as classy as it gets, Rubes." Just as she readied the photo and stretched her arm out to give it to me, I said, "Here. Tweek's gay. Let's get a professional opinion."

I quirked my brows at him and motioned for him to take her phone. The blonde clucked his tongue and shook his head, but took it, and then looked down. "How big is he?"

"Six and a half inches."

He only needed a second to come to a consensus. "Eh. You're not doing too bad."

The phone was passed down to me and on the screen I saw a classic nude shot of the male genitalia and cracked up laughing. Nothing was better than a good old fashioned nude. "Man, this kid sure knows how to make me get hot."

Ruby snatched her phone back and shoved it deep into her pocket. She spat, "Since when do you care?"

"I'm your brother," I stated. "I care all the time."

"Then it's nice to see that you've grown up." Her vehemence toned down a notch. "I care, too."

"I know you do."

"And I'm happy you came back. Even if you had to embarrass me to do it." She grinned as she got up from the table and shot a curious look at Tweek. "Keep my brother safe, alright?"

At the abrupt order, the only thing Tweek could manage on such short notice was a nod and a stunted "O—Okay."

My sister left the room then and I followed her out with the same look I'd gave her boyfriend since, in her opinion, I just wasn't capable of keeping myself "safe."

Once she was gone, Tweek returned from his stupefied state. "You'd make a good dad," he said. "...Have you ever thought about having kids?"

Not even the thought of impregnating a woman and taking care of a child was something that I could imagine. When I pictured my future in terms of family, it wasn't me that I saw. Token and Clyde would settle down and reproduce, but that wasn't going to be me. I wasn't disappointed by that outcome either. Not when it just was.

"No. I could think about it but it's not going to happen. Being a father and having a woman isn't my thing."

Tweek grinned cheekily. "Is this your way of telling me you're gay?"

You'd like that, wouldn't you? I matched his expression and said, "Shh. Don't go telling everyone my secret."

Without warning, heavy footsteps started down the stairs. The blonde's grin faltered and he grew tense in his seat. My dad's entrance must've sounded threatening and unusual to someone without a father as large as mine. To me, though, the repetitive thunk of his footfalls was homely. A childhood for me wouldn't be without the house shaking every time my dad left his room.

But Tweek didn't have to know that just yet. So I faked a look of concern, knitting my brows together. "Damn. He sounds pissed. I don't know if it was a good idea bringing you over." His face blanched and I could only hold the joke a second longer before I cracked a smile and ruffled his hair. "I'm just fucking with you, dude. My dad's practically tiptoeing right now compared to when he's angry." But that had been the wrong thing to say seeing as the blonde's skin paled further.

And then from the staircase we heard my dad bellow, "Craigifer Drew."

Shit. I had an epiphany right then. I suddenly knew what my worst fear was: full first names followed by middle names.

As a child, Craigifer Drew hadn't been a name. Craigifer Drew had meant that spanking was imminent. As a teenager, Craigifer Drew had meant getting my head thrown against the wall that first time I'd been caught smoking. Now, though, Craigifer Drew meant incomprehensible things because I've never been called that as an adult.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing coming back home?" His voice was getting closer and I stood from the table so that I could run if I had to. Tweek would just have to fend for himself. "I thought we kicked you out and got rid of you at eighteen!" That's when he came barreling into the kitchen, and I almost wanted to laugh at myself except I was about to release my bowels all over the place because my dad could take one step faster than I could lunge and he had me in the air before I could even understand the dilemma.

Gravity came rushing at me as he let me go. I wrapped my arms around his neck to keep from landing too harshly, a futile effort of mine. He let us fall as gracelessly and haphazardly as he could, sandwiching my limbs between his body and the kitchen floor. As he reached to grab one of my legs, I shoved him around until I could free myself. In his attempt to drag me by the ankles, I twisted roughly and grabbed his shoulders so I could wrestle him to the ground.

We grappled on the tile, trying numerous times to get leverage on each other by throwing elbows, kneeing guts, and jabbing fists. We aimed where we could and hoped to land a hit somewhere weak. It was harder to get my dad on either of his flat sides—stomach or back—than it used to be. Not that I've ever won a wrestling match between the two of us. He just had a counter attack ready for every offensive attack and I couldn't seem to get myself around his bulk. For being lanky and long-limbed, it wasn't as advantageous as I'd hoped. My dad had more girth than I remembered and I didn't have a second plan of action to fall back on.

With hinges as rusty as mine, our tousle ended prematurely due to my loss of breath and utter failure. I just laid on the floor and quit moving for a while. My dad got to his feet and plucked my body up off the floor before slinging me into a chair. He slapped my back so hard it felt as though my skin had welted. "That was a pussy round, boy." My dad went to grab two waters from the fridge and tossed one. "You getting fat down there in Lakewood or something?"

"Must be," I answered, wincing as I made to sit up higher. Beside me, Tweek was a still life form, reminding me of those paintings teachers liked to have their students do of fruit or vegetables. "Dad, meet Tweek Tweak. He's a homosexual and a virgin" —and he wants my nuts— "so try not to rough him up too much."

The blonde appeared terrified by my warning. I didn't blame him. That ogre of a firecrotch was my dad and I was still scared of him. "H-hello."

"A Tweak, huh?" He sat down across from me, one grisly arm on the table. "Never thought you'd associate with that particular family." If Tweek was insulted, he did an wonderful job of concealing it. "Not after what happened in grade school."

My shoulders shrugged in indifference. "He's pretty neat." It didn't matter that he was sitting next to me or that he was listening. There was a reason as to why I was shameless. "I like the way he looks."

After inspecting the uncomfortable blonde, my dad nodded his head and said, "Yeah, you like the quirky ones." Tweek's customary blush marred his cheeks, but he should've waited to do so until my dad was finished speaking, because the next thing out of his mouth was: "You two being safe?"

You're getting his hopes up so high, I wanted to laugh. Instead, I shook my head and simply explained that we weren't having sex.

Then out of nowhere, arriving late was the last Tucker who showed up so opposite from my father that we hadn't even heard her come down the stairs.

"Guess what," my dad implied. It was rhetorical, so she ignored him and came around the table to give me a hug. It hadn't been a too terribly long time since I'd last seen my family, but it was hard not missing my mom even for a day. That was the one downside to Lakewood: it didn't include my mother. "Our son finally decided to introduce us to his boyfriend."

Actually, Tweek might've been living it up.

"Don't joke like that, Thomas. You're embarrassing him," she scolded. Tweek was both mortified and surprised when she came over to him and gave him a welcoming squeeze around the shoulders. "This is the sweet boy who gives you your coffee for free, remember? Keep talking and he'll charge you. I'd keep you outside if you started complaining about that."

Free coffee? My eyebrows practically flew from my forehead and the only way the blonde's widened eyes would be leaving the table was if I ripped them off. He looked like he was internally beating himself up and forcing himself not to strangle my mom by the way he was twitching in his seat.

Because Tweek Tweak gave my dad free coffee and he did it because my dad was my dad.

You have it so bad for me, Tweek.