Chapter 2

"Casey thinks we should hook up for just a night hunh?"

She stilled and closed her eyes trying to will away the murderous thoughts. She was going to kill Casey.

"El I'm so sorry, she's drunk," she explained to his obvious delight. "What did she say to you?"

He shook his head with one hand on the steering wheel and one draped across the back of her seat. He was thinking through what to reveal and what to keep to himself but instead of speaking he ended up just smiling at her. The smile disarmed Olivia. There was something there she hadn't seen before and she didn't know whether to continue to nudge him on whatever Casey said to him or bolt like hell to her apartment.

She decided to nudge.

"Come on why won't you tell me?" she asked in a voice that was much higher and flirtatious than she intended it to be. She mentally scolded herself. This was Elliot Stabler.

Her co-worker.

Her Partner.

Her friend.

No. No. She doesn't flirt with Elliot Stabler.

Ok maybe she did a little light flirting every once in awhile but there were normally people around and it wasn't when she was alone in a car with him, a little tipsy and he was looking at her like that.

He tapped the steering wheel lightly before answering. "Just what I told you. She thinks we should hook up for a night."

"You're lying through your teeth Stabler but it's fine. Good night."

Elliot wasn't ready for her to go. He didn't want to come right out and tell her so he decided to divulge more information. "Ok you wore me down. She thinks we have a lot of sexual tension and are too hot to not be together." He put up air quotes at the word hot mocking Casey's incessant use of the word earlier.

Olivia let out a heavy sigh and settled back into the seat. "Good grief."

"So are these the things you two talk about on girls night because if that's the case I need to join in more often."

"We don't get to hang out much because work is hellish so when we do yes it gets like that and no you can't join us. It's called girls night for a reason," she said playfully. She leaned a bit more into her seat and noticed that the hand that was draped across her seat was dangerously close to her hair.

"You can at least tell me if my name comes up often."

"Not as often as you wish," she teased and tried to read his mood. She could tell he was stalling for time because Elliot normally never engaged in this kind of conversation. To get him talking was a rare commodity but she thought she would give it a try. "How was your visit tonight with the kids?"

He shifted immediately in his seat and to her disappointment moved his arm. "I told you it was fine just couldn't do much."

"I know that's what you told us but I just want to make sure. I'm your partner. It's my job to worry about you."

He sat for a moment thinking over how much he would share. He didn't want to burden her with the mess of his personal life but sometimes holding it all in was suffocating.

"I'm just trying to get used to having to visit my kids or having my kids visit me. I still haven't gotten used to going home to an empty apartment. Hell I just got used to calling the apartment home."

He scrubbed his hand down his face in frustration and tapped anxiously on the steering wheel.

He was being the most candid that she had seen him be in a very long time and her heart broke for him. "El are you sure, are you really sure that you can't talk to Kathy and work this out?"

He was shaking his head no before she finished the sentence. "No. It's over Olivia. That's actually not the part I'm struggling with. The Kathy part is what I'm the most certain about it's just hard to not have the kids. It will get better though," he assured himself and her.

"Yes it will. I promise," she offered putting her hand on his knee. He placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed tightly.

"Thanks Liv. I need to get used to the bachelor life anyway. How else am I going to be able to entertain all these women at the precinct according to Casey that find me irresistable?" he joked and the atmosphere shifted again. He really was okay and that's what she needed to know more than anything.

"On that note," she grinned and tugged on the door handle. "Good night El. See you in the morning."

XXXXX

They grabbed breakfast together the next morning and they were right back to normal discussing cases and fighting over food whenever she would try and take something off his plate and vice versa. Later in the day Elliot got caught up going undercover as a paroled rapist trying to entrap Ray Schankel. She worried about him on that case because she wasn't around to watch his back and she didn't have much contact with him. She also knew how cases like that took a toll on him even if they did distract him from his personal problems.

While grabbing coffee one morning on the way to the precinct to get an update on Elliot's case she ran in to Charles Ford, a handsome stockbroker whose office was a block away from the precinct. He bought her coffee and made polite conversation while she waited for her order to be done. Normally she would be a bit more talkative because he was her type and seemed nice but she was worried about Elliot. He noticed that she was a little distracted and gave her his number to call sometime for dinner or a movie.

When the case was over she decided to give Elliot a few days to unwind. She texted him to make sure he was fine and everyday she asked if he needed anything but he always said no. It was an unspoken rule between them to give each other space to come down after a difficult case. By the fourth night she was getting antsy and decided to text him to see if he needed her to bring dinner over. While she waited for a reply she heard his familiar knock on the door.

"Hey." He held up two plastic bags filled with food inside. "I brought dinner."

She smiled and motioned for him to come in. "Feeling better?"

"Yes I am. I bought a movie too if that's ok," he announced feeling a bit uneasy about the gesture. It's not something they did before just hang out and watch movies but he really needed some company and if he was being honest with himself he didn't want to spend his time with anyone else.

"It's fine El," she responded and helped him open up the boxes.

He got her favorite order from their favorite Chinese restaurant and they settled in on the couch to watch the movie.

"What movie did you bring?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I heard it's pretty good."

She knew it well. "Oh is that the one where the costars are rumored to have fallen in love on set and are now secretly dating? Isn't he married to the girl from that show Friends?"

He arched his eyebrow at her. "I never figured you for one to be in to Hollywood gossip."

"I'm not," she began, "It's all over the magazines I see everyday. Who knows if it's true. Just a rumor."

"Well you are no stranger to rumors Benson so you should know not to believe everything you hear. If you did then you would believe we have been sleeping together for years and you are the reason I'm getting divorced," he tried to joke but Olivia stopped eating abruptly.

He closed his eyes and silently cursed himself. He knew that she would be sensitive about something like that wasn't thinking. "Sorry that was a bad joke."

"No no it's ok I just didn't know you knew about that rumor," she said uneasily.

"Liv, everyone has heard that rumor."

He kept eating and she noticed that he was nonchalant about all of it. She shook it off and continued to eat while the movie began. They ate in comfortable silence laughing and making comments about the plot.

"They look good together. I guess it makes sense they would hook up," she blurted out.

"That's what Casey said about me and you."

Olivia started to choke on her sesame chicken and he handed her some water. "You ok? Do you need the Heimlich?" he tried to ask between laughing.

She smacked him on the back while drinking her water. "Very funny." She caught her breath and regained her composure while he continued to watch her with a smirk on his face.

"You can be such a jackass sometimes," she threw at him and he held his chest like he was hurting. "Why do you find this so funny?"

"It's funny to me because it makes you nervous."

"It doesn't make me nervous El. Why would it?"

She tried to shrug it off but they had been partners for years. She knew Elliot wasn't buying it. She had to create some distance and get away from the conversation.

"Would you like another beer?" she asked getting up and heading to the kitchen.

She didn't hear his answer but grabbed two beers from the fridge anyway. She took a minute before she closed the door to take a deep breath and gather her thoughts when she felt it. She felt his heat totally contradicting the cold air from the fridge near her. One of the reasons they worked so well together in the field is because they always knew where the other was without having to say anything. That was a blessing when they were chasing perps in the field. Right now she felt a little like it was a curse.

When she turned around he was on the other side of the fridge door with his arm perched right above her.

"What are you doing? I was going to bring it to you." Her voice was breathy and even she could hear the anxious tremble.

When he didn't answer she put the beer in his hand. He twisted off the top and took a swig without moving his stance. She closed the fridge door causing him to stand up straight and she could sense that something was different within him again and she didn't know what. Him and those damn mood swings.

"We're missing the movie," she acknowledged trying to break the silence.

He stood in front of her and his presence was intimidating. He watched her closely and she wilted under the penetration of his gaze. "We can go back and watch the movie when you tell me why the thought of us together makes you so nervous."

She huffed and tried to move around him to go back to the living room but he stood in front of her to block her. "It doesn't make me nervous," she said defensively. "It's just dumb."

"Wow the thought of us together is dumb," he scoffed. "Tell me how you really feel."

"No I didn't mean it like that. It's—just—why are we talking about this?"

Olivia was getting more and more uncomfortable with every passing second. She opened her beer hoping that alcohol would help take the edge off.

"Oh come on Liv don't tell me you haven't thought about it before," he declared in a voice so low and husky it sent chills up her spine. She had never heard him sound like this before.

"Ok the fact that you are even talking like this means you've had one too many of these." She took the beer from his hand and put it on the counter. He smiled and picked it back up and drank from it again. She watched the muscles in his arm flex and the way his shirt fit against his hard chest. Elliot was sexy, there was no doubt about it. She had always noticed but right now with alcohol swimming through her veins, alone in her apartment, this line of questioning was treading in dangerous territory.

"Clearly you are thinking about it right now," he joked effectively catching her in the act of staring at his upper body. She opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off. "Lie and tell me you weren't."

She was about to protest again but decided against it when she made eye contact with him. She always loved his blue eyes. They were how she read everything that was wrong with him and how she knew if he was hurt or angry or depressed. She didn't see any of those emotions right now. She saw something else that made her heart start to race.

Desire.

He was clearly getting a kick out of watching her squirm but Olivia was never one to let anyone have the upper hand on her especially Elliot. She closed her eyes and mustered up all the courage she could to turn the tables.

"Tell me you haven't thought about it," she shot back raising her eyebrow at him and smirking.

"Will it make you feel better if I admit it first?"

"Yes," she flirted. "So have you?"

"Yeah," he answered simply and she wasn't expecting it. She expected him to change the subject but she didn't let him see that he caught her off guard.

"Really." She took another sip of her beer to buy herself some time. He won that round and by the shit eating grin on his face he knew it. So she struck back.

"So what specifically about us have you been thinking about Stabler?" she asked in a low rasping voice and she saw him swallow hard. His dick twitched and she saw him smile as if to tell her she got him.

"Oh no you still haven't admitted that you've thought about it before."

He was actually nervous at her response and took a sip of his beer while he waited for her to answer. He always thought it was obvious that he was attracted to Olivia but she on the other hand was always tough to read.

"Ok fine Elliot. I may have thought about it once or twice. There. Are you happy now?"

"I am actually," he responded triumphantly and walked with his chest poked out back to the sofa. She followed close behind and picked up the remote to mute the television since it was evident that they were paying attention to the movie anymore anyway.

"So you didn't answer my question," she said leaning back into the corner of the sofa. "What specifically did you think about?"

"Careful Liv," he warned. "Don't ask questions you aren't ready to hear the answer to."

Sonofabitch.

He was trying to knock her off her game again or maybe he was serious. She couldn't tell but she stood firm.

"If I wasn't ready I wouldn't have asked."

He mimicked her posture and sat back on the other end of the sofa pulling one of his legs under the other. "I thought about what it would be like if we—you know—"

"If we what?" She was goading him and he knew it.

"If we had sex Olivia. There I said it."

He used her full name. That rarely happened. He was starting to get edgy which is exactly what she wanted.

"And how long have you been having these thoughs?"

"Now wouldn't that be telling," he smiled and winked at her. Elliot Stabler actually winked at her and was being flirtatious. She couldn't fucking believe it. "So what specifically did you think about Liv? Us having sex?"

"No Elliot I thought about us building sandcastles, what do you think?" she bit off sarcastically.

He flashed a wry smile feeling he turned the tables once again. "Where were we when you had this fantasy?"

She huffed and she started to feel nervous again. She couldn't remember when she finished her beer and she needed to get another. When she moved to get up he stopped her.

"Ill grab it, I need to get another one myself."

He came back with two more beers and she didn't waste anytime taking another drink.

"Whoa whoa slow down Liv," he warned her. He put his hand on her arm to still her and he could feel the goosebumps start to form immediately. "Then again keep drinking. I may find out all kinds of stuff tonight."

She rolled her eyes and grabbed the remote. "Do you want to watch the rest of this movie or not?" She turned the movie back on only for it to be in the middle of a love scene. Elliot tried everything in him not to laugh at the shocked look on her face but the third beer was beginning to take its toll. He burst out laughing and she got pissed and threw the remote at him.

"You're a jackass."

"I know," he agreed putting the remote back on the table. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"No seriously," he said. "Thank you. Liv this is the most fun I've had in a long time. After the past few days I needed this."

Another about face.

"It's my pleasure," she replied sincerely.

"And speaking of your pleasure—" he started.

"Oh my god," she shrieked hitting him with a pillow.

He laughed absorbing the blow and put the pillow behind his head using it to get more comfortable.

"Don't you want to hear more about the sex thoughts I had?"

"No I don't," she lied.

"Well tell me about yours."

"Uhh no, you aren't telling me I'm not telling you."

"But I offered to tell you and you just didn't want to hear it," he reasoned.

She kept shaking her head no. "Doesn't matter."

"We were in the cribs, no one else was at the precinct," he began in that voice that made her weak and she hurried to put her hand over his mouth. Her body ended up sprawled over his, her side was leaned into his chest and her hip landing square in the groin area. Once she noticed their position she tried to pull back but was held back by his vice grip around her waist. She shot him a puzzling look and when his eyes dropped to her lips she felt panicked and nervous.

And aroused.

Her beers were starting to catch up to her too so her reflexes weren't as fast as they usually were. Elliot didn't make a move and she ultimately gathered her wits moving back to her normal sitting position on the couch.

He cleared his throat and shook his head trying to shake himself from the moment. He regretted not taking the chance but on the other hand he didn't want to spook her. He didn't know if he should apologize or something to take the awkwardness out of the moment but he decided to be honest with her instead.

He sat up on the sofa next to her, both his hands interlocked and his leg touching hers while he searched for the words to say. He wasn't used to bearing his feelings but he felt like she deserved to know the truth.

"You know Liv. When Ray had me in that warehouse and I was tied up I just started thinking about a lot of things," he started. Her body language immediately changed and she listened intently.

"I didn't know if backup was on the way or if you all could even find us. I feel like my life has just been all about responsibility and trying to do what I should do and I try and try and I still end up in a place where I'm miserable."

He furrowed his brow and picked at his jeans while he continued to pour his heart out to her. "I thought that maybe I need to just say fuck it and do what I want to do instead of what's expected of me. Maybe at least then I would be a little happy even if it's just temporary."

"That makes sense," she agreed putting her hand on his arm for comfort. "Now you just have to figure out what you want to do."

"I already know," he said softly. He turned his head and his eyes were once again on her lips.

"El-"

"I just can't imagine not knowing just once what it would be like to kiss you, to hold you," he breathed and his forehead got closer to hers. She was in a daze. His words were intoxicating. "To-"

"Don't say it," she interrupted and moved her face away from him slightly. She couldn't bear to hear Elliot say anything about them being intimate or she would lose all sense of self control.

"Liv. It's just one night," he smiled flirtatiously but she could see how serious he was. His blue eyes were suddenly darker and the air between them was thick. "You know it would be good. Don't you?" he breathed and she lost herself.

In the blink of an eye everything changed.

Her lips were on Elliot Stabler.