Chapter 7

Olivia sat in her sedan outside of the precinct watching her colleagues go in and out of the building. She nursed the cup of coffee she brought from home. It was her second cup and she hadn't even begun her shift. She had been sitting in the car for almost thirty minutes nervous about going inside and facing her partner for the first time in the 36 hours since she left his apartment.

She glanced at her watch again and tried to still her bouncing leg that wouldn't stop moving out of nervousness. Elliot had gone back to work yesterday and she had a full day at her apartment to go through every emotion possible at changing the one relationship in her life that meant more to her anything. She felt anxious about seeing him again in a professional setting and how they would interact. She felt worried that other people would find out and they would be split up as partners. She felt sad that no matter what happened they wouldn't be able to go back to how it was before they crossed the line. One thing she didn't feel however, was regret.

Olivia squeezed her hand against her forehead, took a deep breath and got out of the car discarding her coffee cup. As she walked to the building her lips lifted slightly at the thought of how they spent their last moments in his apartment together cuddled up watching the football game. It didn't take her long to realize that neither of them were really paying attention and stealing glances at one another as opposed to the television. She finally left in the early evening when he was on his way to bring Kathleen some soup and check on her.

The next day while he was at work he sent her text messages here and there making small talk but neither one of them discussed their confession to one another.

I don't want anyone else.

While getting in the elevator, she saw another officer and thought for a second that it was Elliot and her heart started to race immediately. She needed to get herself together before everyone was able to tell that there was something different about them. She had resisted his invitation to come by her apartment after work yesterday even though every part of her was on fire to feel his body against hers again. She decided they needed to pump the brakes and give each other a little space because everything between them had turned intense so fast. He reluctantly agreed and decided to trade racy texts with her instead. She thought she had lost her mind when she found herself giggling like a schoolgirl at his messages and waiting with baited breath for his responses.

It was a side of both of them that they hardly ever indulged and she realized she had smiled and laughed more in the past week entertaining whatever it was going on with them than she had in a very long time. When the elevator dinged announcing her arrival to her floor she looked around cautiously to see if he was there yet. She didn't see any signs of him and she hadn't heard from him that morning. She sat at her desk, took a deep breath and willed her mind to focus. She started to go through her case files and saw she had an email regarding the Recinos case. Suddenly her concentration was back full speed. She didn't know whether or not to feel guilty that reflections of Maria had dissolved thanks to her dalliance with Elliot but seeing the forensics report from the scene started to bring those memories back and flood her with reality. She read through the evidence found in the basement and in the electronics store.

"Good Morning," Elliot greeted her and she jumped unaware of his presence. He put his hand on her shoulder to calm her. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and refocused. "Its fine, I-I was just looking over this report."

He sat the coffee he brought her on her desk and she turned around to face him. He had a smirk on his face, his lip slightly upturned and a twinkle in his blue eyes like he knew a secret that no one else knew. She took a sip of the coffee to hide the blush and smile on her face worried that people around them could sense something was different.

"It's ok Olivia," he assured her and looked around before getting closer to her ear. "No one knows that you say my name when you come." She choked on her coffee and he patted her back in amusement.

"You're such a jerk," she countered. She walked to the coffee station to get a napkin and to create some distance. Elliot's proximity took on a new meaning now than it did before and she felt her skin start to tingle at the sound of his voice.

Elliot looked around again to see where Munch, Fin and Cragen were. They were all not paying attention and doing their own thing so he decided to approach her. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

He was talking in that voice. The voice that coaxed her over the edge when he drove inside of her. The same voice that haunted her dreams since she left his apartment Saturday. He was standing right behind her just close enough for her to feel the warmth of his body but far enough where no one would be suspicious.

"Yeah just grabbing some napkins." She was going for nonchalant but it was evident how much she was affected.

"Oh," he took a step closer his chest slightly grazing her back and his breath on her throat. "Ok just checking."

Olivia peeked around nervously. "El, you have to stop." She was beginning to panic. He felt good against her but they couldn't do this at work. She was surprised to see him taking this kind of risk. "We talked about this," she breathed.

"I know," he apologized and backed up slightly. "I'm sorry I just couldn't help myself. You smell so good."

She nervously fidgeted with the sugar pouring it in her coffee cup and stirring it around. Her chest was starting to heave and she felt herself getting aroused.

"Well try harder okay," she pivoted out of his reach and back towards her desk.

She sat back down in her chair running her hand along her neck willing the goosebumps to go away. If they didn't get this under control their coworkers were going to find out. She didn't know where all of this with Elliot was going and didn't want to alarm anyone unnecessarily.

"Sorry," he mouthed to her again and sat back down at his desk. They worked silently on their paperwork and conversed with Munch and Fin. In the middle of the conversation, she saw Elliot playing with a pen near his mouth. The cap of the pen was going in and out of his soft lips and she saw the slightest hint of his tongue. Elliot's dick was magical but his tongue was a worthy runner up. Her mind drifted to when he said he wanted to taste her and how she had come for him within a minute of his tongue licking along her slit. He twisted his tongue inside of her and mercilessly sucked her—

"Liv? Earth to Liv," Fin said waving his hand to get her attention. Elliot had a shit-eating grin on his face and she shook her head to snap back into the moment.

"Oh yeah. What did you say?"

"I asked if you heard from Maria's social worker."

"Oh yeah I did. She emailed me this morning. I'll probably go visit her later," she answered.

"Good for you." Fin got up to fix himself a cup of coffee and even though she knew she would regret it she peeked at Elliot again. Anyone that wasn't really paying attention would think he was looking at her shirt or shoulder, but she knew he was staring at her breasts. She watched him watch her and her eyes fixated on his hands. Those hands that held her ass pressed against him while he thrust into her and eventually spill—

"I've got to go to the file room," Olivia declared standing up suddenly from her chair cutting off her errant conscious.

Munch glanced over the top of his glasses and eyed her speculatively. "Thanks for the announcement Olivia. I'm actually about to go to the bathroom if anyone cares."

She took another deep breath, picked up a random file on her desk and walked briskly to the file room. She went in and closed the door leaning against it to get her head together. She wasn't this person. She was acting like a horny teenager and not a dedicated detective. This was exactly what she had feared would happen that somehow they would become less focused on their jobs. She was deep in thought when she heard the doorknob behind her rattle. She knew it was him.

"Elliot, no get out of here," she hissed as he gently pushed past her into the room.

"No."

The file room thankfully was at the end of the hall where no one could see unless they were walking down there specifically to go into that room. She noticed the blinds were drawn and she promptly closed her eyes. She felt his hand brush her hair behind her ear and touch her shoulders. She breathed in trying to will her body not to respond but it was too late. Her nipples started to strain against her bra and she heard his breath in her ear.

"I know we shouldn't be doing this here," he whispered placing a small kiss on her shoulder.

She leaned into him. "Then why are you doing this?"

He kissed her cheek and his left hand traveled down her back. "I can't help myself Liv." His lips found hers and she moaned into the kiss keeping her hands by her side.

He pulled back observing her trying to determine if he had gone too far. "You can't tell me you don't feel it too."

Her arms left her side and rested on his bicep. There was no use in denying it. "I wish I could push you down on the desk right now." Her lips crashed over his and he backed her up into the door. She was confused, excited and adrenaline was pumping through her veins. Elliot's hands were on her breasts squeezing them and his tongue massaged hers. He cupped her intimately through her pants and she felt the liquid pool between her legs. She could feel his bulge against her thigh and she lost it. She started to stroke him and he leaned his forehead against hers breathing heavily.

"We gotta stop," he rasped. Olivia ignored him and reached for his belt buckle. "Liv no." He put his hands over hers and her gaze was a mix of a confusion and arousal. "If we don't stop now I'm going to take you against this door and our colleagues are just a few feet away."

She smiled her understanding. They had gotten carried away and she was glad that he was able to be the voice of reason.

"Then why did you start it you big tease?" she joked.

"I just needed to touch you," he responded seriously. "If you let me come over to your place tonight after work I'll finish it," he kissed her again. "I promise."

She fixed her clothes and hair. "I have no doubt you would," she muttered noncommittally.

He fixed his clothes and got himself together. "So can I come over later?"

Olivia put her index finger to her chin as if she was pondering the question. "I suppose I could go for some company."

He smiled at her and tried to fix himself in his pants. "I guess you should go out there first while I get this under control," he suggested pointing to his hard on.

She returned his smile and walked back to her desk a bit more jovial than she realized. She sat down and put the file back on her desk. She thought she was in the clear until she saw who was sitting at Fin's desk.

"Were you whistling Benson?" Casey asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Umm," she was starting to panic again. If Casey suspected anything she was screwed. "I slept good last night." It was the first thing that came to mind. "What are you doing here?" She tried to change the subject hoping Casey would fall for it.

"I came to talk to you about the Fleming case. We are obviously going to need you to testify."

Olivia squirmed in her chair as Casey approached. "Sure no problem."

Casey observed her closely and could tell something was off. "Where did you just come from?"

"Just down the hall," she half lied.

Munch walked back towards his desk with his coffee and a bagel in hand. "Did you find everything you needed in the file room?" he directed towards Olivia.

"Yep."

Elliot strided back toward his desk with one hand in his pocket and a file in his hand. "Good Morning Casey," he greeted her in a more chipper tone than usual. She looked back and forth between him and Olivia also taking in his demeanor.

"Good Morning Elliot. Everyone's in a good mood this morning I see," she noticed.

"Yeah what can I say?" he shot back. "The file room just brings out the best in me."

Casey jerked her head towards Olivia and grinned at her. "I bet it does."

She was about to say something when Cragen barreled out of his office. "Got a call at a school, assault and possible rape. Who's going to take it?"

Olivia needed to get away from their ADA and soon. "We'll go," she volunteered.

Casey smiled knowingly.

"Take Fin with you," Cragen ordered.

She snatched her coat and tried to rush past Casey who was sitting on the corner of her desk. Casey grabbed her by the elbow whispering low. "You do know that I will be right here when you get back."

"Unfortunately I do."

They headed out and Elliot watched their interaction figuring that something was up but decided to stay out of it. During the ride over, they acted normal because Fin was in the back seat. The mood changed completely when they made it to the school and Elliot realized the perp was the son of his former partner Pete Breslin. Back at the station, he worked in overdrive trying to get Pamela Sawyer not to press charges. They quickly found themselves back in partner mode arguing over the case.

"Who are you kidding? You're trying to make this go away," she yelled at him. She was furious that he was trying to sweep the assault of a teenage girl under the rug but she saw how absolutely torn he was. She stormed out of Cragen's office to see if she could convince Pamela to change her mind and press charges. She watched from afar while Elliot argued with his former partner in the hall and encouraged Huang to talk to Luke Breslin. When she went to talk to Casey this time the conversation about Elliot was tossed to the side in favor of the matter at hand.

"Has she agreed to press charges?"

Olivia shook her head in disgust. "No, she's afraid. Her parents are talking to her now."

Their conversation was interrupted by Cragen's yelling in his office.

"What's going on in there?" Casey asked.

She didn't know for sure but based on Elliot's behavior tonight she had a suspicion. Another minute passed and he came charging out of the office past her and Casey and grabbed his coat.

"El is everything ok?" she asked tentatively.

He didn't answer and stormed towards the elevators.

"Olivia you will work with Fin for the rest of this case," Cragen instructed her. "Elliot is on suspension until further notice."

She nodded her head and didn't bother to try and question it. "Ok." She knew Elliot was out of line but hoped it wouldn't come to a suspension. Cragen walked off and her and Casey exchanged a knowing look. She immediately felt a sense of dread in the pit of her stomach. The brooding, moody Elliot from just a few days ago was back and she didn't know how she fit into the equation.

She texted him that night to see if he was ok and he simply responded 'yes'. He was supposed to come to her place that night but she didn't even bring it up considering the circumstances. She didn't hear from him at all the next day when she went to talk to Pamela and continued to work the case. After working with Huang she determined that Luke actually was on steroids and Elliot was right. She thought about calling him to tell him the news but figured he wouldn't answer so she took a chance and went to his place.

He opened the door and stared at her impassively. "Are you going to invite me in?"

"I don't want to talk about it though," he answered turning his back on her and walking to his living room.

"Now you sound like Pamela Sawyer and that's not why I'm here."

"Then why are you here?"

His curt tone disarmed her for a moment but she swiftly recovered.

"To apologize. You were right about Luke Breslin. He's been juicing up on steroids for the past six months. Pamela says it's because of the pressure his dad has been putting on him."

Elliot looked shocked and the wall he had up when she first arrived started to fade a bit. "Does his father know about the drugs?"

"No and Luke begged us not to tell him."

"Someone's got to."

"Don't do it. Calling Breslin is only going to make it worse," she begged him. When he didn't respond or make it seem like he wanted her company she walked towards the door. "He's going to court tomorrow. Arraignment's first thing in the morning." She waited another moment and then let herself out. She fought back the tears that threatened her eyelids and hurried down to her car. It was like the other night hadn't even happened. Just like the job had brought them together that one night when she needed the comfort of his touch, it could just as easily tear them apart.

Olivia sat in the car, her mind racing. She pulled out her phone and saw she had a missed call from Charles. She still hadn't talked to him since their date was cancelled and for a fleeting moment she thought about calling him back and asking him if he could meet her for a drink. She decided against it and called someone else instead.

XXXXXX

"I have to admit Benson I thought you were going to avoid me for awhile," Casey teased. She nursed the glass of Bourbon in front of her taking small sips figuring she needed to be sober to hear what Olivia had to say. She didn't usually call her up to go out for drinks, Casey mostly initiated so she knew it had to be something serious. She didn't want to get tipsy and not be able to give her friend sound advice.

"Trust me I planned to," Olivia admitted. She wasn't following Casey's example. She threw back her bourbon and played with the rim of the empty glass while she prepared herself to talk.

Casey watched her closely. "Oooook. Ready when you are."

Olivia motioned towards the bartender for another drink. Once it was in front of her she took a deep breath and spoke up. "I slept with Elliot."