Chapter 8

"I slept with Elliot."

Olivia was still focused on her empty glass waiting for the animated reaction from Casey that she was sure would happen. When she didn't hear anything she turned to face her and saw that Casey was actually stunned. "Did you hear me?"

Casey cleared her throat and finished off the rest of the liquor in her glass. "Hey can we get two more down here," she told the bartender. "Sorry my goal was to stay sober for you but I feel I may need to loosen up for this conversation."

Olivia scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Oh great. I remember the last conversation we had when you were loosened up."

Casey lifted her eyebrow. "So you are going to try to blame this on me? Come on. I thought you guys would just talk about it I never thought you would have the balls to actually do anything."

Olivia continued to drink and tapped her fingers anxiously along the bar. Casey watched her for a few moments before finally speaking up. "Soooo are you going to actually tell me what happened or are we just going to sit here staring at each other?"

She exhaled and tried to figure out how much to tell her friend. She was already starting to feel the alcohol since she hadn't eaten much today plus she needed some encouragement and advice. She squared her shoulders, took a deep breath and told her about going to his house after leaving the Recinos case.

"Ok so you slept together," Casey shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "You said it was good so what's the problem? Did he kick you out or want you to leave or something?"

Olivia chuckled bitterly. "No quite the opposite actually. I got ready to leave in the middle of the night and he told me to stay until the morning."

"Now that sounds more like the Elliot I know. I couldn't see him just letting you leave that late."

Her leg was bouncing nervously and Casey was on the edge of her seat waiting for her to continue. "Well let me help you out since you are having issues getting on with the story. You woke up the next morning and…."

Olivia smirked and titled her head to the side a little and tried to speak lowly. "Well actually umm when I got back in the bed we didn't go back to sleep."

"YOU FUCKED HIM AGAIN?!" Casey squealed and she hurried and shushed her.

"Would you keep your damn voice down?" she scolded her.

Olivia grabbed her hand and ushered her away from the bar where the other patrons were looking on. They found a small booth in the back with not as many people around and settled in. Casey looked like a kid jumping up and down on Christmas morning.

"Start talking and start talking now. Who initiated it?"

Olivia sighed. "I don't know. I got back in the bed and the next thing I know he was back on top of me and he sa—," she stopped herself. "It just happened again."

Casey swallowed the rest of her drink and waved her finger at her. "Oh no. You cut yourself off. He said what?"

"Casey—"

"What did he say Liv?"

She closed her eyes and put her hands over her face. "I must be at rock bottom because I can't even believe I'm telling you this," she mumbled. "Let's just say it went down after that."

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT. YESSSS," she shrieked pumping her fist in the air and this time Olivia didn't even bother to tell her to keep it down since they were further away from everybody.

"I'm going to need another drink for this," she announced. "Hold that thought and don't you move a muscle. I mean it."

Olivia checked her phone again to see if she had any messages from Elliot and there was nothing. There was another text from Charles and she replied to him telling him that she was still busy. She felt guilty because she knew she needed to hurry up and put the final nail in that coffin. Even if nothing worked out with her and Elliot, she wasn't interested in anyone else right now.

I don't want anyone else either.

She rubbed her forehead at the recollection of her confession to him. How could everything have turned around in such a short amount of time?

Casey came barreling back to the table with drinks for both of them. "Ok ok keep going. So umm things went down and you had sex again…" Olivia nodded her head following along. "So you woke up the next morning and—"

Olivia shot her another guilty look before taking a large swig of her drink. "Well not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"Maria was still on my mind a lot and I ended up having a nightmare when I fell asleep.."

Casey's face turned serious. "Liv I'm sorry." She knew how much these kinds of cases involving children always weighed on Olivia more than anything.

"Yeah, I woke up and he was right there and helped me calm down."

Casey watched her closely trying to figure out where she was going with her statement.

"So I just umm. I kissed him and then I…" she cleared her throat. "I just needed to feel something so I somehow ended up-"

Casey grabbed her chest with one hand and grasped the table with the other. "Oh my god! Oh my god! Again?! Shit! Were you guys going for some kind of a record?"

Olivia buried her head in her hands at her friend's over dramatic response. Hearing it out loud it did seem like a lot but in the moment it didn't seem like enough.

"Just give me a minute," Casey squealed trying to pull herself together and drinking another sip of bourbon. "I should've gotten some water too. The rate this story is going I'm going to be too drunk to hear the rest. Hey can we get some water over here?" she yelled to the only waitress on duty.

"Ok ok. I'm fine now," she claimed clutching the collar of her shirt.

Olivia smirked at her in response. "Are you sure?"

"Yep. Ok so I'm going to try this again. You woke up the next morning right…" she prodded shaking her head for Olivia to finally agree that it was the end of the sex.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh at her. For all of her theatrics, the girl talk was just what she needed right now.

"Yes," she nodded back at her. "I woke up the next morning."

"Ok then what?"

"We just—talked," and she couldn't hide the blush that flooded her cheeks. It was the nicest time she had in a long time just talking about nothing with him in his bed naked.

"You talked…umm ok..well that sounds nice. Uninteresting but nice."

Olivia laughed again and began to really relax. "Yes it was nice until Lisa called," she added bitterly.

"Oh god no. In the morning? Did he answer?" Casey scoffed.

"He did," she explained. "And I got up and ran to the bathroom. I didn't want to hear it."

Casey suddenly felt a sense of dread on where the conversation was going. She knew Olivia and any sign of strife she would run for cover especially since it involved Elliot.

"Do I even want to hear what happens next?"

"To make a long story short. He told me that he broke it off with her, we hung out for a little bit, we had sex again in his bathroom, he told me he didn't want anyone else and I told him I didn't want anyone else either," she declared talking quickly and took a sip of her drink.

Casey stared at her wide-eyed and completely silent.

"Say something. I'm kind of freaking out here," she urged her.

"Olivia," she began earnestly. "What you've accomplished in the Special Victims Unit has always been admirable and I respect you for it. However, the fact that you have managed to fuck your partner senseless four times and have him declaring his undying love for you…I don't think I've ever been more proud." She grinned and grabbed her hand causing them both to burst out in laughter.

"Would you be serious for once?" Olivia chided her.

"Oh I am dead serious."

She checked her phone again and Casey saw the disappointment on her face when there were no alerts.

"So let me guess. This case came between you two?"

Olivia shook her head finishing off the last of her drink and reaching for the water the waitress had just brought over. She needed to clear her head. "Well that's the job. It giveth and it taketh away."

Casey continued to drink her water and try to sober up so she could offer the best advice she could.

"Leave it to the two of you to turn a playful conversation about banging one night into a profession of love," she teased.

Olivia was already shaking her head protesting. "Oh no. No one said the L word."

"Get real Benson. You didn't have to. I don't want anyone else," she said repeating her and Elliot's words to each other. "What do you think that means?"

Olivia continued to stay quiet. "You can sit here and try to play naïve all you want but you're not nearly as aloof as you pretend to be. And the fact that you rocked your partner's world for hours just proves that."

"Good grief are you ever going to stop giving me a hard time about that?"

"Probably not but seriously. I saw how he was that morning when you two were clearly in the file room together and he—wait did something happen in the file room?" she asked suddenly remembering Olivia's body language when she walked back to her desk.

She held up her hand to stop her from continuing. "It's not what you think. We just kissed and he was supposed to come over and well..you know how that went."

Casey sighed and touched her hand to comfort her and Olivia gave her a small smile. "You have to talk to him Liv."

"Oh no," Olivia replied. "You know how Elliot is when he gets like this. We will just see what happens."

"You've come this far. I know that admitting how you feel about him was a huge step. Don't back off now," she urged.

She shrugged her shoulders in frustration. "What can I do?"

Casey lifted her eyebrow and gave her a suggestive look. Olivia smiled in response. "We've done enough of that," she said blowing her off.

"Seriously. You need to talk to him. Wait until all this blows over and really put your cards on the table. Ok?"

She huffed and looked at her phone again. "Ok I will. It's getting late let's get out of here."

"Wait a second," Casey put her hand on hers to stop her from getting up. "We still have one more thing to discuss."

"What's that?"

"Just how good was it?"

XXXXX

As if it was possible, the next day was much worse. Elliot showed up to the arraignment but ended up getting into a bloody fight with Pete Breslin right after in the bathroom. Olivia tried to comfort him but he walked past her and she couldn't reach him the rest of the day. She had no idea he went to see Rebecca Hendrix and ended up pouring out his thoughts on his failed marriage and his abusive father. She continued to investigate the case and everything escalated when Luke shot his father and threatened to kill himself. Elliot was cleared and Olivia was the one to get him from the hospital after his suspension had been lifted to talk Luke down from taking his own life. She sensed a shift in him that day and she wasn't sure why.

It was early evening when she was working on her paperwork and Elliot came into the squadroom.

"Hey what are you doing here?" she asked surprised to see him.

He sat at his desk and turned on his laptop. "I figured I'm a little behind on paperwork and I may as well catch up on it." He gave her a small smile and leaned in to make sure no one heard. "And I figured you would be here."

She blushed and looked down trying to steady herself. She wasn't used to feeling so disarmed around someone and being at work with everyone around made her extra cautious.

"I'm sorry about the last few days," he apologized sincerely. "The case just got crazy."

"I know." She gave him a tight smile and started back on her paperwork. Fin and Munch sat at their desks getting ready to wrap up for the day when Cragen came out of his office and joined them to get details on their case.

"Hey Liv did you ever reschedule that date?" Cragen asked out of the blue. Her and Elliot's heads shot up immediately.

"What?"

"That date from last week. Did you reschedule it?"

Elliot stiffened and she could feel the tension begin to reappear within him. She never told him about the date she was supposed to go on that night.

"Umm no I didn't. Why?" she feigned indifference.

He looked at the hallway. "Because he's here right now."

They all followed his line of sight and saw Charles looking around trying to find which way he was supposed to go.

"Shit," she cursed under her breath and bolted from her chair to go and meet him.

"Charles what are you doing here?" she asked sounding more annoyed than she meant to. She could feel Elliot's eyes burning a hole in her back.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to just show up here but when I hadn't really heard from you I was worried. I know how much you work so I figured I'd find you here," he explained looking over her shoulder and seeing all of Olivia's co-workers staring back at him.

"Yeah look I'm sorry I didn't call you back it's just that things are always crazy around here."

She tucked her hair behind her ear nervously and fidgeted with her hands. This was an uncomfortable conversation she knew she had to have but she didn't plan on having it a few feet away from her coworkers and new lover.

"Charles I-I'm sorry. This isn't going to work," she apologized. "You really seem like a nice guy but-"

He held up his hand to stop her. "You don't need to finish. When you called me I thought you were interested but I guess not. Did I do something to—"

"No no not at all," she tried to assure him. "Things have just taken a turn and look I'm sorry. I really am." She patted his on the shoulder and gave him an apologetic look. "Take care of yourself."

She walked back to the squad room and immediately noticed that Elliot's chair was empty.

"Man that was cold Liv," Fin commented. "Poor guy looks like someone ran over his dog."

She didn't pay attention to his comment instead was scanning the room to see where Elliot was.

"He's upstairs in the locker room," Munch answered.

"Thanks," she headed upstairs while Fin and Munch walked out with Cragen close behind. "Good night see you all tomorrow."

She took the steps two at a time both apprehensive and eager to see him. She was all too familiar with Elliot's mood swings and was hoping this wouldn't end up being another argument. She opened the door and could hear him on the next aisle rummaging through his locker.

"El?"

"Yeah I'm over here." His tone was indifferent and she couldn't get a read on whether or not he was upset. When she rounded the corner and saw him, his shirt was off and he was pulling out clothes to change. He turned to face her and folded his arms as if he was waiting on an explanation. Unlike the facade she put on at his apartment when Lisa called, Elliot didn't even bother. He wanted to know what was going on.

Olivia sighed and was at least thankful that he wasn't yelling at her. She sat on the bench near where he was standing and he sat beside her.

"Charles and I were supposed to go out the night I caught the Recinos case."

"Mhmm. And?" he nudged her.

"And we were supposed to reschedule but we never did," she expounded.

"Why not?" he asked inching closer to her.

"Because I ended up at my partner's house instead and after that I saw no need to reschedule." He tried to hide his smirk but she could see his lip slightly upturn.

"So the two of you never-"

She scooted closer to him and her leg touched his. "No we didn't. That was going to be our first date. I have been dodging his calls because I've been a little…..," she rubbed her hand across the tattoo on his bicep, "distracted."

"I'm a distraction?" he asked trying to sound bothered but she could tell he wasn't.

She stood up in front of him and dropped her voice. "Yes you are. A great distraction." She eased her legs in between his and his arms encircled her waist. Her breath hitched feeling his warmth beside her again and she felt like they were back in his apartment. She expected him to reach for her shirt or cup her ass but instead he laid his head against her stomach and hugged her body against him. The gesture took her off guard and she put one hand on his back while the other caressed his cropped hair.

"I meant what I said El," she whispered and kissed him on the forehead. "I don't want anyone else."

Olivia felt his hot breath on her waist and he squeezed her tighter to him. They held each other for what felt like minutes until he stood up and his forehead was touching hers. She didn't know how to describe this feeling. It was something that overwhelmed her in the best possible way. She pulled his bottom lip between hers gently nipping him and his hands cupped her cheek. He moaned and she kissed him desperately, frantically. He squeezed her breasts and pulled her flush with his body. She clawed at his back trying to close any centimeter of space that existed between them.

She needed to feel him and be certain that what happened the other night wasn't a fluke. That he still cared for her as much as she cared for him. She needed to feel him all over her and suddenly it didn't matter that they were in the middle of an empty precinct.

"I missed you," he whispered in between kisses.

"I missed you too."

She felt his fingers at the hem of her shirt and began to tug. "El no we can't do this here. Your words not mine," she teased reminding him of his words to her in the file room.

"That was only a few feet away from everyone else," he countered placing kisses on her shoulder and stroking her skin underneath her shirt. She felt her body giving in and the liquid pooling between her legs.

"We can't do this here," she repeated weakly.

He stepped back and put his hand in hers. "You're right we can't. I was just about to take a shower anyway."

She opened her mouth to protest and he silenced her by crashing his lips to hers. This wasn't like either of them. They were never reckless. They were always the opposite. They did what they were supposed to do and maintained such tight boundaries. They got in trouble every now and then for bending the rules but it was always for the greater good of a case. For once they were being selfish and thinking about nothing but satisfying this raw unfiltered need they had to be together.

Elliot led her to the last shower stall at the end of the narrow hall, which also happened to be the largest one. He opened the curtain and they stepped in. He started to undress her but she stopped his hand when it landed on her shirt buttons. She pushed him back and he stared for a second concerned that she was putting an end to this. Her lips curled into slow lazy smile and she leisurely unbuttoned her shirt revealing a navy blue satin bra. Her cleavage was spilling over and Elliot growled in response. She threw the top over the wall into the next stall and proceeded to unbutton her slacks. He started to unfasten his belt and when she got a look at the bulge forming, she wasted no time shedding the rest of her clothes. He pulled down his boxers kicking them out of the shower and turned on the water. She yelped at the feel of the lukewarm water against her skin.

"El it's not hot enough," she shrieked and the smile brightened her face. He didn't get to see her like this enough and he wanted to do whatever he could to make sure he could see it more. He pulled her underneath the spray of the water when it warmed up and held her close. He watched her intently and stroked her hair while the water cascaded down her face. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He knew he had baggage and felt that she could do better but he wanted her with everything in him.

Olivia watched the emotions play out on his face and worried about him thinking too much. "It's ok," she encouraged him. "Everything's ok." She kissed him again reveling in the feel of his hard body alongside hers. He turned her away from him and she put her hands up on the wall to steady herself. He used his legs to spread hers and she moaned in anticipation. He squeezed and kneaded her nipples rolling them between his fingers. She threw her head back lying against his shoulders as his hand traveled lower down her abdomen.

"Are you ready for me Liv?" he whispered when his hand touched her core. He teased her folds with his fingertips and she arched into his touch trying to get him to penetrate her.

"Please," she begged.

His finger slid inside and he bucked into her at the feeling of her smooth walls. "Hmm you are ready," he whispered nibbling her ear.

He moved in and out of her slowly and she groaned when he added a second finger. He had one hand on her breast and the other bringing her to the brink of an orgasm. She was so close. She wanted him to fuck her but every part of Elliot was capable of bringing her over the edge. She tried to control her body but she felt her climax building.

"Unhhhh," she breathed squeezing his leg to brace herself until she heard the door to the locker room open. They both stiffened immediately, Elliot's fingers stopping just at the edge of her folds.

"Elliot you back there?"

It was Fin.

"Yeah I'm here just taking a shower before I head home." He tried to sound as normal as possible.

"Ok man. I left that Thompson folder on your desk, I just needed to grab my other coat."

Olivia was dying. Her body was burning to release and she needed Fin to hurry and leave. He sounded like he was about to leave until his cell phone rang and he answered it.

"Shit," Elliot cursed under his breath. Olivia started to squirm involuntarily. She needed to release and his fingers so close and yet so far was driving her crazy. She closed her eyes willing herself to calm down. When it was clear that Fin was not leaving anytime soon, she felt Elliot's hand leave her breast and cover her mouth. She was confused for a split second until she felt him start to move his hand inside of her again. She shut her eyes tightly trying to focus on not making any noise.

"It's ok baby," he whispered close to her hear. "Come."

She tried to process his words and she could hear Fin talking loudly on the phone to someone about a football game. Her body was becoming unhinged. She tried to fight it, she was nervous that she wouldn't be able to keep quiet but she couldn't stop it. Her body started to shudder and she came hard against his fingers. She closed her eyes tight as her walls clenched and his hand left her mouth to hold her around the waist and make sure she wouldn't fall. His fingers slowed down while she came down from her high and he kissed the back of her head tenderly.

"Ok?" he asked softly.

She nodded her head. He held her close and when he was sure that she was ok he turned her around to face him, her back touching the wet shower tiles. Fin was still talking and rummaging in his locker but he couldn't wait any longer.

He had waited long enough.

Olivia was still regaining her composure but when she saw his predatory gaze her eyes widened with recognition at what was about to happen. He kissed her softly so the sounds wouldn't echo, lifted both her legs around his waist, balanced her against the wall and sank deep into her.

XXXX

Author's Note: BYE CHARLES. Maybe Lisa is available for a date. Also, Casey is my spirit animal. Typically when she talks, it's all the things I would say.