Disclaimer: The usual. Supernatural is not mine. Only my obsession. ;)

A/N: Okay, somebody has to have a thought out there. After the first chapter...maybe not. But a review or two would be appreciated eventually. Thanks for reading anyway!

Chapter Two: Forgive Me Father…

Church had never been big with me. I remember going as a child but after my parents died I had decided that it wasn't worth it. God took them from me so why should I worship him? But here I was, listening to the priest's homily. He was talking about the mercy of the Lord. How in times of need, you can feel him and he will guide you. What a load of crap. Who actually believed this shit? After everything I've seen, how can God allow all the horrible I've seen to happen? When the service was over I waited for the church to empty before going to the front. There were two arches of prayer candles with a kneeler in the middle of them. I lit one of the candles, kneeling down, looking up at the cross in front of me. Jesus was nailed to it, as he always was, his torso and arms were off of the cross, bending up toward the heavens. I closed my eyes, silent tears falling.

"I know it's been a while." I whispered, looking up at the cross. My eyes brimming with tears. "I don't know why I'm talking to you. I don't know how to do this. There are so many things that I don't know. Things I don't understand. But I know I don't deserve to ask, I know that, but…please…please help Dean. He doesn't deserve to go to Hell. He doesn't deserve to be punished for wanting his brother alive. He's done so much good in this world. The number of people he's saved." I said and wiped the tears from my eyes. "I don't want to have to say goodbye. I got to go to heaven. I thank you for that. Despite everything, God I thank you for that. But Dean deserves the same. He doesn't belong in Hell. I don't deserve to ask for your help. But I think you're the only one who can help us now." I said and put my forehead on my folded arms, crying.

When I got myself together I stood, crossing myself before I turned to leave. My eyes were a little foggy from crying. I was halfway down the aisle when someone caught my eye. I turned and saw a woman look at me before disappearing behind a pillar. I stopped in my tracks. She had blond hair and it looked familiar. When I didn't see her again I put it out of my mind. It was just a play of my eyes. I didn't need another thing to worry about. I met the guys at a diner a few blocks way. By the time I got there I hoped my eyes were no longer red and I looked normal. When I walked in I saw Sam sitting alone in a booth. I slid in across from him.

"Hey." I smiled.

"Hey." Sam said putting the book he was reading away before folding his hands and leaning toward me. I frowned and did the same. "It's time we do something about Dean."

"What do you mean?" I asked him, my stomach dropping.

"We need to get him out of his deal." Sam replied.

I sighed and leaned back. "I want to. I really do. But do you think it's even possible?" I asked him.

"You look like you've already given up." Sam frowned at me, edge in his voice.

"Sam, I don't want to get my hopes up." I told him sadly. "If we start trying to find out how to get him off, what if we actually find a lead? What if we find someone or something that will help us get him out of his deal? If it goes south I will be completely crushed. I can't spend the next year thinking we can save him. Because when the year ends and he's taken from me, I won't survive."

I just finished when Dean came back. "Hey." He said sliding next to me, kissing my hair. "You two look serious. What's up?"

"It's nothing." I replied leaning into him.

Just then my phone rang. Bobby's picture looked at me. I slid it open. "Hello?"

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Nothing, what's up?" I replied.

"I've got something." Bobby told me.

"Where?" I asked him.

Soon we were on the road, heading to Lincoln, Nebraska. Bobby said there was crop failure and a cicada swarm. It wasn't known whether it was actual demonic omens or just a bad crop and bug problem. There were no deaths so far, nothing else linking this to the supernatural. But it was enough. It was our only lead and we would follow it. It was our job.

"You okay?" Dean asked me.

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" I shot at him sarcastically.

"That's hilarious." He scoffed at me.

I sighed and looked out the windshield. "I'm sorry." I told him. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"I can tell. You've haven't slept in weeks. Not a full night anyway." He replied.

"I'm fine." I told him. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I just don't need you asking me if I'm okay. I'm not okay. I can't even begin to imagine when I'll be okay again."

He didn't say anything. I shut my eyes, leaning the seat back. "Listen, just try and get some rest." He said softly.

"I'm not okay but I am fine. I don't have a choice. You may be trying to live it up now that you know when you're expiration date is, but the rest of us aren't as lucky." I said softly as I already started to drift off.

Dean was on top of me. He was kissing me passionately as his hands moved over my body. We were happy. It felt wonderful. It felt like it was supposed to. The way it was supposed to be for the rest of our lives. The climax was coming but instead of feeling the wonderful pleasure that sex brings, something started to drip on my stomach. I looked down, seeing the red. My hands were on his chest. Moments later they started to sink into his body, feeling blood and torn flesh beneath my hands. Blood slid down my arms. He was still smiling down at me. I looked at his chest. I moved one of my hands as I looked at the slashes. Soon I could feel something warm and slimy touch my palm before moving down my arm. I looked to see part of his intestine starting to come out. A pulsing beat against my palm before it suddenly stopped. Panic and shock were coursing through me. I looked back at his face. His smile was gone and instead of seeing the life in his eyes it was a never ending stare that no longer saw me. A scream erupting from my mouth.

I shot awake, my eyes wide. I covered my mouth as a spout of vomit tried to come out. The car jerked as Dean moved to the side of the road. Practically falling out of the car, I let it all out on the side of the road. I was shaking. I heard two doors slam, telling me the guys were out of the car.

"I'm fine. Please, just stay in the car." I told them without looking at them. I heard one door. I sighed and felt Dean's hands on my arms. He pressed his face into my hair. "I'm fine."

"Keep telling yourself that." He replied. "Maybe you'll start believing it."

I sighed, leaning back against him. He wrapped his arms around me as I wrapped mine over his. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry. I love you." He said softly.

"I love you too."

We stood there a few minutes before going back to the car. He wasn't pushing me about my nightmare but I knew it was coming. Right now we had more important things to worry about. When we got to the house just outside of Lincoln, Bobby was already waiting for us. I was the first to get out. Bobby opened his arms to me. I smiled and hugged him tightly.

"How you doin'?" He asked me softly before the guys could join us. I shrugged crossing my arms. "Yeah." He said and sighed, gently rubbing my back. "So we're eating bacon cheeseburgers for breakfast, are we?" Bobby asked Dean who walked up with a large sandwich.

"Well, sold my soul. Got a year to live. I ain't sweating cholesterol." He smiled. I frowned but tried to hide it.

"So, Bobby, what do you think? We got a biblical plague here or what?" Sam asked him.

"Well, let's find out. Looks like the swarm's ground zero." Bobby replied.

We walked up to the door. Dean pounded it. "Candygram!"

"Do you have to do that?" I asked him softly.

Dean just looked at me before pounding again. There still was no answer. Dean looked at Bobby before picking the lock. As soon as we walked in something foul hit our noses. I covered my mouth, practically gagging at the smell.

"That's awful." Sam stated.

"Ugh. That so can not be a good sign." Dean added.

"Oh God." I said before getting my gun ready.

I didn't want to do the girl thing and leave. I was tougher then that but the sound of buzzing cicadas was unsettling. We moved through the house. It was quiet and so far every room was clear. Dean and Sam went to one side of the house. I followed Bobby through the other half.

"How you holding up?" Bobby whispered to me.

"Now's not really the time is it?" I frowned at him.

"Can't get you alone any other time." He stated.

"I'm dealing." I told him.

He just sighed and looked at me sympathetically. I frowned and moved in front of him. The house was clear. There was the sound of voices up ahead. I looked at Bobby before moving into the room. It was the source of the smell. I covered my mouth as I looked at a decayed family on the couch. They looked like they were just sitting. I couldn't take it anymore. I felt the bile coming up my throat. I ran from the room and outside, letting it out. I wiped my mouth before going to the car. I reached into my bag and pulled a small bottle of whiskey out. Feeling the burn as I took a large swig off of it. I replaced the bottle and leaned against the car. I ran my fingers through my hair. I waited for my shaking to stop. I turned around reaching back into my bag. My hand was around the bottle again when I heard something on the porch. I straightened, pulling my gun out. I moved forward, slowly stepping up the stairs. I moved to the corner, hearing the shifting of feet just on the other side. I turned the corner just in time to see Dean get punched out.

"Dean!" I said rushing forward. A black man had done the hitting, a woman right behind him. "Stay back." I told him.

He rushed me. I ducked under his arm and punched his side from behind. The woman came at me. Stepping forward to meet her, I punched her hard across her jaw. I swung around when I heard feet but was hit hard. I fell, dazed, to the floor. I looked up to see the man hovering over me. He was interrupted when I heard Bobby's voice.

"Isaac? Tamara?" Bobby said to the couple.

"Bobby, what the hell are you doing here?" She smiled. She had an Australian accent.

"I could ask the same." Bobby replied.

"How are you, Bobby?" Isaac said shaking his hand.

"Hello? Bleeding here. Huh." Dean said with his hand raised from the ground.

"Here too." I said slowly getting to my feet.

"Sorry about that." Isaac told us.

"Sure." I said and helped Dean from the ground.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah. Are you?" I countered. He nodded. "Good."

Isaac and Tamara had a house they had been staying in. It was old and abandoned. They had their things everywhere. I stood uncomfortably as Dean flirted for information on the phone and Sam was keen on asking the married couple questions. I wanted to know what they were going to say. I wanted to know how they had managed to be Hunters and be married at the same time.

"Honey." Isaac said as he searched for something. "Where's the Palo Santo?"

"Well, where'd you leave it?" Tamara replied.

"I don't know, dear, that's why I'm asking." Isaac replied though you could hear the love in his voice.

"Palo Santo?" Sam asked.

"It's holy wood." Tamara told him. "From Peru. It's toxic to demons, like holy water. Keeps the bastards nailed down while you're exorcising them." She pulled out the wood, handing it to her husband.

"Thank you, dear."

"You'd lose your head it if wasn't for me." She smiled at him.

"So how long have you two been married?" Sam grinned at them.

"Eight years this past June." She smiled at him. Isaac pulled her to him, kissing her forehead.

"The family that slays together-" Isaac told him.

"Right, I'm with you there. So how'd you get started?" Sam asked with a smile. The smiles on their faces disappeared and they looked at each other. "Oh, you're not—I'm sorry. It's not—It's none of my business."

"No, no, it's— It's all right." Tamara said with a small smile.

"Well, Jenny, if you, uh, look as pretty as you sound…then I' love to have an appletini." Dean was telling the woman. I grinned. He'd never have an appletini. "Yeah, call you." He said before snapping the phone closed. "That was the coroner's tech."

"And?" Sam asked.

"Get this. That whole family, cause of death was dehydration and starvation. No signs of restraint. No violence. They just sat down and never got up." He replied.

"But there was a fully stocked kitchen just yards away." Bobby stated.

"Right. What is this, a demon attack?" Sam asked.

"If it is, it's not like anything I ever saw and I've seen plenty." Bobby replied.

"This sounds familiar." I told them.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. I can't put my finger on it." I told him rubbing my head. "I'll think of it."

"Well, what now? What should we do?" Dean asked Bobby.

"Uh, we are not gonna do anything." Isaac told him.

"What do you mean?" Sam frowned at him.

Just then my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number. I walked into the other room, answering it. "Hello?" There was silence on the other end. "Hello?" I asked again.

"Hi, Evelyn." A female voice told me.

"What do you want?" I frowned into the phone.

"Did you find out about the blood yet?" She asked.

"What the fuck do you want?" I repeated coldly.

"You know it's not over. Just because you managed to kill Azazel doesn't mean it's over." She told me. I could hear the smile in her voice.

"It's all over. It all ended with yellow-eyes. I don't give a shit what you say to me. You're a fucking demon." I shot into the phone.

"I was right before, wasn't I?"

I hung up the phone, pressing it against my lips. Taking a deep breath I went to my bag. The whiskey burned but it would take the edge off. I didn't need this. Of all things, I didn't want to hear from her. My phone vibrated. I opened the text. It was her again. By the way, congrats on opening the door. I deleted it and took another drink from the bottle. I put it back hearing arguing from the other room.

"Guys, this isn't helping. Dean." Sam said looking at his brother.

I frowned, stepping next to my fiancé. I leaned against him. "What's going on?"

"We're being blamed." Dean replied looking at Isaac.

"Look, there are a couple hundred more demons out there now. We don't know where they are. When they'll strike. There ain't enough hunters in the world to handle something like this. You brought war down on us. On all of us." Isaac told us.

"Okay. That's quite enough testosterone for now." Tamara said and pulled her husband from the room.

"I hear you there." I smiled at her as she moved past me.

Dean and I stood there next to each other. Sam glanced at us before going to find Bobby. I sighed and Dean nodded. I didn't know what to say to him. That troubled me more than anything else. The day I couldn't talk to him was the day we started to fall apart. But maybe it was true. Maybe we were starting to fall apart.

"You can talk to me." He told me softly, reading my thoughts.

"I know." I told him nodding.

"So tell me what you're thinking." He told me.

"I don't want to fight and I don't want to cry. I'm trying to deal with this, Dean. I really am, but I'm not getting very far. I've been…" I started but stopped when my throat started to clench. "I've been having the worst nightmares." I said and looked at him. "It just adds to the weight of knowing you're going to die. They are all centered around your death. I see it every time I go to sleep. Sometimes I get to save you. Sometimes it's not quite as bloody as the last one." I told him trying to keep myself from crying. "I'm trying to keep my head. I'm trying not to let it change everything. But it's hard." I said furrowing my brows. "I don't want to say goodbye and I don't want to be angry all the time. I just want to love you." I said finally breaking a smile. Dean furrowed his brows, pulling me against him. "I just want to love you."

"It'll be okay." He said kissing my hair. I shook my head, fighting back tears. "I love you." He said and smiled at me. I smiled back, putting my hands on the sides of his face. I kissed him deeply. "You know what I think?" He asked. I shook my head, kissing him again. "I think that when this is over we need a little us time. Just do something together."

"I would love that." I told him and kissed him again, pulling him against me.

He kissed me again before wrapping his arm around my waist. We went to help everyone else as we locked down the house. I was closing the shades when a figure outside caught my eye. I froze, my pulse starting to race. I heard something behind me. I turned to look and when I turned back to the window the figure was gone. I chose to ignore it. The last thing I needed was something else to go wrong.