A/N Lemony chapter warning... Disclaimer... Characters owned by SMeyer, I am now and forever completely owned by Edward Cullen!
Chapter Twelve. What I'm thinking
Jaspers POV
I lay in my bed thinking about yesterday, how Carlisle had given me the money to buy Alice a ring. I would have tried harder to refuse, but she really did deserve a decent ring and it would have taken me years to save up that much. Though I was still shocked that she had agreed to marry me, after all I had only asked her out the day before and here we were engaged. I'm not sorry, I'm totally elated, Alice is without question perfect for me. She's smart, beautiful, fun and she has a body to die for, all be it a fun-sized one. I had hoped for so long to sort out our family financial problems so that I could at least start to have some sort of social life and I had hoped that I had read the signs right and that Alice did actually like me. I had tried for so long to ignore my feelings for her, tried to concentrate on caring for my family. But she was around at the house such a lot as she's good friends with Rose and she was always around when I had football practice.
Imagining her in that cheerleader outfit had gotten me through many a frustrated long night. Thinking of her in that outfit now, reminded me of seeing it dis-guarded on the bathroom floor and that amazing shower we had together. How it had felt to hold her naked body against myself and kiss her like that, okay wrong thing to be thinking about right now. I so wanted to stick to the rules that Carlisle had set, it was after one AM now, curfew was two hours ago, but that was yesterday, or last nights curfew, so did it really still count? Or was today another day? He never really specified, he just said no one was allowed in anyone else's room after eleven.
Right now I was more than a little eager to be back by Alice's side, I wanted her badly, thinking about her in the shower was making me ravenous for her. Then I heard a light tap on the door and I could see a tiny silhouette in the dark.
"Can I come in?" Alice whispered from the dark.
"You are always welcome." I whispered and I heard the door slide over the rug as Alice pushed the door to close it a little, seconds later I felt her feeling her way onto the bed, I felt for her hands and guided her to me.
"I didn't think that you would want to break any rules and I was not done kissing you," she whispered sitting astride me. "Ooh you are pleased to see me aren't you?" She said as she straddled me sitting directly on my erection, just the idea of her being in my room had made me instantly hard for her, though having been thinking about her I was already well on my way to being at full attention.
"Yes, always... I was thinking about you..." I said but I never get to finish as she pushed me down on the bed and started to kiss me, her mouth eager on mine. At the same time she rolled her hips, causing unbelievable friction against my cock that was more than hungry for her. I felt it as it throbbed and more blood pumped into it, I had never been so hard.
I wasn't sure just how far she wanted to go, but right now I wanted her so badly that my desire for her was like a burning forest, consuming everything in its path. I ran my fingers up her back, under her top and she quivered at my touch. Slowly, clearly wondering if I was once again going too far. I pulled her top up and she moved her arms so that I could pull it over her head, finally breaking our kiss for a moment. I pulled her against my chest and rolled us both over so that I was lying on top of her and her kisses grew more eager. She pulled me against herself, wrapping her arms and legs securely around me. Her tongue slowly stroked mine, but then she began to suck on my tongue and that really was the most amazing feeling. It drove me wild and I found myself pushing down her pyjama bottoms before I realised what I was doing. I pulled away from her and kissed down her throat and continued down to her breasts, I cupped one of her breasts with one hand and teased her nipple with the tip of my tongue. My other hand was busy trying to push her pyjamas down over her butt, she lifted herself slightly to help, 'so' I thought, she wants me to continue, obviously that made me even more eager.
I was going to have to slow this down, or as eager as I was, this would be over before it began, but I released her breast and moved to pull off her pyjamas. Again she did not attempt to stop me, but once they were off she sat up and pushed me back down onto the bed then she proceeded to pull off my pyjama bottoms. Instead of climbing back on top of me, she forced my legs apart and knelt between them, she lowered herself down. I felt her fingers stroke along my length and I literally throbbed at her touch. I felt her lips kiss along my length, until she reached the head and she stroked her tongue over it. It felt like my eyes were ready to leap out of my head and I can honestly say I felt like I was going to explode. I'd never had to hold back before and I had no idea how to, but I was so turned on that I was much closer than she obviously realised. As it was my back arched and lifted off the bed as a groan came up my throat and my eyes rolled into the back of my head.
"Alice... Wait..." I finally managed to gasp out, but she slid her hand up to my chest to hold me down.
I fought back my urges as hard as I could as she closed her pretty little mouth over my cock and slid her lips up and down. In the dim light from the moon I could just about see her and the sight of her lips around me was beyond hot. I watched in awe as she stroked her tongue over the head each time she pull back. My head snapped back and I could not hold back my moan as I came down her throat, how many times had I imagined her doing this? Yet I just lay there, exhausted and quite unable to move, after a few moments Alice licked over the head of my cock making me gasp. I reached over and flicked on the small light on my nightstand, I noticed a box of condoms that I had not put there, Alice must have bought them in with her, well it was a bit late for them now.
She saw me looking at the box and she giggled at my expression, I looked up at her a little sheepishly, then she wiped her mouth with the back of her tiny wrist. She looked down at me with the biggest grin on her face and I had to smile back at her, I reached over and poured some water into a glass and handed it to her.
"Thank you." She said.
"No... thank you." I said.
"Oh, you are very, very welcome... it was my pleasure." She said and then she took a sip of water.
"I'm pretty sure that the pleasure was all mine." I said quite unable to fight back my smile in response to hers, I eyed the box of condoms again.
"For later." She said still smiling as she sipped more water.
"Later?" I asked and I felt my eyes widen.
"Yep, when you're up to it again, now I have taken away the urgency and the excitement, you should be able to last that much longer." She said then she grinned mischievously.
I snorted. "That's very experienced talk ma'am I take it you've done this sort of thing before." I questioned.
"Emmett's room is next to mine, I have overheard his porn films, plus I watch a lot of TV and I hear what the rest of the squad say. So I intend to find out if a lot of what I've learnt is true or not, apart from that... no basically I don't have a clue what I'm doing so you'll have to help me out or tell me if I'm doing something wrong." She speed whispered, but I think I caught all she'd said.
"Well, you have done nothing wrong so far." I assured her, "and you've got a lot more experience than I have." I said.
"After what you did in the shower I don't believe that for a second," she said smiling shyly.
"I was just going on instinct, though I have to admit I have seen a couple of Emm's films too." I admitted.
"You have not?" She wondered aloud.
"He was trying to get me to loosen up, not be so uptight all the time, so he lent me a few, I wasn't going to watch them, but curiosity got the better of me. Once you start watching those things, you're so shocked at what you see, you keep watching as you can't believe that its actually happening." I admitted.
"I think I saw him give them to you, I remember thinking that I could have given you a much more satisfying time." She said wryly. "So are you rested enough to kiss me now?" She asked as she slowly moved, trailing her hard nipples over my body as she came back to kiss my lips.
"Are you crazy?" I asked.
"Oh sorry, I guess I am a little over eager." She said.
I chuckled. "I meant, I want to do a lot more than just kiss you..." I didn't get to say any more, Alice had attached herself to me, I just squeezed her tight and rolled till I was on top of her again.
I wasn't sure how long it would take for me to get worked up enough again to make love to her. But once my tongue was in her mouth and she began rubbing against me again, it really wasn't very long at all. I slid my fingers between her legs and I was more than happy to find that she was already wet and her flesh was pulsing against my fingertips. I wanted badly to run my tongue over her to taste her, I started to kiss down her body to do so, but she stopped me.
"No." She said.
"But I want to." I almost sulked.
"But I want you more." She said as she reached over to the box on the nightstand and picked it up, then she tried and fail to reach the lamp to turn it off, I pulled her hand back, I wanted to see her when I made love to her.
"No you don't I want to see you." I informed her. "Are you sure about this Alice?" I asked her.
"I've never been more sure, I want you to make love to me Jasper." She said and I had to fight back the excited gasped that threatened to escape my lips at her words.
She fumbled with the box, she was having some trouble with it, she was starting to get frustrated and ripped it with her teeth. She pulled off the wrapper the took a condom from the box tearing it off easily, she put the box back on the nightstand and put the packet between her teeth. Alice started to sit up, then she pushed me backwards until I was kneeling on the bed, she ripped the condom from the packet with her teeth. Keeping her eyes on mine, she grasped hold of my cock, which was throbbing excitedly in anticipation and gingerly she rolled the condom down on me, she climbed up on my legs, put her arms around my neck and pressed her luscious lips to mine, then slowly she began to lower herself down. I teased my fingers between her legs, to make certain that she was wet enough, it pleased me so much that she was, how could I have been so lucky? I guided my cock in the right direction.
As I began to slide inside of her, the sensations that were coursing through me were beyond comparison, she was far beyond anything I could have imagined and now I was about to make love to her. I lifted her up and lowered her onto the bed, I could feel every part of her as I began to move inside of her, but despite all these feelings this was the part I was dreading. I was truly terrified of hurting her. I knew this was going to hurt her, but worse possibly because it was me. She was such a tiny thing and I was, well I had big hands and feet for a reason and I was really too big for her tiny body.
"Are you sure?" I whispered against her lips.
"Yes." She gasped.
So as carefully as was possible, I pushed deep inside of her, it ripped through me like a knife when she cried out in pain and I stopped immediately frightened to move. She pulled her hips back and I thought that she was trying to pull away from me, so slowly I started to pull out. Alice grabbed hold of me and dug her nails into my back as she pushed herself back against me, I tried to pull away enough to see her face but she clung onto me like a limpet on a rock.
"Unless I actually say the words 'get out,' you do not have permission to stop, okay?" She informed me.
"Whatever you say ma'am." I said and I pulled her tighter against me and I thrusted deep inside her again, it was pure heaven.
It was not long before she was breathing more evenly and her breaths were more hot and heavy rather than the 'I can get through this,' breathing through her teeth and we found our rhythm. Slow and sensual, no longer so eager for release I could just concentrate on the way it felt to be inside of her. Neither of us spoke, just revelling in our one-ness, our kisses were deep and I lost myself in the taste and feel of this fantastic woman in my arms, I had never felt so complete. Time stood still as I felt my stomach muscles tighten.
"I need you to come for me baby." I whispered in her ear.
"I... I don't know how." She admitted her face fearful.
"You've never..?" I didn't finish, the embarrassment on her face spoke more than any words could.
I slid my hand down between us, our bodies damp with sweat, I stroked slowly around her clit, watching her face for her reaction and I continued to thrust into her tightness.
"Oh... dear.. god!" She gasped out and she grasped my arms and I could feel her nails dig painfully into my skin. "Oh...J..J..Jasper, oh...god, yes." She gasped, her face was so beautiful as I felt her tighten around me, squeezing me impossibly tighter, bringing forth my own orgasm, we gasped and shuddered together.
~F~
The following morning I opened my eyes and saw Alice's beautiful face just inches from mine. She stroked my cheek then ran her hand down my neck and over my shoulder then her eyebrows pulled together and she sat up and tried to pull me forward, but I froze.
"What is that?" She asked.
I closed my eyes and sighed, I didn't want her to see, she'd be revolted. "No, please don't Alice." I begged.
"What is it?" She demanded, I opened my eyes and she was glaring at me.
"I.. I have some scars." I admitted.
"Some?" She asked alarmed. "From what?" She demanded forcibly pulling me towards her, so that she could see my back, for such a tiny thing she was amazingly strong.
Then she gasped in horror... I backed away from her and leant my back against the head board, terrified of her rejection. "I'm sorry I should have... said... I.. I am sorry Alice." I said ashamed of my disfigured back, as much as I was of myself for not warning her.
"What are you talking about?" She asked, her expression looked confused.
"You're revolted by me." I almost gagged on the words. "I should have warned you."
She threw her arms around me, "I'd never be revolted by you," she almost cried into my neck. "But why are you covered in bite scars?"
"You're not?" I asked.
"Of course not silly, it was just a shock that's all, but how and why?" She asked.
"When we were about eight or nine we were chased by a dog, it went to attack Rose and Bell, so I jumped on top of them to shield them and the dog attacked me instead." I explained.
"Oh, Jasper." She cried into my neck. "You must have been ripped to pieces and now you're scarred for life." She cried.
"I was, but at least my sisters were saved, Bella was only about seven at the time and she's still frightened of big dogs." I said. "I really am sorry that I didn't tell you, my back is such a mess and I don't normally allow anyone to see it." I told her.
"But Edward and Emmett must have seen it though," she said.
"Yeah, can't hide it well in the showers, but guys think scars are cool... well those that don't have to live with them do." I said.
"But they knew how I felt about you, how come they never said?" She asked.
"Guys don't tell, well mates don't." I said.
She paused for a long time. "Well... I..." She started to say, then she blushed. "Jasper, did you ever wonder why I had that professional cover up make up, like the one I gave Bella?" She asked.
"It did cross my mind at the time, you are far too beautiful to need make up." I said.
She took a deep breath and looked at me nervously.
"I have never told anyone about this, not even Rose, only Mom, Dad, Emm and Edward know." She tried to say, she still had tears in her eyes, I wiped them away with my fingertips but more flooded out.
"What is it Alice? You can tell me anything." I told her.
"Just... please, its not nice you see... and I really hope that you don't want to call off the engagement and dump me after seeing it." She said, more tears fell down her lovely face which was now twisted in fear, it was making my eyes well up too at the sight of her fear.
"Whatever it is Alice, I love you, that will never change, no matter what." I told her.
"I hope you're right," she said, her lower lip was trembling.
I took her tiny face in my hands, she seemed so tiny, so fragile, I was almost shaking in fear of her fear. I could never not love her no matter what, I wiped away her fresh tears with my thumbs. "Whatever it is Alice you don't have to tell me or show me anything until you want to, but it really is not possible for me to stop loving you. You have made me the happiest man alive by agreeing to marry me. Last night you gave me the best night of my life, you mean everything to me Alice and nothing can ever change that." I said.
"But you thought I wouldn't love you anymore when I saw your scars didn't you?" She accused.
I sighed, didn't she realise the difference? "Yes, but that's me... you are worth one hundred million of me." I pointed out.
"You're wrong." She said simply. I shook my head at her, but she moved away from me and pulled down her pyjama bottoms, she covered herself to give herself some dignity and lifted her leg.
"It's a birthmark," she said, across the top of the inside of her leg was a red mark that covered abou inches of her pale skin.
I looked at her face, she was waiting for my reaction. "This is why you wouldn't let me go down on you last night isn't it?" I accused, she nodded nervously and put her pyjamas back on, "Hey I wasn't done looking." I complained.
"You have seen more than enough." She said still tearful.
"You are going to have to get used to it, I'm going to be down there a lot from now on." I informed her grinning. I was relieved, I had thought at the time that she didn't like it or something. I was more than happy that I would be able to go down on her from now on. My morning wood, which had gone back to sleep during our discussion was now waking back up with a vengeance, more than a little excited at the idea of doing it right now.
I took her face in my hands again. "Like I said, I love you and right now your cheeks are a more brilliant red than your birthmark and besides..." I said dropping one hand and trying to push down her pyjamas, I think it looks kind of sexy." I said, as I leant down to kiss it.
"Jasper, don't." She objected.
"Give me one good reason not to." I said nuzzling my face between her legs, she had them clenched tight together.
"Jasper!" She shrieked. "I need a shower... at least let me get cleaned up."
"I can do that." I said, grabbing hold of her and pulling her to me, she tried to beat me off with the pillow, but I was very determined.
Then we heard someone in the hallway and as I looked up, Alice threw herself off the bed and lay hidden from sight on the floor, Carlisle looked around the door and chuckled.
"Good morning Jasper." He said.
I coughed to clear my throat, "um.. morning Carlisle." I said.
He started to pull the door closed, but stopped and said. "Good morning Alice." Then he closed the door.
I looked down at Alice, her eyes were as wide as mine, I pulled her back onto the bed.
"Now where was I?" I asked.
Then she began to wrestle me, it made me happy to hear her giggling, she was happy again, I was ecstatic to win the wrestling match and I became more than a little familiar with her birthmark.
~F~
After breakfast I walked up stairs holding Alice's hand, we walked slowly, still in shock about what had just happened, because no one had listened to the curfew rules. Carlisle and Esme had agreed that as we were engaged and obviously determined to be together that I could move in to Alice's room permanently. I tried to think only of the plus side of this and not think about the fact that my sisters were moving in with their fiancées too. Alice practically skipped into my room and started picking up my things, she seemed as eager for this move as I was, I carried the boxes of my belongings into her room.
"Where do you want these to go Alice?" I asked.
"You can put them wherever you like, but until you unpack the boxes can go in my closet." She said.
I walked into her closet and gasped, it was bigger than the room I was moving out of, it even had a vanity unit, which seemed a little redundant as the closet was right next to the en-suit bathroom, which itself was as big as this closet.
"Are you sure there is enough room in here for my stuff?" I asked her as she danced into the closet and reached up to put her arms around my neck, I lifted her up and she wrapped herself around me.
"Not really, I guess I am going to have to sort through and see what I can bare to part with, so I can make some room." She said with a pout.
I guess it can stay in boxes then." I said.
"Jasper, in just over two months time you will be my husband, you will have a lot more clothes by then and this is our room now. So you can put your things where you want them, though, you have to remember that this is my domain and I have complete control over this closet." She said.
"Yes ma'am whatever you say ma'am." I said lifting her up higher to kiss her throat.
"If I continue up the stairs will I find you doing something you shouldn't be doing or something you should?" Esme called.
Alice giggled at my worried expression and I lowered her to the floor.
"Can I have a quick word with you two?" Esme asked as she walked into the closet.
"What's up, Mom?" Alice asked.
"Well firstly I would like to say that not including last nights activities. Jasper you are the most mature young adult I have ever met and having seen for myself the excellent job you have done looking after your sisters I know that you will take good care of my baby girl. But... I would just like to say, please be extra careful and take precautions, you are both still young and we want you to have fun and enjoy being young. What I'm trying to say is, you don't want to have to grow up fast because you have a family on the way, so please take precautions so that that doesn't happen until you have lived and had fun for a few years okay." Esme said blushing.
"Mom!" Alice complained.
"No Alice, your Mom has every right and Esme, I wouldn't dream of it, at least not until I can provide Alice with everything she deserves and only then when she is good and ready to start a family." I said.
Alice stood staring at me with her lips slightly parted and my groin had a very different idea, I couldn't even look at her without getting excited.
"What?" I asked.
"You sound as if you'd given it some thought." She said.
"And that's my cue to go." Esme said smiling as she left the room.
"Well?" Alice asked.
"I guess I have." I admitted.
"When?" She asked me.
"Alice, I have been in love with you for months, I have had a lot of time to think about a lot of things, are you saying you haven't thought about it, or don't you want children?"
"I have to admit I was more committed to thinking about the practising with the making them part, but of course I want children, well yours I do. But not until we are both ready," she said. "When you have been traded from the Seahawks to the Giants and we have a penthouse in Manhattan and I have my own design studio obviously."
"You'd move that far from the rest of the family?" I asked surprised.
"Don't be silly, Emm and Edward would be in the Giants too, Rose will be my partner and what better place for Bella to write? Plus Mom would get more work there too. So I guess you could say I have thought a little about the future." She said smiling.
"Yeah, just a little." I said picking her up and kissing along her jaw. "I'm glad you have such faith in me." I said.
"Why wouldn't I, I am engaged to the future MVP, hall of fame, multi superbowl winning running back of the century." She said making me chuckle, she sounded so proud of my imagined glory.
~F~
After lunch we all piled into Emm's Jeep and he drove us to practice, Alice sat on my lap and rested her head on my shoulder. She had a beautiful smile on her face, I saw that Rose was gazing lovingly into Emmett's eyes and the way he was looking back at her, it was obvious that they were very much in love. Then I gazed at my baby sister and despite all that she had been through, all the pain, the stress and the fear, it was hard to believe any of it looking at her face. I knew that it was only make up that disguised her bruised face, but her face was actually alight with happiness, something I had not seen in many years. I knew that Edward would take care of her, he had more than proved how protective he was of her on Friday and I knew that I could trust him, even though he was not yet eighteen. He was very mature for his years and he had more than enough talent to get a good, well paid job, so that he could take care of her and give her everything she deserves.
I kissed Alice before she left to go and practice, pulling Bells away from Edward to go with her. Now I just had to get my head in the game and practice hard, as Carlisle had said this morning, this game was a very important one. I could get a scholarship out of it, though the only college I would want to go to would have to be in the University of Washington. The Huskies were a great team to play for and I wanted to be in Seattle, so that I would still be close to Alice. Anywhere else would be too far away from my Alice and as I had only just got her I was not ready to give her up, not that I would ever be ready for that not even in forty years let alone in forty days.
Practice was going well and despite the fact that I kept looking over to check on the girls I still missed the start of the fight that broke out. Hearing my sisters scream was something I was unfortunately all too familiar with and I raced to her when I heard it. Despite my speed, Edward was there before me, he took her from Rose's arms as she collapsed in obvious agony. Why her? Why did it always have to be Bells? It was as if some unseen evil followed her and people took it out on her, but as soon as I saw that Jessica was the attacker, I knew instantly what had caused it. Everyone knew that Jessica was Edwards stalker, I had had to protect him from her a time or two myself, she was crazy and she was taking it out on my sister. I could have punched her I the face myself, it pleased me no end when Rose must have felt my feelings and punched Jessica in the face. The sound of her nose cracking actually helped calm my anger some, as we all turned to follow Ed as he carried Bells to the Jeep.
At the hospital Bells was sedated because of the pain and Carlisle insisted that we all go home. It shocked me, though it shouldn't have when Edward almost growled at his own father, he would not be separated from Bella, no matter what Carlisle said. Rose and I went to the police, Alice and Emm came with us. Later we were joined by Carlisle and his lawyer, we managed to have a restraining order place on Jessica, to keep her away from Bella and Edward. Assault charges were also up on her, the police went and photographed Bella's injuries, which Carlisle oversaw and obviously he gave a full account of her new injuries.
Once we got home I threw myself onto the bed frustrated, I was so angry at myself for Bells getting hurt again, I couldn't think straight. I had had trouble holding it together at the precinct, I was angry at Edward for being the reason Jessica had attacked her. For allowing it to happen, even though I knew it wasn't his fault I was still angry, I was angry at Rose for being so close and not preventing it, I was even a little angry at Alice for the same reason. I hated myself for it, the anger at everyone was eating away at me, because I was mostly angry at myself.
Alice pushed me over onto my back and sat astride me. "Stop it." She said, pinning my arms over my head and staring into my eyes.
"What?" I asked, though I knew what she meant.
"Stop beating yourself up, this is Jess's fault and no one else's okay? So stop beating yourself up, no one else is to blame but Jessica." She said.
I sighed. "Will I ever get away with anything with you? Or are you always going to know exactly what I'm thinking?" I asked her.
"Always... but I will tell you what you should be thinking." She said and I raised my eyebrows curious, "You should be thinking... have I got time to have Alice against the wall, on the sofa and in the shower before the game starts on TV?" She said, so most other thoughts completely slipped my mind for a few hours.
~F~
At school the following day, Jessica was only allowed to attend as Ed and Bells would not be returning to class. She had been kicked off the squad, by the entire squad and she would be required to find an alternative school for next year. Plus she obviously would not be allowed at the game on Friday either, or the prom.
Other than the comments about my new girlfriend and Rose's new boyfriend there wasn't much gossip. Though as most of the schools gossip usually came from Jessica, it was quiet as she was pretty much under permanent detention for fighting on school property.
So school was relatively quiet and football practice without Edward was mostly a waste of time. The back up quarterback didn't have Ed's throwing power, so Emm and I didn't even bother going to practice after school.
We all felt a little better when Carlisle bought Edward and Bella home Monday night, Bella was still being sedated but he wanted them home as much as we all did. Edward was a bit of a state, he hadn't left her once in all that time and it was obvious that he hadn't slept, but he insisted on staying with her even though we offered to watch over her. He would not leave her side, I could see that he was blaming himself for this and that that guilt was eating away at him, just as it had with me.
"This is not your fault Edward." I said, before I left the room when I went to check on them, he managed a small smile, but I could see the pain in his eyes. "I mean it Edward, I know only too well how easy it is to blame yourself. We were all there and none of us are to blame, so concentrate on how we can make life better for her and not on what has happened okay?" I said, I hope I got through, just a little.
The following day went pretty much the same way, though my legs felt weak yesterday and they were even worse today after making love to Alice all night again. Apparently she was having much the same problem, so reluctantly we agreed to hold off for a few days, at least until after the game on Friday. She assured me that she was intending to ride me for the entire engagement weekend to make up for it, so that would probably keep me smiling until then.
A/N Hope you enjoyed my little insight to the world of the wonderful Jasper :)
Plz let me know what you think and what you think should happen at the 'PARTY' I need some ideas peeps...