So here as promised, much, much faster than I though possible... I must really love you guys :)
Chapter Sixteen.
Esme's POV
The last month had been so stressful on my family, but I was just so proud of them all, they had acted beyond their years in organising everything. The maturity of them all was more than I could have expected, so I wasn't even slightly worried about leaving them to go to Seattle with Izzi. Carlisle had his doubts, but I knew if they had any problems we were only four hours away. The way they had all come out today to see their tiny sister off was humbling, they all wanted to be here and it warmed my heart to see how much they all cared. The waiting for the hospital to sort out paperwork was taking longer that we expected and I could see the wait was beginning to show on them. Bella in particular looked a little worse for wear, though she tried to shrug it off, I could see she wasn't herself today.
As I watched Bella suddenly took off running for the restroom, her hand over her mouth. The others stared at each other for a moment before Edward, Rose and Alice took off after her, but Edward had to wait at the door. It was several minutes before Bella came out, she was ghostly pale. Edward tried to put his arms around her but she struggled free, he looked at me lost and confused, rejection was something he was unfamiliar with especially where Bella was concerned. I placed my hand on her shoulder and she flinched away from me, her eyes were glazed over, it was as if it wasn't even our sweet Bella. Edward tried again to comfort her but her discomfort grew worse and she screamed, almost like he had hurt her, if I hadn't have been so close I might have thought he had, but he barely touched her. Jasper and Rose tried to stop her as she desperately tried to run from us, Jasper literally had to encase her in his arms as she struggled and screamed to free herself, she began to gasp and then she collapsed in his arms.
Edward was frantic and began yelling at everyone demanding to know exactly what happened in the restroom. Aside from being sick and then going into shock, neither Rose or Alice had any clue. Half an hour later Carlisle had Bella hooked up to a heart monitor and on a drip but she was still out cold, so blood test and urine samples were taken. I had to go to Carlisle's office with Edward, he was beside himself with worry, Rose was sitting with Bella and he was desperate to get back to her.
"Edward please try and calm down," I said as he pace around Carlisle's desk wearing a trail into the carpet
"Why did she act like that, Mom? I don't understand, she hasn't taken anything, yet she acted like she was space out or something, like she didn't even know who I was." He said close to tears.
"She's been through so much Edward, maybe its all just caught up with her, her past and now the wedding and Izzi. Its been hard on everyone and she has tried to take on so much when she was supposed to be in recovery herself. It might just be her body catching up and her brain has just shut down to protect itself, only time will tell, but if you need me to stay then of course I will." I said, Carlisle would have to go alone to Seattle I had to stay with Edward, he was close to breakdown himself.
"I don't know what to do Mom." He sobbed as I wrapped my arms around him, he always was the sensitive one. Always thinking about others, he had grown so close to Bella in such a short time and I had my worries too. Though they complimented each other so perfectly I couldn't argue with the fact that they were perfect for each other, they belonged together.
"Lets go see if they have some news for us, she may even be awake by now." I said trying to tame is unruly hair, he had been pulling on it constantly in his frustration. He nodded and we made our way to the room that Bella was in.
Before we were half way along the hallway we could hear voice's from Bella's room.
"She's awake." Edward said and took off running, as he approached the doorway I was shocked to hear Rosalie shouting at Bella.
"What the hell Bella? I thought I taught you better than this, why in hell did you not take precautions? You're pregnant? How the fuck did that happen?" Rose yelled.
The panic on Edwards face was easy to read, he was scared and without doubt angry at himself, I opened my arms and encouraged him to come to me, he ran into my arms. "I swear we were safe, I swear Mom." He pleaded.
"Accidents happen, Edward, but whatever happens now we will get through this together.
"She's going to hate me." He sobbed.
"I doubt that Bella knows how to hate and she is far too much in love with you to think of you that way. Come on lets go find your father, see if we can't get everyone together so we can reassure Bella that whatever the two of you decide to do, we will all support your decision." I said.
After twenty minutes I finally got everyone to Carlisle's office, Jasper and Rosalie were the last to come in, Jasper was furious and Carlisle's voice was the only one that got through to him.
"I know what you are thinking Jasper, but if Edward says they took precautions I have no reason to doubt him, accidents do happen. We will sort this out as a family and whatever they decide to do, they will have the support of all of us." Carlisle said to him. "So what has she said?" Carlisle asked.
"Nothing yet, she didn't say one word, but the nurses asked us to leave, because she was getting upset." Jasper said.
"What the fuck did you say to her, to upset her?" Edward yelled.
"Edward, language." Carlisle cautioned.
"I told her I was taking her to Seattle to get an abortion." Jasper spat back at Edward.
Edward didn't stop to answer his only thoughts were for Bella, she would never agree to that and I had no doubt that she would be beside herself with worry. I sighed and although I had to take a much slower pace I followed after Edward, the others followed me, Carlisle's hand found mine as the others rushed on ahead.
"Looks like we won't be going to Seattle any time soon, I will arrange for the equipment and the specialist to come here instead, those two are going to need us now more than ever." He said, as we stepped into the elevator.
"Thank you." I said kissing his cheek, I loved this man beyond anything but the love I had for my children preceded everything else, he lifted my hand and kissed it.
As we stepped out of the elevator Alice came running straight to us, in floods of tears.
"Alice what's happened?" Carlisle asked wrapping his arms around her.
"S-sh-she's g-g-gone." She sobbed.
Emmett came running towards us. "Have you seen her?" He asked.
"Who? What's going on?" I asked.
"It's Bella, she's gone, her clothes are gone and she's left her cell and her engagement ring." He said.
"Where's Edward?" Carlisle asked.
"Tearing the hospital apart looking for her." Emmett said and Carlisle rushed to the telephone at the nurses station.
~F~
After two and a half hours the entire hospital had been searched as well as the surrounding parking lot. There was no sign of Bella anywhere, no one had seen her leave. Emmett, Jasper and Edward were off in their cars driving around for some sign of her. Rose and Alice had been home to see if she had been there, but it was as if she was a ghost, no sign of her anywhere. Carlisle had managed to convince the police chief to not wait the customary twenty four hours before reporting her as a missing person and the police were already checking cab and bus companies. Rose had bought a few pictures from home and Carlisle had copied the one that Edward had of Bella in his wallet, he couldn't face letting them keep it.
Throughout the search I watched Edward for signs that he wasn't coping but his determination to find her was winning through so far. I just had to hope that she hadn't gotten to far and that someone found her soon, that poor, poor child must have been so desperate to do this. She loved her family but the way she felt for Edward seemed to even surpass the love I had for Carlisle at that age, all-consuming. For her to run, she must be in so much pain, so scared, I truly wish she had come to me, the one time she really needed me to be a mother to her and I was not there for her, oh if only.
That night Carlisle stayed at the hospital, it was three in the morning and I had managed to get Emmett to bring Rose home, Alice was exhausted after phoning almost everyone in Forks. Jasper and Edward were spending the night in the car in Port Angeles, they had been scouring the streets and had stopped for a few hours to get some rest before they started again at day break.
"Go and get your heads down for a few hours guys, we can start fresh in the morning, but you'll be no good to anyone if you don't get some sleep." I warned them, grudgingly they all went off to bed, though like myself I very much doubted that anyone got much sleep. Lord only knows where that poor child has had to spend the night, she was in my prayers more than ever tonight.
After three days of little to no sleep or food I managed to get Emmett and Carlisle to bring Edward and Jasper home, they were both completely broken. Just the sight of them broke my heart, we had no news, no sign or anything, sweet lord watch over our girl and send her home.
After an entire week of emotional hell, the kids had finally stopped blaming each other, the worst arguments I'd ever seen, but it needed to happen. Now at least they were back working as a team and finally we had a lead, someone fitting Bella's description had been seen in a bus depot in Portland. The police were busy searching through camera footage from the area to see if they can get a clue to where she might have gone. Finally a little hope to hang on to. For the next few days Carlisle took Rose, Edward and Jasper to stay in Portland, to walk the streets with pictures of Bella to canvas passers-by.
As much as I worried about all my children, right now Edward was my biggest concern, he had lost a lot of weight already and as each day passed he seemed to slip further and further into the depths of despair. I couldn't even imagine the state Bella would be in but I doubted she'd be much different from Edward. But worse, she was lost and alone and it tore my heart out to see their hearts so broken. Jasper too was losing weight, he blamed himself entirely for what happened and he was close to breaking down, only Alice seemed to have any influence on calming him down.
After days turned to a week Carlisle returned home with three very dejected kids, that's what they were again just lost children. More weeks passed and besides the fact that Bella had taken a greyhound heading towards California, that was where the trail ended. Weeks passed, Edward and Alice's birthday remained uncelebrated, neither of them wanting to think about it, all wedding plans forgotten and they were all just existing rather than living anymore. When the time came for Emmett, Rose and Jasper to move to Seattle, we bought them a place just off campus so they could be together, Jasper and Alice were going to struggle, but he would come home at the weekends to be with her. Alice and Edward went back to school, but honestly they were more like robots, just going through the motions, I could barely look at them without crying these days. It was as if Bella was the glue that held this family together and without her we all seemed to be falling apart.
~F~
Its now been three months since Izzie was born and finally she is well enough to come home, she is so much like Alice was, beautiful and always happy. Though the little tufts of hair are just the same bronze as Edwards and she has his eyes too, the only time he ever smiles anymore is when he is with her. I have tried and tried to get him to talk to me, but he barely speaks to anyone, just answering if asked a direct question, its as if his heart and soul are gone, which is probably exactly what he feels like.
The months that followed involved us taking off at the weekends and canvassing every town and city between here and LA. We had not had even the slightest whisper of a sign, it was almost as if she had never existed. Each weekend our hopes of finding Bella were crushed that little bit more. It took everything in me not to give up hope, or at least not to let my kids give up on hope. I couldn't, none of us could think that way it was too painful, the only bright side was that she had not shown up in a morgue somewhere. Despite all my hopes Bella had not come back home on her own and the police involvement was minimal now that her disappearance had hit the six months marker. We were all shadows of our former selves and eventually Emmett and Rosalie had stopped coming home at the weekend. Jasper was still coming home but only spent the weekend in his room with Alice.
Edward was finding it harder and harder to get through the day and despite his resistance Carlisle had finally convinced him to take something to help him sleep at night. That didn't stop him from waking up screaming every night. He wasn't playing football anymore, didn't socialize with anyone, it killed me to watch him deteriorate day by day. One afternoon when I was collecting laundry I was at the top of the stairs and I paused before going down. I could hear a guitar, something I hadn't heard in a very long time, I walked back along the hallway to Edwards room and listened as he began to sing.
I was tied but now unbound
My head is off the ground
For a long time I was so weary
Tired of the sound, I've heard before
The gnawing of the night time at the door
Haunted by the things I've made
Stuck between the burning light and the dusty shade
Said I used to think the past was dead and gone
But I was wrong, so wrong
Whatever makes you blind must make you strong, make you strong
In my time I've melted into many forms
From the day that I was born, I know that there is no place to hide
Stuck between the burning shade and the fading light
I was broken for a long time
But it's over now
Said I was broken for a long time
But it's over now
Yes and you,
yeah well you walk these lonely streets that people send, people send
There are some wounds that just can't mend
And I do pretend
Now I'm free from all the things that take my friends
And I will stand here till the end
Now I know I can take the moon
Stuck between the burning shade and the faded light
And I was broken for a long time
But it's over now, it's over now
Mm it's over now, now, now
It's over now, it's over now.
It's over now, now
I heard the guitar drop to the floor and couldn't stop myself from walking into his room, he sat on his bed with his head in his hands, I sat next to him and wrapped my arms around him. I couldn't speak, my own tears were choking me, as I held on to my poor broken boy.
A/N If you didn't recognize it the song was 'I was broken' by the ever yummy Mr Pattinson (we are not worthy... we are not worthy)
Next chapter is Bella's POV.
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