My precious love, you have no idea
How much damage a heart can do.

I watch vacantly as Adrienne and Remus sit together at a booth in The Three Broomsticks. Adrienne had straightened her hair, though I prefer it natural, and was wearing a small bit of makeup around her eyes. It looks nice, but just as pretty as when she doesn't wear any. They're laughing and joking, but I notice how her eyes occasionally flit to me. I let out a small 'hmph' and turn back to James, who I'm sitting with at the bar.

"You're upset," James observes sagely, drinking from his butterbeer. I shrug, sipping my own. "Don't be. Remus is a good, nice guy, but he's eventually going to feel too guilty about his 'furry little problem'."

I sigh, running a hand through my dark hair. "I do want Moony to be happy, just . . . not with her."

"Why not?" James' eyes glitter with curiosity.

We're interrupted by Lily, who walks up holding a bag from Honeyduke's. "Hey guys," she says, smiling. "Don't Remus and Adrienne look sweet together?"

"Yeah," James agrees immediately. "Yeah, they do." He's probably not lying. "Right Sirius?" His hazel eyes meet mine knowingly.

"Yeah," I force out, throat constricting.

Lily, however, is not dumb. She looks at me oddly, hint of a smile on her face. "Glad you agree."

I can feel my face tinge red, so I duck my head down and chug the rest of my butterbeer. It feels as if the liquid catches on the lump in my throat, causing me to burst into a fit of strangled coughing. James pounds my back with his fist, chuckling, while Lily is barely hiding her giggles.

Once I get my breathing under control, I groan and put my head in my hands. This girl is driving me insane. She's so confusing. Just then, the devil herself shows up. And by devil, I mean blonde bombshell, Kaitlyn Rogers. She used to be innocent. She's still nice and sweet, but it's just that you never know where you stand. I have no idea what happened, but one day in fourth year she strutted into History of Magic in just her skirt and shirt, feet tucked into tall black heels. Makeup was skillfully painted onto her face and her hair was straight, blonde, and up in a bright ribbon. It was like an overnight transformation.

"Hey, Sirius, Lily, James," she says, smiling a sweet smile. Kaitlyn had been the only girl that Sirius had dated because he actually liked her personality. This was about halfway into fourth year. It had gone great and lasted about four months, but for reasons unknown she'd dumped him and moved on to Aaron Singer. Cuts deep.

I lift my head up, my silvery eyes surveying her hazel ones, almost identical to James'. "What do you need, Kaitlyn?

"I just wanted to talk, maybe catch up a bit. How does that sound?"

"Alright, I guess," I say, shrugging and standing up.

"Awesome. Is it alright if I take him away for a bit, you two?"

"Sure, no problem," James says, smiling.

"Perfectly fine," Lily agrees.

Kaitlyn starts to walk outside, glancing over her shoulder at me. I sigh, shooting a glare at Lily and James, then standing and following her out. She leads me over to a bench, sitting down. I hesitantly sit next to her. "I know you fancy Adrienne," she says.

"What? No, I don't. That's ridiculous."

"Come on, Sirius, anyone with a good set of eyes can tell that you do. I should know, anyway."

I swallow, looking ahead toward Zonko's. She's right, of course. She would know better than anyone how it looks when I actually like a girl. She was the first to find out. "Why'd you end it?" I ask after a few minutes of heavy silence.

"What?"

"In fourth year." For once, she looks uncomfortable. "I thought we were- . . . I thought we were doing well."

"We were," she agrees softly.

"Then what happened?"

". . . Aaron Singer's parents are good friends of my family. They wanted us together. They pressured both of us into it. Every Christmas they'd tell us we'd be the perfect couple. I thought that . . . I thought that if I finally just went out with him it'd end, but it didn't. We broke up the summer before fifth year, and I didn't want to try to talk to you again because I thought you hated me."

"I didn't," I reply. "I was just confused."

"I'm sorry. I know you really want to be with Adrienne though, and I'm sorry about how Remus is upsetting you."

"How do you know that?" I ask sharply.

A small smile plays on her lips. "There are some people who could hear you speak a thousand words and not understand you, but there are others who will understand you without you even speaking a word."

"How poetic of you," I tease, smiling. I catch myself though, quickly dropping the happy gesture. I'm acting like it's fourth year again. I don't think I ever got over this girl.

She notices this, her smile growing slightly. "I have to go meet up with Cassie at Honeyduke's. I hope the rest of your day goes well."

"Yours too."

She gives me a brief hug and walks down the street. My smile grows back like a blossoming flower as I head back to The Three Broomsticks. When I sit down, James looks at me oddly. "What did she want?"

"Just to talk," I say.

"About?" Lily asks.

"A few things."

We head back to the castle together, since Adrienne and Remus had gone on a walk and Peter had somehow tricked a poor first year into going with him. As I walked, I allowed myself to drift back a bit behind them, leaving me lost in my own thoughts. Memories of fourth year bombard me like raindrops, which from the looks of the sky, are about to fall anyway. The clouds hang low and gray, as if they're sad for me. However, remembering fourth year cheers me up. Kaitlyn and I were happy together. We weren't insanely serious or anything – we didn't snog in hallways or pass bases. It was an innocent, sweet relationship. We'd hold hands and hug often and I'd kiss her cheek sometimes. She's play with my hair and I'd play with hers while we talked about nothing in the common room by the fire. I'd lie if I said I didn't miss it. Being known as the 'school player' gets tiring.

Adrienne seems extremely occupied with Remus, and I doubt she'll come off of her high anytime soon. I expect she'll want me to stay her friend. I want that as well, of course. Well, at least. After telling me a secret like that, I want to be there for her. Especially for the sake of her emotional stability. Some girls can get a bit crazy. I don't think Adrienne's that bad, though.

Once we're in the castle, I head to the library to get a Charms essay done. I sit at one of the tables nearly hidden by bookshelves, pulling parchment, a quill, ink, and my textbook from my bag, yawning and beginning to write, the sound of my quill scratching and my fingers turning pages filling my head.