The song for this chapter is "Weight of My Words" by Kings of Convenience youtu*be/AvyQlSTPMbk We also make a brief mention of "Faithfully" by Journey youtu*be/Hw-fbiDVc0s Here is the pictease: goo*gl/cJH7B Also, be sure to check out Discordia's Tumblr page. There are several more pictures of all the locations mentioned and here is a cool slideshow of everything, as well: plus*google*com/u/0/photos/108051588223162936827/albums/5860531867389634753
Warning: This chapter is going to end on an angsty note. Just remember we promise a HEA with Edward and Bella ending up together.
Major shout out to LJ Summers and jakeward for betaing this chapter in just three days for us. Thanks to Karenec for being on the team up until this point. We will miss your snark. And everyone say a little prayer for AshesAshes. She had temporary internet issues so had to sit this round out. We honestly couldn't do this story without their mad editorial skills and we appreciate all their hard work.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter Thirty-Two: Perception
In the morning, I awoke to Edward sitting next to me on the bed. I smoothed the hair away from my face, and he peppered soft kisses on my lips. "Morning, sweetheart," he said.
"Mmm, morning." I stretched and reached to tug him towards me until he fell onto the bed. He was still in his pajamas so I gripped the front of his T-shirt with one hand and slid another underneath the hem to feel the warm, bare skin of his back. "How did you sleep?"
"Never better," he said.
I nodded. "Me, too."
I kissed my way up his neck, jaw, and cheek, avoiding his lips only because I needed to brush my teeth. Humming contentedly, he slid a hand into my hair and pressed his lips to my forehead.
"I made you breakfast."
"You really are incredible." I laughed and kissed a spot just beside his ear that made him groan. "Let me have a moment in the bathroom to brush my teeth and I'll be ready for breakfast."
"Okay."
A few minutes in the bathroom made me presentable and I returned to the bedroom to find Edward holding a tray of food. We propped ourselves up against the headboard and ate. He'd made vegetable filled omelets and I loved every bite.
After we showered and dressed, we headed to St. Helena to the V. Sattui Winery. It was probably the number one tourist attraction in the area, featuring wines from all the local vineyards. We toured the grounds and made our way inside to the gift shop and deli. Every wall was stacked high with various cutlery, glasses, and souvenir items, along with the impressive cold deli, featuring more varieties of cheese then I could count. We tasted a few of each along with the different dipping sauces before heading into the tasting room.
We sided up to the bar and started reading through the wine list of what they had to offer. We selected six wines, one from each of the groupings listed on the menu and each chose a favorite. We'd already discussed the various places we'd like to visit and I decided that I'd purchase a bottle from each as a memento.
When I went to check out at the register after our tasting, I noticed Edward had wandered back to talk to the wine tender who had helped us. I eyed them for a moment and then noticed the woman hand him something small from behind the bar but I didn't think much of it. After making my purchase, I met up again with Edward and we went on back to the car.
We drove through St. Helena and I admired all the shops downtown as we made our way to the Rhine house at Beringer Vineyards. There were antique stores and small cafés all throughout the main strip and each of the store windows were lit up with tiny twinkle lights, giving the town a quaint, uniform look. As we pulled into the driveway of Beringer Vineyards, we were awed by the ornate Victorian seventeen-room mansion nestled behind an enormous Valley Oak.
Edward parked the car and we made our way into the Visitors Center. The hostess greeted us and gave us a brief introduction to the property along with a map of the grounds. Unlike many of the places here, you took a self-guided tour around the house, property, and various shops. The only actual guided tour was through the aging caves of Beringer, which were dug into the hillside back in the late 1800s. Edward and I decided to skip the guided tour and just walk through all the shops so we could see a few of the other wineries in the area before our dinner reservation.
We started with the Rhine house located at the head of the tour. Completed back in 1884, the German-style mansion was constructed as a theme house where each room had stained-glass windows and was hand-painted with art that reflected the rooms use. Edward found this fascinating and spent quite a while admiring each room as if it were art. Now, the entire house was used as a banquet hall, gift shop, and tasting bar, but originally, the Rhine house was the home of Fredrick, one of the two Beringer brothers that founded the winery. Frederick wanted to create a California villa that was reminiscent of the family's impressive old German home at Mainz-on-the-Rhine.
After looking through the house, we wondered up to the market. There we tasted the various dipping oils, spreads, and wine flavored chocolate syrups and jams. I purchased a bottle of the fig and pomegranate balsamic vinegar and some parmesan dipping spread. I couldn't wait to get it back home to try with some San Francisco sourdough. Edward bought a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon chocolate sauce with the idea we'd have it over ice cream sometime later.
Lastly, we did the wine tasting in the grand tasting room. Edward and I each picked our favorite of the nine options were able to try and again, I purchased a bottle to take home. Edward bought a few bottles he liked, as well, including an aged Brandy that the vineyard had recently acquired and started producing. As the merchant handed Edward his bag, I saw her wink and thank him for his purchase. An odd feeling washed over me and I questioned my reaction. Edward was an attractive, unmarried man; women should be making passes at him; but was that jealousy I was feeling? I shook my head, laughed quietly, and took Edward's arm as we walked back to the car.
"So what do you think so far?" he asked, opening the back of the SUV.
"About the wine or the flirty sales associate?" I inquired, placing my bags inside.
"Saw that, did you?"
I smirked and turned to face him. "Just made me laugh. I've never understood women who hit on men when they're clearly with someone."
He reached for me, pulling me into his arms and wrapping them around my lower back. "I like the sound of that."
"What?" I said, lifting my chin to look at him.
"Being with you." He kissed my lips and dipped his hands slightly lower to the swell of my hips. I returned his kiss, humming against his lips. Things had been good with Edward the last few weeks and I found myself wanting to spend as much time with him as possible.
He released me and I smiled at him. "Where to next?"
"Sterling Vinyards is just up the road a ways. I'd like to show you something."
"Sounds good," I said, intrigued. "Let's go."
We climbed back into the car and left Beringer with one last look of the beautiful house on our way out. We pulled onto the main road and continued north. Our dinner reservation was back in Yountville, which was south, but in an effort to see some of the Napa countryside we intentionally worked our way north with the idea we'd cover as much ground as we could in our touring.
About five miles up the road, we passed a huge gate and a sign that read Castello di Amorosa. I had remembered seeing the same name on one of the bottles of wine we'd tasted back at V. Sattui and figured that must be where they actually made the wine. They'd told us that the owner of V. Sattui also owned di Amorosa and that the vineyard was modeled after a medieval castle.
"That's must be the vineyard our wine tender mentioned earlier," I said, motioning toward the gate, "but I don't see any castle."
"Just wait, you will."
I looked at Edward, confused by his response, and laughed. "Okaaaaay. . . ."
He just smirked and kept driving. We continued along, passing several grand estates. I recognized several vineyards that produced some of my favorite wines. It was exciting actually seeing where they came from. We passed by Gray Stone, and Edward commented that he wanted to be sure to go there tomorrow when we'd have more time. It was a culinary institute and restaurant and I could only imagine the yummy things we'd find.
Eventually we came into Calistoga and turned off the road into Sterling Vineyards. We parked and walked over to the welcome center at the base of a gondola. Edward asked for two tickets and I offered to pay. He'd already spent a small fortune on our trip and it was the least I could do to show him my gratitude.
We took the gondola to the top of a mountain and started our tour. Unlike the other wineries we'd visited, at Sterling you did a salon-style tasting alone with a self-guided tour through the winery, learning about how they make the wine. We started with our first glass at the entrance and then wound our way through the show room. There were beautiful picture everywhere of all the different types of grapes they grew and of the harvesting process.
With our second glass, we walked through the fermenting room and saw the huge oak barrels they stored the wine in to age it. For our third glass, we met with a Sommelier who taught us about the different flavors and accents they added to each of their types of wine. I'd been a wine connoisseur since I'd taken my first drink at age twenty-one but to have a real life analysis of exactly what you were drinking, was fascinating and really made the flavors come to life on our palates. The Sommelier poured us our fourth glass and directed us towards a set of double doors that lead to a sundeck.
Edward took me by the waist and wrapped one arm around me. "Okay, this is what I wanted you to see. Close your eyes and trust me."
I smiled at him and closed my eyes, allowing him to guide my steps. I felt a blast of cool air hit my skin as we walked through the doors and instantly smelled the sweet summer air. Edward led me several steps, carefully maneuvering us around various objects. Eventually, I felt a metal railing in front of me and we stopped. I felt Edward move to stand behind me followed by the soft feel of his lips along my neck as he whispered, "Open your eyes."
I opened my eyes and gasped. The entire Napa Valley was displayed before us in all its glory. There were golden vineyards as far as the eye could see, in ornately manicured rows. Mountains wrapped around on both sides and the blue sky above us just starting to turn red with shades of the setting sun. It was extraordinary and took my breath away.
"Edward, it's . . . beautiful," I choked out. I didn't know what else to say. It had been so long since I'd made it out of the city. Though San Francisco offered some spectacular views, it was so nice to have a change in scenery where not a skyscraper or speck of concrete could be seen. I turned my head to kiss him, tasting the remnants of the wine on his lips. I opened my eyes and gasped again. "Oh my God, Edward, look!" I said and pointed to the hillside just to the east of us.
There, tucked up into the hillside, was a huge castle, complete with turrets, a drawbridge, and flags blowing in the breeze. I'd never seen anything like it and knew it had to be Castello di Amorosa.
"It's incredible, isn't it? I read about it while making plans for our trip but the pictures are nothing compared to seeing it firsthand."
"We have to go there tomorrow. I mean, it's a castle!" I couldn't contain the excitement in my voice. I felt like a little girl again, seeing Disneyland for the first time.
Edward laughed, squeezing his arms around me and kissed my lips again. "Okay, first thing tomorrow, we'll go to the castle."
Beaming at him, I bit my lower lip. I could hardly wait to see it up close. If it was this impressive from miles away, I could hardly imagine what it would be like seeing it up close. We finished our fourth tasting and made our way up to the wine shop where we'd have our three remaining glasses. I picked a bottle to take home with me, and excused myself to the bathroom to freshen up before we left.
When I came out of the restroom, I found Edward talking to a middle-aged woman at the wine bar. She handed him a small bag and smiled at me when I approached. "You must be Bella. Your name fits you."
Heat filled my cheeks at her compliment. "Thank you. Ready to go, Edward?"
"Yep, all set." He thanked the woman who's name I learned was Karen and we headed back to the gondola to go back down the mountain.
"Did you get something?" I asked, nudging his bag with mine.
"Just a little something."
"What is it?"
"Just my own memento of our visit. It's getting a little later than I'd anticipated; we should probably start winding back."
The tram came to a stop once we'd made it back to the base of the mountain and the attendant opened the door to our cabin. He reached for my hand to help me out but I made no move to get up.
"You're up to something, Edward Cullen. I've seen you all day doing curious things, and now you're playing coy. What are you up to?" I asked playfully.
Edward shrugged and said, "You'll just have to wait and see." With that, he stood up and got out of the cabin, leaving me sitting there, speechless.
I sat for a moment, then laughed and stood up and took the attendant's hand. "Thank you." He nodded and I quickened my step to catch up to Edward who was standing just off to the side, out of the way.
We made our way to the car, discarded our bags in the back with the other bottles of wine, and climbed in. We had about forty-five minutes before our dinner reservations at The French Laundry so we drove slowly, admiring the scenery around us. It wasn't a fancy restaurant by any means, so I felt comfortable not changing before we dined. As we made our way back down Highway 29 to Yountville, he took my hand in his between us and we talked more about our plans for the next day and what we still wanted to see. The easy intimacy between us felt so good, and I reveled in how free I felt. Edward seemed so happy and that made me happy. I loved seeing how open and affection he was with me. There was a part of me that never wanted this weekend to end.
When we passed through St. Helena and by the Napa Soap company, I mentioned I wanted to be sure to stop by there before we headed back to San Francisco.
We arrived at the restaurant and could see the place was packed. The turn-of-the-century stone building had a large patio seating area and there were people dressed in casual attire at every table. There was still twenty minutes until our reservation, so we told the hostess we were here and decided to walk around the garden across the street. Part of The French Laundry's draw was that they primarily used vegetable and herbs grown in their own garden. They cultivated it themselves and used as much as they could from the area in their kitchen. Just like everything place around the area, the garden was beautifully manicured, and everything was labeled and meticulously trimmed. It must have been a chef's dream.
After we walked through the garden, we went back across the street and soon, our table was ready. The host showed us to our table and a waiter welcomed us before presenting the entrées they offered for the evening. Every day the restaurant created two, nine-course menus and you had the option of either along with the recommended wine paring. Once she finished, she left to give us a few moments to decide. I glanced around the room noticing the interior was simple and elegant, with crisp white tablecloths and neutral décor. It was clear the food was to take center stage. From the reputation and wait list they had just for reservation, we weren't going to be disappointed.
I reached across it to take Edward's hand. "Thank you for bringing me here," I said softly. "I've wanted to come here for so long."
His smile made my heart race and he squeezed my hand. "You're welcome. I can't say I'm not looking forward to it, as well."
"Yes. It's been featured in magazines around the world and is ranked as number one of the top hundred restaurants in the U.S." I couldn't help the excitement in my voice. Though I didn't cook much, I did pay attention to some of the finer eateries in San Francisco. As a part of my job, it wasn't uncommon to have a nice lunch or dinner with clients or other attorneys.
"Pretty impressive considering the nine restaurants in San Francisco that also made that list," Edward said with a wink.
I gasped at his response surprised that he knew something as random as the top restaurants list. "You knew that?"
Edward laughed. "I told you Rosalie had a connection. She keeps me in the know where it counts. Actually, she told me when I called her about the reservation."
"Well now that you know there is such steep competition back in the city, we'll have to try them out and make our own list."
Edward laughed again and said, "I'd like that."
When our waitress came back to our table, we choose which of the dinner menu's we wanted and Edward ordered us a bottle of the wine she recommended with our meal. As each course was then served, the food just got better and better. The dishes were some of the best I had ever tasted, easily proving why the place deserved to be number one on the list. Dinner stretched out over two bottles of wine, and the leisurely pace allowed us to savor the food and the entire experience.
More than the food, the wine, or the trip, I was enjoying the time with Edward. We laughed and joked as we told each stories, each of us trying to outdo the other. At one point, he had me laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. Unencumbered by my past, I felt so grateful to the man who had brought me out of the dazed grief I'd been drowning in. Mid-laugh he stopped and brushed my hair away from my face and leaned in for a kiss.
I kissed him back, my senses on overload from the wine, the food, and the feel of Edward's lips on mine. Happiness bubbled up inside of me and I felt like the very last dark corner in my mind had been swept away by my feelings for this man. A long-forgotten spot inside my chest ached and suddenly, I felt tongue-tied, unable to express how he was making me feel. So I held him close, imprinting the memory this moment on my mind so I'd never forget it.
As we finished our desserts and drank the last of our wine, I felt a lump in my throat at how lucky I was for having met him. After we were done, and the check had been paid, he helped me out of my seat.
"Dinner was truly amazing, Edward," I said, wrapping my hand around his forearm. "Thank you." I squeezed his arm, wanting him to know how wonderful this weekend had been.
"What do you say we head back to the house?" he said, his voice low and husky.
"You can't be tired already, can you?" I teased him as we walked toward the front door of the restaurant.
"Tired? No." He leaned in to speak directly in my ear and I felt warm air flow across my neck as he breathed out. "But I am ready to continue my tasting."
I flushed at his words and the images they conjured up, and pressed my lips to his. I kept it chaste, but the look of raw desire on his face when I pulled back still made my knees weak. Just as we reached the front door, we stopped to wait for an elderly couple that was also leaving. Edward quickly reached for the door, holding it open for them.
"Why thank you, young man," the woman said as Edward held the door open. "See that Henry, there are still nice young men who know how to act like gentlemen these days."
Immediately, my eyes snapped to the man I presumed to be "Henry," the woman's husband. "Thank you, sir. Very kind of you," he commended to Edward. Then he turned to me. "After you, ma'am."
"Thank you," I said, as I walked out the door behind the man's wife.
"What an attractive young man you have there," she said to me. "We noticed you two in the restaurant earlier. We were sitting a few tables over and enjoyed hearing the laughter. It reminded me of Henry and me when we were first courting. He brought me here on our first wedding anniversary, you know. Such a long time ago. Now, thirty-nine years later, we still eat here."
I looked at her, my hands suddenly feeling clammy. "Yes, we were celebrating my birthday. I hope we didn't disrupt your meal."
"Oh, don't be silly, dear. It was delightful. You were enjoying your night with your husband."
The blood drained from my face, making me feel woozy all of a sudden. "He isn't my husband," I said hoarsely. "He's . . . he's my—"
Before I could correct her, she patted my arm and continued, "Oh, well then. Not to worry, dear. He's deeply in love with you. It won't be long at all before he's proposing."
I wanted to comment back to her, correct her that her assumptions were all wrong but I felt mute, absolutely tongue-tied. She thought Edward would propose to me? And soon? Oh God, what if Edward thought that, too? That couldn't be why he brought me here this weekend, could it? I panicked.
Looking back for Edward, I saw him walking with Henry toward us. As they approached, Edward took my arm and we all walked to our cars, Henry continuing in his conversation. ". . . so here we are, fifty years later and she still puts up with me. But I sure love her; she's my world."
"I can imagine the love you must have for her," Edward commented. When we reached his car, he opened the passenger side door for me and helped me inside. After closing it, I immediately turned around in my seat to listen as Henry and his wife followed Edward around to his side of the car.
"That's a beautiful young lady you have there. How long have you two been married?" he asked Edward. I blinked in surprised to the man's assumption and tightened my hands into fists, my nails biting into my palms. Apparently, he and his wife shared the same opinion.
"Oh, they're not married . . . yet." The woman took her husband's arm.
Edward cleared his throat. "Yes, Bella isn't my wife. She—"
"Well how about that?" Henry cut him off before he could finish. "You best ask that girl to marry you soon, boy. Someone might come along and steal her away. Then you'd sure be a sorry lot." I saw him elbow Edward and felt my heart stutter in my chest at the old man's words.
"Henry, you silly romantic. Let us leave these two lovebirds alone. Take me home," the woman chided.
He just laughed and excused himself. "Well, you heard the woman. We best go. You two enjoy your night."
"And you, as well," Edward said and shook the man's hand. I turned back straight in my seat and sat, stone-still facing forward as Edward got in the car. I felt like I was in a haze as the conversations that had just taken place replayed over and over in my head. I could feel the heat in my face and knew I must be flushed. The clamminess in my hands had turned ice-cold and I could feel them shaking slightly. My world suddenly felt off its axis and I struggled to process through the bizarre conversation that had just taken place.
This was crazy! These people didn't know us at all, just observed us over one dinner. Edward wouldn't push me like that. He hadn't even said he loved me . . . and yet . . . I remembered the look I'd seen in his eyes lately, the way he always seemed on the verge of saying something, and the way he stopped himself just before he did. Was he planning tell me he loved me?
Edward's voice broke through my thoughts. "Are you all right? You look a little light-headed." He reached for my arm.
"I'm fine, I just need some air," I said, my voice sounding rough and strained. I knew my feelings for Edward had deepened and I was falling for him, but that was a long way from being in love with him.
As Edward started the engine so I could roll down my window, immediately, the radio turned on and the voice of Steve Perry singing "Faithfully" filled the car. My heart plummeted as the ridiculous power ballad's lyrical meaning hit me straight in the chest.
And being apart ain't easy on this love affair . . .
Oh, girl, you stand by me, I'm forever yours.
Faithfully
I rolled down my window and looked away from him. "Are you sure you're . . . alright?" Edward's words trailed off and he reached a hand to my chin, gently turning my head so he could look into my eyes.
"I'm . . . I'm okay. I'm sorry," I said automatically. I was struggling to find my bearings. The words married, husband, and proposal, echoed in my mind. Combine that with the now-softly-playing music, I was coming undone at the seams. I felt a strange twinge within me at the thought of it all and the urge to throw up wasn't far behind it. I couldn't even begin to consider the thought of anything so serious with Edward yet. It was all just too much.
Edward reached forward, turning off the radio. "Wait, Bella, is this about what those people were saying?"
"Edward, stop. Just take me back to the house, please." I stared at him blankly, feeling numb and shaken. He tried to pull me into his arms and I didn't resist, but I didn't relax against him either.
"Will you talk to me then?" he asked, gently rubbing my back. But I didn't answer. He sighed and let me go, then fumbled around, securing his seatbelt. He turned and looked over his shoulder to back us out of our parking spot but I avoided his eyes.
I stared out the window the entire ride back to the house, my mind replaying the entire night. Our entire history. Everything I'd ever done since meeting Edward. I knew I was over-reacting; he would never push me or ask me to marry him right now but I couldn't help my mind from going there given the conversation as we left the restaurant.
When the car came to a stop just outside the house, I immediately got out instead of waiting for Edward to come around for my door. I went inside, Edward following behind me, mumbling something but my mind was too jumbled to hear it.
"I . . . I need a few minutes to myself." I went in the en-suite bathroom and shut the door, locking it behind me. I heard Edward sigh and a quiet thud against the door.
"Please, don't do this, Bella," he begged me. "Talk to me. Don't shut me out again."
"Edward, please. Just give me a few minutes," I answered, my voice cracking.
I put my head down on my knees, breathing deep, trying to stop the spinning in my head. I heard another quiet thud against the door and Edward's shoes shift on the floor.
"Just go to bed, Edward," I said hoarsely. "You don't have to wait for me."
"I am not going anywhere until you talk to me. I thought we were past this, Bella."
Tilting my head back and leaning it against the wall, a tear slid down my cheek. "I just need a minute, Edward!" I cried out, and instantly covered my mouth. I didn't mean to snap at him but if I didn't collect myself, there was no way I was going to be able to talk to him rationally. "I'm going to take a bath. I'll be out in a bit," I tried again.
He didn't respond, but he didn't leave either. I sat there for a long time, the tears continuing to fall, waiting for him to do something. Several minutes passed and finally I heard rustling outside the door and Edward spoke. "Fine. I'm going to bed. Please come to bed with me. You don't have to talk, just . . . come to bed."
Again, I didn't answer. Thirty seconds passed and I heard the sounds of his footsteps retreating so I moved to start the water in the tub. Methodically, I stripped out of my clothes and climbed in while it continued to fill. The temperature of the water felt as if it was scalding my skin as the heat reacted against my frozen flesh. I welcomed the stinging pain as a fresh round of tears filled my eyes and my stomach twisted as I thought of Edward. I'd hurt him again and this time, he'd chosen to walk away.
I'd taken a harmless miscommunication and turned it into a mountain that now stood between Edward and me—complete with a solid, locked door. I felt like a truly horrible person, hurting someone who cared about me in a way I didn't even understand. I felt toxic, like I was tainting his goodness with my emotional instability. There was something fundamentally wrong with me if I could hurt a good man like Edward over and over. The more I considered the situation, the more I realized I should just end things with him; it wasn't fair for me to do this and I needed to let him go. For his own sake. He needed someone who could have handled tonight as just a silly exchange with strangers making assumptions and nothing more.
Edward was the type of man who should propose and marry someone he loved. Tonight shouldn't even have been an issue because normal women would be looking for that one day. Hell they'd be excited if the man they were seeing was having thoughts of the future. Yet, here I was, flipping out over it when it wasn't actually an issue. Edward hadn't done anything to push me for more of a commitment. There was no pressure from him whatsoever. I knew this, and yet my reaction was so strong, leading me to throw up my walls and push Edward away.
Tonight had been the first time someone had commented on us as a couple. It made me realize that while I was slowly pulling the pieces of my life back together, my plans for the future had changed. I didn't know if this was something I was ever going to get past. I'd wanted a family and a marriage once upon a time, but that was gone. The man I wanted that with was gone. If marriage was something that Edward was wanting, we had a serious problem and I was standing in his way.
It wasn't until I was stiff and the water had gone cold that I decided to get out of the tub. I dried off and automatically went through my bedtime routine, taking out my contacts and brushing my teeth.
The bedroom was dark and quiet when I finally left the bathroom and for a moment, I briefly contemplated sleeping in one of the other rooms. I wasn't sure if Edward would even want me in bed with him. In the filtered light coming in the window, I could see him sleeping. He had been restless, tossing and turning, indicated by the sheets bunched around his hips. I could even faintly see the furrows of his brow and the way his lips turned down in a frown. I walked quietly over to the bed and watched him for a moment.
He mumbled in his sleep and flipped over onto his side, his face twisting into a deeper frown. I sighed and felt my stomach churn again. I crawled into bed beside him and scooted over until our bodies were just inches apart. I heard him release a breath, a long, drawn-out exhalation of air that ruffled the hair on the back of my neck. He woke halfway and placed an arm around my waist, pulling me tightly against him. In moments, he was wrapped around me like always, his tight hold familiar. I closed my eyes against the hot tears that threatened to spill over and pressed my face into the pillow. The words the old woman spoke lingered in my mind, along with my conclusion that I needed to end things with Edward. They burrowed deeper in and took root, growing quickly until I felt nauseous with anxiety.
Edward seemed to sleep peacefully after I crawled into bed, his breathing slow and steady. But the longer I lay there not sleeping the more my guilt and anxiety grew. His presence, which had been comforting just a little bit before, now made me feel caged in, trapped. I squirmed against him, trying to loosen his hold on me. Instead, he pulled me tighter, the weight of his arm feeling oppressive. My breath quicken as my panic grew. My chest ached as I struggled to hold myself together. I felt like there was a noose around my neck and it was slowly beginning to tighten. I needed to get away.
So yeah, there is that . . . . You're all probably about to flame, throw stones, or down right just flounce but please, please, please trust us. I think it's pretty safe to say anyone would take a major look at the relationship if thoughts of marriage were subtly introduced after such a short time of dating. Bella needs to come to terms with some of her past and find some closure on it if she and Edward are ever going to have a solid relationship.
The next few chapters are going to be a little rough but are completely vital to Bella finally moving on from her former life. We hope you stick around for the resolution; we promise it will be worth the angsty times ahead.
Feel free to stop by to chat or look for teasers in the following places. Again, be sure to check out the slideshow for more pictures of all the places we mentioned. The link is at the top. In addition, we are working on assembling the playlist of all the songs we've used in the story. Till next time. ~D&K
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