Chapter Two: Ghosts

"And, I woke up here," concluded Frisk. She wiped the tears from her eyes; the last time she had told that story, she had sobbed and sobbed, and sans had held her hand through it the entire time. Now, she knew, since her company was Flowey, the only comfort she could seek was from herself.

Flowey was staring at her from his coil, looking shocked. It was easy to guess why. Frisk smiled sadly at him, shrugging. "Now you know that I jumped. I wasn't pushed, and I didn't just fall. I heard Chara's voice, and I obeyed. I thought... heh." she hesitated. "I had hoped, actually, that the fall would kill me. But you, however intentional or not, saved me, Flowey."

Flowey slowly uncoiled himself and wrapped around her right arm again. This time, she let him, keeping eye contact with him the whole time, watching and waiting for his reaction.

"That story sucked," he said finally, "but not because it was you telling it."

"Oh?" Frisk raised an eyebrow. "Then why?"

He searched her face, almost carefully, before smiling his usual pitiless smile. "Because it was true."

"Yeah," she agreed, resting back on her left hand and looking up at the crevice that sealed her fate. "And the fact that the same twisted blood runs through me is even worse, huh?"

"Chara's blood? But Chara was fun," Flowey insisted. "She wasn't all bad, I think."

Frisk sighed a bit. "She tried to destroy humanity using you, Flowey."

"Yeah, but it was still fun," he replied, his smile devious, now.

Frisk scowled at him. "I often wonder if you even know what fun is, or even means." She got back to her feet slowly, pulling her arm free from him rather abruptly. "I'm going home. You've had your story, whether you liked it or not." She was angry, her face, neck, and ears red from it, but she knew it was her own fault. She'd expected decency when there was none to be found. She'd expected care when only disdain existed, significance where nothing was sacred...

She really was an idiot.

"Goodnight, Asriel," she said, as her usual way of leaving. She always said it, always, no matter how bad the visit. She wanted him to know she had never forgotten, that there was a reason she tortured herself every week for his sake. When she was about to leave the garden, she was tripped by vines covering her ankles and pulling her back. she landed hard on her hands and knees, then her legs gave out. She sighed deeply, keeping her hands still and her face set. She turned back and glowered at Flowey.

He was staring back at her, looking... weird. It took Frisk a while to understand why, at least completely, but to her he looked confused, which was weird. She propped herself up, untied her feet of the vines, then sat down, waiting. He only did that if he had something to add - usually crass or rude, but his expression changed her mind.

"Say it again...? he suddenly asked softly, looking angry and confused, now.

"Goodnight, Asriel," she repeated, using the exact same tone and inflection.

He visibly twitched. "Has it really almost been eight years?" he went on slowly. "Since you jumped?"

"Yes." She felt bittersweet, now, an ache in her heart. Her life had ended that day - only to start again, like a phoenix, only with flowers, not fire.

Their eyes met, and in another time, they were siblings, Chara and Asriel - the children of King Asgore and Queen Toriel Dreemurr - only to be destroyed by one selfish desire that Chara had refused to let go, and one that her loyal brother allowed himself to be dragged into, bringing him to his almost-innocent doom.

And just like that, Frisk began to cry again, only harder than before, silent, but with a few gulps and starts, the tears running down her cheeks. She'd never cried like that before, not since she made the mistake of almost doing so and having it used against her. She didn't look away from him, but she didn't stop her tears, either. She let them flow.

Flowey stared at her, his face crumpled in a sarcastic smile. "What do you expect to gain from that, Frisk?" he wondered. She shook her head angrily, not bothering to answer. That seemed to annoy him further. "Crying doesn't bring them back, you idiot. It won't bring Chara back, that's for sure, and it won't bring back Asriel - no matter how many times you call for him."

"Shut up," she snapped. She said it because she remembered, once, that he had been able to stay Asriel, for a while after the barrier broke, and that was when she'd learnt the truth about her great-aunt; that she hadn't been a good person, and had perhaps loved, but not beyond using those people she loved - especially good people like the Dreemurrs - her family, once.

"The truth always hurts you most, doesn't it, Frisk?" Flowey was saying, moving closer to in order to face her properly. "And I bet it was worse knowing I don't even care! And I don't care! Not about the past, who I was, or even about you."

For a moment, Frisk hated him. She hadn't felt that in years. She glowered furiously at him, her tears hot with that fury. Wordlessly, she got back to her feet and once again turned to leave - only to again be tripped by Flowey's vines. This time, she just lay there, refusing to move, because she knew that was exactly what he wanted - her reaction. She laid prone, and soon found his face in hers, still sarcastic, yes. but there was something else there, too. something she didn't understand.

"Frisk," he said, his voice practically dripping with his mockery. "You want Asriel, don't you? Have sought him out from within me in years, haven't you?"

Her eyes flared at him, wishing she could make him explode or something. Her hands were clenched so hard she was crushing the flowers beneath her. Because it was true, and they both knew it.

"He's dead, Frisk," Flowey went on, seeing the answer in her face. "Dead, and never coming back. Just like Chara. You chose not to reset, Frisk. You know you played a part in this. So, in a way, this is all your doing."

"Shut up!" she growled, feeling sticky sap cover her fingers.

"You erased any save-points and let them all go. You let him open the barrier and then return as this. You did this. You got what you wanted - your happy ending - and yet here you are, daring to be unhappy! Why do you keep chasing ghosts, Frisk?"

"Because I couldn't save you, Asriel!" she burst out, pushing herself up onto her knees, her hands covered in sap. "I was able to save everyone but you!"

He had flinched again when she had said "Asriel", but the cruel smile only widened. "To save everyone else, you had to let Asriel go, Frisk."

Frisk punched the ground so hard, the skin of her knuckles split. "i know!" she shouted. "I know that!"

"Then accept reality, you idiot!" Flowey snapped back. "It's been eight years and there is still no Asriel. He's dead, been dust longer than you've even been alive! Why do you continue to cry for a pile of dust, a corpse, someone long gone and with no knowledge or care of you?!"

Frisk raised her head, her eyes blazing with her determination. He stared back with his own, not a whit fazed by this - he never had been, no matter how hard she tried. Nothing ever worked on him. She had tried, for so long, and she had never been able to break through to who he had once been.

Perhaps he was right after all. She was chasing a ridiculous dream, chasing a ghost. She had chased one to get here, and was chasing one even once free of here. How idiotic could one person be?

She got to her feet a third time. Not turning around, she muttered, "Goodbye, Flowey."

He let her go.

"Staying at Home. Gonna have leftover pie. Too tired to come home til tomorrow morning. Love you, Mama. Kisses to you and Papa."

Frisk sent this text and then went right to Toriel's room, Instantly collapsing in the clean, welcoming bed as she did so. Toriel had hired one of the Woshuas to caretake Home's main building in her absence, and the place was definitely clean, and always stocked with both human and monster foods.

She had once invited Flowey on a whim to visit the house, but he flat-out refused, citing that he'd be a dead flower in a vase before that ever happened. Therefore, she knew she was safe in Home, probably the only place in the Ruins in which she was. She believed him even more, now.

Eight years, and she had foolishly let herself have hope for that long, willingly thought that she could somehow, in some way, reach to the part that was Asriel, that she knew was still in there somewhere. She had hoped for so long that maybe if she could prove to him that, in her, he could have love, forgiveness, a sister...

A knock sounded at Toriel's door, and she looked up, confused for a moment, before she blinked again and smiled, using her sleeve to clean her face before she answered the knock.

"Who's there?"

"updog."

"Updog, who?"

"no, wait... i think i got that one wrong. dammit."

"Just come in, sans!" she laughed. "I already know it's you. Why do you even bother knocking?"

He let himself in and winked one socket at her. "for reactions like that," he replied, pulling out Chairiel and sitting down. she sat up and tuned to him, in order to look at him directly.

"so... you bleated the whole story to the weed, did you?" he wondered, his pinpoint eyes sharp, even though his words were not.

"I absolutely bleated," she agreed sadly. "Bleated and got no echo."

"ducks are the ones without echoes, though, aren't they?" sans wondered. "anyway, what did you expect, frisk?" He picked up one of Toriel's old joke books and flipped through it.

Frisk sighed, resting her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands. "I dunno. I expected something."

"and?"

"And, nothing, sans!" she said, exasperated. "You see what happened! I'm hiding in my mother's room!"

He looked up at her, pinpoints again meeting her gaze. Ever since she was little. she had always liked and trusted sans. How could she not, with the way she had met him? She trusted him, with her secrets and with her life.

"lotta good jokes in here," was sans's answer. "that's odd, even for tori. she only used a few of these on me."

"I know," Frisk nodded. "She tried them all on us first - Papa Gorey and I - and only chose the ones we laughed at to tell you. The one she used through the door with you was under that one."

He found it and flipped through it, then laughed harder. "oh yeah, i remember these!" He laughed again. "ah, tori. a classic. yodel. heheh."

Frisk watched him closely for a moment at that. For years, she had watched sans and her mother become the best of friends, like Undyne and Papyrus were, sometimes even rivaling them with their camaraderie and silliness. As such, one question always nagged at her, one that she'd never had the courage to ask, after all of these years.

Now, she found it.

"sans, do you love my mother?"

sans dropped the books at once, looking up so quickly his neck cracked. He struggled to keep his perpetual grin, but his eyes were obviously panicked. "kid, frisk, heh, who doesn't love your mom?"

Frisk glared daggers at him, and he winced. "That is not what I meant and you know it, sans."

"well... fine..." He turned towards the desk, keeping his face from her. "damn, kid, way to make a pleasant visit awkward." He paused, then sighed, his whole body sagging in the chair. "yeah, i love tori. i love her because she's got a killer laugh, a wicked wit, a loyal heart, and a brave soul."

"So, then, you are in love with my mother?" pressed Frisk.

"in the way you keep trying to imply? nah. not for a long time. but yeah, i used to. a great deal." He paused. "but somehow, i realised, as a friend, tori was better. as a friend, i could be more to tori, too. so when i let that love go, i was happier. plus, the way she is with fluffybuns..." He turned back to her and rolled his eyes. "pretty gross. i don't want to get in the middle of that.'

Frisk eyed him closely, and he met her gaze. She could see it plainly: all he had just said was true. He had been in love with Toriel, but had somehow let it go. Did anyone hold his soul, now? Could anyone?

"if you tell anyone, especially your father, i'll tell them what 'superbonk' means."

Frisk jolted in shock, going scarlet in horror. "I promise! I promise! It dies with me!"

sans nodded, satisfied by this. "so... why did you tell the weed, frisk?"

Her posture was the one that deflated this time. "Tomorrow, everyone is going to be celebrating my arrival here like it's my birthday." She looked down at her hands. "It's kinda nice, because I don't really remember when my actual birthday is, but..." When sans waited, she added, "If they knew the truth, that I jumped, they'd just pity me and be sad. I don't want them to be sad."

"okay, but again, that's not what i asked you."

"Let me get to it, then," she said, annoyed at his annoyance. "Because I knew he wouldn't pity me, or be sad, I guess." She smiled crookedly. "I knew he wouldn't be all weird about it. Or... so I thought, but..." the smile vanished. "sans, I swear he was weird at one point.'

"i know." She looked over at him, and he shrugged. "the judge comment he made caught my attention, so i hung around."

"If anything, that's a good thing," she admitted. "I have a witness. You did see it too, right? he was weird, wasn't he?"

"yep."

Frisk sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "And yet, no matter how close I was, nothing can be done with it, can there?"

"trust me, and trust alphys: that thing cannot be reversed, no matter how determined you are. that technology was never meant to be used, and even less so on things without wills to live. the only way to free him is to kill him." He looked at her closely, now. "and you won't let me do that, will you?"

"No," she said quietly. "I won't."

"and that's because, somehow, you want to change him back to the prince, right?"

She didn't answer such an obvious question: of course that was the case.

"well, did it ever occur to you that the thing you've been calling asriel isn't actually him, but someone - something - else?" sans wondered, his voice casual.

Frisk felt a chill. "No, because he was the one I saw, the one who broke the barrier." She was angry at his doubting her. "It was him, sans! I've seen pictures of him. It was him."

"it was," sans agreed. "but what about now?"

Frisk punched the bed beneath her, her injured fist stinging. "Because he said it! 'Before I turn back into a flower... before I become soulless again.'"

"did it occur to you that you were just a kid, and that thing was playing on that?"

"He was in the garden!" Frisk suddenly exploded, getting to her feet. "Before we all left, he was there, in the garden, and he spoke to me, and told me all about Chara!"

sans looked up at her, his expression unchanged. "again, i ask, did it occur to you that you were a kid?"

Frisk was shaking, now. "Get out, sans," she snapped. "Just get out."

He did so, without a second glance, pausing only to grab the two joke books on his way out.

Frisk sat back down on Toriel's bed, trembling from head to toe, staring at the framed picture on the nightstand, gazing into the eyes she thought she remembered so well.

What if, indeed?