Disclaimer:

Not my best work, I know I suck.

I've been working on another fluff-fest "Half Moon" and got super super into it.

I will be joggling both, so bear with me :)

AV 3

Maximum Security Prison

Piper Chapman

Litchfield Prison

HAPPY FUCKING VALENTINE's DAY

The outside of this Valentine's Card reads:

Prison Pick Up Lines

1. "Damn, you are sexy in stripes."

2. "Is that a zip-gun carefully carved out of a piece of
discarded metal found on the floor of the prison license-plate
manufacturing shop in your pocket, or are you just glad to see
me?"

3. "You know, normally I don't give in the first 30 seconds, but
I guess I'm a sucker for sheer muscle mass."

4. "Nice teeth. They'd look so much better on my the floor of my
cell."

5. "Who wants to marry a multiple murderer?"

6. "I've been watching you from across the yard for awhile now,
and I knew if I didn't work up the courage to just walk over here
and ask you to be my bitch, I might regret it for the rest of my
life."

7. "Hold still while I staple this centerfold to the back of your
head."

8. "Did you order the Soap Drop soup?"

9. "That orange jumpsuit really brings out the red in your
freshly-healed knife wound."

10. "Care to give Prisoner Johnson a weekend furlough?"

11. "You're new here... let me debrief you and introduce you to
the penal system."

12. "You look even better in person than you did on America's
Most Wanted."

13. "If looks could kill, you'd get 25 to life."

14. "Is your name 'Escape Tunnel?' Because I've been digging you
all night."

Dear Piper,

Call me. Is that so fucking hard? Look if you really needed it I would wire cash right to your account so you could pay for it. But I know you don't need it and I know you don't want my pity pennies. Is it accurate to say that you rip these up? Do you throw them in the trash in the corner to be sure no one can rifle through them? Either way I don't care because there's not exactly an endless source of entertainment in this appartment. And I know its weird to call your EX on valentine's. But you're still in love with me right?

I could read, Yes I do like to read but there's nothing worth reading on Queens. The library in Litchfield I swear was better than this selection of garbage. Actually there is no library on Queen's. Apparently it got infested with bedbugs so what a bummer. I could watch TV I guess, but every time a romance program comes back on I can't bear to look at it. It remind me too much of you, of me, of… us. What is "us" to you? I saw you curse yourself as you said you "fucking hate me". Love and hate run along the same channels in the brain Piper. I know the line between love and hate is fine but I find that that's the least of the tightropes we've tip toed on together.

I read in the newspaper about this new love movie coming out. It's about people's best sex experiences. I read the summary and I'm pretty sure they all sucked compared to the ones we had. Ours "sucked" in a much different way. At least on your part. I was about to teach you to go down on me when fucking Sylvie attacked you for no reason. Aha but a few short weeks later you got your full lesson.

Sex is complex but it only has two pieces: romance and instinct. Those two elements will meld into bodies coming, yes coming closer and no matter how much you may try to suppress one of those elements it will be impossible. So you gave me romance first. You took me by the hand and led me to the bed. You leaned over me and whispered in my right ear "my turn".

You pulled off my black lace underpants and without a second though you took a first taste. It was hesitant. You almost squirmed at the taste of me but I looked at you with a smirk and you were determined you were going to make me scream louder than I ever had. This almost happened but not quite. I remember you turning around so your body was aligned to prop your face between my legs. You licked me softly to begin with with a feather touch that I'm not even capable myself of.

Usually I can control my face right up to the last minute but I was losing that battle, badly. I could feel a warm red blush upon my face and when you saw it you took full advantage. You hands floated down to the sides of my legs to tide me over while you pressed your lips into my mouth to share what you'd just tasted. It was like a forbidden fruit or something and you whispered (into my left ear this time), "I'm going to make this long…" and you tickle my thighs until I try to grab your hands but you're faster and you take them both into yours. I expect you to pin me up with them like I would but you bring them to your mouth and kiss them, softly.

Then you kiss my lips - those other lips between my legs before running your togne up and down alongside my weakest part. And you start to increase your speed only to use your left hand to massage my breast and your right to cover my mouth. You lick up and down and then in figure eights and twirls. With my free hands I twirl your hair, then release it fearing I'll pull it out of pure agony waiting for release. I instead grab the head of the bed while I try to scream as my legs go like jelly and waves upon waves of shock reverberate through my entire body.

I lie there, stars coming above my face and I can't tell whether it is the chandelier or just my own consciousness fading in and out. And when I open my eyes I see your watery eyes looking at mine, looking for a sort of hint that you won and beat me at my very own best game. But I would never give you the satisfaction that you were better at sex than me so I push you over and you know what (who?) came next.

Does this send you down memory lane? Do you share this with your friends to laugh at me? Or are you rolling your eyes in pity? I haven't lost my touch I know you're doing none of the above. I can just picture you in your little cube, closing your eyes and picturing this scene, over and over and over again.

Call me,

Alex