A/N: Here is the next chapter. I know it's a little long, but bear with me. Thank you for following and reviewing my little story. There will only be a few more chapters, but I am considering a sequel. Like always, let me know what you think. Happy reading!
Chapter 31: Keeping Promises
A very tired and haggard looking Avery Livingston walked into the waiting room and spotted the family she was looking for immediately. There were two men and a woman who looked like an older version of her patient sitting in silence. They all stood as soon as they saw her. She held up her hand to ward off the incoming questions as soon as she approached them.
"I'm Dr. Livingston. I was the surgeon on call when Ms. Cabot was brought into the ER."
"How is she?" Bill asked anxiously.
"Ms. Cabot survived the surgery. It was very touch and go for a while. She was brought in with serious internal bleeding and damage to her spine and pancreas. We were able to find the source of the bleeding and repair the damage. Her left lung was punctured by one of the broken ribs and had to be inflated."
She paused as she heard the older woman gasp and cry.
"The CT scan showed a concussion, but no other significant damage to the head. She did have a deep cut along her hairline. We had our plastic surgeon stitch the cut up so there should be very little scarring. The Orthopedic surgeon was able to repair the fracture to the lower right leg. I'm sure he will be in to speak with you soon. It looks like that injury will require additional surgery once she improves."
"You said there was injury to the spine. How bad?" Julia asked.
Avery looked very grave. "There is a lot of swelling in the area surrounding the spinal cord. There will be no way we can tell how bad it is until the patient wakes up."
"Will she be alright?" Fin asked with a skeptical tone.
Avery sighed. "As I said before, Ms. Cabot survived the surgery. I am almost certain that she will require more. The accident was very traumatic to her body. There's never a guarantee when it comes to these matters. Surgically, we've done all we can do at this point. The next twenty-four hours will be critical to her recovery."
"Can we see her?"
"She will be moved up to ICU and a nurse will come find you."
"Thank you, doctor."
"You're welcome." Avery hesitated for a moment. "I should probably tell you that I recognized Miss Cabot when she was brought in. I'm a friend of Detective Benson's. Has she been contacted?"
Julia nodded and quietly informed the doctor about the entire situation. Avery sighed heavily. "Please let Olivia know that I will do my very best to see Alex through this."
"I will. Thank you again, Dr. Livingston."
Shortly after, Bill and Julia went back up to the maternity ward and filled Olivia in. Just as expected, Olivia was demanding to see Alex. This time there was no talking the detective out of it. Both Julia and Bill knew how stubborn 'their girls' could be. They were no match for them, especially now. Julia knew what she had to do. It was making it happen that was the hard part.
"Ma'am, I understand the situation, but we have hospital policies and regulations for a reason. We can't just allow patients to do whatever they want." The nurse said rolling her eyes. She had been going around and around with this woman for several minutes and she was growing tired of it.
"I'm not asking you to…" Julia sighed in frustration. "She just gave birth to their child. She just wants to see her fiancé, if only for a moment. Surely, you're not so unfeeling that you cannot understand that."
"Look ma'am, this is the intensive care unit. We cannot allow one patient to leave her room and her medical treatment to be with another no matter what the circumstance." The nurse snapped.
She turned away and mumbled something under her breath. Julia could have sworn she heard the word bitch.
Julia raised a brow and her back bone straightened. "Excuse me. What did you just say?"
The nurse ignored her which only infuriated Julia more. She pulled out her cell phone and made a call. She made sure she was staring directly at the nurse as she spoke.
"Elias. It's Julia Harriman. How are you, dear?"
The nurse snorted. Who cared if this old lady knew someone? She was just doing her job.
"I'm having a bit of trouble here at the hospital. You remember my niece, Alexandra? Yes, unfortunately she's been in an accident." Julia shook her head. "No. No. She's receiving excellent care. It's her partner, Olivia. Yes… she went into labor. The baby is fine. The poor thing is completely distraught because she can't see Alexandra. Something about hospital policy…. Oh, good you understand." Julia paused and nodded again. "That would be wonderful if you could. I would really appreciate it. I'm sure the Cabot Foundation will be very appreciative at the next board meeting. Thank you, Elias."
Julia ended her call and tilted her head at the nurse. The nurse swallowed growing a little nervous.
"I wasn't trying to cause you a problem or be difficult. I was just trying to take care of my family. And speaking of family… do me a favor and look at that wall over there." Julia leaned against the desk and casually examined her nails. "Be a dear and read what is says."
The nurse frowned in confusion. "It says… The Alexander Fitzgerald Cabot Intensive Care Unit."
"And what is written underneath?"
"Funded by Helena Grayson-Cabot and the… Cabot… Foundation." It finally dawned on her that the name on the wall was the same name of the patient in question. She closed her eyes. It really did not pay to get out of bed some mornings.
"Maybe I should introduce myself. My name is Julia Grayson-Harriman." Julia politely held out her hand to the nurse. The nurse shook it weakly. "That young woman in there is my niece, Alexandra Grayson-Cabot; the daughter of the people named on that wall there and the heir to the Foundation that pretty much keeps this place open and running and undoubtedly paying your salary. You might want to sit down dear. You're about to receive a phone call."
The nurse was a little startled by the sound of the ringing phone. Julia waited as the nurse answered. She watched as the nurse slowly sat down and became paler by the second. The younger woman finally ended the call and cleared her throat.
"The hospital apologizes for your inconvenience and we will be happy to make arrangements to make your family more comfortable." The nurse said with a hint of sarcasm.
"Thank you. That's all we're asking for." Julia said walking away.
"Bitch." The nurse mumbled under her breath again.
Julia stopped mid-step and turned. She sent a glare so icy it would have made Alex proud. "Wouldn't you be if it were your daughters in here? Oh, and I wouldn't get too comfortable, dear. You're going to be taking an extended break very soon."
Bill was sitting by Alex's bed when the door opened and Julia wheeled Olivia inside. He stood and gave Olivia a kiss on the head as he guided the wheel chair over to the bed. Olivia took a deep breath and tried to hold back the sobs as she laid eyes on Alex for the first time in nearly a week. For a moment, Olivia just sat there unable to move. Alex looked so small and frail; two words that no would have ever used to describe the young attorney. Her skin looked unusually pale; tubes and medical tape covered her striking features. Olivia could see the scrapes and bruises that marred the once perfect alabaster skin; skin she had mapped with her hands hundreds of times. The image was a drastic contrast to the larger than life personality that everyone revered.
Olivia heard the door close quietly, leaving her alone with Alex. The room was completely silent except for the sound of the ventilator that was helping Alex breathe and the beeping of the monitors. Slowly, Olivia reached out and carefully took Alex's hand in her own. She was immediately struck by how cold it felt.
Olivia's chin began to quiver, but she fought the urge to cry. She needed to be strong for Alex. It felt as if her entire world had been tilted and nothing made sense anymore. She thought back to the conversation she and Alex had a week earlier. Alex had insisted that they have legal papers drawn up giving each other medical power of attorney. When Olivia had signed those papers, never in a million years did she think they would ever need to be used, but here they were with Alex lying here fighting for her life. A lone tear fell from her eye and she quickly wiped it away.
Olivia's other hand hovered over Alex's chest for a moment as she watched it rise and fall. She closed her eyes and allowed her mind to drift back to the last night they had made love. She remembered that nothing had separated her hand and Alex's skin. She recalled tracing every single one of Alex's now battered and bruised ribs. She had joked about fattening Alex up because she needed more to hold on to. She could almost hear Alex's hearty laughter echo in her ears. What she wouldn't give to hear that beautiful laugh one more time.
"Alex? Baby, it's me. I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm here. I want you to know that I'm going to be right here when you wake up and I'm going to take care of you. I'm going to be strong for you like you've been strong for me…. but you have to stay with me so I can do that." She gently brushed her fingers along Alex's cheek. "You promised me that you'd never leave me again, Cabot. You promised that you'd be here with me and our son. Did you hear that? Our son is here and he needs you. I need you. Please don't leave me, Alex. I love you."
Olivia laid her head down on the bed and rested against Alex's arm. Still holding her hand tightly, Olivia closed her eyes to the sounds of the beeping machines.
When Dr. Avery Livingston entered Olivia's room the next morning, Olivia instantly knew something was wrong. She tensed while Julia and Bill each took one of her hands. It was like they could sense it too.
"What is it, Avery?"
Avery glanced between Olivia and the older couple almost asking for permission. "Whatever you need to tell me, they can hear it."
Avery nodded before dragging a small chair close to the bed. "You already know that there was trauma to the Alex's spinal area. The swelling has not decreased like we had hoped. As a matter of fact, it seems to be getting worse."
A tear fell from Olivia's eye. "What does that mean?"
"It means that we need to relieve that pressure that's building up before it causes more damage."
"Okay. If that will make her better, why haven't you already done that?"
Avery paused. "Olivia, anytime you are dealing with any type of spinal cord injury, things are very… risky."
"What are you trying to tell me, Avery? Just be straight with me."
"The surgery could help Alex, but it is a very high risk surgery."
Olivia tensed. "How high risk? What kind of percentages are we talking here?"
"It's about fifty-fifty."
"Fifty-fifty as in… she could die? Is that what you're telling me?"
"There's a fifty percent chance that the surgery could cause paralysis… or worse. Death is always a part of the equation when it comes to serious surgery."
Olivia just sat there in silence. She could hear Julia and Bill asking Avery random questions but she couldn't seem to concentrate on their words. All she could think about was paralysis and death.
"Olivia, you are Alex's fiancé and medical proxy. You have to be the person to make the decision. You have to authorize the surgery."
"You're asking me to decide if the woman I love should have a surgery that might leave her paralyzed or worse?" Olivia shook her head. "What happens if she doesn't have it?"
"The buildup in fluid could lead to numerous things."
"Such as?"
"Such as infection, severe nerve damage, possible paralysis anyway. Like I said, it's hard to say."
Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat. "How long do I have to decide?"
"The surgical team is on stand-by. They would need to know within the next hour or so."
"Okay." She looked up at Julia. "Can you take me to the somewhere? I need to be alone to think."
"Sure."
"Come back in an hour, Avery."
Olivia sat in the front of the chapel staring that the beautiful mosaic stained glass high above her.
"It's been a long time since I've been in your house; probably too long for your liking. I know you know why I'm here, so I won't waste your time explaining. God... Alexandra Cabot is one of your most wonderful creations. She is a beautiful spirit. She's kind, compassionate, and honest to a fault. She's just the kind of person you'd want others to aspire to be. For some reason, I've been given this choice to make. I honestly don't know what to do. It's so ironic. Alex would be the first person I would run to for advice. She'd know exactly what to do. So, here I am asking… no begging you… please help me make the right choice. Please don't take my Alex from me. I'll do anything...anything if you don't take her away from me."
Julia leaned back against the door. Her heart ached for Olivia. Olivia had become like a daughter to her and she knew she would be devastated if Alex didn't pull through. "Dear God, please help us. We need you. We need you now."
Forty-eight hours after giving birth to her son, Olivia was more exhausted than she thought possible. According to Avery, Alex's surgery had gone as well as it could have. Now, they just had to wait and see. Olivia felt the pressure of the decision she had been forced to make. If Alex was paralyzed or worse as a result of that decision, she knew she would never be able to forgive herself.
She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was getting close to her time to leave Alex. With the help of Julia and Bill, Olivia had been going back and forth between the maternity ward to ICU so she could be with the baby and at Alex's side as much as possible. After Julia's little run in with the now unemployed nurse, the staff seemed to be going out of their way to make sure Olivia's needs were met. Apparently, a call from the hospital's chairman of the board was all it took.
Unfortunately, Alex's condition was still the same. She had not regained consciousness and the ventilator was still helping her breathe. Avery had come in and spoken with her at length about Alex's condition and what to expect. The doctor had tried to ease Olivia's worry by pointing out the fact that Alex was holding her own. She hadn't taken a turn for the worse which was a positive sign, but that did little to ease the constant ache in Olivia's chest.
Olivia watched the steady rise and fall of Alex's chest as the numerous monitors beeped at a fixed rhythm. Olivia reached over and took Alex's hand in her own.
"I did something yesterday that I haven't done in a long time. I sat in the chapel and prayed; I prayed for you. It's been so long since I've done it; I'm not even sure if I did it right. I'm not sure if you're supposed to try to strike deals with God, but I said that I'd agree to anything… do anything just to keep you with me." She said as her voice cracked. She wiped the tears that escaped her eyes. "I don't know what I'm doing, Alex. You always know the right thing to do… right thing to say to make everything okay. I could really use some of that Cabot confidence right now. Everyone just assumes that I'm the strong one, but we both know they're wrong, don't we? I know you're probably tired of hearing me say this, but I really need you to get better because I can't do this without you. You've ruined me, Cabot. You've ruined me and now I don't work without you. So, I need you to come back to me. I need you to wake up and start giving orders. Please… just open those beautiful blue eyes for me."
Olivia was met with the same silence from before. She laid her head on the bed and continued to talk about anything that came to mind hoping that something would wake her sleeping beauty. After spending over an hour talking to Alex's still form, Olivia let the nurse know she was ready to return to her room. She hated the fact that she had to leave. She wanted to be by Alex's side every moment, but she couldn't be in two places at one time. She now had their son to think about. He needed her too. It was all a little overwhelming.
Bill and Julia Harriman had been a godsend, especially Julia. She was like the protective mother, wise aunt, and doting grandmother all in one. The woman seemed to be able to sense when Olivia needed a hand to hold and when she needed space to cry and think. The older couple as well as her fellow detectives from the 1-6 had been a constant source of strength. John and Cragen had taken to being honorary uncles to baby Xander. He was never in need of attention when they were around. John, especially, had formed a special bond with her son. Olivia supposed it was because John had helped bring him into the world. She would forever be grateful to John for that.
Liz Donnelly, Serena and Amanda had become her unexpected quiet companions. They didn't say much. Liz would just sit and hold her hand as she cried and made deals with God. Serena and Amanda would listen when Olivia needed to vent her frustrations and fears. Nick and Fin had taken on the roles of her protective brothers. If there was anything that needed taken care of, Nick and Fin were all over it. Nick had sat by her bedside while she waited anxiously for Alex's second surgery to end while Fin had paced outside the operating room. Their little unconventional family had banded together in her time of need and Olivia honestly didn't know what she would have done without any of them.
A soft tap on the door brought her out of her thoughts. She looked up and saw Fin poking his head inside. She gave him a tired smile and waved him in.
"Hey Liv. How you feeling?"
She took a deep breath and shrugged. She opened her mouth and nothing came out. Fin nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed. He opened his arms and she fell into them. He held her tightly and allowed her to cry. He never said anything. He just rubbed her back and let her be. Once she was all cried out, she pulled back and grabbed a few tissues from the nightstand by the bed.
"Sorry about that. It just sort of hits me in waves." She mumbled while wiping her eyes.
"Nothing to be sorry about. You don't need to be strong all the time, Liv. There's no judgment here." He moved from the bed and sat in the chair. He kept his grasp on her hand.
"I don't know what to do, Fin. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do."
"You're doing it. You're making sure Alex gets the best care and you're taking care of your kid."
"I feel like I should be with her more, but… I can't leave him."
Fin squeezed the hand he was holding. "Do you think Cabot would expect you to be anywhere else than with your kid right now? I know how she feels about you and that baby. You two mean the world to her. I've never seen a woman more in love with two people."
His words caused another batch of tears to gather in her eyes.
"I remember running into her a few months ago. I had a little down time after checking on a lead. Melinda's birthday was coming up so I decided to go into Tiffany's to see if anything caught my eye. Imagine my surprise when I saw Cabot there.
"Hey Counselor, fancy seeing you hear."
Alex turned and smiled. "Hello Detective. What brings you here? Forgive me, but Tiffany's doesn't really seem like your style."
"What? A black man can't appreciate fine jewelry?" Fin smirked.
Alex quickly held up her hand. "Oh, that's not what I meant, Detective. I was just…"
Fin laughed and playfully hit her shoulder. "I'm just screwing with you Alex. You're right. I'm not much for this kind of bling."
Alex seemed relieved. She really was quite fond of Fin and would have hated offending him in any way. "So, I'm assuming you must be looking for something for a certain someone then… a very pretty medical examiner perhaps?"
Fin nodded. "Melinda's birthday is in a few weeks. I just thought I'd look around."
"How is that going by the way? You two looked very cozy the other night at O'Malley's."
Fin shrugged and scratched the back of his neck. "It's going pretty good. I'll admit that I've had a thing for her for a long time. Liv finally knocked some sense into me and made me ask her out. I was kind of surprised that she gave me a shot. She's not like the other women I've dated. She's a tough lady. She doesn't suffer fools if you know what I mean."
Alex laughed. "That's a good thing isn't it?"
"At this point in my life, it's a very good thing. What about you? You and Liv seem to be solid. Looks like you guys have an instant family now with the kid on the way. I never got a chance to tell you how awesome I thought it was how you two just walked into Cragen's party and owned it. That was tight."
"We didn't really plan it that way, but it worked." Alex smiled. "You know, I never really saw myself wanting a life like this, but now… it's all I want. Olivia and this baby are my life. It feels like I finally have a life now, you know what I mean?"
Fin nodded. "Yeah. It does feel pretty nice to have something outside of the job. Melinda gets along with my son really well and her daughter is a sweet kid. We're still getting to know one another but I could really see myself building something with her too."
"Good for you, Detective." She said squeezing his arm affectionately.
"Yeah." He scratched the back of his neck again and glanced around the large store nervously. "Now if I had the slightest clue what to get her for her birthday, my life would be perfect. Melinda's style is more uptown than mine, you know?"
Alex narrowed her eyes for a moment. "How about I make you a deal, Detective?"
"A deal?"
Alex nodded. "I've been told that I'm a bit 'uptown' myself. I could help you pick out something lovely for Melinda if you wouldn't mind helping me with my purchase."
"Alex, I seriously doubt that you need my help. I've seen you dressed to the nines. You are 'Uptown' all the way. You probably have your own personal shopper here."
Alex nodded. "Possibly, but this purchase is very special and rather personal. It has to be perfect. There is no room for error with this because it's a forever kind of gift."
Fin looked at her with confusion for a moment, and then realization set in. "No shit?"
Alex laughed as a few of the sales people glanced in their direction. She loved how Fin was himself no matter who he was around.
"If you're talking about me proposing to a certain detective we both know, the answer would be yes. I wouldn't 'shit' about that." She said with a smirk.
Fin grinned and bumped shoulders with her. "I told them. You have mad game for a white chic."
Alex laughed out loud again. She really did love Fin. "You can't say anything because I haven't decided when I'm going to ask her."
"My lips are sealed. I think that's great, Alex. I think you and Liv are perfect for each other."
Alex sighed and smiled happily. "I do to. What do you say we do a little shopping, Detective?"
"Let's do this."
"You knew she was going to ask me to marry her and you never said anything?" Olivia was surprised.
Fin shrugged his shoulders. "I promised Cabot that I wouldn't. I wouldn't dare ruin that moment for her or you. You should have seen her, Liv. The look on her face when she found your ring… it was priceless. We ended up having lunch together afterwards. We spent an hour just catching up. No matter what we were talking about, the conversation somehow always ended back on you and that baby though. I could hardly believe it. The woman we used to call the 'Ice Princess' was gushing about you, baby clothes, and baby names. She couldn't have been prouder if she had been the father herself. So I have no doubt that she would not only want you, but expect you to be here with your son… her son. That's what real parents do. The kid always comes first. You'll see."
Olivia wiped her tears and smiled. "Thanks Fin."
He rubbed her hand affectionately. "Cabot is one of the two strongest women I've ever met. The other one is sitting right here. This is the one time I'm going to agree with John Munch's boney ass so listen up. Alex really is Teflon. That girl bounces back from anything. She's going to get better and she'll be back with you before you know it. Don't sell her short. She'd be pissed if she knew you were."
Olivia chuckled softly and nodded. "You're probably right about that. She can't stand being underestimated."
"We're all here for you guys, Liv. You remember that." He said standing up. He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. "I'm going to head down to ICU to check in on Teflon. I'll be back in a few with an update for you."
"Thank you, Fin."
"No problem, baby."
Shortly after Fin left, the nurse returned with baby Xander. It was time for his feeding. The nurse had again gushed over how gorgeous he was. When Olivia looked into his tiny face, she smiled. She knew she was completely biased, but Xander really was a beautiful baby. She could see Brian in his features as well. He was going to be quite the heartbreaker in the years to come.
Olivia had gotten word to Brian's handler the night before and sent a photo to the secure email address. She received a call from Brian in the early hours of the morning. He sounded every bit the proud father and she didn't have the heart to tell him about Alex. Hearing the tender tone in his voice when she told him the baby's name, Olivia had a feeling that Brian would end up being a much more present father than originally expected and she was actually surprised to find herself looking forward to it. She just prayed Alex would be there to even out their little family.
After checking in on Alex, Fin headed back to Olivia's room to give her the latest update. He was glad that the news was good this time. Alex's vitals had improved and the doctors thought she was getting better. Alex still wasn't awake which meant that it wasn't the best news he could give his friend, but at least it was something positive. He knew Olivia needed something… anything positive to hang onto right now. When he rounded the corner, he was in such a hurry to get to Olivia that he nearly collided with someone else.
"Stabler?"
"Hey Fin." Elliot said shoving his hands into his pockets.
Fin looked at him suspiciously. He looked a little rough around the edges; unshaven and clothes rumbled. "What brings you by?"
"I was just going to see Olivia. I heard she went into labor early. How's the baby?"
"The baby is fine. The kid is strong just like his mothers."
"His? She had a boy?" He asked with a hint of a smile.
"Yeah. His name is James Alexander. Liv calls him Xander."
An odd look crossed Elliot's face. It looked almost sad. Fin eyed him closely. He knew all about the little blow up he and Olivia had months ago. Olivia had confided in him while they were working on a case late into the night. She had told him some of the hurtful things Elliot had said about Alex and their relationship. Fin had listened to Olivia's words with sympathy and anger; sympathy for the woman he loved like a sister and anger at Elliot for being a complete jackass. He'd always thought Stabler was a rat bastard. He had even told him so to his face once, but he would have never thought the man would hurt Olivia. It was obvious even to him that Elliot was in love with her. He was sure that was the root cause for Elliot's behavior towards Olivia. Olivia had found someone to love and it wasn't him so he was pissed; case closed in Fin's opinion.
"Alexander huh? Cabot must be pleased about the name."
"I'm sure she will be when she wakes up."
Elliot smirked and shook his head. "What do you mean? Don't tell me that two days of motherhood has tired her out already?"
"You really are a piece of work, you know that?"
"What? It was a joke." Elliot said.
"A joke? Where the hell is your fucking head man? Look, I get that what happened that night at the precinct did something to you. We all get that. What I don't get is how you could just turn your back on your girl like that." Fin shook his head and moved to walk around him.
Elliot held out his hand and stopped him. He knew there was more to what Fin was saying. "What are you talking about, Fin?"
"If you would take your head out of your ass for one damn minute and think of someone other than yourself, you might actually know what's going on around here!"
"If you know so much, why don't you tell me then?"
"Alex was in a car accident you asshole! They don't know if she's gonna make it."
A cold chill ran through Elliot's body and he frowned. "What? When?!"
"You mean you're wife didn't tell you? I'm sure that's how you found out that Liv was pregnant and that she'd had the baby early. It's kind of fucked up how you have your wife keeping tabs on another woman for you."
"What? No… I haven't even seen Kathy in months… I…" Elliot said feeling completely out of the loop.
Fin blinked. "You haven't seen your own wife in months?"
Elliot sighed and rubbed his face. "Kathy and I split months ago. We talk briefly on the phone about the kids. I found out that Liv was pregnant from John. I saw him a couple of months back."
"And you're just now getting around to a visit?" Fin asked shaking his head.
"Hey, Liv could have called me!" Elliot threw back.
"Oh sure! I'm sure she just couldn't wait to share that little bit of news with you after the last time you two talked… because you were so understanding and supportive of her and Cabot getting together."
Elliot was thrown a little. He hadn't expected Fin to know about that. He knew he had been a jerk that day. He had wanted to apologize to Olivia immediately, but he had been hurting over losing Kathy and at the thought of losing Olivia too. Everything had just come to a head and boiled over. Seeing Olivia so happy with Alex had forced him to accept that things had changed. Olivia had her own life and didn't need him anymore… at least in his mind. He didn't mean the things he said that day. He just couldn't deal and lashed out.
"Yeah. Liv told me what an ass you were, but hey that's nothing new when it comes to you is it?"
"I have to talk to Liv." Elliot started towards Olivia's room only to be stopped by Fin.
Fin stepped well into Elliot's personal space. "If you think for one second that you're going to walk into that room and upset that woman, you are sadly mistaken man. I don't give a rat's ass what's going on with you or your life. That woman lying in there is holding on by a thread because she's worried sick over the woman she loves while trying to deal with the fact that she might have to raise their child alone. This isn't about you, Stabler."
"Fin, you need to move out of my way. I need to talk to my partner."
"She's not your partner anymore." A voice came from behind them. "She hasn't been your partner in a long time."
Elliot turned around. He came face to face with Nick Amaro. Elliot immediately recognized him and took a step closer. Amaro's words had stung but they were true. Olivia wasn't his partner anymore. He wasn't even sure if they were friends anymore after the way he had behaved.
"You've known Liv for what, five minutes? You think that makes you her partner? We have twelve years between us."
"And even with all that history, you haven't been here when she needed you most. I think that says a lot about your so-called partnership."
"Now you look here…"
"Guys?" All three men stopped at the familiar voice. They turned and saw Olivia being wheeled out in a wheelchair. She was holding her baby. She nodded to the nurse "I'll be ready in just a few minutes. I just need to have a few words with these three gentlemen."
The nurse looked carefully between all of them but nodded none the less. She walked over to the nurse's station to wait.
"Liv…" Elliot started but Olivia held up her hand stopping him.
"I can't have you guys about to start a brawl in the hallway. The nurses and doctors here are already bending over backwards and breaking all kinds of rules for me. Please don't make this more difficult."
"I'm sorry, Liv. I just wanted to come by and see you. I didn't know about the accident. I swear." Elliot said softly
Olivia nodded. "I believe you, Elliot but you do have a tendency to always make things about you. Fin's right. This isn't about you."
"But Liv…"
She held up her hand again. "I'm not saying you aren't being genuine, Elliot. I believe you are, but I can't deal with all of that right now. My first priorities are this little guy and Alex. I don't have enough strength left to handle anything else at the moment."
Elliot took a step closer and looked down at the sleeping baby. His heart melted and he smiled slightly. "He's beautiful, Liv."
"Thanks." After a long pause, she cleared her throat. "Maybe when things calm down and... Alex is better, we can all sit down and talk… clear the air."
Elliot swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. "I'd like that. I'd like that alot."
"But understand me, Elliot… I won't allow you to disrespect Alex again. She's the woman I'm going to marry and I won't have it."
He immediately nodded. "I know. I won't. It's my shit, not yours."
"You're right; it is." Olivia looked up at Fin. "Dr. Livingston came by and told me Alex's vitals had improved. I want to go see her again before his next feeding. Will you take me?"
"Sure."
With a quick nod, the nurse returned and took baby Xander back to the nursery while Fin wheeled Olivia to the elevator with Nick trailing behind. As the elevator door closed, Amaro and Fin took their positions standing guard on each side of Olivia. Elliot waited until the doors had closed then took a seat in the waiting area to gather his thoughts. He'd made a mess of things and had much to atone for. He bowed his head and said a prayer for Alex and hoped he'd have the chance to make amends with both of them.
It had been nearly four days since the accident and Alex still had not regained consciousness. The constant worry had taken a toll on all of them, especially Olivia. Although she could have already been discharged, Julia had arranged for Olivia and Xander to remain there for a few more days. She knew there was no way they would be able to get Olivia to leave that hospital with Alex still in such a fragile state.
"How long has she been sitting there?" Serena asked Liz. They were both staring through the small window of Alex's room. They could see Olivia sitting by the bed holding Alex's hand just staring off into space.
"Nearly two hours. She goes back and forth between Alexandra and the baby. Julia says she's not eating or sleeping much. I don't know how much more she will be able to withstand." Liz replied worriedly.
"I still can't believe any of this is happening. I had just spoken to Alex a couple of days before. Alex was so happy about this baby and her and Liv getting married. She finally had everything she had ever wanted and now…" Serena shook her head and wiped her tears.
Liz pulled the younger woman into a hug. She rubbed her back as she cried. "It's alright to cry, Serena. We know that you love Alexandra too. You two have been like sisters since you were children."
"She's my best friend, Liz. I honestly don't know what I would do without her in my life."
"I know. We just have to keep reminding Alexandra just how important she is to us all. Then we hope and pray that she keeps fighting to stay with us."
A couple of hours later, Olivia was still sitting by the bed with her head resting near Alex's hip. It was getting harder and harder to leave the sleeping blonde. Exhaustion had finally overtaken her and she'd fallen asleep. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and she moaned at the gentle fingers stroking through her hair. She blinked… someone was stroking her hair. She slowly lifted her head, hoping and praying that she was not hallucinating. She wept when she saw the most beautiful blue eyes staring back at her.
"Oh my god… Alex?" Olivia's could barely see through the thick tears falling from her eyes. "You're awake!"
Alex was staring at her through drowsy eyes. Olivia's heart nearly stopped when Alex's eyes drifted closed. A few seconds later, they opened again and Alex appeared to be trying to speak. Her brow furrowed in confusion and the panic showed in her eyes.
"Shhh... hey don't try to talk. The tube was helping you breathe. Just take it easy while I get the doctor." Olivia said turning to leave.
She immediately felt Alex tighten the grip on her hand. She was shaking and the beeping heart monitor increased. Olivia looked down at the blonde and could see the fear in her eyes.
"It's okay, sweetheart. I promise I'm not going anywhere. I just need to let the doctor's know you're awake, okay?."
Alex seemed to calm and managed to nod. Olivia frantically glanced around and saw the call button above the bed. She quickly pushed it. It was a whirlwind of confusion after that as a team of nurses and doctors came storming inside. Olivia had watched anxiously as Alex coughed roughly while the tube was removed from her throat.
After a lengthy exam, a smiling Avery had sat with Olivia and eased her worries. Although Alex would have a long recovery ahead, she would indeed fully recover. She had responded to all the routine sensory checks and had responded to pain and sensation in her legs and arms. The news was enough to make Olivia weak in the knees with relief. She hadn't even allowed herself to think of what she would have done if Alex had woken up unable to move or hadn't woken up at all. That simply wasn't a possibility she had been willing to consider.
After being double-teamed by Liz Donnelly and Julia Harriman, Avery allowed Olivia to bring the baby down for a quick visit. It would be the first time, Alex would see their son. If that didn't lift her patient's spirits and encourage her to get better, nothing would. Alex had held off getting more pain meds so she would be awake long enough to see him. Although it was obvious that Alex was in nearly unbearable pain, she still managed to smile and hold out her hand to touch baby Xander's cheek. Olivia had grinned and introduced them.
"I'd like you to meet your son, James Alexander Benson-Cabot. I think he takes after his mother with this need to be early for everything."
Alex's throat was still scratchy and sore from the ventilator that had been taken out earlier and she was nearly out of breath. "Benson-Cabot?"
"You did ask me to marry you, you know? Don't think a little accident is going to get you out of making an honest woman out of me, Counselor."
"Wouldn't…. dream of… it." She kept her eyes on Xander in complete wonder. "He's…. so beautiful."
"He is pretty handsome, isn't he? I'm afraid we might have our hands full in a few years."
"I… can't wait." Alex said softly before drifting off again.
Olivia allowed the tears in her eyes to fall. She looked down at her son and gently kissed his head while still holding Alex's hand. "She came back to us, Xander. I told you. Your Mama always keeps her promises."
TBC...
Coming Soon: The Long Road Back