AV

Queen's

Piper Chapman

Litchfield Prison

Dear Pipes,

I Love You

I loved you since the first moment I ever laid eyes on you. "We were never friends".

"I heart you" Piper. I see stars and hearts and moons when I think of you. You are my muse. Everything I read every love story there is to tell, every love poem I feel is written just for you. For me and you.

I remember the first time I saw you I just went right up to you and called you Laura Ingalls Wilder and you smiled. And that's the first thing I notice in a woman. How she smiles. How your lips curl under and your eyes light up like wildflowers. And how beautiful the dimples form on your face.

I remember chatting with you for ages at the bar and just wishing you would give someone like me the light of day. I'm the one breaking hearts Piper. I could have any woman I wanted except I wanted you. And I knew it but you might not have known it yet and I knew that I just had to get to know you. Know you. Know every single part every detail of you.

I remember when you were trying to get that job as a waitress I could see right through your lies. I could see right through to your soul when I looked into your bright blue eyes they shone on and on it opened. It opened my heart and for a moment I was terrified you could see into my soul. My soul too and I felt like I was being ripped apart into a million pieces. Torn apart because I had never felt this attached to someone. To anyone at all like this ever before.

When I was with you I felt like I was high when I was clean I was drunk when I was sober I was on top of the world in the lowest of lows and low and behold you were there for me to hold at the end of the day I. I wanted you. I wanted you to be the one I came home to every, single, day because I felt like I was dreaming, dreaming the best dream I could ever dream with you Piper.

Years ago when we were in Cambodia I would stay awake all night and listen to the rise and fall of your chest besides me. I would keep my eyes open not wanting to waste a second of being near you. You were so peaceful in your sleep then I would tangle your hair in my fingers as if it were solid gold. I would touch your skin as if it were beauty itself. I would wonder why your gaze would melt me on every occasion. I would wonder why on earth I deserved this perfect girl who looked at me as if I were the sun.

I've only loved two people in my life. Piper and Diane. And you are one and the same in some ways. In my mind I knew you were just like my mother working all those hours in that shity cafe strugglng for you independance. You wouldn't take no for an answer so you had so much ambition and drive I would drive you around sometimes and we'd have the best of days. Days spent just in a car talking about every book we both read which felt like everything.

We would go in second hand bookstores and flea markets and you'd have milk in your coffee and I'd always think it was the sweetest thing though I teased you relentlessly. Once you got drunk for the first time you lightweight you and I carried you home up six floors of our apartment and had you drink lemonade and crawl into my arms. I would trace shapeless patterns on your neck on your spine as shapeless emotions formed in my consciousness.

I would "forget" to wear gloves going out to a show just so you would hold my hand and I would trace hearts along your palm. I would hope and pray you would just think my hands were always that sweaty and not because you were the only girl I ever felt nervous around. "I wanted you to like me, I still do".

Like I mentioned it before I assumed we would be forever. Diane did too. She gave me her blessing long long ago when she first met you. When Diane first met you we were at a coffee shop back home. She already knew I liked you. I never admitted it yet, but somehow she always knew. Diane just gave us a "well imagine that" sort of look after she told you about all the embarrassing things I did as a kid.

You know I never told you this, but once my mom said this amazing phrase to me, that "Lovers Never Meet, their souls are in each other from the very beginning". I never believed her, and then I met you and somehow I did. I've travelled all over the world Piper and I truly believe no matter where we were we would have a connection.

"I think when you have a connection with someone, it never goes away. You snap back to being important to each other because you still are". Your eyes lit up all bright when I whispered this that day we were playing cards. They didn't smell at all, and I know you don't cheat at cards. But I know you would want to protest and I know I wanted to let you win. Win the game win the tease win my heart.

My heart was bursting when your hands were on mine for that minute. I missed that touch every day when we were separated. I missed it when you were in a separate bunk or a separate bed or what felt like a separate universe before we were reunited again.

You brought out the best in me. All my life I feel I have this inner conflict where my body and mind want me to be like Diane or like Lee Burley. My mom always taught me everything to make it so I would grow up good with what little we had. But Its like I was destined for bad things right from the beginning. I was born addicted to heroin. Did you know that? I was in the hospital for months. I pulled through.

But that pull towards drugs was always there. I thought when I was selling I was in control. The power made me feel great like I had won over this demon. But it working. Most days now I feel like I grew up to be like my father. I'm not proud of that.

When I was with you I thought I had enough. I thought I was enough. Enough to be worth caring about, worth fighting for. When you were my little spoon "Come be my little spoon" I realized that there was a soulmate out for me, someone to fit perfectly in the crook of my neck in the space between my arms in the space in the place where I most dearly needed her.

You made me a better person. You showed me more honesty, more trust, more emotion more connection I ever thought I would have. You showed me what I find real in this world.

Even if you hate me, which you don't I know you don't I will never regret running into you ten years on. I'm sorry for it Piper, I'm sorry for all of it. If I could do it over I honestly really would. You were right all along, right that I should quit my job, save my earnings. Put you first, the love of my life first.

I saw it flash before your eyes twice, I know you were honest when you told me "I love you" despite what you said afterwards. I know you don't hate me. I loved when you said you were confused by me it makes my body ache to know how much you still crave me. How much power we have over each other still.

I was never more scared then when I was waiting for you in the airport in Brussels. I joked to hide how afraid I was that Kubra was going to have you killed. I already couldn't imagine life without you. I was already going to take every risk if I could in your place. That's why I made you lie at your trial, to keep you safe "This is the only way I can keep you safe now".

This is why I wanted to get Kubra arrested, to keep him locked up and away, away from you. I know it didn't work out, but I really did try and I really did have good reasons, always good intentions when it comes to you.

I can't leave you Piper. You're even more addicting than heroin. Your body is mescaline and heroin and speed and weed and crack cocaine all at once. My eyes are drawn to you my hands I can't keep them off of you when you touched my sweater in the waiting room I was on fire with desire to stay there forever.

"Don't leave, I have no one left" you pleaded.

Piper I'm writing this on the train back to Queen's. When I get there I'm going to come back to you. I can't leave you. I love you too much. I'll miss you too much. I don't care about the risks. Living without you is not living, not really I'll do anything for you.

So please, I will be coming. I will be coming back, coming home. You are home to me wherever we are. Give me a week and I'll stay safe. But I'll come visit. I'll come visit every week and then on if I have to. I'll fight for your release. I'll stay until you're free.

I had a wedding planned. I can't believe it, I don't do weddings. And I would, I would with you.

I had a ring for you, I was going to propose on that trip in Paris. That's why I was so secretive. THat's what I was hiding. I wanted forever and ever and happily ever after. So much I would get down on one knee and ask you to marry me. I had the tiffany's box under your passport. Hidden you never saw it. But it was there. Still there. I still have it. I'll give it to you someday soon.

If I die before you receive this, then let it be my final blessing to you.

Piper Elizabeth Chapman,

You are the love of my life.

-Alex Vause

AN: This is the end of the story as we know it. After much pleading in the reviews I thought we all needed one final fluff. All the letters have lead up to this.

Many people have asked about an active Piper in this series. Stay tuned, there will be more. Some amazing reviewer suggested a great idea and you shall fined out next sunday. Have a great weekend everyone!

The end of part 1 of my first fanfiction. Its been a ride 3

-Bobbiejelly