Warnings:Chapter contains a homosexual incestual relationship. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Rating: M

Summary:. What happens when she gets her wish and Tegan finds herself in an alternate reality where Sara is her girlfriend, and not her sister? Will be a LONG fic, updated often.

A/N: This will be the last chapter sans-Beta. Thank you breakyourownheart for offering your services. This is also the last chapter of set-up so expect a story shift in chapter 4. Thanks for all the reviews. I'm trying to update daily right now, but will be going on a spiritual retreat with my prayer group for a little bit mid-august and won't be able to update. Eventually I'll try to regulate updates to once or twice a week on specific days. Anyways, keep reviewing, (I love me some love) and enjoy.

Disclaimer: COMPLETELY FICTIONAL!

Chapter 3- Fighter

Tegan's POV

I felt Sara's shoulder brush mine as I inhaled another breath of the thick, humid August air. The sun was still out and the temperature was still high. I smiled over at her, happy to have a stomach full of chicken fingers and to be carrying a bag full of rented movies for tomorrow. Sara had done a complete 180 after my mock dinner date with her. Maybe it was the duck, or the wine. Yeah, it was probably the wine.

"That hit the spot" I said. "You still tired?"

She shook her head and looked passed me towards one of the shops that lined the sidewalk to my right.

"Can we stop for coffee?" She asked.

I checked my watch. "Sara, it's like 8pm."

"I want dessert coffee."

"Dessert coffee?"

"Yeah, like a caramel, chocolate truffle Frappuccino: dessert coffee."

I shrugged and pushed the door to the coffee shop open. I held the door open for Sara who shot me a dazzling smile.

"You're such a gentleman."

"I try." I replied with my own gummy smile.

Sara brushed passed me, her shoulder grazing my chest, inadvertently grazing a nipple. It sent shudders through my whole body. My heart rate automatically picked up. I tried to catch an expression on her face, to see if she noticed but she walked right over to the line, turned around, and beckoned me to follow her. I followed the request and took up a place behind her in line. I turned to the display beside me, needing a distraction while I tried to gather my thoughts for a minute. I picked up the reusable travel mug and studied it intently. I could feel the heat of Sara's back on the shoulder closest to her. I could hear her breathing, even amidst the hustle and bustle of the busy coffee shop. I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths, trying to steady my mind, but all I could smell was Sara. Her laundry detergent, mixed with the smell of her dryer sheets and her perfume. Underneath it all, was that smell that was distinctly Sara and always had been. Had I really noticed how she smelt before? I must have, because just the smell of her stirs up so many memories.

My mind clouds over, as I can still feel the butterflies from just standing next to Sara. And that nipple brush. Fuck! If that's what it feels like when her shoulder accidentally grazes one nipple, imagine her whole hand on one of my breasts, massaging, circling. I swallow hard and feel my body flush and tingle. Imagine her inside of me. I think I might faint just from the thought. My eyes flutter dreamily, and I sway slightly. I feel a hand on my shoulder and it pulls me from the daydream but does nothing to help my arousal.

"Tegan, are you okay?"

It's Sara, steadying me. I look up and meet her eyes. She looks really worried. I do my best to snap out of it. I really don't like when she gets that look. I don't want her to worry. I smile and nod.

"I'm fine, just tired. Think I might get an extra shot in mine."

Sara's POV

I make sure to keep a firm hold on Tegan's shoulder. I can tell from her face that she's been overanalyzing that nipple brush. I smile inwardly. She really has no idea. I saw the opportunity and pounced. If I can do this to her with just that…I wonder how loud I could make her scream.

I really am concerned because she scared the crap out of me when I saw her on the verge of passing out, but she seems to have come down from it. I wonder what changed this for her? It's been so long since I've allowed myself to think like this. It feels so freeing to be able to think these, knowing she's thinking the same things. Times like these I'm glad that I've taken the time to get to know myself, and turn inwardly. It's helped me be able to read people really well. Add that to the fact that I've spent my whole life by her side, and I can tell every thought that crosses her mind solely on her face. Tegan hasn't spent that kind of time with herself yet. Not that it would really help. I'm very good at masking my emotions. I've had to be good at it. It was a survival instinct. I would have been eaten alive if when I started feeling like this about her, it showed on my face. Eaten. Alive. This world is full of vultures waiting for their next picking. It's funny how you can have an entire monologue inside your head in seconds. Something that would take a half an hour to speak, you can think to yourself in moments. Because it's just been that since I steadied my twin: seconds. My mind returns to the conversation we were having.

"I think you need a good night's sleep more than another shot."

"You're probably right, but I'd rather get a second shot, and go to sleep a little later than passing out on the walk home."

"Good idea. See, you're sometimes smart." I tease.

"Not as smart as you" she compliments.

Flirty Tegan is awesome! All I can do is smile coyly and blush as she turns back to the display. The line starts to move and it's about time. I watch as the customer who just ordered is handed four trays of drinks. I hate when people do that.

The way I saw it, I could do two things with the new Tegan situation: 1) Take her home and ravish her, while risking revealing myself or 2) to play with it. Drive her nuts until she can't help but admit it first, all the while not letting her know what I'm feeling. I'm thinking the latter. Here's the thing: even if she did feel the same way, there's no guarantee she won't flip out anyways.

People are weird like that. Sometimes they forget about what they want because they've been trained that they need to flip out during certain situations, even if they feel the same way. Like if you like it up the bum. You may like it, but refuse to admit it out loud, and if someone does it, it feels good, but you feel like you have to protest because well…it's just not "acceptable".

I think I might like it up the bum, I've never tried it. It was always one of those things that I never trusted someone enough to do, but as I glance back at Tegan, carefully examining the menu board now, I'm welcomed with the memories of her always helping me up when I fell, and holding me up higher, and pulling me out of the shadows. I'm reminded of the nights spent shaking together in our beds as kids because of the thunder outside; I'm reminded of my first asthma attack, and how she never took her hand off my back, rubbing small circles whispering how it would be okay; I'm reminded of my breakup with Emy, and how vulnerable and fragile I was, but she was right there by my side, whatever I needed. I've never had to feel afraid with her.

I feel two hands grip my shoulders firmly from behind and welcome the tug out of my thoughts. I can't help but smile. As quickly as the hands appeared, they've gone. I turn slightly back to face her, as she's still scanning the menu. I cover my mouth as a cough escapes my lips. I take a deep breath in.

"Know what you're getting?" I ask.

She scrunches her nose and bites her bottom lip.

"I'm thinking about a Mocha mint."

"Extra espresso shot?"

"You've got it sister"

I smile and walk up to the counter, taking my turn. After I order I turn back to Tegan.

"And a large Mocha mint Frappuccino with an extra shot of espresso."

If Tegan wanted to act like she was on a date with me fine, but I was going to play too. I watched as she raised an eyebrow. I gave her a smile and raised both of mine back. She ordered, I payed, then she turned to me.

"So you won't let me buy you dinner, but you'll buy me coffee?"

Oh this was going to be fun. I was going to drive her wild until her knees just buckled and she fell into a pool at my feet. And boy did I know how to rope Tegan. I had years of conversations with my twin about what draws her in. Giving a little then taking it away and making her work and question the whole thing was Tegan's quicksand. Keep her guessing, never let her know where you stand.

"Geez Tegan, it's just coffee. You know most people would just say: thank you."

"Thank you."

She was full of surprises tonight. We were handed our coffees and we each took a sip. I coughed again, rougher this time.

"Fuck, I hope I'm not getting sick."

'If you get sick, then I'm for sure going to get sick, so no getting sick!"

I coughed just as she finished the sentence. Tegan shook her head, sipping her drink as we stepped outside into the burning heat.

"It's so humid out here. Makes it hard to breathe." I say

Tegan pouts "Aww, do you need your puffer?"

I chuckle and give her a playful shove as she starts to laugh.

"Mongrel."

"I try."

Just then my phone rings. I reach into my pocket and answer it without checking the caller ID. It's Stacy. I freeze and hold up a finger to Tegan, telling her to wait one minute before mouthing Stacy's name. She nods and sits on the bench as I round the corner.

Tegan's POV

I sighed, looking out into the early evening. Sara was right, it was hard breathing in this heat. The air felt heavy. I can't wait to get back to Sara's air conditioned apartment. I wonder if she's breaking up with Stacy. The selfish part of me wants that to be exactly what she's doing. But there's the side of me that wants her to just be happy. For a while there I thought the flirting was retuned, but I think it was just me projecting. There's no way Sara returns these feelings. If I can't make her happy, than I'm glad she has Stacy. Besides, I have Lindsey and despite all these feelings, I do love her. I haven't said anything to Sara or Lindsey herself yet, but I think that she might be cheating on me with Kaki. Well, I know. I kind of walked in on them. They didn't see me though, and I'd rather be with Lindsey than not be with Lindsey. She's the only thing stopping me from being stupid and trying to be with Sara. Well, and Sara herself.

I take a long suck from the straw of my drink. Good choice Tegan, this mocha mint is legit. I spot a rock by my feet and give it a kick. Maybe when she falls asleep I can spoon her. I know Sara hates prolonged cuddling, especially with her weird thing about sharing a bed. I'm surprised she offered to share hers with me. That was weird. But if I do it when she's asleep, I can make it seem like an accident. Do I dare?

Sara came back around the corner, putting her phone back in her pocket. I stood up, ready to keep walking.

"How's Stacy?"

Then she did something Sara never does. She didn't say anything and walked right into my arms, burying her face in my neck and hugging me tightly. It took a few moments for me to process what was happening. Sara was hugging me. And it wasn't a "Lets please the fans" kind of hug either. It wasn't for jokes. She wanted my comfort. I finally comprehended what was happening and hugged her back, dropping my cheek to the top of her head. Oh man, she was so close. Pressed completely to me and I can feel her breath on my neck, right over my pulse point. Almost like she was doing this on purpose.

Sara's POV

I smiled in the embrace, trying my best not to laugh and succeeding. Tegan's reaction was priceless. Absolutely priceless. Then she kind of…wrapped me up. I always knew she was bigger than me, but I didn't realize just how much. Now, I'm used to feeling small but I felt so tiny in her arms. While I was busy thinking about how small I was in Tegan's arms, my body had an idea of its own and set fire, my heart squeezing in my chest, cramping from the overwhelming emotion. I took a hard swallow and let myself let go of her. She lingered just a moment longer before backing off, keeping her hands on my shoulders and looking me in the eyes. She didn't expect to see me smiling. It made her chuckle, which made me chuckle back.

"You alright, Sare?"

"Yeah. I just umm…I just broke up with Stacy."

"And this is a good thing?"

"I feel so much lighter." I sighed in relief then let a big smile grace my face. "Lets get home. It's too hot."

Tegan nodded and we started to walk, side by side. Shoulders, elbows, hands, brushing past each other. We were in front of my building when I noticed that the cramp in my chest hadn't gone away, and that the coughing had gotten worse. I didn't think too much of it and kept walking, but once we reached my floor, I started to wheeze, unable to get enough air. Tegan stopped as I bent over, trying to breathe.

"Sara? Sara are you having an attack?" I could tell she was panicked.

I nodded and handed her the keys. She fumbled with them, then opened the door, running in. I tried to take slow, deep breaths, but couldn't help the squeezing feeling in my chest. I watched as Tegan frantically opened the closet (where my carry-on from the plane was hastily stashed), dropped the bag of movies on the ground in the closet, dug through the bag and pulled out my puffer. She slammed the closet door, crushing the bag as she ran to me, shaking the medicated inhaler. I was just starting to get lightheaded as I felt the plastic between my lips, and a strong hand, steady on the back of my head. In this moment of pure panic, she was exactly what I needed. She calmed me. I couldn't be afraid with her this near, I just couldn't.

"Easy, I've got you." She stated warmly, standing slight behind and to the left of me.

The next inhale was laced with the medicated aerosol. I breathed it in eagerly and held it, closing my eyes as I felt the tightness start to subside.

"That's it. It's alright Sasa. I'm right here."

I breathed it out and took another puff. My breathing was regulating, and I closed my eyes. I felt her body relax when she realized I was okay. I was so tired. She put the inhaler in her pocket, and then wrapped the hand that was holding it around me, pulling me just inside the apartment, out of the hallway. She shut the door, and wrapped me up again, her back sliding down the door to sit on the floor, bringing me with her. All I could do was rest my head on her chest and close my eyes as I felt her arms surround me, one hand rubbing up and down the length of my back. I sighed.

"Better?"

I nodded.

"Do you need to go to the hospital?" Tegan asked, concerned.

I shook my head and felt Tegan run her hand through my hair.

Tegan's POV

I nuzzled the top of her head. I've been there for her asthma attacks before, but I've never been alone with her during one. Usually mum or the band were around. And Sara usually carried her inhaler in her pocket. That scared the shit out of me. My heart hit the floor; I didn't have time to think. I just ran, and acted. I still don't quite know how we ended up on the floor, or how she ended up curled up with her head on my chest, but I was so intensely in the moment. The adrenaline still pumping. I wasn't reasoning, I was still just acting. I kissed her forehead and sighed, wrapping her up just a little tighter. I closed my eyes hard and a couple tears fell without my consent, and tried to snuff them back. She felt the sniffle go through my chest and backed out of the embrace just enough to look up at me. She looked at me with an expression I have yet to know an emotion for.

"Are you crying?"

I bit my lip, and turned sideways, trying to hide the tears as I let go of her to roughly wipe away the droplets from my cheek with my forearm.

"Tegan, wh…."

"Sara, I'm in love with you!" I proclaimed loudly, cutting her off. I froze.

Sara just gave a small smile and the faintest chuckle. "I love you too."

Do I explain or take the out I thought Sara was offering me? I wish I could read her. Well, I was already being brave and reckless, might as well continue.

"No, Sara, like I love you, love you."

She smiled wider and…cuddled back into me? "I know."

What? She knew? How could she…?

"I've been messing with you all night. You're too easy Tegan."

"You have?"

"Well, once I figured out that you decided we were on a date- which I never consented to by the way so thanks for the notice Tegs- I thought I'd have some fun." I felt her take a deep breath "I thought if I was the one to come out with it, you'd run away with your tail between your legs."

"I don't have a tail!" I exclaimed

"It's a figure of speech."

"Wait, what do you mean if you came out with it first?"

"If I was the one to tell you how I felt before I let you warm up to it."

"Hold up. You have feelings for me? When did that start?"

"Janet's 13th birthday party. When you spun the bottle and it landed on Randy Sims."

"My first kiss?"

"I was so jealous!"

"You've been in love with me since we were 13? Why didn't you say something?"

"Are you kidding me? And miss out on our career together? Miss making music, not to mention mum. I mean it's one thing to be having this conversation at 30, in my apartment. It's another to have it at 13 in my room in mum's house."

"Holy shit, Sara! Mum! What are we going to tell her?"

Sara gulped. "We're not, because nothing's going to happen. We can't be together Tegan. Besides, you've got Lindsey."

"Lindsey's cheating on me with Kaki."

"What?" Sara asked, disbelievingly.

"She's cheating on me. Four months ago, Kaki was staying with us while she was touring through LA. They thought I was in the shower, but I forgot my new shampoo in the bedroom. I went to grab it, and just as I cracked the door open, I saw them on our bed."

"You're telling me you opened that creaky old bathroom door, and they didn't hear you?"

I clear my throat. "They weren't exactly being quiet. I just shut the door and used the old shampoo."

"So Lindsey doesn't know you know?"

"That's right." I answered

"But Lindsey's on tour with Kaki right now…" she trailed off coming to the realization. I thought I'd be nice and explain it so she didn't' have to ask.

"I'm fine with it Sara, I'd just rather have her like this than not at all."

Sara looked at me, worried. She rubbed my arm, now sitting cross-legged across from me.

"Tegan, trust me I get being able to be non-monogamous, but it's just…it's just not the you I know. Are you sure you're okay with this?"

I swallowed hard and felt the emotion I'd been supressing for months well up and I had no control over the waterworks that followed as I shook my head. And I did with Sara, what I can do with only her. I opened up completely and freely.

"I cried for an hour in the shower. Sara, I've been trying so hard to be okay with this. But now, I've got you. Sara, I just want you." I reached over and took her hand in mine, lacing our fingers. We both closed our eyes and took in shaky breaths at the flickers of electricity that shot through us. "I just want you."

"I've waited so long for you to say that." Sara dropped my hand, reached over and pulled my head towards her, tucking it under her chin and holding me close as I adjusted my position to let her hold me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and brought my knees to my chest, sobbing into her. It was her turn to run her hand through my hair and down my back as she left soft kisses on top of my head.

"You can't let her get away with that Tegan, not when it hurts you like this. You need to talk to her about it." Sara swallowed hard. "We can never be together Tegan. As much as I want to, we just can't. We can hug, and cuddle, and hold hands, and kiss foreheads and cheeks and shoulders, and hands, but we can't be together."

I felt the anger well up and I pulled away from her angrily, raising my voice. "Why the hell not?"

"Because we're sisters!" she yelled back.

"So?"

"So I want to have a house with someone and babies. And I've fought so hard to be able to be open and honest about my relationships and introduce them as my girlfriend. I'll never have that with you."

I sighed. She was right. I knew she was right. But I also knew that I'd never let her go so easily. I may be a crier, but I'm also a fighter.