The name "Feenie" still rung throughout the courtroom.
"Dahlia?" Phoenix said.
"Yeah?" Dahlia said.
"Take this guy down," Phoenix said.
Dahlia smirked. "You got it buddy."
The caretaker dozed peacefully.
"Hey!" Dahlia shouted curtly.
"Wha?" the caretaker said.
"Are you always like this?" Dahlia said.
"Like what?" the man said, rhythmically swaying.
Dahlia glared at him. "Whatever. Now then, I'm not mistaken. You're misleading."
"Look here, I got nothing to do with this," the caretaker said. "Polly picks up phrases from TV sometimes, in fact just the other day she wouldn't stop talking about some moisturizing soap. I bet she overheard a news anchor."
"But…" Dahlia was at a loss for words. He can't just brush it off that easy! That's just… not fair! She looked at Lana, who was standing rigid and stoic. Come on Lana, I know you want to bag this guy!
"Sorry for all the confusion," the caretaker said. "But I need to get back to the Wet Noodle. Once this whole thing is over we'll be opening up shop again soon. Maybe we'll finally get someone who wants pasta and not a boat."
"No! You can't leave yet!" Dahlia said.
"Ms. Hawthorne, I'm afraid there's no reason for him stay on the witness stand if there's nothing else for him to testify about," the judge said, looking sympathetic.
I have to think fast! Dahlia looked through the court record. "Nick, help me look through the evidence."
Phoenix nodded his head. "Okay, um, we got…"
Dahlia grazed through the evidence with a laser like focus, but in the back of her mind she couldn't help but think of how useful her assistant had been throughout this case. I'm going to need all the help I can get against this loon. Honestly, for someone who calls his boat rental shop a pasta place... As her preconscious wandered, her eyes landed on the evidence that connected everything together.
She swiped the evidence and faced the courtroom again. "It seems we've gotten a little off track, and because of that we've forgotten a few important facts."
"Important facts?" Lana said.
"There are still many mysteries that need to be solved in this case," Dahlia said. She presented the photo. "For instance, the missing motorboat!"
The crowd began to murmur, only to be silenced by the judge.
"The case itself is far from over," Dahlia said. "And we need to hear this man's testimony on the matter! Specifically, the very boats his shop is known for!"
The judge put his head down, pondering the request. "Does the prosecution have any objections?"
Lana's face was unreadable. "No, Your Honor."
"Very well then," the judge said. "Witness, testify about the boat's you've rented recently."
"Okey-doke," the caretaker said.
Testimony
Well, what with the weather things have been pretty slow in the boat renting department.
Starting from about a week ago, I rented out my motorboat.
After that, things got quiet for a little while.
You'd think it would boost pasta sales, but no such luck.
Then of course there was the old dingy the victim and the defendant rented.
"Hmm, this all seems to fit," the judge said. "Ms. Hawthorne, you may begin your cross-examination."
"Yes Your Honor," Dahlia said. Okay, I've managed to keep him on the witness stand for a little longer. I'll have to make the most of it.
Cross-Examination
Well, what with the weather things have been pretty slow in the boat renting department.
"Hold it!" Dahlia said. "You you mean that because it's been getting colder less people are renting boats?"
"Ayup," the caretaker said. "That's how I know I'm remembering everything."
"Because there were so few people coming in?" Dahlia said.
"Ayup, it happens a lot," the caretaker said. "As soon as it gets below 60 it seems like no one's up for boat riding."
You'd think it would boost pasta sales, but no such luck.
"Hold it!" Dahlia said. She paused. You know what; I'm not having this conversation. It's not worth it.
Starting from about a week ago, I rented out my motorboat.
"Hold it!" Dahlia said. "Are you positive it was that long ago?"
"Pretty sure, 5 or 6 maybe even 7 days," the caretaker said.
I'm not going to get anywhere with this. The defense attorney put her hands in her pockets. "Who did you rent it to?"
"Uhh," the caretaker mulled it over. "Can't recall them giving me a name."
"Can you give a physical description?" Dahlia said.
"Well, they wore a coat," the caretaker said.
Not going to get anywhere with this either apparently. Dahlia sighed internally. "Do you remember anything else about this person?"
"Sure do," the caretaker said. "The bloke lost the darn thing! I still haven't found it!"
"I believe the witness is referring to the motorboat that was crashed into Gourd Woods," Lana said.
Yeah, that's what I thought. Dahlia frowned. I need another way of proving the boat was rented the night of the murder. No way Yogi's telling me anything.
After that, things got quiet for a little while.
"Hold it!" Dahlia said. "What do you mean by that?"
"No one showed up," the caretaker said. "It was just me and Polly."
"For so many days?" Dahlia said.
"Ayup," the caretaker said. "I thought it was going to be an easy holiday this time around."
"I suppose not many people think of boat riding when they think of Christmas," Dahlia said.
"Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?" the caretaker said wistfully. A blinked a couple times, then nodded off.
Ugh, where's Franziska and her whip when you need her? I'll just have to improvise. Dahlia found a rubber band and stretched it between her fingers. Aiming carefully, she released it and the rubber band snapped between the old man's eyes.
"Yow!" the caretaker exclaimed.
"So, you were saying?" Dahlia said conversationally.
"Where was I… oh yeah," the caretaker said.
Then of course there was the old dingy the victim and the defendant rented.
"Hold it!" Dahlia said. "How clearly do you remember that?"
"Pretty well I suppose," the caretaker said. "It seemed very tense, neither of that looked like they were in much of a good mood."
Yeah, the victim doesn't strike me as much of a smiler. Dahlia decided to press further. "Was there anything else significant?"
"Well," the caretaker mulled it over. "Let's see, those 2 men came in, which was quite a surprise. I didn't really think staying open late would pay off. The older gent was in charge, he made that pretty clear."
"You seem to remember the encounter rather well," Dahlia said.
"It stuck out in my mind," the caretaker said. "They were interesting enough folks. Plus, they were the first customers I'd had in a while. Heck, my first customers all week."
"Oh?" Dahlia said. "I suppose that explains it then."
"Ayup," the caretaker said.
"Perhaps the witness could add this clarification to his testimony Your Honor?" Dahlia said.
"I see no reason not to," the judge said. "Witness?"
"Okay," the caretaker said.
I remember them so well because they were the only people I'd seen all week.
"Objection!" Dahlia said. "You've just dug your own grave, mister."
"Huh?" the caretaker said.
"Humans are funny," Dahlia said. "When they lie, they add extra details just to make themselves sound more convincing. It doesn't always work though, sometimes it backfires on them and they slip up."
The caretaker seemed to be having a difficult time processing what the defense attorney had just said.
"Let me spell it out for the court," Dahlia said. "You just said the defendant and the victim were the only customers you'd had in a long time correct?"
"… Ayup," the caretaker said wearily.
"But a few minutes ago, you said you had someone come in and rent your motorboat," Dahlia said smugly.
The old man never stopped swaying. "I guess I did. My mistake."
"Your mistake indeed," Dahlia said. "So tell us, why did your story change so suddenly? Are you trying to hide something?"
"What would I have to hide?" the caretaker.
"Take your pick," Dahlia said. "You lied about the motorboat, which leads me to think that it was taken out to the lake under much more suspicious circumstances. Say, the night of the murder? That would bring much suspicion to that particular person. Why would you want to cover that up? Do you have a reason to want to protect that person, who may very well be Manfred von Karma's killer?"
The caretaker said nothing, moving in perfect rhythm.
"Now, what reason would you have to do that?" Dahlia said, feeling on top of the world. "Do you have some kind of grudge against the victim? Maybe a past client?"
The man stopped moving, and stood up straight. His eyes lost their foggy glaze, and were replaced by a hard and serious gaze. "Well played. Wish you had been my defense attorney 15 years ago."
Everyone in the courtroom flinched, except for Dahlia. At last, we see the true Yanni Yogi.
"You got me," Yanni said. "My name is Yanni Yogi. 15 years ago, in this very courthouse, I was tried for the murder of a young girl. My lawyer got me an acquittal, but I wasn't proved innocent in the slightest. I cursed the name Manfred von Karma from that day on, can't say I'm sorry to see him go."
"You… you really are… him," Lana said breathlessly.
"I always have been," Yanni said. "I told von Karma I was innocent countless times, but I know he didn't really believe me. I doubt I'm the only one of his clients who doesn't regret his passing. My only regret is that I wasn't the one to do it."
"Eh?" Dahlia said.
"I said I didn't kill him," Yanni said. "I was shocked when I saw that face again. I may have lied about my identity, but that's it."
"What about the motorboat?" Dahlia said. "Was I right about that?"
"No use hiding it, that was rented out an hour or two before von Karma and that boy in the defendant's chair came in," Yanni said.
"And who was it that rented the motorboat?" Dahlia said.
"That I honestly don't know," Yanni said. "They wore a cloak that covered everything."
"You must know something!" Dahlia said. "What about their voice? They must have spoken to you to rent a boat, was it a male or female voice?"
Yanni was silent for a minute, which stretched into an eternity for Dahlia. Finally, he spoke. "Would that really help you track down the killer?"
"Of course it would!" Dahlia said. "Knowing the gender of the killer is vital in confirming their identity!"
"You really think this person is the killer, not the defendant?" Yanni said.
"Without a doubt in my mind!" Dahlia said. "Someone renting a boat right before the murder to took is too coincidental to not be suspicious!"
Yanni's facial expression never changed. "I suppose it is."
"Objection!"
Everyone in the courtroom stared at the person who had burst in and objected. Dahlia's mouth hung open. Why…?
"Uh, like, hey everyone. Was that, like, okay?" Ini said.
"What the heck are you doing here?" Dahlia said, spastically.
"Okay, like, Uncle guy I don't know what you're talking about," Ini said. "Like, I saw the murder happen. And it's kind of, like, not the same as what you said. I saw that guy over there, uh, Harry Butz or something, like, kill the other guy."
"You what?" Dahlia said, feeling like she was about to implode. Curse you Valley Girl! Go back to Twinkle Town!
"Are you serious young lady?" the judge said, looking confused beyond belief.
"Like, yeah," Ini said. "So can I, like, testify now?"
"Well, uh, witnesses should be brought to the court's attention before the trial…" the judge said.
"But, like, I already am," Ini said, circling around her temples. "Right, Ms. Skye?"
"Uh," Lana looked at her records.
Wait…
Ini rubbed her temples, apparently thinking hard. "Oh that. Like, the police people were talking to me and stuff about this thing a couple nights ago."
"The night of the murder?" Dahlia said.
"That thing with a guy killing another guy?" Ini said. "Yeah that."
"Yes, we do have her listed as a witness," Lana said.
"See?" Ini said. "So can I, like, talk or whatever now?"
"I think this would be a good time for a recess," the judge said. "I need a minute to process this, the prosecution needs to prepare the witness, and the defense…"
"Needs a few minutes too Your Honor," Dahlia said. I completely forgot she was a witness.
"Alright then," the judge said. "This court will reconvene in 20 minutes."
The judge slammed his gavel, and for the time being, that was that.