Warnings: TRIGGERS IN THIS CHAPTER!TRIGGER WARNING! TRIGGER WARNING! TRIGGER WARNING! CONTAINS SCENES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, RAPE, AND MURDER. Chapter contains a homosexual incestual relationship and sexual content between two women. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Rating: M
Summary:. What happens when she gets her wish and Tegan finds herself in an alternate reality where Sara is her girlfriend, and not her sister? Will be a LONG fic, updated often.
A/N: From the reviews I've already gotten…people are pissed! Lol. It's okay. I can deal. However, I thought I'd ease your minds a little by posting this one quickly. The drama's far from over, there's still lots of bad to come from this all, but be happy with the happy for now. Thank you so much for reviewing. Read. Review. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: COMPLETELY FICTIONAL!
In case you missed it: TRIGGER WARNING! CONTAINS SCENES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, RAPE, AND MURDER.
Chapter 24 – Just Get Her Home.
I finished the song, then stepped up to the mic.
"Give it up for Sara. Playing guitar while it's a foot away from you is hard. Isn't it love?" I joked.
I turned, wanting to see her reaction. I saw her sway instead. The arena was silent. A moment later, she was falling over. Panic rose in me again.
I ripped off my guitar, throwing it to the ground as I ran over. The audience gasped. I let my body slide in next to hers.
"Sara!" I called out, taking her guitar off.
Her eyes were closed. Security was coming over, so were paramedics. I shielded her body. I didn't trust anyone. She needed help. My heart beat was everywhere, I started to sweat. What do I do?
"EMY!" I scream out "EMY!"
The paramedics move in and I snap at them "Don't touch her. EMY!".
They back off, then I finally see Emy running over. I move so Emy has access to my wife. I fall back onto my bum, and try to control my breathing. The air was so thick. My , lungs were so small. My heart was huge. Sara's dead. Sara's dead. I'm going to die. Sara's dead. My heart can't beat properly without her. I can't get a full breath. Hunter put his hand on my shoulder and I smacked it away. The audience just stared in awe. I felt like the air was jello, everything moving slowly, nothing making sense. For some reason, Wrists was playing through my mind. It was all I could hear. I stared blankly at Sara, and Emy working frantically. I couldn't process any of this. She was fine. She was bantering with me all night. She was fine. Then she just…I gulped. They get her on a stretcher, and start to move her away. I just sat there, losing my shit, in the middle of the stage, everyone staring at me. Eventually I calmed down, but left. I just left my body. I don't remember Johnny getting up from the drumkit, walking over, and picking me up. I don't remember Ted talking to the audience. I don't remember sitting in the ambulance.
When I came around, I was sitting straight as a board in the hospital. Emy was in my face.
"Tegan. Tegan you need to come back. Sara needs you, okay? You can't just disappear." She told me softly.
I turned to look at her and she sighed in relief.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
I shook my head. Emy gave me a hug, and I just let her, not hugging back. I saw a flash and looked to the window, seeing paparazzi. I felt the rage and jumped up. Emy held me down. I tried to fight her, letting out animalistic growls and grunts. She held me down.
"Tegan, stop. That won't turn out well. Just take a breather. I want to talk to you about Sara. She's fine Tegan, she's okay." Emy told me, hitting something deep inside me.
I settled down, breathing heavy and looking at her hopefully. I slowly started to come back to myself.
"She's okay. She was probably complaining of a headache most of the day yesterday, was probably lethargic and dizzy." Emy noted. I nodded, and she mirrored that. She kept a hand on my shoulder as she looked into my eyes. "She was severely dehydrated."
I gulped, thinking back to the day. But she'd drunk lots of…no, that was me. I thought back to her uncapping a water for me, to me drinking at the Ellen show. The only thing she drank yesterday was two sips of that hot chocolate. I felt deeply ashamed and guilty.
"She's gonna be okay. They gave her some fluids, we checked on the baby. She fell on her side, and the little one was nice and cushioned in the amniotic fluid. It's okay Tegan, you're family's fine. They want to keep her for a few days just for observation." Emy notified me.
I shook my head just as another paparazzi snapped a shot. What were they taking pictures of? I looked beyond Emy's shoulder and saw her. Sara. My perfect Sara, fast asleep in the hospital bed. Then the sound of her heart monitor came into focus, and I could see her breathing. I let out a giant exhale and it all came into perspective.
"Not here." I told Emy "I just want to go home" Tears filled my eyes as the weight of the past few weeks crashed down around me. "I should have listened to her, all the times she said she just wanted to go home. To just be in out tub, in our bed." I sobbed and dropped my head to my hands. Emy rubbed my back "I'm horrible." I felt so guilty.
"No you're not, Tegan. All the boys have been talking about is what good care you've taken of Sara. This one's on her. You're not her parent. It's not your job to make sure she drinks water or eats, or gets enough sleep. She's an adult. And if she truly wanted to go home, she would have stated that blatantly. Isn't it normal tour talk to be like "Man, I wish I was at home, eating Doritos and watching Dog Whisperer right now?" Emy asked.
I shrugged and Emy sighed, rubbing down my arms. Another paparazzi snapped a picture. I growled.
"She can't stay here Emy, I can't deal with them right now." I tell her. "Is she stable enough to fly?" I ask.
Emy nods "Sure, but I don't feel comfortable just sending you guys away."
"I just need to get her away from the paparazzi. They're having a field day. I can already only imagine the headlines." I rub my face with my hand. Had I slept? I didn't feel like it. "Can we at least get her to Vancouver? Just out of L.A." I ask. "I'll get a private jet, I don't care how much it costs. I'm done being a celebrity right now. I just want to be her wife."
Emy nods and sighs "Lets get her home. In your bed. Lindsey and I will stay with you guys so I can keep an eye on her."
I looked up at her, my face brightening "You'd do that?" I asked. "I can't ask that of you."
"You're not, I'm offering. Tegan, we'd do anything for you two. You're some of our best friends. We love you. Besides, you have awesome food at your place, and a lake. This environment, really isn't the best for either of you. You need to be home, I can see that. I'm so glad you guys are taking a break. Too much stress right now. You guys have worked so hard for so long. It's time to settle down and just be a family. Doctor's orders."
I nod. "Thanks Emy." I paused. "This tour is over. I'm not risking it. I'll let the press know. Can we just make the arrangements to get home? I'll deal with whatever shit they throw my way. Lets just get home."
Emy nods and rubs my leg. "Take a minute with her, before you launch into that. I'll go get things taken care of on the medical end." She nodded, then reached into her pocket.
"Oh, I almost forgot. Meet your baby."
She handed me the picture and I gasped, smiling wide. I ran my fingers over the ultrasound image, and felt the tears. I looked up at her.
"Thank you." I told her, then looked back at the picture.
She nodded and I heard her leave. I looked at Sara, and scooted the chair closer. I stood up and gently kissed her cheek, smoothing her hair back and taking her hand, while placing the picture on the bed. Her eyes gently fluttered open and she groaned.
"Hey handsome." I tell her.
"Tegan" she moans, looking at me. "What happened?"
"You passed out on stage. It's okay though. Everything's okay, Sare." I tell her.
She slowly moves her hand down to her tummy, and I see the relief, but her eyes question me. I nod and smile.
"She's fine. Look, I've got a picture." I tell her, handing her the picture.
She looks it over carefully and I see the smile.
"She's perfect." She declares. "Tee, it feels like I was hit by a truck."
I nod "It's okay, love. Go back to sleep. Sleep it off. I'll take care of everything. You just get better."
I slowly move over to her, crawling in bed next to her. She curls into me, and I kiss her forehead. I rub her back as she gets into her favourite pregnant sleeping position, half on top of me. I hide her face from the world.
"I love you, Sasa." I make sure she knows. I just feel her nod, and feel her drift off.
I don't dare move, and just enjoy the feel of her heartbeat on my side. But, I want to get us home NOW. I reluctantly replace myself with a few pillows, making sure to put a couple between her knees so she doesn't wake up with sore hips. I walk out of the room, and close the door, letting out a deep exhale as the door clicks shut. I look up, and there are a dozen blinking paparazzi and reporters.
"Tour's off." I tell them, then walk away.
I'm followed, diligently, and they ramble a million questions at me all at the same time. I ignore them, and walk into the family only waiting room. A few people gasp when they recognize me, but I find a quiet corner and pull out my cell phone. I dial our manager's number.
"We're out. No more tour. I'm bringing her home. We're done."
I wait for his yelling, and he does. He screams about the shit we've put him through, how the label wants to drop us, how this could break our career. I yell back
"I don't give a fucking shit about any of that right now. She passed out ON STAGE, Stephen! We could have lost the baby, I could have lost her. The label, the tour. None of that fucking matters right now. It's too much. She's been pushing through pain and exhaustion, and emotional turmoil this whole time. I won't put her through any more. This tour was a mistake. The press already knows. It's done."
He starts to scream.
"Goodbye Stephen."
I hang up. I don't have the patience to deal with his manipulation right now. I dialed the private jet company in my phone and ordered one to pick us up, then I dialed mom.
"Tegan! Oh thank God. I've heard all over the news what happened. Is she okay?" Mom asked.
"Yeah mom. She's fine. Baby's okay too. Thank God Emy was here. I just called the tour off. Mom, we're coming home."
"Oh thank God, Tegan. I've been holding my breath since last night. Your manager's called here every hour." She informed me.
"Sorry about that. I just called him, before you. He's not happy but too fucking bad. I won't risk her."
"That's my girl. Your family is the most important thing." She reminded me.
I nodded "Yeah. We're getting on the jet at noon, and should be home around 3. Emy and Lindsey are staying with us for the week. They wanted to keep her here but ther're paparazzi everywhere."
"That's a good choice. Tegan, how are you?" she asked.
I took a deep breath "I'm okay. I was…not for a little bit there, but Sara woke up and she's okay and the baby's okay, and I got to hear her voice and feel her heartbeat and…I'm okay." I sighed, rubbing my forehead. "I just want to get home."
"Alright baby girl. Give Sara my best. I'll drop you two off food all week. Don't worry about anything. Safe trip home. Call me when you get in." she tells me.
"Thanks mom, I will. I love you" I tell her.
"I love you too sweetie. Have a good day."
"Bye mom"
I hung up and let out a breath. Everything was going to be okay. I saw a flash and looked up. Fucking paparazzi. s/8342832/23/What-If