The smoking room-esque scent became more powerful as Vi followed her nose, through the blades of grass and under the mushroom caps that had spawned around (no, Teemo will not be making an appearance…at least not yet). It was then Vi found the source.
A top of a green and purple mushroom was a caterpillar, the most unusual that Vi had ever seen. The insect was taking puffs from a hookah pipe, which was oddly enough able to accommodate his size. Vi was able to take this in without fainting primarily because she comes from a world where dragons and magic exist. It was the fact that the caterpillar directly resembled Master Yi. No, it was Master Yi, the same swordsman from Ionia. Vi knew him, having been enrolled in his anger management class every other Tuesday and Wednesday.
The caterpillar wore the same multi-lensed helmet as Yi did on the rift and was even dressed in his robes. The distinguishing feature was that he had two bug antennas sticking out from his head and his lower body stretched out like Nami's fish tail. Only numerous legs sprouted from his body in the fashion of, well, a caterpillar. His upper body remained the same to his Valoran counterpart, save for the two extra sets of arms.
The Masterpillar (we'll call him that) puffed tiny Technicolor rings of smoke, humming to himself as they floated around him orderly. Beneath his mask, his eyes danced around in their sockets. Every inch around him was under his surveillance. He effortlessly spotted Vi leaning up against his mushroom as if trying to get his attention. What would've been his next smoke ring was quickly exhaled as a narrow gust of smog and he leaned down to her level as he looked her in the eyes.
"Who are you?" he asked in a relaxed tone.
"Master Yi?" asked Vi, though it seemed unlikely, she hoped that he would at least know her.
"You seem unsure about it, Master Yi. Are you certain that is your name?" asked the bug.
"No, it's…well, kind of your name." Vi said.
"Even though you use my name more than I do. But you are wrong. I am simply a caterpillar. However, most of my companions call me the Masterpillar. For reasons why, I am unsure. Maybe it's my wisdom, that's all they see in me."
"So, you don't know me?"
"Who are you?" the Masterpillar countered her question with another.
"Just a traveler, look, I just want-"
"Who are you?" the insect repeated.
"Vi, ok? It's Vi. Call me Five or Six if you want, I don't care. I just want to leave this place. I have a tolerance for craziness, and it has been met." The Masterpillar nodded knowingly.
"Then leave," he said. Vi groaned in annoyance, this better be going somewhere.
"I would if I could," she told him, "But this entire dimension is against me. Nothing makes sense here! I grow then I shrink! I'm too small then I'm too big! People I know don't know me! At this point, I'm willing to give up. Jinx can live here for all I care."
"Don't you realize how crazy you sound right now?" asked the Masterpillar as he puffed out a light blue ghost from his hookah casually. Vi gave him a stupid look.
"I'm talking to a caterpillar smoking a hookah on a mushroom. I think I'm far past the point of crazy," she said.
"You begin to understand," said the insect.
"Understand what?" asked Vi.
"That you understand that which cannot be understood."
"I understand that which cannot be understood?"
"Yes, you're correct," nodded the Masterpillar.
"…What?"
The Masterpillar then shoved the mouthpiece of the hookah in front of Vi's face.
"Inhale," he instructed her.
"How will this help me?" she asked.
"It should help you understand, come to terms…or perhaps help you relax. Heaven knows you need to." Vi took the pipe and held it to her mouth.
"If this makes me shrink, I'm going to strangle you," she threatened the insect and took a hit from the hookah. She handed the piece back to him after exhaling out an orange-yellow cloud. The taste was akin to rusted metal and Vi spat to her side.
"How do you feel?" the Masterpillar asked.
"Still confused." Vi said, feeling no different then before.
"Yes," the bug nodded again, "You're on your way to enlightment."
"Ok, what's your deal?" growled Vi, "Do you feed off my misery or something? I don't want to be 'enlightened' or relax! I just want to get back to my normal size and get the hell out of here before I throw my sanity off a cliff and watch it burn!" The Masterpillar tapped his fingers together after a pause.
"Normal?" he recited, "Normal, what is normal?"
"My normal height," said Vi, "Five foot seven. Much, much taller than I am now."
"Maybe so, but with all this growing and shrinking you've done, who's to say that you're at your normal height now? Has the standard changed? Was there even a standard? And if so, who set it?"
Vi raised a finger, as if she was about to say 'cut the bullcrap' when it suddenly dawned on her.
"I finally see what you mean," she gasped, "You're saying that nothing can be normal or sane here, in a world with no rules. Nothing is absolute, normal doesn't exist here and I'm having trouble accepting it." The Masterpillar winked his eye and applauded her.
"At last, you learn," he said, "And to the victor goes the spoils."
He then reached under himself and pulled out two mushrooms; one green and one purple. He motioned to the green one first, then the latter.
"This one will increase your size and this one will decrease. You may use them however you want." Vi took the green one, its size required her to hold it with two hands.
"Thanks, Masterpillar," she said. The insect bowed.
"You'll find your path to enlightment soon. Whether you choose freedom from this land or to continue pursuing whatever has brought you here, it will only be the stepping stone."
Vi looked over the mushroom. Hopefully, it wouldn't cause her to hallucinate; this whole adventure so far had just been one gigantic trip in itself. She took a careful nibble out of the shroom, trying not to consume so much that she becomes a giantess like last time. The gulp that accompanied the swallowing could be argued to have been a nervous one. With her stomach beginning to tickle, Vi took a deep breath and felt her size shift.
"Please be the right size, please be the right size, please be the right size," she chanted to herself before slowly opening her eyes.
To her surprise, things had finally gone her way. Her head wasn't in the clouds and the trees didn't measure up to her knees. Vi had found herself standing in the woods that she had spent the last hours exploring. She gave a celebratory fist pump.
"Yes! Yes! I'm back on the road!"
Vi opened her hand, revealing the mushroom she had taken a bite out of. It now fit perfectly in her palm and was intact for the most part, save for the teeth marks. The Enforcer placed it in her pocket, seeing how she might be able to use it again should she need to. Better safe than sorry she thought.
Below in the blades of grass and among the mushrooms, the Masterpillar watched as Vi walked away. Whether she would continue her chase or go home was entirely up to her. The insect smiled to himself as he took one final puff from his hookah.
"Wonderland needs more people like her," he said.
The Masterpillar laid his pipe down and curled up his lower body in a spiral like position. The wind rolled in, just as he began the construction of his cocoon.