Chapter contains a homosexual incestual relationship and sexual content between two women. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Rating: M

Summary: What happens when she gets her wish and Tegan finds herself in an alternate reality where Sara is her girlfriend, and not her sister? Will be a LONG fic, updated often.

A/N: Look who's back! I promise it's not over. I promise I haven't given up. I've just been super, super, super busy. The writer's block was never about not having plot twists or ideas. The problem is that I've gotten to the place where it's played out in my head so much it FEELS like I've already written it. So what I'm lacking is motivation. I have a super heavy course load this semester too and have taken on a job. So much going on. I'm going to do my best to get you guys updates. I thought I'd update with a nice, fluffy chapter. Stuff goes down in the next one. Also, isn't it kind of funny how in this story, they're mainstream and *cough* Grammy award nominated, and then POOF in real life all of a sudden they break into the mainstream. Not saying I'm a psychic or force of the universe but…freaky. Also umm…Ellen? Too many coincidences! Anyways, most authors are doing this now, adding a music selection. So while writing I was listening to:

Love They Say-Tegan and Sara

Not Tonight-Tegan and Sara

Fluffy-Bolt

Enjoy! Read, Review! I love you all! Thanks for sticking with me!

Disclaimer: COMPLETELY FICTIONAL!

Chapter 38-Just Watching Her

Sara's POV

I strummed the guitar, putting all the emotion I had into it. I kept fumbling over my own fingers, hitting the wrong frets, the wrong strings. It was a mess and despite my best efforts to save it with emotion, I stopped midway and sighed, vowing to not have a breakdown in the studio. I put my guitar down and just laid on my back on the hardwood floors. I used to be able to hear the music in my head before I played it, and now I just couldn't. I closed my eyes and just listened. I listened to the hum of the amp, the pitter patter of feet upstairs that I knew belonged to my wife, my own heartbeat and breathing.

As I kept listening, I started hearing a pattern of heartbeats and footsteps, falling into sync to create a beat. I jumped to my feet and grabbed the drum machine, running into the control room and hooking it up. I started to electronically get the beat down. Once I had it, a smile spread over my face. My head and heart lit up with the music. I could hear the chords and strumming, I could hear the melody. I looped the beat and played it over the headphones, putting them on and running back to grab my guitar.

Tapping my foot to the inspired beat, I put on my guitar and grabbed my pick form between my lips, waiting for my in. And when it came, magic happened. It just all happened. It just all came out and came together. I hit the final chord and smiled.

Tegan's POV

Nom Nom Nom. Mommy. Nom.

I chuckled. We'd started Dani on solids just a day ago and she couldn't get enough. This kid was an eater. She'd suck back Sara's milk, then scarf down her cereal.

"Okay champ, okay. Mommy's gonna make you some nom nom" I told her, kissing her forehead. Dani kicked against me and giggled, sucking on the skin of my shoulder as I got the infant cereal ready. I kissed Dani's little head and smiled, whispering The Ocean to her as I grabbed the bottle of Sara's pumped milk out of the fridge. I finished humming the song as I mixed in some apple sauce and heated up the meal. I sat on an island stool and seated Dani on the counter.

"Wuddup little one?" I asked my daughter.

Dani giggled and reached for my nose. I laughed as she got a grip on it and tugged. I responded by making an elephant noise. Dani laughed hard, kicking her little feet.

Mommy funny.

I laughed "You think so, eh?"

Out of nowhere, Sara scooped Dani up. I smiled as Dani recognized her Mama and giggled as Sara brought her into a hug.

MAMA!

"How's my little buddy?" Sara asked, rubbing her back.

Mommy nom nom nom.

"Oh, mommy's getting you some yummies, eh? What a good mommy" Sara said as the microwave beeped.

I went and got the food, stirring it.

"How was your session, love?" I asked, setting the bowl on the counter to cool.

"Good" Sara replied "I totally got over that block! New track's on the computer if you want to have a listen" she said, kissing Dani and lifting her to blow a raspberry on her tummy, making the baby giggle.

"Did you put it in the…?" I started asking but was cut off.

"Yes, I put it in the new album folder. Don't worry babe" Sara reassured her.

Isighed and smiled. "I'm just trying to get a good system down since it's just us now."

"And that's all we need" Sara said, leaning over the counter and kissing me softly.

Me! Me!

Sara and I both laughed as we leaned in and gave Dani tandem kisses. Dani giggled and squirmed.

"Alrighty squirt, I'm gonna get you your nom nom. It should be cool" I told her.

She bounced in Sara's grip.

"Oh look who's got food? Does Mommy have food?" Sara taunted as Dani started reaching for me.

I chuckled and took her, sitting her in my lap at the table and bringing a spoon of cereal to her mouth she ate it with a big smile.

Yum.

Sara laughed "That has to be the most adorable thing I've ever seen!"

I smiled and fed Dani another spoonful.

"She is a cutie. I swear this kid never stops eating!" I said with a chuckle.

Dani took hold of her own feet and rocked in my lap. Sara came over and kissed the top of my head.

"I wasn't just talking about her. You know what it means when she gets a good meal, eh?" Sara asked in a sexy voice.

I smiled and nodded "Dani gets tired. Which means nap time"

"Which means Mommy and Mama get…nap time" she purred into my ear, making my clit twitch.

I bit my lip and nodded, feeding my daughter another bite. She gobbled it down happily. Sara rolled her tongue into my ear.

"The things I'm gonna do to you Tegan, will make your toes curl" she whispered into my ear.

I gulped and fed Dani the last spoon.

"I'll be waiting for you" Sara finished and walked off.

I picked Dani up and wiped her mouth, snuggling her.

Tiwed Mommy. Nap nap.

She yawned and I rubbed her back "Yeah, nom noms always make you tired. Go to sleep baby girl. Mommy loves you" I reassure.

Seep. Mommy.

I keep rubbing her back and rocking her in my arms, until I feel her go limp and her breathing deepen. She really is too cute for words. Smiling, I kiss her head and walk her to her room, where I put her in her crib and make sure the monitor's on. Tiptoeing out, I close the door and make my way to our room. I'm expecting to see Sara on the bed. When I don't, panic rises in me.

"Sara?" I call out, worried.

"In here Tee!" I hear her call out.

I walk into the bathroom, where the voice was calling from to find her on the toilet, tears streaming down her face. I crouch in front of her and rub her shoulders.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I ask, running a hand through her hair.

"I don't feel good" she whimpers.

I nod and rub her back "Is it your stomach?"

She nods silently and leans her head on my shoulder. I kiss my wife's temple and continue to rub along her spine.

"Want me to get you the heating pad?" I asked.

Sara nodded again and I stood up.

"Should I call Emy?" I asked

"No, it's not that bad. Could I get some snuggles in a bit though?" she asks, looking up at me.

My face softened and I nodded "AND a tummy rub."

"I love you Tegan" she whimpered.

"Love you too, honey. I'm gonna go grab you that heating pad" I say before walking out of the bathroom.

I head into the kitchen where I grab the pad out of one of the cabinets in the island and put it in the microwave. I sigh. Well, no sex for me tonight. Maybe I should bring Dani in with us. I bet she can make Sara feel better. She'll want to nurse when she wakes up anyways. Besides, she's so cute when she's asleep and we love t snuggle her. Nothing like baby snuggles. I smile to myself thinking of my daughter as the microwave beeps and I grab the moose-decorated pad out of the maching.

My feet carry me to Dani's bedroom where I pick her up out of the crib and put her on my shoulder, carrying both her and the pad into our room where Sara was in bed.

"Oh, baby!" Sara said, excited when she saw Dani "Just what I need!"

I smiled and handed her our sleeping daughter "I thought you might want double the snuggles"

"You thought right" She said, hugging Dani close.

I smiled and got into bed behind her, wrapping the heating pad around her midsection and placing my hands over it as I scooted in close to press my front against her back. She let out a low growl of a moan.

"Oh my god. This is perfect. You're the best" Sara mumbled.

"Just close your eyes and go to sleep, gorgeous. You'll feel better when you wake up" I whispered to her, kissing her ear and slipping a leg between her two.

Sara nodded and let out another little moan, locking her ankles around mine and getting comfortable against me. I waited patiently for her to fall asleep, just watching her and our daughter.